Aggressive Toddler

[Chub Chub]

My cousin's son, who is also my godson, is extremely aggressive. He has had this aggression since he was able to walk. Now I am not talking about what I perceive as normal aggression as a means of communication either! He is now a month off 2 years old and it is getting much, much worse.

He stands over other children, pinches, scratches and pushes. This is not to do with fights with other children over toys or anything like that BUT he is aggressive ALL of the time. I am just wondering wether he may have some type of disability???? It sounds horrible to say:thumbsdown: . I love him to bits as he is my godson but it is getting extremely frustrating.

He is also not affectionate, ever to anyone. And when he is in contact with other children he instantly pushes them or pinches. My cousin has just had her second baby (8 weeks ago) and he pinches and punches him. He can get very sly in this manner also by intially holding hands with other children then he slowly digs his nails into the backs of their hands:confused:

I don't know whether I should suggest she has him checked professionally (and how do I address this topic) or if it is just extreme behaviour that I am not used to in kids? I have just never seen this type of behaviour from other children. I mean I have seen kids bite, push etc as a means of communication when they are frustrated but nothing like this.

She does discipline him but it is a constant thing with him and it gets SO tiring. It is almost to the point where I hate having my daughter near him as he is constantly at her. And she is constantly running away from him and climbing up on the nearest available adult (which is unusual for my currently shy little cherub).

Can any one shed some light or has any one experienced the same? Thanks:o

[B-belle]

He's not affectionate ever??? That does sound strange. If you do try and talk to her about it..be very carefull about how you bring it up. Most people dont want to hear about it!

But if there is something wrong...the earlier he gets help the better off he will be.

[Chub Chub]

That is what rings alarm bells is that he not affectionate. He does kiss but I think it is because he has learnt that after he has terrorised other kids he HAS to kiss, hug and say sorry. But he is not affectionate on a whim like most kids.

MMMmm! Hoping someone can shed some light???

[1+1=5]

there could be so many reasons for his behaviour whether it be dietary, medical (mediation he is taking regularly) learned or something more serious. i think you should bring it up with his mum, although i have a feeling she may have heard it plenty of times before.
i have a friend with a little boy like your godson and it has gotten to a point where i won't visit if i have DS becaues all he does is hurt him. this friend of mine has had daycare staff aproach her because he is hurting other children all the time, and they suggested that she have him 'checked out' and she went crazy at the daycare worker, so not all parents receive it well. her family is constantly commenting too but she doesn't seem to see that its as bug a problem as it really is. she thinks its normal.
good luck with it and i hope you can find something so your poor DD doesn't have to get hurt too, hes only going to get stronger with age.

[Chub Chub]

I really hope that it isn't learnt behaviour. My cousin and her husband have been fighting a lot of late. :thumbsdown:

I spoke to my aunt (my godsons grandmother) about his aggression and she got really defensive! She said it is horrible that he doesn't know how to communicate yet and everyone gives him a hard time. She said his pushiness was a normal phase. I think it is a lot more than just normal pushiness from a toddler. Hopefully he will grow out of it but I am really afraid he is going to really hurt another child!

[Lirael]

sounds like attention seeking to me. in an extreme. he hurts-he gets told off etc=attention. some kids like it good or bad. maybe the mum should try different approaches to discipline ie ask the child to stop what there doing/pack up/go for bath etc(making sure u have eye contact and the childs attention) wait 2 mins, if the child has not done what is asked get attention once more and state what you want again, using clear words ie 'bailey time to pack up the blocks please' if they dont respond again get their attention and say ie 'ok bailey I asked you to put away the blocks and you didnt so now its naughty corner/chair/step and then once he is there walk away. after one minute go back and say 'ok lets go pack up the blocks together' the less attention this negative behaviour gets the less he will do it(we hope). also i find gently but firmly holding my DS/DD hands when they hit etc and saying 'we dont hit, gentle hands please' usually does the trick. and DS has disabilities and he has responded very well to these methods.

[bronny-jane]

my nephew was similar to an extent, his behavour has changed so much though now he goes to preschool/daycare.....he is such a good boy now, and he even speaks better...sometimes kids need to get away from their parents every now and then, and if he goes into some kind of care once a week he'll learn quicklt that his behavour wont be accepted, and hopefully will like the good attention he gets from playing well with others...it really builds their self esteem up:thumbsup:

[Chub Chub]

Hey BJ....congrats and welcome back!

He has just started family daycare twice a week and I am hoping that will make a difference.:fingerscrossed:

I don't want my gorgeous godson growing into an unlikeable terror!