RESENTING being pregnant No maternal feeling at all :-(

[starbright001]

Firstly, I would like to apologise in advance for anything I may write that may offened people, but I am stuck between a rock and a hard place at the moment.:confused:

Ok, welll I found Out I was pregnant roughly 5 weeks ago. I was happy, excited , over the moon and slightly petrified about the pregnancy. Over the last 10 days or so I have a growing resentment for my pregnancy now. I am absolutley hating every single moment of it. The sickness, no sleep, public transport, trying to eat better, the cost of dr appointments and even being able to actually get into a dr's, the constant tired feeling and the lack of support I have. I have choosen not to tell people yet (other than mum and a few very close friends who are basically useless as they are all 'yay yay yay' and 'ho exciting we can do play group'...I'd rather stick needles in my eyes atm). I have never had suicidal thoughts before (I'm a happy and healthy young woman) but this past week the thoughts are coming more and more and seems like a bloody brilliant idea (again I usually don't think like this):hair:

The very people I have told are at me 'when can we go baby cloths shopping' or have you picked out which OB you are having....'Not once 'how are you coping' or 'is everything ok' .I started to try and explain to my mum that I wasn't really coping and considering terminating the pregnancy due to the fact I have gone from being super excited and happy to down right hating every moment of this pregnancy, i am having suicidal thoughts and that I didn't want to continue in fear that I will end up being one of those mothers who hates their child or even worse, does something terrible to it. Lot of good that did as she is quite old fuddy duddy stuck in her ways and her reply was 'nonsence, you will under no circumstances terminate this pregnancy':eek:...um hello I came to you for support and all you do is talk to me like I am the devil.

I have a good job, I like my life the way it was before I fell pregnant, I like only having to think of me and me only. I love being able to drop everything and ping off to the coast for the weekend or sleep in till 11am if i want to.
I see mothers pushing their babies around in prams and just think 'this is so not me', I don't want to think of names or pick out baby clothes, I just want my life back. I have cancelled my ultrasound as I really don't want to see it and if I do terminate the pregnancy, I'm going to need all the spare cash I can get (as I don't get any type of centrelink benefits so no health care concession). But the thought is still there in my head...is this just me not meant to be a mum or is it all the crazy hormones messing with my head?

please anything would be great atm...I'm soooooooo not me:hair: I currently take (and have done so for nearly 10 years) 150mg of zoloft which I also concerning me as the dose is quite high and If i feel this bad on them, how the hell am I suppose to cope in the 3rd trimster when apparently you cannot take it?

[Purplebird]

I would urge you to go to your GP and see a good psychologist/counsellor to work through your feelings. I can relate to some of your thoughts about not feeling maternal and not liking pregnancy, but mine were not as bad as yours. In talking you may find out what is best for you. Also, pregnancy depression is surprisingly common. Best of luck for finding some peace of mind :hugs:

[Señor Chang]

I think the best thing you can do is talk to a councelor or a psychologist about how you are feeling. Pregnancy is such a confusing time and can have many mixed emotions and talking to a professional may make things better.

I hope all goes well for you.

[onkybear]

:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: and a million more.

Personally I wouldnt make any decision about terminating until you are sure of why you are feeling this way. To go from excited to resentful, I would be a little concerned that maybe hormones or something is a little out. Plus add to hormones, lack of sleep, feeling sick all the time, doesnt make for a good experience. My advice is book an appointment with your gp. Go and talk about everything. It may be possible you have a touch of pre-natal depression.

We are all here for you if and when you need us :hugs::hugs:

[3 Little Pigs]

First of all big :hugs::hugs:

Im pregnant with my 4th bubba, i wanted this baby so much but now Im having the exact same feelings.
I myself would never terminate, thats just not me.
I feel so guilty for being so sick and not being able to look after my other kids the way i want to and i hate relying on other people to help me.
I don't know know if I'm imagining it or if its real but i feel like my DH resents me.

I had PND after my last baby and i can feel myself slipping again.

Do you have a good GP or friend you could talk to?

Sorry i don't have much helpful to say but i just wanted you to know your not alone

[weirdali]

The fact you were excited and happy and now your not points to hormones. I think without talking to a professional you may regret a termination.

Maybe consider adoption if you feel this way. Btw you can take a baby on a holiday. You can do what ever u want to do! Yes you have to be responsible for another human being but the good stuff makes it all worth it!


Sent from my iphone, excuse my mistakes, i have big thumbs.
Me 26 + DH 25 baby eric 13/08/2010

[Savingfishfromdrowning]

It must be so difficult and confusing for you at the moment :hugs::hugs:

I agree with the others, don't make a decision until you've spoken to a cousellor, or go to your GP and tell them how you are feeling.

You said yourself that you don't normally feel this way, and that the change has been sudden, so there is every chance it's hormones. There is often a big hormonal change at around the 6 week mark, which is where you are.

Feeling non-maternal and having doubts and second thoughts is all very normal, but feeling like you want to hurt yourself is not, so tell your doctor because they can help, and won't tell you it's 'nonsence' (:eek:).

[DaughteroftheForest]

:hugs::hugs::hugs: and more :hugs:

It really sounds like you may have perinatal depression hon. I would be going to see your GP asap to get some help.

I can really empathise with you, early pregnancy is pretty rotten. I'm 10 weeks with my third, with a much planned, much beloved baby and there have been times when I've wished like crazy that I wasn't pregnant or we'd put off ttc because it just makes everything so much more complicated. I hate feeling sick and weak and tired all the time and resent the fact that I can't do as much as I normally could. I've had all day nausea, which I didn't have with my previous pregnancies and I HATE it.

I couldn't terminate, but that is a very personal decision and whatever you choose to do is entirely up to you. As a first step I would urge you to go and talk it through with someone impartial so you can work out what will be best in the long run for you.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Etienne]

:hugs: I'm 15 weeks pregnant with a very muxh wanted baby. I went through IUI with donor sperm and travelled interstate numerous times to get pregnant. At about 6/7 weeks I started feeling like it was a mistake and I couldn't deal with the ms and everything I was feeling. Then I started thinking I'd be the worst mum in the world and that I was selfish to get pregnant in the first place. I started snapping at my partner when she got excited about baby things.
Around 10 weeks the dr thought I nay have had a missed miscarraige. I starting feeling bad about thinking those things I was thinking but even when I seen my baby on the screen I was happy but still not "connected". It took until my 12 week scan that I felt pregnant and excites. 2 weeks later I was in a severe car accident and babys heart beat couldn't be found. I wanted to die, and now I feel blessed every day because my baby survived.

Sorry for the rambling but seriously pregnancy is a friggen rollercoaster mix that with personal fears etc and it can be a disaster. Talk it through so you know why your feeling this way.
And whatever you chose, I wish you the best x

[waterlily]

I'm so sorry your feeling this way :hugs: it is VERY normal to feel this way, u think you should talk to your GP :hugs:

[starbright001]

Thank you to each and every one of your for firstly understanding and secondly, offering productive comments. I means a great deal. Doctor has arranged a free councelling chat with a pregnancy group and said DO NOT STOP or CUT DOWN medication and set myself little goals till I can understand where these negative thoughts are coming from

[3 Little Pigs]

Thank you to each and every one of your for firstly understanding and secondly, offering productive comments. I means a great deal. Doctor has arranged a free councelling chat with a pregnancy group and said DO NOT STOP or CUT DOWN medication and set myself little goals till I can understand where these negative thoughts are coming from


:hugs::hugs: Im glad your GP was supportive.
Setting little goals sounds like a good idea Im going to give it a go as well.

I hope your feeling more yourself very soon :)

[starbright001]

Hi everyone,

Just thought I'd give an update on whats happening. Still feel as confused and sad and angry as I was a few weeks ago. Have kept up my appointments, kept up my tablets but the only thing that was actually making me feel better was knowing I had made an appointment to terminate the pregnancy. I am booked in for Monday morning. I was feeling fine about the termination until last night:freakingout: and now I am freaking out.

I ended up being very bad and shared a joint with my friend last night. I use to smoke regularly (well not 24/7 but would have a joint after work and on weekends) but stopped when TTC. I felt like my normal self again, I could think like I usually think, I had not one ounce of sick feeling, it was like the nausea and sickness which has had me bed ridden instantly left and I actually smiled and laughed and i actually felt excited again to be pregnant. Now I am kicking myself because I havn't felt this good in weeks I have gone and smoked a joint (because I had made the termination appoint and thought well why not ) but now I am not so sure and now worried that if I change my mind over the weekend, have I done some serious damage?

The sickness is starting to hit me again right now and as soon as I vomit I instantly want to not be pregnant but this morning when I woke up I was still quite happy.I'm so bloody confused,:confused::confused::confused: I thought I had this all sorted but clearly I havn't and kicking myself :freakingout::freakingout::freakingout:

[sam's mum]

While having a joint while pregnant is not ideal, it is incredibly unlikely that having done so once is going to cause issues.

I truly recommend getting counselling before terminating. Real counselling, not what they pretend to give you at the clinic. Once you have terminated, you can't take it back, you have to be sure and you really don't sound like you are.

[3 Little Pigs]

I 2nd the counseling.
Still thinking of you :hugs::hugs:

[MissSteph]

I agree with getting some real conselling before terminating.

The first trimester is the hardest in terms of emotions, sickness, feeling tired etc. It generally does get better. Do you think that when your sickness stopped, you were happier about the pregnancy because you weren't hurling multiple times a day? Because you didn't feel bed ridden?

I was lucky enough to have had no morning sickness with both of my pregnancies, but there was 1 week I felt off with my 2nd (never vomitted, but felt absolutely disgustingly ill!) that made me think if I ever had morning sickness it would put me off any future children... In fact, I would NOT have anymore children if I ever had morning sickness. There is no way I would be able to cope with it!

So my point is, if I were in your shoes and had morning sickness I too would feel like Id just want it gone.. So maybe when your sickness stopped it made you happy and realise that having a baby isn't all that bad?

Whatever decision you make, you have to go into it 100% certain with NO feelings of regret. You will always love the children you have and never regret them. But It is rather likely you will regret it at some point in your life if you terminate.

Btw, I'm definitely not for or against terminations. It's all about the person and their situation and most importantly how YOU feel! No body can tell you what to do.

Good luck, and im sure you'll make the right decision whatever it may be :)

[Jess1889]

I don't have much to add that others haven't ready said except for i took Zoloft the entire way through my first pregnancy until 6 weeks post partum and my baby was fine.

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[Mrs J]

i just thought i would let you know, i have been taking zoloft for over 10 years, i have taken it through all my pregnancy's as stopping it would be worse then taking it, i am pregnant with my 4 th baby and i am on 100 mg, so don't worry to much, it is a high category because there has not been alot of research on it so they put it there incase. I hope you can find some answers and your counselling helps, Depression is not a nice thing been there most of my life. Good luck and i hope everything works out for you :hugs:

[ellenmarie]

Have the doctors given you something for the morning sickness? The reason I ask is that I have been having extreme morning sickness and the GP prescribed maxolon for me which helped with the nausea a bit but I started to get very agitated and restless and was blaming everything on the baby and all of a sudden I just wanted it gone and even considered termination.
This baby is much wanted and loved so for me to feel like that was just not right, I didn't realise it at the time but I was having a reaction to the maxolon. I spoke to my doctor on the phone and explained how I was feeling and it was then that she told me it could be a reaction to the medication and apparently it's quite common. I stopped taking the maxolon and within 24 hours was feeling much more like myself and was excited about the pregnancy and the baby again. I also stopped taking my pregnancy vitamin and my morning sickness has greatly reduced, it's still there but I'm not vomiting anymore

[butterflyknot]

Hi everyone,


I ended up being very bad and shared a joint with my friend last night. I use to smoke regularly (well not 24/7 but would have a joint after work and on weekends) but stopped when TTC. I felt like my normal self again, I could think like I usually think, I had not one ounce of sick feeling, it was like the nausea and sickness which has had me bed ridden instantly left and I actually smiled and laughed and i actually felt excited again to be pregnant. Now I am kicking myself because I havn't felt this good in weeks I have gone and smoked a joint (because I had made the termination appoint and thought well why not ) but now I am not so sure and now worried that if I change my mind over the weekend, have I done some serious damage?


I don't think you would have done serious damage with just one :hugs:

My gp (he was being funny) actually told me having one puff a day would cure my ms - I've NEVER smoked anything! lol

A friend did during her whole pregancy to deal with the morning sickness and her baby is 3 and perfect :-)