Is working an excuse for not lifting a finger?

[aquaserene80]

Hi,

My DH thinks that as he is the working member he is entitled to not do anything much around the house during weekdays. If I even ask him to do a small chore he gives me a bewildered look.. And yeh, if he does do anything he expects the whole world to know about it and he thinks I should be obliged to him?! Does he have to keep an account of all the things he has done for me/kids just because he is a MAN??? huh?

[decambla]

That seems to be the way it works in this house too. He works so gets a free pass on housework and child rearing
Hi,

My DH thinks that as he is the working member he is entitled to not do anything much around the house during weekdays. If i even ask to do a small chore he gives a bewildered look.. And yeh, if he does do anything he expects the whole world to know about it and he thinks I should be obliged to him?! Does he have to keep an account of all the things he has done for me/kids just because he is a MAN??? huh?

[Theophania]

HELL NO!!! that is not the way it works in our household. My husband doesn't get a maid just cause he married me... I am told by other people all the time how horrible I am because I expect him to 'chip in' around the house.

[aquaserene80]

What did he do pre kids? Hasn't he previously worked AND had to look after himself ie clean, washing etc?


To be honest, he is quite an independent fellow who can take care of himself well, but after marriage has just taken a laid back attitude that he just doesnt want to budge out of! sigh. anyways, i am working on him day in day out... :)

[aquaserene80]

HELL NO!!! that is not the way it works in our household. My husband doesn't get a maid just cause he married me... I am told by other people all the time how horrible I am because I expect him to 'chip in' around the house.


LOL! good on u gurl! high 5 for that! my hubby is get shock treatments from me nowadays. I think i am getting thru to him :D

[aquaserene80]

That seems to be the way it works in this house too. He works so gets a free pass on housework and child rearing


We need to take a stand ..otherwise men will not get it i guess lol... sigh !

[MunchiesMummy]

In a word. No. X Hubby works 10 hour days and still does his share.

[decambla]

What did he do pre kids? Hasn't he previously worked AND had to look after himself ie clean, washing etc?
Nope. We have been together 15 years. He moved straight from his parents in with me. I would strongly question my DHs ability to even locate our laundry, let alone do an actual load of washing.

[decambla]

We need to take a stand ..otherwise men will not get it i guess lol... sigh !

If only it was that easy hey. My Dh knows I wont go on strike and let the house get dirty, it eats me up.

[2darlingboys]

Didnt you get the memo/job description about being a SAHM it's our "job" to do everything in house & with kids?
What's your email?
I'll get him to forward it to you.
But Honestly I'm surprised I get anything done around here because all I do it sit down all day & watch dr Phil, oprah etc

[aquaserene80]

Didnt you get the memo/job description about being a SAHM it's our "job" to do everything in house & with kids?
What's your email?
I'll get him to forward it to you.
But Honestly I'm surprised I get anything done around here because all I do it sit down all day & watch dr Phil, oprah etc


lol.. yeh, its hard to keep ourselves motivated to get all the household chores done isnt it? it is easy some days, while IMPOSSIBLe The other... atleast its good to talk about it to people who can relate to it..

Thanks.

[trishalishous]

Send him an account:
24/7 Nanny - $2520 a week
Cook (14 hours a week) - $280
Cleaner (14 hrs a week- including dishes washing/ laundry/setting tables) - $280
for a start!
so unless he brings in $3000 A WEEK he can help even up the financial load but doing the dishes if you cook, taking out the rubbish etc.
Either that or tell him you are hiring a cleaner, or just stop doing his housework/washing/dishes/cooking.

[2darlingboys]

Yep & some days DS being a nightmare & they just dont get it or it's all clean at nap time z& then messy as soon they wake up.

[aquaserene80]

Send him an account:
24/7 Nanny - $2520 a week
Cook (14 hours a week) - $280
Cleaner (14 hrs a week- including dishes washing/ laundry/setting tables) - $280
for a start!
so unless he brings in $3000 A WEEK he can help even up the financial load but doing the dishes if you cook, taking out the rubbish etc.
Either that or tell him you are hiring a cleaner, or just stop doing his housework/washing/dishes/cooking.


I CAN stop doing his housework/washing/dishes/cooking???? :cheerleader1:...:eek:...sorry, i had a DREAM! LOL..

[louellyn]

I work three days a week and DH works 5 days.

As far as we are both concerned once he gets home at night all chores are 50-50 eg I will cook DS' dinner but DH will give him his bath. DH cooks most dinners and I clean up the dishes.

We have a 50-50 household and I wouldn't live any other way to be honest. I think it is fine that I do the bulk of the housework when he is not here and he does the bulk of the outside work on weekends. But as previously said when we are both home it is 50-50.

[aquaserene80]

I work three days a week and DH works 5 days.

As far as we are both concerned once he gets home at night all chores are 50-50 eg I will cook DS' dinner but DH will give him his bath. DH cooks most dinners and I clean up the dishes.

We have a 50-50 household and I wouldn't live any other way to be honest. I think it is fine that I do the bulk of the housework when he is not here and he does the bulk of the outside work on weekends. But as previously said when we are both home it is 50-50.


Good for you! happy to know that! :)

[Tam-I-Am]

Nope. I work and DH stays at home with the kids, and I still do my fair share. I don't necessarily do much housework as DH is so organised so there's usually not much for me to do (although if I see them, I'll put a load of washing on or fold it or whatever), but I do grocery shopping, meal planning, child rearing, putting children to bed/reading stories/giving them baths etc.

Sometimes I realise that I've been taking advantage and not doing so much, but I don't think that it's RIGHT that I do that - more that I get into a bit of a groove and kind of forget (and DH NEVER complains. I wish he would, it would motivate me to do more around the house). I don't see it as his duty to do these things - I'd be more than happy to help out with them. I see housework and child rearing as our combined duty - not his to look after them and me, too (although, I admit, I get seriously cranky if my work clothes aren't washed).

[2darlingboys]

Pm me anytime you need :)

[bumMum]

no thats ridiculous. he is a working parent. not just working. he has responsibilities at home. can you tell him you are feeling overwhelmed and need more help? ask him what jobs he would be happy to be responsible for? i.e. doing bedtime stories, or taking the bins out or bringing the laundry in.. the evenings are the MOST hectic time of day here, and i really dont think you should be doing it alone.

[LeahKennedy]

Didnt you get the memo/job description about being a SAHM it's our "job" to do everything in house & with kids?
What's your email?
I'll get him to forward it to you.
But Honestly I'm surprised I get anything done around here because all I do it sit down all day & watch dr Phil, oprah etc

LOL! I know - that's all we do - apparently.

[mum2bubba]

No it's not an excuse. If I had a job, I'd still have to do housework. I can't afford a maid.