Booked in for Thursday

[invisibleme]

Hi all,

This is my story
Last week I found out I was preg, first reaction was shock tears and more tears

I had only freaked out at df two days before for getting carried away in the heat of the moment and had taken the MAP.

We have a beautiful dd who is 4 and is my everything she was planned took ages to get and is so precious to
Me in everyway, I have a great job as does df but I'm so scared that as this baby was unplanned and effectively not wanted that I won't love it and the pregnancy will just be one big rollercoaster ride into depression ive been there before and it wasn't pretty.

I'm booked in for a termination on Thursday as I wanted it done before a heartbeat could be detected and all day I was ok but now The what ifs are starting and it's killing me. Am I starting to consider other options now i have made one? I couldn't bear to look at my children and think that I love one more than the other I'm so angry at myself for so many reasons

[aussiegal18]

:hugs: :hugs:

[FloatingFairy]

:hugs:

I think you need to do some serious soul searching, thinking and talking with your DF between now and thursday.

:hugs: hope you come to a decision you're 100% happy with. xx

[MamaC]

Invisibleme, :hugs: what a tough situation to be in.
The what if's can be so difficult to deal with. Have you shared your doubts with your DF? If not, do you feel you can?

If you can, talk talk talk to your DF. Make sure this is the right decision for you both - whether that means a termination or keeping the baby.

:hugs: Sending you lots of strength and hugs :hugs:

[greengables]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

You sound like a wonderful mother to your DD who is 4

Please talk to your DF, your Mum, anyone else that you trust and can share your fears with. Please don't make any rash and rushed decisions.

[mummykitty]

Sounds like the other girls have said what I would have so I'm adding lots of huge hugs :hugs: :hugs: take your time and talk it through it's important you're ok with your decision :hugs:

[invisibleme]

Thanks everyone df and I keep going around in circles on this one and keep ending up fighting And atreasing each other out. on one hand if were going to ever have another baby now is as good time as any but on the other hand it's like it's been forced on us to make the decision and we feel like we have no control over our lives I'm so scared as to what the after affects will be but I now know that I'm not alone and I have the bubhub to help me get through this I can see a hard road ahead I just hope I'm strong enough to get through it

[Hollywood]

Huge hugs :hugs:

Have you considered contacting a counsellor who specialises in unplanned pregnancies? I found numbers for one when I googled after finding out about my surprise baby at the beginning of the year. In the end, funnily enough, it was the folks here on BubHub who helped me work it out and I decided to keep the baby (am now 24+3w due 1st Oct).

Good luck with whatever you choose, but do seek advice and think it over carefully. Ultimately it's your body and your choice, don't worry about what anyone else thinks and make sure your decision is based on what's best for YOU. Good luck xx

[invisibleme]

Thanks Everyone, I'm waiting on a call from a counsellor now I really hope that it helps me sort myself out the what ifs are absolutely destroying me at the moment :(

[Hokey Pokey]

All the best with the counsellor, don't make any rash decisions just yet xox

[MyFourCubs]

Oh hun, unplanned pregnancies can be an absolute shock- believe me, I know. I know the fear, the stress, the gut wrenching anxiety, the panic- know it well. I can tell you though that what you feel on the day you took that pregnancy test is normal and while some people may never waver from that, many do and if you have any doubts then you owe it to yourself to see if you are one of them.

Don't rush into anything you may seriously regret:hugs::hugs:

I have two stories of my little "surprise babies" both linked in my signature if it would help you to read them.

Best of luck with your decision.:hugs::hugs:

[krystallxx]

Hugs! Take ur time too make ur choice! You need to be 100% comfortable. I have been where you are, I terminated and I'm happy with my decision. It's sad and break my heart I let it happen but the best thing at the time was to terminate.

All the best xx

[Acacia]

Hi,
Just wanted to offer my support and warm thoughts. It is a tough time and only you will know what is the best decision to make. I agree with the ladies here, in that its a good idea to chat to friends and df to help figure this out.

Lots of hugs, and i hope the counsellor helps.

x

[Freya]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[invisibleme]

Ok councilor is booked for 1.30 tomorrow and is an expert in this sort of thing fingers crossed she can help me get to a decision I'm happy with
Thank you all for your kind words and support it means a lot to know there are people out there prepared to give me their time and kindness even though I feel I dont deserve it

[waterlily]

Good luck tomorrow Hun. I'll be thinking of you.

[MyFourCubs]

So glad you got an appointment- and you most definately deserve a wealth of love and support, whatever your decision.:hugs:

[shelby27]

I think all the unplanned things are what make up life without the unplanned things you just have a never ending schedule of events.

Good luck with your decision, big hugs!!


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[invisibleme]

Ok well after my counseling session today I have confirmed my appointment for tomorrow and I'm finally ok as I can be with my decision now is not the right time for me to be having another child and I feel I need to be happy about the pregnancy and looking forward to the drs appointments ultrasounds and giving dd a sibling and I'm just not I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself completely for this decision but the councilor did suggest that I get sone further help in getting to the bottom of my fears about having another baby and maybe one day when I'm ready I'll be able to give dd myself and my df an addition to our family and be in a better mental and loving place to do that. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your kind words of support through what has truly been the hardest decision I have ever had to make and I hope that one day I'll be able to forgive myself

[himherandhe]

:hugs::hugs:

I too have had a termination when I unexpectably fell pregnant when my third child was just 18mths old. It was a hard desicion to make but I had to do it for everyone. I am okay with the desicion I/we made and do feel sad that we had to do it but I knew that one day I could have a planned pregnancy where everything would work better and now Im 6wks preg with our planned fourth baby.

I cried through the whole thing because I just felt bad that I let it (conception) happen but there is nothing wrong with having a termination.

Good luck :) :hugs:

[Mrs J]

i just want to wish you all the best for tomorrow, i am so sorry you had to go through this, it's not an easy decision, i had to make the decision at xmas time, i chose to terminate, but i pulled out at the last minute and decided to keep it, it's a choice i myself wasn't happy with which i think is really important, so it's good that you are as happy as you can be about ur decision. Sending you lots of hugs, take care of yourself and try not to be to hard on yourself.

[Pregalicious]

I just wanted to say that i know you will be ok - because you have shown such courage already. The strength that it takes to make this decision is a credit to you, and the strength to go in there tomorrow and do what you have decided is best, even though its hard, takes true courage. You will get through it, because you are stronger than you know :goodvibes:

BTW - ongoing counseling does sound like excellent support for you.

[mummykitty]

:hugs: glad you have made a decision that you're feeling ok about. Hope it all goes well tomorrow take care of yourself :bee:

[mummykitty]

How you holding up hun? :hugs:

[waterlily]

Thinking of you.

[MamaC]

:hugs: I've been thinking of you and hope you are ok :hugs:

[invisibleme]

Hi ladies,
Thanks for your kind thoughts for me, I'm holding up ok... Not sure how I feel at the moment been trying to keep myself busy so no time to think to much as hard as the decision was to make it was the right one and all of your kind words and support have meant the world to me thankyou from the bottom of my heart

[mrsd72]

:hugs: not an easy decision I'm sure