How would you feel??

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

how is this?? I received a phone call from a distressed parent at my DSD's school telling me a) my DSD has been walking my 4 yr old DSS home from school (which we teh kids had told us but birth mother denied and we had to believe her) and b) they were home alone after school...she actulaly rang the school as was so worried...the school rang birth mother on mobile who made some **** and bull story up and thats that...however now they are insisting she collects DSS from class etc...
In June my DH rang their house at 3.05pm only to have his daughter pick up the phone...he said hi honey can i speak to your mum...she said no she not here...DH said "what!!!" DSD said no worries dad it happens all the time I just break in...DH couldnt get hold of his ex and we were miles away so he rang DCD to ask them to go to house and wait with child - they refused...as did police...his ex returned about 1/2 hour later with a huge excuse...but no explanation as to why she thought ok to leave 8 year old home alone...DCD gave my DH the impression they would inform the school and my DSS's kindy teacher assured us he was being picked up by Lacey and then they were picked up by DH's ex...
ok...since then the kids have let slip that they walk home alone (not too far but still hell of a responsibility for an 8 year old) and that their mum leaves them alone...but we can do nothing...infact been told to mind our own business
so...then we get this happening this week and DCD still wont act...though they now assure us they will liase with school, and tell my DH you know you can refuse to give children back at end of school holidays...which we know but would really mess with kids heads and DH works away...they are quite willing to take the mothers word she isnt leaving them at home despite independent witnesses that she is...
now say my DSD decides to make some hot milo and spills boiling water on her or my DSS, or they decide to play with candles etc etc...and something awful happens...where will DCD stand then - oh sorry you told us they were home alone but because of our remit we cant intervene until it too late!
GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!:banghead: :banghead:

[House full of Princesses]

:eek: That's awful!!! I have a 7yo DD, and couldn't imagine ducking 2 doors away and leaving her, let alone leave her for so long and with that much responsibility! Way too young, IMO. And as far as being in your situation, where another parent has control over this and you don't, well I would find that extremely hard to handle.
I can't offer any advice, sorry...but I hope something gets done about it soon. Not only for the kids' sakes, but for your peace of mind.

[DQ]

tell my DH you know you can refuse to give children back at end of school holidays...which we know but would really mess with kids heads and DH works away...

If you feel those children are in danger, why wouldn't you refuse to give them back???????????? Regardless of what the children think about it, or whether your DH works away????

[House full of Princesses]

If you feel those children are in danger, why wouldn't you refuse to give them back???????????? Regardless of what the children think about it, or whether your DH works away????

I agree with this to a certain extent, however can totally see mytillieroo's point of view, where it would totally mess with the kids heads. Especially because they probably don't see much wrong in the situation (ie. it's obviously what they're used to). Not to mention the huge issues it would bring about for the future.

[DQ]

I fully understand that, and I honestly don't mean to be argumentative or appear to be unsympathetic, but IMO if there was ANY doubt that the safety of those chilren was in jeopardy, then there wouldn't be any hesitation on my part to "rescue" them IYKWIM.

To me, there were to many "what if's" posted in the OP for my liking, and that fact is obviously what is upsetting the OP and her hubby. Just my 2 cents worth!:)

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

I know what you saying...we are really beating ourselves up at the mo..if DH gives up job up north we are @***** financially and would lose house yet if he doesnt come back the poor little ones have to live like this...but really I suppose we want just some back up or someone authoritative to tell her it not on...in the hope she may change her ways...the kids dont see it as abnormal and would be devestated if we created a fight over them in that way...despite their mother being irresponsible she is their mother...and I cannot have the children here with Andrew away as I not their parent... I think thats what made me feel useless & terrified for them this week...
does that make any sense or do we still seem awful ?

[DQ]

OMG you are not awful, just in an awful situation. If you didn't care (which you clearly do) that would be awful.

:hugs: to you, you are in an impossible situation. I hope it resolves itself for the better, and I hope those children remain safe. Won't your local police do anything????? Even try and baffle her with words???????

Good luck! :fingerscrossed: