Any advice??

[Livvyloo]

Hi ladies,

I'm feeling rreally depressed at the moment due to something that's happened today and was wondering if anyone has any words of advice or reassurance.

Many will know already from my previous posts that I am a bit of a worrier, since finally getting my BFP I have been getting my knickers in a knot a little bit about things and worrying about things going wrong. However, I have been trying not to worry and doing much better actually, i was really proud that I haven't been for any more repeat BT's and I've been much more positive about everything..despite my natural tendency towards worrying. I'm 6w4d today and I'm due for my first scan this coming Monday.

However, I just got a call from one of the FN's at my clinic, just a check up call to see how im going and she made me feel SO AWFUL. When I said I dont have many symptoms and i'm not feeling sick really at all she basically made out like there could def be something wrong and that ill just have to wait and see if any heartbeat even shows up at my scan on monday. I was just so deflated. Ive dealt with her before and she knows i'm a worrier so the fact that she said those things has just upset me so much and made me feel like there's definitely something wrong since I'm not throwing up or experiencing heavy symptoms of any kind. It's like she has seen lots of people come through before with minimal symptoms who have miscarriages or babies with no heartbeats and she's trying to prepare me for it. I'm so upset now whereas before I was doing okay.. I just feel like bursting into tears.....

[mysticme]

Oh Livvy......sometimes I wonder where these people in these clinics get their sensitivity from.....or lack of it!!!!!

To be honest....I would take what she has said with the consideration it deserves.....none!

At this stage of your preganacy you may not experience any symptoms at all. You could be one of the lucky ones that dont get sick. Although I bet you wish you were, just so you could say that it was a symptom!

When I was pregnant with my DD I didnt really feel too much at all. To be honest, until I was 12 weeks, I felt pretty normal....the closer I got to 12 weeks I started to feel unwell, but still not out of the normal....then the day I went 12 weeks, I started to :barf: and it continued every day until I was 34 weeks.....

As hard as I know it is.....please just try and not take what she said or the way she spoke to heart.....
I hope that your scan on Monday proves her to be completely wrong and stupid!!!

BIGGEST :hugs: for you right now.

[jfblady72]

what she said is BS!!!!!!!!!!! i had no sore boobs, no sickness, no tiredness none of the usual pg symptoms.......in fact i felt marvelous. i had a strong perfectly normal pg for my DS....seriously in the 3 pg i have had hardly anything symptom wise. i was told by numerous ppl that i was lucky and that it is quite common for some women to get not many symptoms at all. of course the only way to tell for ANYBODY is the ultrasound. whether u worry or not is not going to make any difference to outcome. yep i agree, sometimes they say things without really thinking that we are a supersensitive bunch and take to heart anything being said by them!!

[My3Boyz]

Hi Livvy. First of all take a deep breath and exhale. Congratulations on getting your much wanted BFP :celebrate:

I think that sometimes FS, FN etc can be a little wanting in terms of beside manner and shame on yours for making you feel anxious. I would take what your FN told you with a grain of salt and wait for your scan on Monday. I've read your posts before and from the looks of things your HCG levels are rising very nicely. In terms of symptoms, instead of worrying that you have none, just think of how LUCKY you are to be feeling fine :)

With DS1 at 6 weeks I didn't get any morning sickness, only cramps (which did scare me) and I asked at a preg information night at Sydney IVF if there was something wrong. The nurse coordinator told me how lucky I was that I had no symptoms. I did end up getting a bit of nausea up until 12 weeks and then nothing after that. In fact the whole pregnancy I was feeling really good.

With DS2 I was sick as a dog. Had all day morning sickness and was barfing each and every day, after each and every meal for the first 17 weeks. I spent a lot of my pregnancy feeling really awful.

I guess what I am trying to say is that no 2 pregnancies are alike and the lack of symptoms does not mean that things will go wrong with the pregnancy.

I know that you must be so, so anxious at the moment, but I would just enjoy the knowledge that you have a little one growing inside of you :goodvibes: There is no use worrying until you have proof (hard scientific proof, not the words of a FN in a passing conversation) that something is going to go wrong.

Good luck with your scan on Monday and hoping you see a lovely "blob" with strong heartbeat :babydust1:

[traveler]

My advice is; don't listen to your FN!!!

My ONLY pregnancy symptom when I was pregnant with DS was that I was a happier, much nicer person!!! No morning sickness, no mood swings, no hightened sense of smell, nothing. For some strange reason I was fitter, more active, had more energy, my DH still misses 'pregnant me'. Just put yourself in 'the lucky ones' category.

I know it's hard not to worry though, but as long as AF stays away, then you are perfectly pregnant...CONGRATULATIONS!!

[CazHazKidz]

Oh dear! What a silly woman.

With both my pregnancies, morning sickness didn't kick in till after 7 weeks. I remember thinking both times that a) either something was wrong or b) I was going to be one of the lucky ones who didn't get morning sickness.

Then the 7 week mark hit and I was sick as a dog.

Some don't get it till later, some get it earlier, some don't get it at all. What she said is silly. I know it's impossible not to worry a little bit, but try to relax and look after yourself and your lil one. Not long to wait now till your scan :hugs:

[Livvyloo]

Thanks guys for your advice and thoughts, I've been feeling very glum ever since the call. My DH is really mad because this is not the first time this particular FN has made me feel worse after speaking with her, so he's called the clinic to make a complaint and ask that she not be the one to call me again. It probably sounds silly but going through all this is hard enough without having to have nurses make you feel worse about things and like there's no chance your baby will have a heartbeat.

Caz - I keep thinking that I couldn't possibly be so lucky as to have no morning sickness, I think that's why I've really taken what she said to heart, like there's got to be something wrong if I'm not feeling sick. I'm not a "lucky" personl, so it seems so unlikely that I would luck out and not get m/s on this occasion. However, maybe like you, it will kick in later or something. :hugs:

traveler - that's very funny that you were an all round nicer person when pg! The hormones must do lovely things to your body ;) I do keep trying to figure out whether I've got ANYTHING going on, but really my symptoms are v. limited. Certainly haven't had heightened sense of smell, really only wee a bit more overnight (and that could be due to eating more), boobs are sore but certainly not constantly like other peoples and not agonising either, just mildly tender here and there. It's so frustrating, I've spent all this time trying to get pregnant that I want to FEEL pregnant.

My3boyz - my last hcg test was about 6 days ago and at that point it was almost 20,000, but I haven't had another test since then since this particular FN told me not to come in for any more (even though another nurse had said have as many as you like if it makes you feel better). This nurse also told me that rising levels aren't an indication of a healthy pregnancy or a heartbeat and can only tell you so much, so that's part of the reason why I feel like rising levels don't mean much :( I mean, they were reassuring because they weren't going down, but apparently according to this nurse it doesn't mean a thing. Like you, I have had some cramps over the course of the last couple weeks, but none that were very painful, or anything more than very light AF cramps.. certainly no spottiing or anything to indicate a miscarriage.. but the words "missed miscarriage" keep popping up in my head :(

jfblady - you're right, worrying isnt going to change the outcome, I had resolved that in my head which is why I was trying to be more positive and not dwell and worry so much in the last week, but this nurse has kind of put my right back where i was to start with, making me question everything and wonder if anything is happening at all in there. It's reassuring to know there are people like you that had no symptoms whatsoever but still had healthy pregnancies, my nurse made me think that it was humanly impossible really.

mystic - you're right, i have been wishing for symptoms, just so I could feel reassured that perhaps things are going okay. Unfortunately, it really hasn't happened yet, I've been feeling pretty normal. Little things yes, but nothing really remarkable. It's so hard not to take what the nurse said to heart because I keep thinking.. well she is experienced she must have seen lots of people come through who had little symptoms who had miscarriages/babies without heartbeats etc.. otherwise why would she unnecessarily worry me like this? she must be trying to prepare me or something :(

In terms of "symptoms" all ive really had is the following:
-sore boobs (on and off, not excrutiatingly sore, but noticable, worse overnight, but not constantly and not as much as I would expect.
-boobs a bit bigger (but not a LOT bigger, just a bit. I haven't gone up a cup size or anything, I can still wear my same bras. I'm small chested so it's noticable when they're a tiny bit bigger).
-some intermittant cramping (not sure if this could be bad or not. But it's very mild and only very infrequent but has happened once or twice each week).
-tiredness (but not so much that I'm absolutely falling all over myself wanting to go to sleep all the time, just mild fatigue)
-weeing a BIT more overnight (but im also drinking more, could be related)
-being hungry (could be psychological though, my mind saying hooray you're pregnant you should eat more!)
-in terms of nausea I've had pretty much none.. although ive had a couple of moments where i've felt SLIGHTLY sick.. but it's always only been when im hungry and eating makes me feel better immediately, so dont really think it counts.

I'm 6w4d today.. and that's the bulk of it. :confused:

[blondekelli]

Livvy you really need to calm down and try not to catastrophise everything. Basically any pregnancy has a small chance of not continuing but all your bts so far have shown no indication that anything could be wrong.

If you really need reassurance ask for an early ultrasound. You may have to pay for it yourself but at this stage you would be able to see a heartbeat. But you should know that there is always something to worry about next. So rather than feeding your worry you need to look at ways of calming down. Maybe look into pregnancy yoga or Accupuncture. I'm sure everything will be fine.

[blondekelli]

Sorry I also wanted to mention that your clinic should offer counselling as part of your fees. Maybe you could go see the counsellor who may be able to give you some relaxation techniques? It may help xx

[Livvyloo]

Blondekelli - actually although it may seem like I 'catastrophise' everything because of a few worried posts here, that's not really the case. In fact I'd done a complete 360 and was feeling good and positive and confident until the phone call from the nurse today. It's a bit hard not to start feeling panicky when a nurse basically tells you that the fact that you're not feeling much in the way of symptoms is prob a very bad sign that something is wrong and that you really may not have much chance of a heartbeat at your scan next week. How can I not feel slightly worried after that?? Thanks for the advice re counselling... I have actually seen a counsellor at my clinic but to be honest right now, with the amount of time I've had off work to have IVF it's not really feasible for me to have any more mornings/afternoons off to have counselling on top of that. I actually had an appointment tomorrow to go but have unfortunately had to cancel it due to the amount of work I have on. Thems the breaks I guess.

[jess_live_die]

:hugs::hugs: everyone is different every pregnancy is i had NOTHING when i was pregnant with dd1 infact up until i was 7.5 months i had no belly i had this tiny little blob that poped out

with dd2 i had nothing again no sore boobs no tiredness no morning sickness smells were fine no cravings at 1st

but then with ds ewww dnt even get me started on him

so breathe and things are gonna be fine

[Livvyloo]

Thanks jess, i hope in this instance it's nothing to be worried about and I'm just among the fortunate few who aren't overwhelmed with symptoms early on, it's hard not knowing what to expect never having been pg before.. and so many people here speak of many many early symptoms that it makes you feel a bit like a freak if you DONT have them. :(

[OurLittleBlessing]

Wow, you would think that someone who works for a Fertility Specialist, of all people, would have a better understanding of early pregnancy.

I had know lots of people that, if they hadn't missed a period, wouldn't have even known they were pregnant.

Try not to let her ignorance upset you sweetheart.

I am sure everything is still just fine.

Be careful what you wish for (pregnancy symptoms I mean) lol!

[mlks]

hey livvy, I guess I am like you, only you voice it.... I only have very mild symptoms... I just went 8w1d today....
I am HUNGRY all the time.. I mean stomach growling need to eat NOW type of hungry and thats about 2hours after i ate....
boobies arent sore anymore... havent had nipple tenderness, no MS except feeling icky... but I am getting in before anything happens and having a ginger tea in the mornings and eating alot....
I have another scan on friday so 8w4d... :fingerscrossed: everything is ok

I am nervous too, but until you have the scan, think yourself lucky, I am...

xxmel

[Backflip]

Blondekelli - actually although it may seem like I 'catastrophise' everything because of a few worried posts here, that's not really the case. In fact I'd done a complete 360 and was feeling good and positive and confident until the phone call from the nurse today. It's a bit hard not to start feeling panicky when a nurse basically tells you that the fact that you're not feeling much in the way of symptoms is prob a very bad sign that something is wrong and that you really may not have much chance of a heartbeat at your scan next week. How can I not feel slightly worried after that?? Thanks for the advice re counselling... I have actually seen a counsellor at my clinic but to be honest right now, with the amount of time I've had off work to have IVF it's not really feasible for me to have any more mornings/afternoons off to have counselling on top of that. I actually had an appointment tomorrow to go but have unfortunately had to cancel it due to the amount of work I have on. Thems the breaks I guess.


If that is what the nurse told you, I would be making a complaint. I can't believe that a nurse would actually say that, so I would be getting on to the head nurse and having a word about her patient manerism. :(

[Livvyloo]

Backflip - in fact my DH actually rang the clinic and spoke to the nurses manager this afternoon and did exactly that. She thanked him profusely for letting her know about it and said she would talk to the nurse in question. My hubby conceded perhaps the nurse didn't even realise how awful and negative she was being (although I find that hard to believe since this is the third occasion it's happened with this one person), whilst I feel bad about potentially getting someone reprimanded, I started the phone call feeling positive and left it on the verge of tears and that's not right.

mlks - i've found myself more hungry lately too, but i keep thinking maybe it's psychological lol and im just not mentally telling myself to stop being hungry anymore because of the possible extra on board. ;) Really though it's very daunting not being overrun with symptoms, all the literature Ive got suggests that it can be normal not to have symptoms but also says most people do get quite a few of them. I'd like at least one concrete symptom that I could hold on to to make me feel a bit more confident i think! The only time I've ever felt sick has been on waking up before breakfast, and as soon as I eat I feel fine again. That's as close as I've come to m/s and that's only been in the last 2 days.. I think it might not even BE m/s but maybe just being hungry?? Im hoping I am one of the 'lucky' ones, but right now a bit of reassurance from a nasty vomit would probably make me feel luckier to be honest lol. Fingers crossd for your second scan, my first is 6 days away.

Ourlittleblessing - i agree, i expected fertility clinic staff to be particularly sensitive, and i think that's why this got me so upset.. because I figured she must be REALLY worried that something is wrong if she's being that blunt about it. Even though many have said they had little to no symptoms and everything was fine, i'd be lying if i said i wasn't still a little scared about it all :( it does sound crazy to wish for symptoms, but right now it would be just a little bit reassuring to "feel" pregnant in some way other than slightly sore boobs on and off!

[summastarlet]

Livvy-sending you lots of :hugs: :hugs: That nurse sounds awful!! She had no right to make you worry or doubt your symptoms. People working within IVF/fertility really should have more tact.

I am not feeling very pregnant either so perhaps we will just be late bloomers with morning sickness! :confused: It's freaking me out too as you know my scan isn't until the 3rd June. I am tempted to go to my GP and ask for more bloods to be done. Could you do this instead of going to your clinic and dealing with the awful nurse??

I am hoping that all is ok for both of us and our little ones are sticking in tight. :fingerscrossed:

[Sonja]

Livvy people will make thoughtless and harmful comments the entire way through your pregnancy. While I agree the nurse's comments were thoughtless and heartless, and i understand your response to them given she's a professional, I do think Blondekellie makes a good point that you could look at finding ways to destress when comments like these are made. Because once you're pregnant it's like the whole world has an opinion (you're too big, too small, not carrying correctly, not eating properly etc) and you need to be able to cope. I still remember vividly when I told my boss that I had no pregnancy symptoms at all her telling me that's how she knew she was miscarrying. WTF?? I'd had recurrent episodes of bleeding in that pregnancy which she knew about and had had a nightmare conceiving. Her comment was not helpful, particularly as we were about to give a presentation to industry. I just had to put it aside and not think about it.

it's your pregnancy to enjoy and no one else's. Your DH has done the right thing by complaining. I hope you can soon start to enjoy this pregnancy once again.

Sonja

[smileygirl]

Livvy....so glad you have your BFP...and i found the time after the BFP - scan very stressful too.

One of my friends had finished IVF and sent me all her pregnancy pee sticks...i wee'd on one every morning and it made me feel better.

I found it hard to give up the wee'ing on a stick...sort of became an issue in itself lol

I would think it is normal for us IVF girls to be more anxious in the waiting times...and i think that nurse was really insensitive for what she said. I am glad your DH has said that she is not to call again.

I had no symptoms till well after 7-8 weeks...then i was happy to be sick lol

Hang in there....find something to reduce the stress a little each day...even it if means repeat bloods...give you something to tide you over the weekend.

The wait to hold bubba in your arms feels so long...but soon your lil one will be snuggling into your arms :goodvibes:

[Livvyloo]

Summa - thanks for the hugs and the advice babe. Much appreciated. Nice to know that someone with a similar due date is feeling kinda the same as me and that not EVERYONE is running the gammut of symptoms. I did think of having another BT, either at my clinic or at an unrelated doctor, but now that I'm only 6 days until my scan I think I'll just wait it out, it's not ideal and I'm sure that I'll struggle over the coming days a little bit just because it's in my nature to worry, I guess I need to get used to not always having reassurance or a quick answer as to what's going on in there. I'm gonna try and keep the faith and fingers crossed we both have some good news very very soon.

Sonja - thanks for your thoughts. I do agree that I need to learn to cope with comments made about my pregnancy and also to learn to enjoy it along the way. However I do think there's a bit of a difference potentially having one of my colleagues/friends/family members giving me their (accurate or otherwise) two cents on my pregnancy (if/when it continues) at some stage along the line, than a qualified professional who works in the fertility industry giving me a doomsday warning that things may not be right based on the fact that I don't have as many symptoms as other people.. a warning that could potentially simply have unnecessarily upset me and caused me stress. I appreciate the fact that I'm a particularly sensitive person, but that said, I do expect more of medical professionals, and hey.. maybe she's right to warn me, maybe I'll get there on Monday and all her negative predictions will have been correct, but evenso, what happened today has only left me feeling more upset and worried than ever before, and that can't be helpful in any way, whatever the outcome. I use this place as a sounding board for peoples opinions, so if I seem particularly stressy here, it's only because I have no one else to ask these questions of and vent my feelings to as we're not sharing our pregnancy news until making it to 12 wks. I guess I should realise that people aren't always going to want to hear it and there's not always going to be an endless ream of reassurance from people either online or off. It is awful what your boss said to you during your pregnancy, just wrong, and I think you're right, so many women probably have to deal with people being thoughtless and insensitive right throughout their pregnancies, and I'm sure I'll come across it a lot more if my pregnancy continues. Perhaps I'll get a thicker skin along the way.. but I guess after 16 months of TTC, 4 expensive and emotionally taxing ivf attempts and an early miscarriage.. I may be slightly more paranoid than I otherwise would have been.

[Livvyloo]

Livvy....so glad you have your BFP...and i found the time after the BFP - scan very stressful too.

One of my friends had finished IVF and sent me all her pregnancy pee sticks...i wee'd on one every morning and it made me feel better.

I found it hard to give up the wee'ing on a stick...sort of became an issue in itself lol

I would think it is normal for us IVF girls to be more anxious in the waiting times...and i think that nurse was really insensitive for what she said. I am glad your DH has said that she is not to call again.

I had no symptoms till well after 7-8 weeks...then i was happy to be sick lol

Hang in there....find something to reduce the stress a little each day...even it if means repeat bloods...give you something to tide you over the weekend.

The wait to hold bubba in your arms feels so long...but soon your lil one will be snuggling into your arms :goodvibes:

Thanks so much hunny, I really appreciate your kind words and advice. Sometimes I feel like maybe I'm just a freak of nature and I'm just worry worry worry stress stress stress, but I honestly don't think I'd be like this if it weren't for having to go through IVF to get pregnant in the first place. It heightens your knowledge of all the systems and processes and all the things that are supposed to happen along the way. Sometimes I feel like I know too much and would love to be blissfully ignorant about the whole pregnancy process. In any case, I suppose symptoms could still come...perhaps I'll be like you and start having more noticable symptoms at like 7-8 wks! For some reason I just expected something more by now!

[summastarlet]

Summa - thanks for the hugs and the advice babe. Much appreciated. Nice to know that someone with a similar due date is feeling kinda the same as me and that not EVERYONE is running the gammut of symptoms. I did think of having another BT, either at my clinic or at an unrelated doctor, but now that I'm only 6 days until my scan I think I'll just wait it out, it's not ideal and I'm sure that I'll struggle over the coming days a little bit just because it's in my nature to worry, I guess I need to get used to not always having reassurance or a quick answer as to what's going on in there. I'm gonna try and keep the faith and fingers crossed we both have some good news very very soon.
.

Well we are all here to help you through the next 6 days!!! :yes:

[Sonja]

Livvy sorry if you didn't think i was being reassuring. It wasn't my intention to upset you at all. I'd hoped you know from my replies to your other thread about no pregnancy symptoms that my intentions were not to hurt you. I was I guess just seconding Kel's view that counselling might really help and share some experiences so you'd know you're not alone.

[confusd]

I know im not an IVF lady and im crashing your section.
But i didnt have ANY symptoms of pregnancy :no:
I didnt feel sick at anytime, didnt have heart burn, I didnt find out i was pregnant till i was about 11 weeks because i still had my "period" (or what i thought was my period). I was tired but i worked 12 hours shifts so was always tired. The only reason i went to the doctors was because i was feeling a bit constipated :laughing: . I wasnt sick, i just felt a bit funny.
I know she may be preparing you "for the worst" but i find it a bit nasty that she just assumes everyone gets sick during their pregnancy!

[angeleish]

I'm sorry that your FN has shattered your confidence when you were doing so well.

As I mentioned in your previous thread I had absolutely no symptoms in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy with DS.... in fact I never really felt pregnant until I could feel him and when I finally popped! Your nurse had no right to make you worry over having no symptoms.

While women who suffer from MS really struggle, sometimes not having any MS can really be difficult too.

As others have mentioned, your BT levels are awesome and it isn't long until your scan now. I hope seeing a beautiful heartbeat can bring you some much needed (and much deserved) peace of mind.

Hang in there....

[EarthAngel75]

First off my sister still had all the usual pg symptoms and when she had an early scan (at my persistence as she had had a previous mc there was no hb. She decided not to have a d/c and let nature take it's course which took 5w all of which she still had all the pg symptoms.

I don't think having all the symptoms is a certainly for a live baby and on the reverse I dont think lack if symptoms means a bad ending.

I do have to agree with some of the other posters though in that it seems you need to find some good coping mechanisms when you're faced with such comments as you are likely to face upsetting comments in pg from drs midwives nurses etc.

[Livvyloo]

Livvy sorry if you didn't think i was being reassuring. It wasn't my intention to upset you at all. I'd hoped you know from my replies to your other thread about no pregnancy symptoms that my intentions were not to hurt you. I was I guess just seconding Kel's view that counselling might really help and share some experiences so you'd know you're not alone.

Oh goodness Sonja, no no no, you didn't upset me at all, please don't think that. I guess I was just trying to get across that I'm not like a big wreck of a person who can't handle day to day life, is freaking out left right and centre and is worrying about every single tiny thing that happens or that someone says. I am a pretty well balanced person, I just think that IVF has knocked around my confidence and has made me second guess everything!! I have had some counselling already and I would be having more it's just I can't afford any extra time off work :(

[Livvyloo]

confusd - thanks for crashing the IVF thread and giving your experience :) That's amazing that you didn't find out til 11 wks and only because of a bit of constipation, and to still get what you thought were periods, wow - that's gotta be reasonably rare! I guess you're living proof that the stories are true, it really can happen like that ;) hehe

angel - I think that's what's frustrated me most, that I was feeling a lot better about things and more confident and positive, and then the call today that I wasn't even expecting, just to "check up" on me, ended up making me come crashing back down to earth again and like something could be really wrong. It's annoying when you go to so much effort to make yourself feel better and behave more positively and then someone brings you down, particularly someone who works in the industry and should know better than to send people into a flat spin of worry. She also is a nurse who has had a bit to do with me and knows I'm a worrier, so I'm a bit disappointed I guess that in the last few calls she's been so negative. She told me in my TWW that my progesterone "wasn't that high", and another nurse ended up telling me it was actually "sky high" at 400 and then a few short days later 700! She also told me my HCG levels rising meant absolutely nothing and were (at the time) 'around 19,000' and another nurse later told me they were great, rising beautifully (and that WAS a good sign) and the level was actually almost 20,000 (10,000 is bit of a difference there when you're calculating doubling time), and then this today about how I might find no HB on monday cos of my lack of symptoms.. I just feel like every time I talk to her she's a real downer and almost doesn't want me to do anything but worry. Thanks again for your reassurance, it's much appreciated :)

Earthangel - thanks for sharing your sisters experience. It's amazing how different it is for everyone, I guess you really can't rely on symptoms to mean anything signifcant really. As for coping mechanisms, well I'm doing everything that I can, Ive seen a counsellor, I do meditation, and my DH is a great source of comfort to me, but given that I have a reasonably demanding job there's only so much time I can take off for appointments, and after going through IVF and having lots of time off for egg pick ups and transfers and scans and blood tests and counselling sessions.. it's started to become a bit tricky to find a way to make the time to do it. I'm doing my best I guess, and I really don't think I'm as much of a basket case as it seems like people think I am.

I have to be honest though, I really don't think that being upset over a nurse suggesting that the baby you've hoped, wished, prayed and longed for for a long time, and struggled to actually conceive, may not have a heartbeat simply because you're not very symptomatic, is something unreasonable to get upset about.. I don't really think it says a lot about my coping mechanisms (or lack thereof) that this upset me, I think that most expectant mothers who have experienced IVF/miscarriages.. or even none of those things.. would be moderately upset by a professional suggesting it may be over before it's even begun. I think it's kinda normal...

[mysticme]

confusd - thanks for crashing the IVF thread and giving your experience :) That's amazing that you didn't find out til 11 wks and only because of a bit of constipation, and to still get what you thought were periods, wow - that's gotta be reasonably rare! I guess you're living proof that the stories are true, it really can happen like that ;) hehe

angel - I think that's what's frustrated me most, that I was feeling a lot better about things and more confident and positive, and then the call today that I wasn't even expecting, just to "check up" on me, ended up making me come crashing back down to earth again and like something could be really wrong. It's annoying when you go to so much effort to make yourself feel better and behave more positively and then someone brings you down, particularly someone who works in the industry and should know better than to send people into a flat spin of worry. She also is a nurse who has had a bit to do with me and knows I'm a worrier, so I'm a bit disappointed I guess that in the last few calls she's been so negative. She told me in my TWW that my progesterone "wasn't that high", and another nurse ended up telling me it was actually "sky high" at 400 and then a few short days later 700! She also told me my HCG levels rising meant absolutely nothing and were (at the time) 'around 19,000' and another nurse later told me they were great, rising beautifully (and that WAS a good sign) and the level was actually almost 20,000 (10,000 is bit of a difference there when you're calculating doubling time), and then this today about how I might find no HB on monday cos of my lack of symptoms.. I just feel like every time I talk to her she's a real downer and almost doesn't want me to do anything but worry. Thanks again for your reassurance, it's much appreciated :)

Earthangel - thanks for sharing your sisters experience. It's amazing how different it is for everyone, I guess you really can't rely on symptoms to mean anything signifcant really. As for coping mechanisms, well I'm doing everything that I can, Ive seen a counsellor, I do meditation, and my DH is a great source of comfort to me, but given that I have a reasonably demanding job there's only so much time I can take off for appointments, and after going through IVF and having lots of time off for egg pick ups and transfers and scans and blood tests and counselling sessions.. it's started to become a bit tricky to find a way to make the time to do it. I'm doing my best I guess, and I really don't think I'm as much of a basket case as it seems like people think I am.

I have to be honest though, I really don't think that being upset over a nurse suggesting that the baby you've hoped, wished, prayed and longed for for a long time, and struggled to actually conceive, may not have a heartbeat simply because you're not very symptomatic, is something unreasonable to get upset about.. I don't really think it says a lot about my coping mechanisms (or lack thereof) that this upset me, I think that most expectant mothers who have experienced IVF/miscarriages.. or even none of those things.. would be moderately upset by a professional suggesting it may be over before it's even begun. I think it's kinda normal...

I totally agree with your statement about your feelings with how this nurse treated you.
I had booked in with a certain FS in Perth and on two occasions I was phoned by their "councillor" to discuss my weight. Yes I am a big person, but rather than calling me and telling me i won't get treated unless I loose weigh, then calling a week later to see if I had lost weight and telling me that I was not putting in 100%. Because if I was I would have lost weight.
Needless to say, I did not go to that clinic!!!
I cancelled and went to a different FS in a different practice.

[waitinghoping]

Livvy - Good on your DH for saying something, yes possibly the nurse didnt realise how negative she was sounding but she still should watch what she says, the early days are so stressful for anyone let alone after going through IVF. I didnt have any symptoms early on then the M/S struck at about 8 weeks. Feel free to pop in to our Adelaide IVF Bumps and Babies thread if you like, I know LadySchnitzel (Im sure she wont mind me mentioning her in here) never had any symptoms and her little boy was an IVF bubba too and is a perfectly healthy 6 month old now!:D

[LadySchnitzel]

Livvy.......WaitingHoping is right......I had ZERO symptoms right through pregnancy. No sore boobs, no morning sickness, nothing! The only thing/s i got through my pregnancy was an aversion to green foods - broccoli, lettuce, spinach - YUCK! I even gagged when i looked at them! especially spinach! I didn't even get any kicking in the ribs like everyone does. I didn't get any dancing on my bladder. All i got was a extremely healthy pregnancy with no sickness, no sore boobs, and i got the baby at the end!
It sucks what the FN said to you! how rude! Dont listen to them and go with what your body tells you!! Hang in there! Happy to chat more if you need! (i'm an adelaidian too!).

[meatpopsicle]

In terms of "symptoms" all ive really had is the following:
-sore boobs (on and off, not excrutiatingly sore, but noticable, worse overnight, but not constantly and not as much as I would expect.
-boobs a bit bigger (but not a LOT bigger, just a bit. I haven't gone up a cup size or anything, I can still wear my same bras. I'm small chested so it's noticable when they're a tiny bit bigger).
-some intermittant cramping (not sure if this could be bad or not. But it's very mild and only very infrequent but has happened once or twice each week).
-tiredness (but not so much that I'm absolutely falling all over myself wanting to go to sleep all the time, just mild fatigue)
-weeing a BIT more overnight (but im also drinking more, could be related)
-being hungry (could be psychological though, my mind saying hooray you're pregnant you should eat more!)
-in terms of nausea I've had pretty much none.. although ive had a couple of moments where i've felt SLIGHTLY sick.. but it's always only been when im hungry and eating makes me feel better immediately, so dont really think it counts.

I'm 6w4d today.. and that's the bulk of it. :confused:

I just wanted to say... SNAP

My pregnancy was just like this and I worried too (had a m/c previously). I never really got morning sickness, although I did develop other symptoms as the pregnancy went on. And my beautiful daughter is now 3 months old.

Please try not to worry... I know it's easier said than done, but try to enjoy your pregnancy :)

eta: eeek, sorry, didn't realise this was in the IVF section. Sorry for butting in!

[Etienne]

Livvy I'm also crashing the IVF thread just to offer again another person had no symptoms til atleast 7/8 weeks. And my main symptom was just needing the loo more.
It's not rare Hun it's just as common as people getting symptoms IMO!
And then I started getting severe nausea and other symptoms that dissappeared one day out of the blue and then that led me to beleive I'd had a missed misscarraige! Pregnancy is never predictable I've learnt. I'm now almost 15 weeks and I've had a severe car accident last week...and baby is still sticking around!
By the sounds of your levels your baby is growing and most likely sitting nicely in your belly and this won't be the first time you'll worry.
That nurse was out if line too btw I don't think your upset for nothing.
Try relax and look after yourself x

[lissyloulou]

hi livvy,
just wanted to let you know i've posted further details about my situation right now in other threads you're on - but basically all these symptoms i've been having have been for AF. so please don't worry about the no symptoms thing, i'm starting to think for someone like me NO symptoms would be a better result:rolleyes:
i'm sorry if me going on about all my symptoms caused you to doubt yourself, and as you can see it was all a false alarm for me anyway as AF is slowly showing.
All the best livvy, you are very pregnant and i hope you can begin to enjoy it again soon. BTW i'm so happy your DH took the bull by the horns so to speak and called the clinic, you deserve to be treated so much better than that.
lis xo

[Livvyloo]

lissylou - oh dear, I haven't been into any of the other threads yet, so so so sorry to read that AF is coming on for you babe, even after that HPT?! I'm really shocked! Are you sure it's not just some spotting? Could be a stupid question as I haven't read your other posts but I really hope that it's not AF. Oh and you NEVER ever made me feel bad hunny so don't even think it!!! :hugs:

melnmar - thanks for sharing your experience, i do keep wondering if perhaps itll just hit me late or something. I'm 6wks 5 days today, so it could happen in the 7th week maybe? Or maybe never at all! Who knows! Disappearing symptoms is awffffullll, i always hate it when my boobs feel less sore (which they do frequently) cos it makes me paranoid (moreso lol). Really sorry to hear about your car accident but very glad to hear that your little bubba's still okay in there!!! Oh and thank you for saying you don't think I'm upset over nothing :)

meatpopsicle - lol don't apologise for posting in an IVF thread, all are welcome :) Good to hear someone else has had similar "symptoms" as me and ended up with a healthy bubba, really hope it's the same in my case!!!

LadySchnitzel - thanks so much for your post, it really did take some of the fuel out of my worry. I can't say it's all gone (but I guess that's just me!) but it is a relief to know that there are real live people (not just mythical women/a friend of a friend etc hehe) who had NO sytmpoms and still ended up healthy and pregnant and with a happy bubba at the end of it. And an Adelaide girl too! :) One of the reasons I get so daunted I guess is cos I have books like What to expect when you're expecting and Up the Duff, and whilst theyre great resources, they also list a myriad of symptoms and suggest when you might feel them, and it highlights to me what I'm not feeling. I also notice in the due date threads everyone seems to be feeling all these things (particularly morning sickness) and I feel like the freak who feels relatively normal. It's tricky!

waitinghoping - thanks for your post and for luring ladyschnitzel in here to post too :) it's lovely to hear from other adelaide girls with similar experiences. You never know, I suppose I could just be a late bloomer and perhaps m/s will eventually start for me. If M/S is caused my high hcg though maybe it never will happen for me, my hcg was nearly 20,000 at 5wks 5 days (my last hcg BT) and i imagine if I was gonna feel it it may have reared its head by then! WHO knows!!! I do stand by my convictions that the nurse was rude though, agree she possibly doesn't realise how negative she sounds, but maybe she'll think about it a bit more in future with other women. I just hope her doomsday prophesising doesn't come true on Monday at my scan!!!

mystic - oh that's AWFUL i'm so glad you didn't go with that FS and found another one. It's not worth being made to feel like cr*p it's really not! Thanks for being able to see my point about why i was upset too :)

[LadySchnitzel]

Livvy.....wow that's a high hcg!! You might have twinnies!! I'm such a worry wary like you and I think I finally gave up on expecting any symptoms at about halfway. Just wasn't meant to get any I suppose! All I wanted was the m/s and I guess we all can't have everything! Lol. Just remember I had absolutely nothing and now I have everything in my perfect little boy.......most days! :P

[Livvyloo]

LadySchnitz - yeah I'm never sure whether that's high hcg or not - the betabase website has been down so I haven't had anything to check it next to! I did have a double transfer so it could be twins you never know! I'd be more than happy with one healthy little bubba with a nice strong heartbeat though :) hehe, I wonder if i"ll be like you, each week waiting for a symptom to arrive and just getting no love each week! I remember saying im sure by 6 weeks ill have something, and now im saying to myself 7 weeks it'll kick in i'm sure.. lol. I'm happy to have no symptoms if it's not an indicator that's somethings wrong, it's only the notion that there could be a problem that's causing lack of symptoms that worries me. That and the fact that after all this IVF and wanting to be pregnant for so long, I'd actually like to FEEL pregnant!!!!!!!

[happy dance]

Livvyloo, YOU ARE PREGNANT and nothing is going to change that. Your will see a (or maybe two) heart beats on Monday.

People often say things without thinking and dont realise how a particular comment can affect us so much. Personally I think the nurses comment was very unprofessional and I would find that upsetting. BUT you have to get over it.

Enjoy the experience of being pregnant. I found it very difficult to celebrate my first pregnancy. My first scan felt more like an out of body experience. Looking back I dont think I fully accepted I was pregnant even after bub was born, because I was alway fearful it would be taken away from me.

So if you can change your mindset now then you will have the most celebrated pregnancy and best memories to look back on.

[Livvyloo]

happy dance - well i think i pretty much got over it after DH called and made the complaint to be honest, I did think about it a little bit last night, but it's sort of a distant memory today. I stand by the fact that it was appalling coming from a nurse at a fertility clinic but i'm not hung up on it - the complaint has been made, we've done all we can ;). I'm just hoping that I have some happy news on monday to celebrate! I think perhaps that's when itll sink in that it might just be real, and perhaps then i can spend some time enjoying it :)

[bellalika]

I'm glad your feeling better today. And congratulations on your BFP.


Sorry, I'm iPhone-lexic

[Livvyloo]

Well you won't believe it guys but I had my first scan today and not only am I officially definitely pregnant.. but I'M HAVING TWINS!!!!!!!

lol... crazy!!

[krystallxx]

Congrats !!!! How awesome. All the best with ur pregnancy !

[Livvyloo]

Thanks ;) at least this should give hope to women with minimal symptoms everywhere hehe

[katybobady]

So happy for you livvy!! Congrats xxx

[moomechanic]

:cheerleader1::cheerleader2: Yay!!! Congrats Livy Twins!!! How exciting!!!:smiliedance::hugs:

[mysticme]

OH My freaking lord.......that is amazing, fabulous, stick it up that nurses *** great news!!!!
:smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance: :smiliedance:
:celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate: :celebrate:
I swear it could not have happened to a nicer person!!!!!
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!

[smileygirl]

omg omg YAY!

Congrat's Livvy, i am so happy for you...this has given me such a big smile and i really needed a pick me up :-)
:celebrate::celebrate::celebrate:

[V8]

Oh wow amazing news!! Congrats on expecting twins :) :smiliedance:

[~*clairesmum*~]

Congrats hun on the news of twins

[Livvyloo]

Oh thanks so much to all you beautiful ladies, I'm shocked amazed excited and just.. in disbelief! But so so happy :)

smiley - i'm so glad this news could perk you up when you were having a down day :)

mystic - yeah.. so funny re the nurse hey.. not only did i have one baby in there with a lovely heartbeat, I had two!! :cheerleader1::cheerleader2:Thanks so much for your congratulations hunny :)

[waitinghoping]

Congrats Livvy awesome news!!! :cheerleader2::cheerleader1:

[blondekelli]

Wow. Great news Livvy! Congrats to you and your DH. I knew everything would be ok x

[ladymoz]

Congrats Livvy :celebrate:
Twins... WOOT WOOT me too :cheerleader2::cheerleader1: I didn't have many symptoms either so it just shows everyone is different. Enjoy being on :cloud9:

[kiwigemini]

I've been following your threads Livvy and I'm SO happy to hear your good news!!!:cheerleader2::cheerleader1:
Feel free to come and join our Adelaide IVF, pregnancy and babies thread.
Congratulations again.:highfive:

[LadySchnitzel]

Congratulations livvy! Fantastic news! See....you just needed to trust in those of us who had no symptoms!! I had a feeling there was more than 1! Enjoy the pregnancy and being on cloud 9!
Kiwi is right...come join our Adelaide thread! :)

[cobbec]

Woo hoo congrats on the twins Livvy... so glad all is good :)

[Livvyloo]

Thanks cobbec, ladyschnitz, kiwi and ladymoz! :) it's pretty awesome news, daunting to have two on the way, but we'll manage and we'll love them to bits!

I'll look out for the adelaide post ladyschnitz and kiwi and join in :)

[angeleish]

Massive massive congratulations!!!!! Wow!!!!! :cheerleader2::cheerleader1:

You must be happy beyond belief!!! Glad I popped my head back in this thread.

Congratulations and I wish you all the best for a very healthy and happy pregnancy. :goodvibes:

[HaileesMummy]

Wow. I've seen your previous posts and saw this and just wanted to say WOW! CONGRATULATIONS SWEETIE!!!!!! xoxo

[Livvyloo]

Thanks guys :) we are stoked :) daunted as you can imagine, you never really EXPECT twins, but thrilled nonetheless. It was obviously meant to be this way :) HOORAY!!!!!!!!!

[hunnybunny]

Congratulations Livvyloo!!! :smiliedance:

[Jay11]

Well you won't believe it guys but I had my first scan today and not only am I officially definitely pregnant.. but I'M HAVING TWINS!!!!!!!

lol... crazy!!

Hey Livvyloo, sorry to have not said congrats earlier but I have kind of had time out :)
Congratulations X2!!
I am so so happy to hear your wonderful news!
Thankyou for all your advice and best wishes! Hugs

[Livvyloo]

Hey Livvyloo, sorry to have not said congrats earlier but I have kind of had time out :)
Congratulations X2!!
I am so so happy to hear your wonderful news!
Thankyou for all your advice and best wishes! Hugs

Oh that's lovely of you to pop back in after your time out to say congratulations. Thank you :) :hugs: