Discipline older Twins

[BB78]

Hi mums,

would love to hear any tips/ideas on how to discipline twins now that they are getting older?

What do you do when 1 does something wrong & the other doesn't do you punish both or seperate?

My twins will be 10 next month & today Mr L broke our near new $900 Tv by throwing a metal spoon at it breaking the screen.
I have told them there can no longer be a big party with friends & picking up their expensive gifts off lay by as we now need that money to go towards a new Tv.
Well both twins are crying Mr J saying he shouldnt miss his birthday & gifts as he didn't do anything.
All well & good .... but what will Mr L do while his twin parties with friends & get gifts??:hair:

My husband has been out of work since Feb due to illness & we have been having a hard time, getting food from family & behind bills etc... it's not like we have money sitting & waiting to go buy a new Tv. Things will be fine when hubby can work full time again but for now money is tight & we can not buy another Tv & have a big birthday bash... plus I personally don't think he deserves it!! He is 9yo & knows better IMO!

What would you do?:(

[Sheer Bliss]

Were they both fighting and doing the wrong thing when it happened? If yes, then both going without might be OK, but if only one did it, then I think you need to punish him and not his brother. It isn't fair to treat them the same when only one did the wrong thing.

As punishment, I think going without TV sounds like an awesome consequence of throwing a spoon at it. Don't buy a new TV at all for a month or 2. It might be difficult at first, but will show them a real consequence. The birthday party thing is a big call. i'd be inclined to have the party, as assuming they have some mutual friends, it would be really heartbreaking for one to sit in their room while the other has friends over. Maybe come up with a separate punishment, involving not getting the big presents if thats what you want. But you can't (IMO) punish one twin because the other did the wrong thing, it's not fair at all.

[OJandMe]

Oh :hugs: I have to deal with this all the time!! (I'm sure you do too, just not for things as big as that)

Personally I think that you should make the twin who broke the TV sit down with you and work out a way he can earn money to pay for a new one.

Washing cars maybe?
Walking neighbors dogs?
Helping around the house?

Help him set a goal and a plan for how he is going to earn back the money.

That way if his twin helps out.... he gets money too... but he can spend/save his and the one who damaged the TV has to put his money in a TV fund.

I wouldn't buy a new TV until there was enough money in the TV fund.

(Of course you'd put extra in.. but make sure he knows you've put extra in.... say every time he contributes something, you do.... so he won't slack off thinking you'll just do it. Only contribute when he does. )

I'd be furious if they broke the TV... but I wouldn't make the other twin miss out on his birthday party. Nor the one who broke the TV... I'd just make him buy the new TV!!


Even if you only do it for 3 months... so he knows how big a deal it is, and how he's responsible for his own actions.

I'd just say: "I've changed my mind.... you're not going to miss your birthday. But YOU have to come up with a plan for buying a new TV... YOU have to do the work and YOU have to contribute the money for it. Meet me at the kitchen table in 30 mins with your business proposals and we'll see what we can work out."

[LizzardLover]

I also don't think it's fair to punish the one who didn't do anything wrong.

I would go to cash converters or to freecycle and get an old TV off there and a cheap set top box and use that as your TV for now. Then save up to replace it but I would use OJandMe's idea of making the one who broke it help to save up the money for the TV.