Breaking Sleep Association Hard Decision

[Issey]

Wondering who has done the hard yards with leaving their baby to cry it out? How did you cope?

I really need to get some sleep :sleeping:. Have read many books on sleep and haven't really been tough enough to go through with some of the methods. Today I took DS who is 9 months to a
Paediatrician, he waking between 3-6 times per night. The doctors way to stop the sleep association problem was either the cold way. Put DS down at his nap time and let him cry if it lasts 60 mins pick him up and pretend he had a sleep, don't go out and let him fall asleep in the car or pram that day, and then put him down for his next sleep, follow same rule. Then when bedtime put him in cot and do the same but don't pick him up no matter how long it takes. Don't give in. Makes me :crying: thinking about what I am about to do but I don't see any other way now apart from the going in every 10mins method which I tried once but didn't follow it through as had to sit up going in all the time.

The Paediatrician assures me there are no long term bad effects on doing this method. We could all use a good nights sleep. I can't concentrate at my job or even be bothered with spending time with DH as I am too tired :sleeping: so something has to happen to fix it.

I'm am sure there are bubhubbers who have done this? Please let me know how it went. Thank you in advance.

[draught]

The method your doctor has described sounds much harder than the controlled crying method of going in an increasingly intervals. I have used the CC method with both children and found that the one night of sitting up and going in and out was worth it in the long run - and much easier to cope with than letting them cry for that long without going in once.

I understand the need for sleep - have been there myself. I guess what I am saying is, maybe try the other method again before you go to the tougher version of leaving him to cry for an hour. The trick to CC is consistency - once you start, keep it up and they learn quickly about sleep time being for sleep. If you want any more help let us know and we can all help with our tips for CC.

[Issey]

It does sound hard I know. The other method do you just keep going in every 10min, even if it takes up most of the night?. I tried this once and it lasted 2.15 min and DS slept for 15min and I gave up.

[draught]

With the other method I start at going in at 2 minutes, then 5, then 7.5, then 10, then keep it at ten. When I go in I give them a bit of patting on the bum until they start to calm down, then leave again. The advice I read and was given was that if they haven't even started to calm down by the 45 minute mark of going in and out then you stop leaving them and use something else to settle them (I am a fan of patting and rocking). The next time you are putting them down to sleep you just start again at the 2 minute mark, and you keep doing that until they go to sleep themselves. By being consistent I have found my girls have been putting themselves to sleep before the 45 minute mark on the first night and by the 5 minute mark on the third.

Some will tell you that you are teaching them that they can't call you for comfort, etc but I still have two little girls who call out in the night and expect their mum to go in and cuddle and pat them when they are upset. The difference is that I don't need to do it for an hour in order to get them back to sleep.

Give it a try - it has to be easier than letting him cry for an hour!

[sopolicha]

We did it cold turkey with DD2 and never looked back. In all honestly it was the best thing we ever did. She went from being on the boob all night to sleeping all night after two nights.

Put him to bed as soon as he starts with the tired signs and let him go. Day sleeps are much harder to sort out, but I rationalised it by saying 'well she sleeps really well at night'.

I was told if she is in pain to fix it, otherwise let her go. I was also told and it kind of made sense to me, that you going in every few minutes confuses them because they are always expecting you to come back through the door.

We did it and DD2 became a completely different child, happy, smiley etc. She was a bit of a grumpy bum before she slept through the night.

[Percy]

After a about three nights of DS crying for about half an hour, he is asleep now after about five minutes. That part worked out really well, as i thought i had broken the sleep association but.............. he is still waking up twice a night, so im a bit stumped at where to go from here.

Sorry i couldnt be more helpful. Best of luck to you.:hugs:

[Issey]

After thinking it through, talking to Settle Petal Midwives and re-reading some information in the 'How to Solve you Childs Sleep Problems' I am going to try the go in method rather than cold turkey.

Starting tonight I put him in his bed when he was really tired, let him b/f but not fall asleep. Lay him in his cot and said night night, love you :ecomcity: and went out and shut the door. OMG!!! he went to sleep!!!! not one cry!!! How wierd is that.

Well I am now waiting for his awakening and will try the go in and go out. I feel like it would be too mean to leave him cry it out to begin with or maybe it is just for my benefit :confused: . Guess I will be tired tomorrow :sleeping:

[draught]

I hope that your night went well.

[xkwzit]

Hmmm, perhaps babies are like animals - they "smell" your fear :D. You put him down confidently and you had a plan - he sensed that and went to sleep for you. That's great!!

(did he wake much??)

Cheers (and goos luck :thumbsup: )

[Issey]

:yelclap: all went well, DS woke at usual times during the night. I waiting 5 mins and guess what he went back to sleep on his own. No hysterical crying just a little cry for about 5 mins and then little whimpers.

Today :yelclap: had a two hour sleep in the morning and 1 1/2 hour this afternoon, just put him down and he whimpered (not crying much) for 10-15min and went to sleep.

I feel so much better already. Hope this goes okay again tonight. :D

[deanbean]

Congratulations!! Has it continued to work over the next few nights!!
I am getting to a point with my 6 1/2 month old where I would just about do anything for a nights sleep! I haven't quite got to the point where I can let her cry for long - though draughts suggestion is tempting......
I guess for me the only time bub wakes is
a - if she unwraps herself - another habit i am a bit afraid of trying to break!
b - if she's hungry

do people have much success at reducing night feeds from 2 to 1 (to hopefully none) with this method. At the moment bub is not having much if anything in the way of solids so I am a bit apprehensive about reducing the night feeds.

[Issey]

Hi Deanbean, yes it is continuing to work. DS sometimes is waking still but crying 5 or so minutes and back to sleep. I do not tend to him during the night unless it is a distressed cry going on for longer (this hasn't happened though):yelclap:

If your bub is 6.5 months - are you planning to introduce solids soon?, this may solve the waking problem as milk may not be enough to satisfy now.

My DS was never wrapped and this method means they do move about the cot and end up without covers. Maybe try a sleeping bag.

I dropped all night feeds/snacks (about 3-6) once I decided to do CC. What will happen is their daytime appetite will incease due to the changes.