View Full Version : How to teach dd to be gentle
For some reason my dd seems very rough compared to other babies. I just don't know what else I can do to encourage her to be gentle. She would rather hit me and scratch my face than have kisses and cuddles.
Maybe it's cos I smother her to much anyway she gets all the kisses and cuddles from that. We have tried saying "no" in a deep voice, smacking her hand (not too hard, but enough to shock her), shaking our head and saying "gentle" in a deep voice. Any Advice would be appreciated.
How old is your DD? We taught our now 16 month DD about gentle by showing her and using the word. We have a cat (old & cranky) so we would sit DD on our lap and guide her hand in gentle pats while saying gentle in a calm voice. The cat would leave if she was rough so she figured it out pretty quick. Hoping our lessons keep working when bub2 arrives.
I think the best way to teach is by modelling the preferrd behaviour. If my daughter hits me i gently take her hand and show her how to touch gently. I speak in a calm voice and remind her that hitting hurts and we touch each other gently. I then give her the opportunity to copy what I have just shown her. 9 times out of 10 she will be gentle, if she hits again I just repeat calmly and show her again how to be gentle. Toddlers don't hit and scratch to deliberately hurt us, they are just experimenting with actions and the effects of those actions. Telling her to be gentle is a good start but if she isn't consistently shown what 'gentle' actually is then how os she to know?
Honestly, i would try not to smack her, it kind of sends the wrong message I think, especially to such a young baby. If she sees you hitting then it will be hard for her to get the message that we shouldn't hit others, if you always use gentle touch with her then she will be more likely to copy your behaviour and learn from it positively.
everytime she hits you I would take her hand and say OUCH, gentle and show her "gentle" touching. If she hits again I would put her down or get up and walk away and say OUCH, gentle. She should soon learn that if she wants to be cuddled or played with she needs to be GENTLE. Good luck.
Lock and Lu
I'm not sure how old your DD is (I'm on my phone) but we found a doll a good tool for teaching our DD gentle. It was like her little baby and we let her 'practice' being gentle with it. I found it actually worked.
All great advice ladies!! Thankyou. I will try saying gentle just like you've described. Makes alot more sense now why the hand smack isn't working.
She turns 1 next week (for those that
my DD is 10mths and is exactly the same, very rough, i actually have 2 massive scratches across my head to prove it!!! i know she is just playing but im trying to teach her too, i hold her hand and run it down the side of my face saying "gentle" so far no results but i used to do this with my toddlers when i worked in child care and it worked so well they would always come and show me their "gentle hands" as we called them!
I agree with minties
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