View Full Version : donīt be too hard on yourself- or donīt follow a "trend"!
hi girls,
reading all this positive vibes about vbac and "everybody" can do it, honestly, infuriates me a tiny, little bit. :)
yes, vbac is usally managable and not a drama AT ALL.
but, still there are girls out there like me, or even worse off, who think- ummm
as mentioned before i DID have a uterus rupture, while trying for a vbac. i was in labour for 36 hours and refused all prev. offers for a c/s- as i thought - I HAVE TO DO IT this time.
i couldnīt and due to my pride nearly gambled it all off....
after my 2.nd em c/s- i luckily had a healthy bouncy baby and no hysterectomy was necessary- as i said there are a lot mums out their, who lots their bubs through this and/ or had a hysterectomy because of this.
with bubby no.3 i had to have an ele. c/s- everything else would have been far too risky.
while opening me up with c/s no.3- docs said- i am not to have any more babies, as my uterus is far too thin and wonīt hold another full term pregnancy, also i developed a hernia in my old c/s scar tissue (ouch).
what i try to say is- yes, risk of uterus rupture is tiny, but still REAL :thumbsdown:
donīt let your pride guide you in something your heart isnīt sure enough. at the end the most important thing is having a healthy baby, and being able to enjoy it!!!!
this post is not meant to offend anyone, or to start off an discussion, it was just something it had to let out :ecomcity:
FourAngelKisses
18-09-2006, 09:14
A friend of a friend tried for a vbac and had her uterus rupture too. The baby ended up in the cavity between the uterus and the stomach and the umbilical cord ended up getting squashed during contractions and her baby died. :( So sad......thankfully it didn't happen to you. :hugs:
:hugs: angel kisses: i am soooo sad for your friend :crying: thatīs what i mean, this things are real :gloomy: ...... and not all vbac stories are nice, pink and fluffy....
HUGS to you and your brave friend :hugs:
vanillabean
18-09-2006, 09:26
Thank-you for sharing your story. I too have had 2 C/Sections and the second decision was very difficult. A caesar is just another way of having a baby.
I'm sorry to hear of your experience. I don't believe that people will follow a 'trend' when they are considering an important medical decision for themselves and their baby. Many of the women who post here about having a vbac are looking for information and support. This information can help them in making an informed decision based on the links provided by so many of our fantastic members. I believe that we do need to know the good and the bad to make a decision which is right for us.
I will be having a vbac if I do have any more babies and the decision is based on information I have read and discussed with my supportive dr. There will always be horror stories with any birth, my c/section is one of them, I would be kidding myself if I thought there was no risk, but I believe that a vbac is the best way for me to come out the other end with the best outcome. I know it's not for everyone, and it doesn't need to be for everyone. I applaud everyone who informs themselves and makes the best decision for themselves and their baby for their individual circumstances, whether it be a vbac or another c/section. :thumbsup:
tickle:
good luck for your vbac. of course, a vbac would be very healing, thats why i tried- but failed with this scary ending...
what i try to say here is, be open minded and donīt try to push your body over the limit.
and with "trend" i mean- the vbac wave- which is GREAT!!! i tried it too, so donīt get me wrong- but donīt you put too much pressure onto yourself!!!
Briannabear
18-09-2006, 11:59
Sorry to hear you had such a yucky experience. :( :hugs:
Its important to hear both sides - good and bad - regarding VBACs so you can make an informed decision. :yes:
For me personally my choice to try for a VBAC has nothing to do with fads or trends - just other personal and medical reasons. I have done a lot of research, and feel like Im going into this with my feet planted firmly on the ground.
On the other hand, Im not planning on any 'heroics' - Im just going to do my best and if things go smoothly (and faster than my last labour) than thats fantastic and I'll get my VBAC. If not, then I will trust my fabulous Obstetrician and listen to his advice.
Ive spent the money this time to get fantastic medical care because my baby's life and my health is more important to me than the method of delivery.
~MinkeyMoo~
18-09-2006, 13:30
Im sorry to hear of your bad experience but glad everything worked out in the end. I read some very very sad stories whilst researching my decision for VBAC. I suppose the thing is that there are horror stories with every method of delivery, child birth is after all still a risky experience even with all our medical advancement.
I think you need to go into any situation with your eyes open and trust your body to know when things are going wrong. (as an aside, Im very suprised you were "allowed" to labour for such a long period.)
How awful for you that you should experience an UR :crying: I knew a lady who lost her baby after attempting a HBAC and the baby went through the UR site. I have to say, this totally freaked me out - it only happened a few months before my baby was due.
When preparing for my DS4's birth, I made a specific plan that I was preparing for an EBAC - an 'empowered birth after caesarean'. Part of the positive affirmations I would say each night before bed leading up to the birth, and during the early part of labour, was an affirmation "I relinquish my control over the outcome of this birth - this baby will be born when and how is best for this baby"
Before I set out preparing for a HBA2C, I was (tho very depressed about it) preparing myself that I would probably need another c/section. Then I started attending Birthrites (http://www.birthrites.org), and learnt about 'EBAC'.
EBAC encompasses all birth outcomes. And I think this is the first thing any potential VBAC mummy needs to do, is to plan for all outcomes, an prepare positively for each of them.
It isnt about a vaginal birth at all costs - and as Briannabear said, it's not about heroics. And as you have said, it is not about a trend. What we want from our birth, this time round, is to go in with our eyes open to the reality of what occurs during the birth process, and to ensure that the birth process is respected by all those attending, and that our birthspace isnt degraded in anyway. This is our priority.
Women go for a VBAC after learning how much of a real possibility it can be for them - most women do have straightforward and undramatic VBACs (I have had 2 vbacs that were very straightforward). I have never thought of it as a 'fashion statement'. I would have been just as proud to present an 'EBA2C' story, if I had needed a 3rd c/section with DS4. And, hypothetically, if I was to have a future birth, I would still create an empowered 'plan c' just in case.
lilpearl
18-09-2006, 14:35
Yes, there are some sad outcomes to VBAC's - just as there are to any other birth. It is very important that women are informed of possible side effect's and that they include on their birth plan their choices regarding emergency cesarean (such as, if it must take place, what sort of anesthetic they would prefer, and holding/breastfeeding their baby immediately following delivery, etc). I'm expecting baby no. 3, and it will be my second VBAC. I'm choosing another water VBAC, possibly at home, as I know that VBAC is (in most cases) much safer than cesarean section. My decision is based on informed choice, and I think it is most important that women have all the information at hand. Things can go wrong, in ANY birth...but birth is, intrinsically, a very safe event, one which the body is designed to cope with beautifully. However, some women cannot breastfeed, no matter how hard they try, and how much they want to...that is the same with birth - some women truly NEED to have a cesarean, and, in their case, cesarean is safer than natural birth. On the whole though, VBAC is just as safe as any birth.
Liana Rhimes - doula
:D
as i said, i didnīt want to make a big thing out of it, just wanted to mention, what CAN happen. i ALWAYS thought it CANīT happen to me, as the percentage is soooooo tiny- AND it always happens to others, isnīt it ?! :rolleyes:
i pushed myself too hard to get MY VBAC. because i was obsessed with "doing it right"- because- everybody told me, if you really want it- you can do it....
thatīs all i wanted to say- listen to your inner self and donīt compare your birth to anybody elses...we are unique and some can do it and some not.
take care all and good luck for all your VBACīs!!
Lilly, I think it is good for you to remind us of the slim chance of UR :yes: .
I think disappointment in a birth outcome not only comes about when external factors have conspired against us to not get the birth we want, but also when we set our hearts on one outcome only. My 2nd vbac attempt failed, and I think one of the many factors surrounding my trauma was my attitude at that time that a vaginal birth was the only outcome I could envisage for myself. I felt humiliated that I hadnt achieved what I was so obsessed with getting.
This time round, I really had to release the outcome of the birth to the Universe/God/Fate, and focus on just planning a sacred event, rather than believing I could actually control something so much greater than myself - my child's entry into this world.
You help us all to keep things in perspective :thumbsup:
Rebecca- wonderful said- wonīt add anything to this!!! :yes:
AND
thanks to all of you girls, for talking only,
and not "slaugthering" me..:)
i LOVe the fact we can here , on bubhub,
TALK and listen to each other-
rather than searching for chances/ opportunities
"to grill" somebody!
THANKS a LOT for being part of such a wonderful site!!
THANKS GIRLS!
LOL Lilly, there's a no slaughter rule around here.;)
:hugs:
MamaSage
18-09-2006, 18:17
No worries Lilly. I guess you are the 'worst case scenario' when it comes to VBAC. It's grounding to hear stories like yours, as you (thankfully) don't very often. :hugs:
Mamaduke
18-09-2006, 18:48
LOL Lilly, there's a no slaughter rule around here.;)
:hugs:
Does that extend to the piggy in your ava? 'Cause he looks scrumdiddliumptious!!! :chef:
FourAngelKisses
18-09-2006, 18:50
Does that extend to the piggy in your ava? 'Cause he looks scrumdiddliumptious!!! :chef:
I think that lil piggy went to market............
Oi! Stop eyeing off my pig. Poor Beverly ran away, she's free as a bird now.:fingerscrossed: :D
indigoin0z
18-09-2006, 19:56
Lilly, I think it is good for you to remind us of the slim chance of UR :yes: .
I think disappointment in a birth outcome not only comes about when external factors have conspired against us to not get the birth we want, but also when we set our hearts on one outcome only. My 2nd vbac attempt failed, and I think one of the many factors surrounding my trauma was my attitude at that time that a vaginal birth was the only outcome I could envisage for myself. I felt humiliated that I hadnt achieved what I was so obsessed with getting.
This time round, I really had to release the outcome of the birth to the Universe/God/Fate, and focus on just planning a sacred event, rather than believing I could actually control something so much greater than myself - my child's entry into this world.
You help us all to keep things in perspective :thumbsup:
DITTO!...
thanx girls, for the reminder to keep it all in check!:rolleyes::yes:
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