Should we go again ?

[bb]

A small problem ...

My husband and I have been blessed with an IVF baby ... Hamish was born in April this year (and is basically 5 months old)

Question: Should we start trying to have another now ?

This may sound like a stupid question, but we have so many reasons to start now ... and just as many reasons to wait.

On the "start now" side ... I am 35 years old, and will be 36 in May next year. We spoke to our IVF doctor about timing, and he seemed to think that we were well advised to start sooner rather than later.

On the "wait" side ... we are about to start building a house, and will be moving in about 8-9 months from now. Since I am still on maternity leave (only for another three weeks) we have no money ... and the good ol' dollar is so important for IVF.

I think that's about it ... any pearls of wisdom for me/us ??

BB

[Mumof3Princesses]

I agree with O's Mom.

Money has a way of working out in the end. But the old biological clock only ticks on for a certain period of time before it stops. You wouldn't want to have regrets later in life over not trying for a second child because of money.

The decision is entirely yours, but if your doctor advises sooner rather than later, you should seriously take that into consideration.

Good luck with what ever path you choose. :)

[maybe1more]

I say GO for it now! Also judging by satistics the second time around is easier to fall pregant due to the pregancy hormone still in your system for up to 6 months after having a baby, im not sure if its the same due to ivf but its definatly worth a go. Dont worry about the money side of thing, it always works out! A mother on this forum has 4 children and its trying for her 5th and has only one income.Good luck on your disicion

[claire&declan]

Hi there, my name is claire and I too have a beautiful ivf baby who is now 2 yr old. I am also 5 mths along with #2 (ivf also). After our son was born I thought I had decided that if our 2 embryos didn't work out when we tried with them that I would just be greatful that I was blessed with one. I had the same thoughts as yourself, we would be able to afford to try another full cycle. well our 2 embryos didn't even survive the thaw process so I gave up on the basis that we don't earn a huge wage and it was quite a struggle first time round with 2 full time jobs. Well another 6 mths down the track and I dearly wanted a buddy for my son. Isn't it funny how you always survive on what you earn, we now still have 1 fulltime income and 1 casual income and we managed to go through the whole thing again. you always manage to live on what you've got, not what you think you should have. The new Medicare threshold is a blessing now, our expenses this time round have been much better. Good luck with whatever your decision is. Have a great day. Claire :o :) :o

[bb]

It is always a pleasure to check in on a question I have written, to find a string of helpful and considerate responses.

Thank you so much to all who have responded ! I know what you mean about the money thing ... whilst it does not grow on trees, I never expected we could survive on one wage for 6 months, yet here we are, 6 months later, and still alive and kicking !

I think we have decided to try now(ish). I am a school teacher, and am returning to work in term 4 this year (10th October). This sort of means that October and November are out for us, but it should be all systems "GO" in December ! God bless the school holidays - nice, relaxing holidays !!

Will keep BubHub posted with any developments (hopefully) !

BB

[petster]

Hi BB

I'm 34 and my DD is 6 months old, conceived through IVF. We are having our first FET next week, cross fingers, trying for #2! I am a little biased about the "Should we have another?" question - we obviously decided to go for it!! It's a tough one... I remember at my 6 week check, my Ob was asking when we were thinking of TTC #2 - I was thinking "You have got to be joking!" Now I feel like time is ticking away somewhat... And really, what IS a good gap between children? I think all age gaps have their pros and cons - people just seem to manage...
I'm glad you've come to a decision - good luck with it and keep us posted...

Cheers!

[Suzzana]

hi, hope i don't sound naive, but what were some of the reasons for you all to consider IVF? did they relate to yor partners sperm count, ovary problems, age or sexual problems? im very curious

[parismum]

Hi Curious,

I've conceived a little girl named Paris using IVF because my husbands sperm motility was low [caused by kick to the groin in sports -not on purpose of course ;) ]. My daughter is only 5 months old. We are considering another real soon though because of my c-section have to wait at least 12 months (or so they say)...

I'm 36 and not getting any younger so don't have time to lose.

Also kevinbudgie, I think you a very funny :D Your outlook on life is very refreshing or so it seems. I can imagine you have a great sense of humour.

Stay happy
Parismum

[petster]

Hi Parismum

I haven't been told about having to wait 12 months to conceive after a caesarean... My DD is 6 months old and we are about to try a FET - and I've had a caesarean - my Dr is quite happy to go again... Check it out with your Dr - or try a different Dr... Maybe it means 12 months between actual births - so bub #1 would have to have been 3 months old when you conceive #2 for this to be a problem...

Cheers!

[dee dee]

Hi Parismum,
I also think that you should check with your doctor about the whole twelve month wait after a caesar. My ob says that it is ok to try as soon as I feel ready to. That is my experience after having a caesar with no complications. But just to be safe have a chat to your health care provider.

[claire&declan]

Hi there,

I find it amazing that you asked if the problem was with our partner/husband, up until now quite often its me that gets asked what was the problem with me. Well at the end of the day its our problem not mine or his, but to answer your question it was due to my husband having a low motility and normality. Funny that he already had 2 children when I met and married him. Our specialist said that it could have been something as small as a viral bug that destroyed the production. Anyway we have 1 beautiful boy who is 2 and #2 due in Jan 06. Good luck to you all.

[bb]

hi, hope i don't sound naive, but what were some of the reasons for you all to consider IVF? did they relate to yor partners sperm count, ovary problems, age or sexual problems? im very curious

Our reason for using IVF was pretty clear - after my husband had testicular cancer twice (and as he puts it, since they remove the testicle (known as an orchidectomy ... not sure of the spelling, but a beautiful word for such a procedure), you can really only ever have it twice), we had no choice. I can still remember the first interview we had there, when the nurse asked us how long we had been trying to get pregnant for ... my husband and I looked at each other ... a little confused ... and told her that we had never tried ! It really made no sense to be "trying" since there was no medical way of getting there without medical intervention !!

Ours is an amazing, complex and at times, devastating story ... with a very happy ending !

BB

[bb]

Just those of you who have followed this one might be interested to know that we have been back to IVF ... once ... and believe it or not ... it worked. Early days yet ... only found out today ! Actually we haven't told anyone yet ... might wait for Christmas Day to make the big announcement ... we are blessed !

[Jenko]

Awww...bb, congrats! That is wonderful news. I just sat down and read through this whole thread and what a lovely surprise it was to get to the end and see your post. Hope all goes well! :) :)

[JnA]

Big Congratulations bb!! ... all the very best for it.


I haven't decided if I am going to have another baby. We have nothing left in the freezer, so If I do, it's going to be the whole thing over again.. and it knocked me around the first time. Still up in the air about that one (early days though.. our first is only three and a half months ATM)


Originally Posted by Suzzana
hi, hope i don't sound naive, but what were some of the reasons for you all to consider IVF? did they relate to yor partners sperm count, ovary problems, age or sexual problems? im very curious

We had to go through IVF because my partner is a quadreplegic.

[petster]

BB

That is fantastic news!!! Congrats!! Wishing you all the very best! What a wonderful Christmas Day your family will have!

Cheers!