So Lost

[invisibleme]

Hi All,

A couple of days ago we found out i was pregnant with baby no.2, first reactions were tears shock and more tears!

We are financially in a pretty good place and DD1 is 4 years old so timing side of things is pretty good, but i had a pretty full on labour and the first few weeks were spent in SCN with DD1 as she was 4 weeks prem.

I have a geat job and 2 months ago we were having so much trouble with DD's behavious at preschool we were considering; is one enough? WE move around for work alot and have often thought that carting two children all ovedr the place in and out of school is just not fair!

My biggest fear at the moment is that i don't feel anything but inconvenience and i hate myself for it, second to that i'm extremly worried that as DD was planned and took so long to get (we were TTC for > 18 months) that i won't love this baby that same, if at all i feel empty and so drained emotionally i don't want to look at my children and think No.1 you were planned and are perfect in everyway and my world is perfect because your in it but No.2 your here because we wern't responsible enough and really are not as important or loved as much as your vbug sister.

DF says that we will love no.2 no matter what and it will have a great life with us and supportd my decision what ever that may be but i just don't know what to do i do want another baby i'm just not sure if it is now.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

[sweetsugardumplin']

Oh love :hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
You don't have to make any decisions right now.
Go gently and be kind to yourself x

[bellalika]

Not a lot of advice sorry, just big cyber hugs. Just thought I would do a few quick points (baby-ing simultaneously.
*My first son was 5 weeks prem and in SCN. #2 was only a week early so I didn't need to be the mum who came home without her baby.
*My parents moved around a lot for Dad's work when I was growing up. There are 4 of us kids. It is do-able. Different personalities take to it better than others.
*TTC #1 took 14 months of fertility treatment. #2 took 2 weeks. I thought that I would always appreciate DS1 more, but I don't.
*You may not feel as though you have enough love and patience to share between your children but you soon discover that you do. If your children are anything like mine they will push your patience to the limit and beyond. A few cuddles make most things better.
I'm sure I'll think of other things later. I hope this helps a little. Take some deep breaths and think really clearly.


Sorry, I'm iPhone-lexic

[greengables]

take some deep breaths,do some self-love pampering sessions
Help a person in need
Feel grateful with the fact that you can have children naturally
Believe that this little person is here for a reason, even if you're not quite ready - you have 9 months to adjust

And - once you see your two together you will MELT.

Things will never be the same, but you will never want them to go back to the way they were before.