Hey SAHDs, what's your day like?

[ZumbaMumma]

Hi Dads :wave:

DH and I are about to find ourselves in a position where it will be financially beneficial for him to stay at home with DD than it will be for me to do so. I have to admit that I am a little bit bummed over this because I feel I will miss out on so much of my daughter's life by returning to work..but I suppose if it wasn't me missing out it would be him.

Anyway...I'm just wondering, what do you do all day as a stay at home Dad? DH is guilty already of sticking DD in her bouncer and spending hours playing poker online or drawing, hates doing housework, and has changed a total of 2 nappies...so I'm concerned I'm going to end up working and coming home to a house that I still have to clean, and a baby with a nappy that hasn't been changed all day.

What are your responsibilities as a SAHD, and what's an average day like for you?

[Paul64]

Ok, now this is just me OK. There are squillions of other dads that have their own routine.

I get up on my days off at around 6:30 - 7:00am. Get a cuppa for myself, warm up the kitchen/family room area a tad and get bubs organic porridge and fruit ready. Now I veg out until she wakes.

When she does, it's nappy change, into her high chair, nuke up her baby porridge and feed her.
After breakfast we sit on her play pad and play and watch the kids shows of ABC For Kids.

Nap time around 9:00 - 9:30 for 45 - 60 minutes. This is my time now for a shower and to get dressed and to do anything else until she wakes. When she wakes its more play on the floor while I prepare her lunch of home made vege mush or thereabouts.

We may go out for a while to the shopping centre or a playgroup until early afternoon where back at home it’s a food top-up and begin to get ready for her more substantial afternoon snooze of usually an hour or two. During this time I get to do housework, washing, drying, ironing, cleaning, and think about our evening meal....you get the picture don't you?

When she wakes, it’s a food top-up and then she plays inside her playpen quite happily until her ABC For Kids show begin. Some time around 6:30 its bath time, then night bottle and off to bed at around 7:00pm. Then I get to check emails, watch the ABC news at 7:00 and enjoy a glass of red wine. And think that in 12 hours time, it begins all over again. Yay!!!!

Paul
SA

[parentingrocks]

Wow Paul!!!!

[nicole83]

Paul you sound like a wonderful father! You are doing a great job :) I bet your dd absolutely adores you because it sounds like you are very attentive to her needs and routine.

My dh does a good job too on the occasional day he has to look after our dd by himself...although he did forget to give her afternoon tea last time!! Lol lucky she's a big eater and must have had plenty at lunch!!

[oddmumout]

Wow is right! You are super organised. We just wing it in our house LOL :smiliedance:

[oddmumout]

Zumbamumma, It sounds like he believes he is on holidays which is perfectly reasonable for someone who has always worked etc.

If he treats it more like a job - in terms of having some regular routines it will help him get through the day. And by routine I mean doing certain things like having playtime, having bath time, feed time, tv time - you get the gist. Not necessarily bound by times if he's not that way inclined.

Also whilst the online games are keeping him occupied it will lose it's lustre so planning some outtings might give him something to look forward to.

It would be hard for him though as Dads seem to be on the outside when it comes to parents groups - it's always mothers and the guys don't want to venture there.

Maybe he could set up a facebook page and look for other Dads and the blokes could meet up with their kids?

Good luck

[ZumbaMumma]

Thanks :) Paul, you sound like super dad!

Oddmumout, thanks for the advice. We'll be in the states shortly and it's even harder there for a SAHD as SAHM isn't even a norm really. We don't have much assistance for families so unless you are rollin' in the dough, everyone has to work. We aren't rollin' in the dough either I just refuse to put my kid in the care of someone else after having a nephew that was murdered by his babysitter at 16 months (and she was supposedly a friend of the parents). DH is a good dad and has wanted to be a Dad forever...I think if he would just show a bit more interest now while I am the one at home I would feel more confident. Maybe I'll let him read Paul's approach..it sounds pretty good :)

[Paul64]

Hi all.

We've discovered that a routine is very important. Babies like routine and parents even more. If you establish a routine early on, one that includes, of course, meals, snooze time, bath time, play time both solo and with you, they will settle better during the day and in the evening too. Good low GI baby meals with no or very little preservative and artificial colours are naturally better for bubs. We use a mix of bought food and home made. Her main meals are all home made and made in bulk on a fortnightly basis and frozen until needed.

We are in a playgroup of around 6 or 7, almost entirely women during the week as most of the other dads are working boys (that's fair enough) and we all have a great time. They talk about everything that the women talk about as if they were a single gender outfit. They all talk freely and openly about almost anything. It's really a fantastic group of people.

Are we a little to regimented? I don't feel we are. Having a well planned day allows us time to get out and do coffee and cake and pick up a few things at shopping centres quite easily. On the odd occasion sleep times have been thrown out a little so it's important not to get too flustered by that. Every now and then is absolutely no big deal.

The bottom line is do what ever is working. If things aren't working, well then you need to change and experiment to find what does with you and your little one/s.

Cheers and kindest regards
Paul
SA

[bigbadbrad]

Just another vote for routine

Our eldest loved his after lunch Naps, he got so used to them that he almost put himself down!!!! so when his little sister came along and saw big brother heading for a nap with no fuss she did the same thing. As did the 2nd little sister.

I realise we were very lucky buuut one of the most important things for kids (and parents sanity)in the early stages is sleep and routine helps that alot.

I feel it is important that the routine is time only. By that I mean that whereever you are for lunch the nap takes place and not that you have to be at home in their bed. I know parents whose kids only sleep well at home and that makes life really difficult

Regards
BBB