Biting at daycare!

[sonya1971]

My child only attends daycare (to socialise as he is an only child) on Mondays only. In the last 3 weeks my child has been bitten by another child - unprovoked. Once on his shoulder blade - through 3 layers of clothing and last Monday on his face! Both leaving bruising. Has anyone else had these issues. I spoke to the director who in the 1st instance told me that she would keep an eye on it to ensure it didn't happen again. The last time she said that these things happen and she couldn't guaranntee it wouldn't happen again. i am really MAD!

[just her chameleon]

I have no words of wisdom to offer other than I hear you! My DD has been bitten 8 times since she started going to daycare and it makes my blood boil. Sadly I don't think there's anything carers can do but it really makes me mad that my little girl has pain inflicted on her by little brats.

[sonya1971]

My mouth dropped! 8 times...how disgusting! socialise...Humpf! What is wrong with people/parents???? Thanks for the empathy and good luck with your little one
X

[greengables]

I have no words of wisdom to offer other than I hear you! My DD has been bitten 8 times since she started going to daycare and it makes my blood boil. Sadly I don't think there's anything carers can do but it really makes me mad that my little girl has pain inflicted on her by little brats.

I'm sorry but to me that sounds extreme and I would have pulled my child out after two incidents.:confused:

Once is a mistake, twice a concern, but any more than that it sounds like an ongoing behaviour!

[greengables]

I ran a playgroup a couple of years ago, and one little girl about 2 years old would bite unprovoked. It got really bad - she would just lean in and strike, biting faces and noses and all sorts, almost drawing blood.

What made it worse was that the mother LAUGHED it off (albeit nervously), apologised to the child who was bitten, but then didn't do anything to discipline or correct her biting child!!!

In the end I had to speak to her and ask her to please keep a closer eye on her child as if it happened again she would be asked to not come to the playgroup...

It was very sad but we had to protect the other children!

[sonya1971]

We live in this age where we try to prevent bullying. Even though these children are only 2...I'm sure repeated acts like these can be classed as bullying? Why my child? who doesn't bite...and doesn't stand up for himself? I don't want him to be a target and I don't want him to retaliate with violence nor bite back????

[just her chameleon]

I'm sorry but to me that sounds extreme and I would have pulled my child out after two incidents.:confused:

And send her where? To be bitten by other brats at other daycare centers? 6 of these were by the same child in the space of a month - he has now left. The other two were once-offs by different friends who she continues to play with. I still don't know why they bit her but they weren't too bad IYKWIM? Red marks has almost disappeared by the time I picked her up. Still doesnt make it ok but the parents on both occasions apologized to me and explained they weren't usually bitters and they haven't bit DD again.

The other kid caused bruising bleeding and while waiting for a place at another centre his parents pulled him out so I continued her enrollment.

[greengables]

And send her where? To be bitten by other brats at other daycare centers? 6 of these were by the same child in the space of a month - he has now left. The other two were once-offs by different friends who she continues to play with. I still don't know why they bit her but they weren't too bad IYKWIM? Red marks has almost disappeared by the time I picked her up. Still doesnt make it ok but the parents on both occasions apologized to me and explained they weren't usually bitters and they haven't bit DD again.

The other kid caused bruising bleeding and while waiting for a place at another centre his parents pulled him out so I continued her enrollment.

fair enuf - good that extreme biter has left!!:yes:

[just her chameleon]

We live in this age where we try to prevent bullying. Even though these children are only 2...I'm sure repeated acts like these can be classed as bullying? Why my child? who doesn't bite...and doesn't stand up for himself? I don't want him to be a target and I don't want him to retaliate with violence nor bite back????

I haven't taught DD to retaliate with violence but I have taught her to stand up for herself. She will push someone away if telling them to"go away" doesn't work and she screams NO so a carer can hear her if someone is in her face. It's quite sad that I had to teach my 2yo to do this. It's such a poor reflection on society :(

As for the bullying thing - I have never understood why bullying is not punishable for law in schools but if I came over to you and bit you or verbally abused you right now I could be charged with assault?? Why is it any different?

[sonya1971]

When I went to the daycare yesterday to pick up the incident report, the director saw the massive bruise on my boy's face (which is still there today!) and she said "I thought I was still here (at the centre) when I heard something happening' She didn't even bloody well come out to see what was going on...and my child can scream and bellow with the rest of them. He was still crying when I got there (10 minutes after it happened) and I could hear the crying from the carpark! How's that for concern????

[sonya1971]

totally agree with you...why isn't it a punishable act? Are we just teaching that it's okay when you're a minor, but when you come of age you can't react physically anymore?
Shouldn't we set rules, boundaries, guidelines that set children up for their adult life?

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Ah whaaaat...? Maybe do some research and read about biting..? It is very very common. I really resent the labelling of 2 year olds who bite being bullies or brats.

[sonya1971]

I understand what you mean and yes they often use biting as a way to gain control over a situation/use it as their way of communication - as their language skills are limited, but same child has bitten mine and the centre is not monitoring it. They knew this child was a biter and it happened in the sandpit? No staff around? supervision?

[just her chameleon]

Ah whaaaat...? Maybe do some research and read about biting..? It is very very common. I really resent the labelling of 2 year olds who bite being bullies or brats.

Sorry but this is we will have to agree to disagree. I really resent having my child harmed at daycare, where she should be safe and secure.

Anyways I'm not returning to these threads - I've made my opinions known and I'm not up for arguments or debate :)

[faroutbrusselsprout]

I understand what you mean and yes they often use biting as a way to gain control over a situation/use it as their way of communication - as their language skills are limited, but same child has bitten mine and the centre is not monitoring it. They knew this child was a biter and it happened in the sandpit? No staff around? supervision?

OK, so the issue is more about how the daycare is dealing with the situation. Fair enough.

[Boobycino]

Unfortunately some toddlers bite. They aren't bullies or brats. They are toddlers. Someone elses baby. And while okay some parents laugh if off, encourage them, teach them to bite (by playing biting games) my understanding is most children just bite because they are toddlers and it'd a pretty normal phase - and it could just as easily be your child who bites :)

Not that there would be anything wrong with that. Undesirable. But for some just unavoidable.

And say your child is in the nursery. With 4:1 staff. 8 tots, 2 staff, 1 'biter' - do you have one dedicated staff member for that biter for the 10 hours or however long they attend childcare? While your child falls off low beam and can't be attended to because the other staff member is dealing with 7:1?

And then what if its the toddler room & you have 2 or 3 'biters'

:hair:

But yeah - as suggested in the other thread - maybe look into a nanny, a mummy nanny (for social interaction with her child-ren) or family day care. Or maybe not go to daycare at this stage & attend more play groups or something ? :) I'm not suggestion you should leave your child if you don't feel they are being cared for properly :)

[Littlemissmetal]

I think maybe some of you should read a thread I started a week or so ago about MY son's biting, and how horrible I felt about it and how disheartened I felt. He is 19months old, and although it is horrible that a child gets bitten at daycare, labeling a 2 yr old a bully or a brat is very wrong IMO. I don't see my son as either of those, and to think that other people do makes me feel shattered :no:

OP - I am sorry your child was bitten, I gave you all the advice I have on your other thread and I hope your child doesn't experience another bite :(

[kar]

Ah whaaaat...? Maybe do some research and read about biting..? It is very very common. I really resent the labelling of 2 year olds who bite being bullies or brats.

I agree. Of course it's a bad thing to happen, but I can say friends of mine were the parents of "the biter" at child care and did everything in their power to modify her behaviour. Her daughter wasn't being a bully or a brat. She just didn't know how to express herself and her frustration particularly. OF COURSE the biting wasn't acceptable. But just in the same way as pushing and hitting.

There but for the grace of god and all that...