Hyperemesis and age gap between babies?

[Spoodge]

Hi Ladies

Just wondering those of you who suffered from Hyperemesis, what age gap did you have between your children and how did you cope with looking after them when you were sick (well pregnant) again?

DH and I are discussing at the moment the best age gap, he works away a bit which would leave me on my own with no other support. Last time I was hospitialised twice and spent 2 weeks unable to move, but that was before zofran. On zofran I probably threw up 3-5 times a day up until bub was born.

So it was managable but the first 4 months were nasty :(

Would be interested to hear your opinions.

Spoo

[Ruby Sneakers]

Subscribing as I was the same - it was friggin Awful!

Seriously contemplating only having the one :(

[Spoodge]

Ruby Sneakers - I know, I have never been so sick before :no: But I do want a sibling for my DD, my family keep saying that dont go through it again but I really want a sister or brother for her.

Then again, I remember also lying on the bed loosing all control of my body sobbing to DH that I couldnt do it anymore.... Oh its only 9 months :p

[Opaque]

I had 3.5yr difference. So DS1 was 2 almost 3 when I started the constant spewing.

See your GP - mine gave me zofran as soon as I started spewing & I found it was better because it didn't get to that debilitating stage like with the first before you know how wonderful zofran is.

I also found I coped better mentally because I knew it wouldn't stop at 12wks. With ds1 I spewed for the whole pregnancy, even in labour & after birth until my hcg levels returned to normal. So I knew for me it was going to be the same in any subsequent pregnancies & I wasn't holding out for that "magic" 12wk mark that ms goes away at (for most).

My DS was wonderful with it - he's such a little mother, he'd get me a wet washer to wipe my face, pat my back & yell at daddy for water for mummy. He was truly amazing, but he has always been that way inclined. When i got migraines when he was around 14mths onwards he'd come rub my back while I was hung over the toilet being sick.

[Spoodge]

Thanks opaque for the reply. As u said I guess if we know what we are in for and get the zofran faster that might make it a little easier.... What a caring child u have very cute btw :)

[Two Sweetpeas]

17 months difference. I had my mum help a fair bit when it first hit, and after that zofran worked well enough....I laid on the couch a lot while my son played. I had a great doctor who gave me a prescription for zofran and maxalon at my first appointment (5 weeks) before I was even sick after I told her how sick I was with my first.

[mummajugs]

DD had just turned 2 when mine kicked in... was hell... but she was old enough to help herself to the fridge and cupboard without me having to move too much, she was so sweet, she understood that I was not well and she would pat me on the back and tell me it was alright and that I will be better soon. etc.

I think it was a perfect gap. there is 2 yr 8 months between my kiddies and it is wonderful. DD is old enough to love her brother without trying to poke his eyes out, but young enough not to get too jealous :)

hope this helps and goodluck hun

[Pippy&Woof]

I got pregnant with my second (DS) when my first (DD) was 12 months old, and had him when she was 21 months old. To be honest I don't really know how I coped, as I got no help from DH and had no family nearby. It's sort of a blur now, but now that DS is 14 months and DD is turning 3 soon I really would like to have another baby.

I threw up from start to finish with both pregnancies, and it didn't matter what I did to try and help it. When I was pregnant with DD I didn't take any Zofran (and I'm allergic to Maxalon) because DH was concerned about the unknown long-term effects. So somehow I just got through. But with my second pregnancy and trying to look after a 1 year old child I just had to resort to Zofran, but only very occasionally. See I'm a NICU nurse and DH is s doctor, so we're a bit paranoid about medications and stuff. It's good in some ways, but it would have probably been a lot easier had I taken more Zofran.

My advice is.. Get organised early (I started getting sick a lot quicker second time around), and if u have any offers of help with ur DD or housework etc take it!!! It was a struggle to have my two 21 months apart, and then DS didn't sleep for the first 5 months either! I will definitely be having a little bit more of a gap with our next child (maybe 2.5 years), but I'm still glad I had the first two close (NOW.. wasn't so great being pregnant of course!).

Good luck, it will all be worth it in the end! Awful knowing how sick u'll be though hey =/ I even had gastro when I was 26 weeks pregnant with my second, just to top it off.. on Christmas Day!!

[RmumR]

i didnt have it with DD1 but had it bad when preg with DD2. luckily at 3 (3.4 when bub born) she coped amazingly with different people looking after her.
i quite often didnt make it home from antenatal appointments as theyd decide to admit me on the spot as long as daddy came home she was fine.

we're considering #3 but i will wait till DD2 is closer to 3yrs old

[Justinie]

My DS is nearly 6 and started school this year. This has given me time to be sick all day long without it having so much of an effect on him.
One thing I do know though is that it is actually worse this time around so this will be it for me!!
There is no way I could have been this sick and coped having a little one at home! But we don't have family support where we live so i'd have been doing it alone!
Good luck :) :wave:

[threechooks]

There will be a 3yr 4 month age gap when this one is born. I wouldn't have been able to do them much closer...

[dillydAlly]

I am 9 weeks at the moment and DD is 18months..... I am incredibly lucky that DD has a great bond with her daddy and that he works from home 3 days a week so he looks after her while I struggle on! I know she is watching way more tele than I would like ATM but until this passes (if ever) I just can't play with her! I also have DD at Daycare one day a week so I know she has fun.... I kinda spend all my week gearing up for my 3 days a week work...... I am taking Zofran as well which is kinda helping .....

Hats off to all of us who are strong enuf to suffer through just for the sake of our babies!!!

[megs legs]

My sickness has not been so bad to be hospitalized but I did spend a lot of days hanging over the sink while DS (13months) screamed at
My feet.. I've spent the past 12-13 weeks on the lounge just trying to keep it together. Alergic to maxalon and stemitil, zofran was our only option and cruely it did not work!
Having family near by but unable to help as they all worked etc was really hard.. My mum was a 5 min drive away but I couldn't call her.. My worst thing is changing DS nappies.. I can't go near him when he has a dirty or even a wet one, so first thing in the morning when he'd gone overnight was my worst nightmare! I'd start retching as soon as I opened the door! I'd have to wipe in between running to the sink to chuck. He would absolutely bawl as I ran off and its really hard to stop chucking with a distraght pooey child at your feet!
I'd seriously recommend waiting till your first is two or more.. I am lucky my DH moved to afternoon shift so he has changed every nappy during the day for 5 weeks now. I only panic as he leaves for work and I've got DS on my own again... It's no way to live!
Good luck!

[Spoodge]

Thanks for the responses ladies.... makes me sad we have to go through such horrible pregnancies... Best of luck to those who are pregnant and well done to those who went back the 2nd time knowing what you were in for!

Your comments have made me realise I should wait awhile and by the sound of it if DD was potty trained that might be better (oh megs legs I feel so bad for you).

Im thinking we might hold out til DD is 2 before TTC again... although I am getting older so dont want to wait too long :p

Spoo

[megs legs]

Thanks for the responses ladies.... makes me sad we have to go through such horrible pregnancies... Best of luck to those who are pregnant and well done to those who went back the 2nd time knowing what you were in for!

Your comments have made me realise I should wait awhile and by the sound of it if DD was potty trained that might be better (oh megs legs I feel so bad for you).

Im thinking we might hold out til DD is 2 before TTC again... although I am getting older so dont want to wait too long :p

Spoo

Thanks lovely xx
Waiting till your dd is two sounds like a good plan, though sometimes you just cant explain that to your heart.
Hope everything works out for you! Good luck with Ttc, whenever that will be.

[Auntyamber]

We won't start TTC until our daughter is ATLEAST 3, more likely closer to 4.
But I had HG, a high tear in my waters at 25 weeks and preeclampsia resulting in her being delivered at 35w, so there is no way I could do pregnancy again until I know DD is old enough to cope if mummy is in hospital again (and that mummy would cope without her) she turns 2 in march and as much as I want another baby I'm not willing to risk not being there for DD yet

[Jay87]

Subscribing since I suffered hyperemesis only from 5 weeks to around 15 weeks but it was such a debilitating time.

[TinyLittleTootsies]

I had it really bad with DD1. We fell pregnant accidently with DD2 when we were not planning on having another at all after everything that went wrong with DD1. They are 17.5 months apart. I wasn't as sick the second time around, but I was still very sick all day most days. I could at least walk around throwing up that time, compared to not being able to move with DD1 most days.

I ended up being really happy with the close age gap. Due to her age, DD1 was happily occupied with small things, like painting would take up hours of her fun. Feeding I let her go crazy in her high chair then would give her a bath which could take 1-2 hours lol. So it was easy to be a hermit with DD1 being so young and happy to just have me around. Cons were the times I would be throwing up, unable to move in the morning and I would hear DD start crying and I couldn't get her until my throwing up episode. Those were a few low moments because she was too young to explain to wait until I stop throwing up my bile etc.

I am now 23 weeks with #3. We found out I was pregnant after DD2's 2nd birthday and didn't plan such a big age gap, but it really has been SO much easier. I am even less sick this time around, and I think I stopped feeling constantly sick around 20 weeks. Now I just throw up if I haven't eaten or if something smells bad or if I am tired. Having a 3.5 year old and a 2 year old for the worse bits was much easier than having one 9month to 15 month old for the hard parts. For one, I explained I was ok and Mummy was throwing up because the baby growing can make you feel sick, so after the first few days they would ignore me and keep playing as I threw up. They also had a little compassion most of the time, so if I was throwing up they would wait for me to get them their food for example, until I had finished in the bathroom. (DD1 as a baby would be screaming for her food as I threw up because making it made me feel horrible). A little bit more of an age gap means they could also help themselves to easy things in the fridge that I had set up for them, so I didn't have to constantly go to the kitchen, I would say things like "there is cut up apple in the fridge in the blue container" and I didn't have to watch every single thing they were getting into, because they were past the pulling apart the house stage and happily played with their toys. Which really, left me with a lot of time to be sick in peace, but a really messy house. That's the only part that suffered. DH picked up the slack thankfully.

So I would suggest at least a 2 year gap if you want it to be easier, however I got through worse with the 18 month gap and I really love their close age gap since DD2 was born! Of course, waiting until each baby was school aged would have been easiest, but for me the time goes so fast and I wasn't willing to have a 4-5 year gap when we want 4 kids in total, so at the end of the day, I would suggest having the age gap that your heart wants, because everything else can be worked out.

ps... this time around I bulk cooked meals before I got sick plus had DH bulk cooking meals and then freezing them into small containers. At really sick times, I would just grab them out of the freezer and it was a life saver to only tolerate the kitchen for 5 mins at each meal time, but still be giving my girls and myself good home cooked food. I also made sure I had snacks available that I knew made me feel better, like rice crackers next to my bed and a water bottle to have both asap when I woke up. It doesn't stop the vomiting, but it helped me not to feel like I was dying as I threw up.

[Spoodge]

Hi Ladies, how timely is it that there was some recently comments on this thread... my DD is 2 next month and we are going to try for number 2 in the up coming month (ivf route for us). Im very excited but also just quietly a little anxious knowing what is infront of me if we are lucky enough to get pregnant again. Thanks for your post TinnyLittleTootsies makes me feel a little more comfortable with the age gap.