Help! My 3 1/2 month old won't sleep alone!

[fingersandtoescrossed]

This is my first baby and i've adjusted and taken to most things easily enough.... however, I cannot for the life of me get her to sleep alone. :confused:

When we first brought her home from the hospital, we had the cot right next to our bed but she only slept for an hour for three nights in a row... my fiance and I couldn't take the lack of sleep- with him working the next morning and me looking after a newborn, so we decided to let her co-sleep with us. She loved it!! I also wanted to try attachment parenting, so this fit in with the methodology. From that first night we started off with her waking every 3 hours for a feed and now she will wake only once during the night for a feed. This is great, except that during the day she will only sleep on/next to me. If she falls asleep on me, I try and wait 10 mins or so and then move her to her cot. The second I place her in, her eyes open and she either starts to cry til I pick her up or wakes up completely and makes noises as though she is playing.

I want a routine, I want my baby to sleep without me so that I can get some time to myself. We also would like to try and get our bed back to ourselves but I'm not a fan of letting her "cry it out". I'm after some advice as to how to get her to sleep in her cot during the day. I figure once she is okay with it during the day, I can start getting her used to it at night.

She's almost 4 months, should I expect her to fall into a normal routine or am I hoping for too much? lol. Thanks in advance :fingerscrossed:

[Bubbles10]

During the day you could try feeding her lying down on your bed, or a mattress on the floor, and then sneak out when she is asleep.

At 4 months, bubs often change their sleep patterns so don't be surprised if she decides to do something different.

My LO took til about 12 months before she started to sleep longer and was comfortable by herself.

Is the cot warm when you put her down? flannel sheets and a hot water bottle before you put bub down can help with the transition.

[Jennifer50238]

Elizabeth pantleys no cry books have great ways to change the habit lovingly. No cry sleeps solutions & no cry nap solutions.

[fingersandtoescrossed]

Thank you both for your advice! I have tried the hot bottle once before, but as it didn't work I gave up. I will try and be persistent. I have not tried our bed, that's fantastic advice - I will be trying that today. (I'll let you know how I go!)

I will definitely get that book, i've had a few mothers mention it now but thought that I should be able to put my bubba to sleep without a book, lol I'm very stubborn :laughing:

Thanks again ladies!

[SalsaMama]

I was exactly where you are at the moment, and nothing seemed to work. I was struggling with undiagnosed PND and a baby who would only scream if he wasn't sleeping on me, so I moved in with mum for a week.

When I came back home, I decided enough was enough - I put DS in his cot for his first sleep and he didn't protest at all. Still was a bit tough to get him to sleep, but I think it was more due to him being severely sleep deprived than wanting to be on me. He's now not too bad a sleeper, though we did get a wonderful sleep consultant in to help.

[Me&MrMagoo]

Yup, I fed in bed and got up when he was asleep, or I'd lay there and have a nap with him :) and I'm still do it 16 months later :)




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[meatpopsicle]

I agree re the Pantley books. And the key is being patient, consistent and persistent. She will resist change because she's used to sleeping next to you, but if you keep at it she'll eventually get used to it! It is really really hard at first and you may find yourself spending hours rocking her cradle or in your arms or going into her room to resettle her or whatever you end up trying, but you'll have little breakthroughs and eventually something will work. Good luck :)

[fingersandtoescrossed]

Bubbles- it worked! Only twice for 30 mins but the sneaky feed-her-on-my-bed worked! I think I'll stick with this for a bit, getting her used to sleeping alone and then i'll transition to the cot.

Thank you everyone for you input/ advice.... I'm glad i'm not the only one! :)

[Bubbles10]

Awesome!

i also liked the no cry sleep solution, some libraries stock it too.

As my LO got more mobile, i would do the feed to sleep-sneak out on a mattress on the floor, cos i was a bit concerned she might hurt herself getting off the bed. now she can get off safely we are back on the bed. i have also done barriers of pillows. whatever works, just as long as bub is safe.

[DairyfreeDiva]

My ds was a great sleeper, straight in the bassinet next to my bed as soon as we were home from hospital. He self soothed/settled etc and I thought I was the ants pants mum and was doing everything right. I couldnt understand how mothers co slept with the worry of sids etc. Then I had little miss dd. She wouldn't sleep unless some part of her was touching me. Through the day I carried her around in a pouch at night i gave in and she slept next to me in the bed and every time I tried to move her she'd cry herself silly. I gave in and did everything she wanted. She decided she was ready to sleep on her own at 4 months. Ends up I'm not the ants pants know it all mum I thought I was. Follow ur bubs lead... Things will go a lot smoother and you'll cause yourself and bubs less stress. they all march to their own drum and it's easier to go with it then fight it.... Just my opinion anyway.

[chaleyscott]

It is quite natural for them to want to be close to you 24/7 and they are little for such a short time. Can you not get some help with housework etc so you can just focus on you and your baby at this special time?

I know that having your baby attached to you constantly can make you go a little bonkers at times - I've been there. But it really is for such a short part of their lives and they are only asking for what they need - you! It can be overwhelming I know.

My advice is to go with it and respond to whatever she needs. Try and keep yourself well-rested and nurtured by getting help around the house and resting whenever she rests, or using a carrier so you can get out and about and do things too.

[beccacino]

There is light at the end of the tunnel. My DD was a great night sleeper but would only day sleep with my nipple in her mouth (or in the car) no dummies accepted. We went through the mattress on the floor sneak out method. Was very hard to spot DD tired cues. Once she became a mobile toddler I had to lay down with my arm heavy on her for a couple of minutes till she went to sleep. We went through a stage of being able to transfer from car to cot. She had self weaned by this stage. One day I asked her if she wanted a sleep, she nodded, said seep & walked into her room. (14 months) So now she has a 2 hr stress free day nap & sleeps through 7 - 7 at night. DH thinks she never developed negative vibes about sleep time & knew if she needed us we were close by. We never let her cry & that hasn't turned into a rod for our back like some aunties etc predicted. We are planning to try follow the next bubs lead, hoping for an independent sleeper but prepared to use a sling etc if need be. Cherish this close time, DD runs the other way now when I ask for cuddles!