My Fiance left me

[OneBabyBoy]

...

[~EmsMum~]

oh hunny im sorry to hear :kiss:

[DQ]

What reasons did he give you? Was it totally unexpected or was it on the cards?

I really have no advice, I am just bewildered that someone can do this to another person while they are pregnant. Having said that though, unfortunately, it happens everyday!

I am here if you need anyone to talk to! :hugs:

[javalava]

Oh babe:hugs:

I went through this a few years back and everything you just wrote totally described how i felt. I totally know how you feel. How everything reminds you of him, i felt that too. The only wanting him to comfort you, while countless others are trying to help you just want him. It was like reading my life on the screen when DF and i broke up for a while. I HATED IT!! Honestly i was a wreck, all i did was cry and sleep and cry and sleep, i even nearly took my life because i was so utterly lost. The hole inside was just too big for anything else to fill it.

The good news is it changed, the hole got smaller with time until one day it didnt hurt as much anymore and i could cope with everday life. We did end up back together but not before i grew to know i could live without him, i knew that i was stronger and ever since then im a changed person. I know right now what im saying wont make you feel better, because nothing but him will right now. BUT, please have faith in the fact it really will change. You cant make time go faster and your going to feel like this for a while yet but look forward to your bub. You CAN do it without him!!

My DF (ex at the time) didnt want to talk to me either and it feels so devistating but after a while he will change and talk to you again. For now just focus on telling yourself how important you are and how important your family is to you. Your babies need you!

Please feel free to PM me if you need to. :hugs:

[SamanthaJane]

I am sending you a great big virtual hug :hugs:

Right now it just feels like your stuck in a rut, so you can't possibly see that in the future you will be a stronger person, and you will move on from this. When a break up occurs you very much get yourself stuck into the present time and dwell on the past... the future just seems meaningless...

But i can promise you that it will get better, you will feel better and as a result you will be a better person.

You have the miracle of a baby to look forward to, you are very blessed :kiss:

We are all here for you, so dont be afraid to vent! There's always a bubhub screen in front of someone out there :)

[indigoin0z]

i just wanted to reiterate everything samantha-jane just wrote...:rolleyes:

stay strong... have more faith in yourself...

take care & dont forget there are people here you can always vent to... it always helps to just get it off your chest...:yes:

PEACE 2u:hugs:

[lavenderpegasus]

I think we should get together, next Saturday... go and have brunch... movies, markets, beach... any thing... With us or with anyone... Just don't do that day alone:D

[SixtiesChild]

I am so sorry for the three of you :hugs: but especially for you and baby.
As an older mother (40) of 2 little girls I can't say I have been in exactly the same position as you but have experienced prolonged grief in pregnancy which was not good for me or the baby.
Do you have a GP that you can trust? The hospital may be able to get hold of a support person (eg: social worker or psychologist) to help you take some of the pressure off so that you can cope with your circumstances and to help you focus positively and do a really good job.
I don't want to give you false hope but sometimes men can get sort of spooked by the whole baby thing and end up wanting to be a part of it later on when they see how great a relationship their child has with the mother. Just do your very best for the baby and learn to stay focussed on your baby and get to know him/her. That is really really important, to develop a good relationship with the child. I cannot stress this enough. I was so preoccupied with my personal grief that I had a poor bond with my 1st baby. Believe me, You wouldn't want this.

All you can do is your very best and that is excellent:thumbsup:

[Niki]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Aww honey how awful for ya! but time will heal these wounds...is there any bubhubers in your area that u could meet up with that could help u out?

[Kayte]

I just want to send you huge :hugs: . Im so sorry your going through a difficult time !!! I know that absense makes the heart grow fonder though ? If thats any help !! Chin up chick ... :fingerscrossed: everything turns out the way you want it ! :hugs: :hugs:

[wannabemum]

WHAT A &$^#%$* *#&$^#& :mad:

Immature and selfish, to do this to someone who is pg (and very close to due date too) :thumbsdown:

Hunny you need to focus on you and your bub (easier said than done I know).... At the moment a huge dark cloud is surrounding you, and it is very difficult to see anything else.... :gloomy:

But there are 2 things that YOU NEED TO DO!

a) Talk to someone (anyone) you can not keep these emotions inside, it is dangerous for you and your baby.
b) Need to go for a walk, see the sunshine. Know that there is going to be a light at the end of this tunnell (you just can't see it now).

Please continue writing on this thread, you need too let out everything

Lots of :hugs: coming you way xxxxxxxxx

[Sarak7]

awww hun...:hugs:

If it counts for anything your certainly not alone.
He just clearly isn't worthy of you.. i've recently gone through the exact same thing.
as much as this sounds like a total load of sh*t it will get better and the pain your feeling will slowly fade.
your shopping trolley won't be filled with things he likes anymore
and you won't be reminded of him everytime you look at something
your so close to having your bub you should be happy don't let someone as immature and selfish as him bring you down (i know it's hard)

I'm here for you if you need to talk:)

[OneBabyBoy]

Thank you so much for all your kind words everyone
It means alot to know that other people know how i feel
Thank you again for being so kind to me and offering to talk. I'll come back online tomorrow when i feel a bit better and write more and send some PM's

:hugs:

[dragonflyblu]

Stay strong for yourself. My DH and I broke up about 18 months ago. Both of us needed time to sort ourselves out. In the year that we were seperated we both became stronger. It was hard, and it was the darkest time of my life for the first few months. When we started seeing each other a year later we were both more mature, stronger people, not as needy. My only advice is to try to find yourself, find the strength in yourself and use this time to become the person you want to be. Life seems dark now but it will get better if you take control of the situation. :kiss:

[Charis]

Hey lil peanut!! Gosh big hugs to you. Some lovely things the other women have said and such a hard hard time for you.

I'm single these days also, but more from my own choice. But you have the double whammy of pregnancy and breakup. Breakups are so so hard at anytime, when you still love the other person, am so sorry for your sadness.

Must say when you feel like you can even glimpse the wonderful future that you and yr precious bub will have, it will all be alright. You will be the most needed and valued person to your little one and am sure you're also the thoughtful,caring,intelligent,wonderful woman that you are, as well as also being an amazing mother!!

Probably a bit early for the silver lining..but when you have started thinking of the day after tomorrow, just think; you'll be able to devote all your time to bub (and you of course!) rather than looking after two others.. single parent assistance$ are not all that bad.. you wont have to worry about the instability of home+nesting if perhaps he would have moved out later on, if he comes back and you take him back it'll be a lovely positive.

Hope you have some wonderful mates to take you out this weekend, sorry am on the other side of the country!! But a rollicking good time is needed, a trip away? The restaurant you've always wanted to go to?? All the things that are JUST YOU!! and special to you, a great day to really embrace who you are. A very special wonderful person!!! :hugs: . All the best to you and bub!!

[oleander]

I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. My husband did the same to me 9 weeks ago. Left and said he dosent want to be with me but wants to be there for the baby ect. You have to look after yourself and eat healthy because the baby needs it. Please do it for yourself and your baby. The best advice I can give is to restrain yourself. DO NOT call him, text him, email him whatever. It makes it worse. It gives him control and makes him feel powerful. If you feel like you have to talk then call someone else like your mum or a friend. Get out of bed, put your makeup and perfume and something nice on and go somewhere. Have something healthy to eat. I do it every single day. Focus on getting the nursery ready, getting the house ready, go out with friends, visit family. He is a pig. YES, you can do this on your own. He has done you a huge favour but you just cant see it yet. I know this because I am beginning to realise this myself. It will take you a while to adjust but you are better off in the long run. As for your supposed to be wedding date next weekend, do something else. Ive been there too a few weeks ago on my first wedding anniversary. You can get through it. Just make sure you dont just sit at home and mope around. Do something fun. You are lucky you didnt actually marry this moron. Dont dwell on the past. You cant get the past back because its gone. Move on. Easier said than done, but try.

I really hope you start to feel better soon. You are not alone. Best of luck to you and bubs. Big :hugs:

[OneBabyBoy]

...

[Chanelc]

I have come in at the end of this thread - but glad ot hear you have found comfort in everyone's words.
Just want to say - you sound like you have found your inner strength and remember we are all hear to listen and vent.
Sending you a hug :hugs: and on Saturday remember log in if you need to cry to us - we will be around..

Cheryl 33yr
Chanel 9 months

[dragonflyblu]

Good work, you really sound like you have found the strength you will need. It is really hard, but you are doing the right thing by talking about it and definately use all the help you can get from the hospital or anywhere else that may offer it. :hugs:

[GraceUnhearing]

:hugs: to you

i hope you are coping all right
men suck.

they never take into consideration how we feel.
my Dp and i were engaged last year then at th beginning of this year he left me saying he didnt love me any more.

i was devestated like you and didnt know what t do.
then i found out i was pregnant.

i let him go for a few months and do what ever he wanted to do to sort his head out o what ever.

we have since gotten back together and we're slowly working out our differences.

we are not engaged anymore but just trying again from the beggining,

if you need to talk just PM me, im good at listening.

where abouts in sudney are you?

[Will's mum]

I hope I am doing this right as it is the first time I have responded. I know exactly how you feel. I was married in Sept 05 and we tried to fall pregnant straight away. I did and my husband had an affair when I was 7 months preg. I found out and was devastated. He then hung around saying he was sorting it out (little did I know he continued the affair) until I had the baby in July this year. He then left when my son was 3 1/2 weeks old for this other woman. He is now 8 weeks old and I am trying to manage as best I can. Just remember you are the better one and you can get through any problem for that little baby. I live for my boy now and he helps me realise that I am a good person. Keep smiling. :o things will work out for you.



:hugs: to you

i hope you are coping all right
men suck.

they never take into consideration how we feel.
my Dp and i were engaged last year then at th beginning of this year he left me saying he didnt love me any more.

i was devestated like you and didnt know what t do.
then i found out i was pregnant.

i let him go for a few months and do what ever he wanted to do to sort his head out o what ever.

we have since gotten back together and we're slowly working out our differences.

we are not engaged anymore but just trying again from the beggining,

if you need to talk just PM me, im good at listening.

where abouts in sudney are you?

[oleander]

What is with these men? (if I can actually call them 'men').

Will's mum your story is similar to mine. I was married in August 05 and am pregnant, due in a couple of weeks. D1ckhead left 10 weeks ago.

What is it with men who want to get married (he asked me!!!) and have a baby, then when they have all this they decide they want to be single again. Im trying to get my head around it. I know they will regret it although sadly (for them) by the time they do it will be too late.

Anyway, we have our beautiful babies so in the end we are the winners!!! :yelclap:

[nella]

:o I have recentlly been through the same my husband and i got married two years ago and for the first 12 months everything was great. than he started to drink (he woks in construction) all the time, never come home until early morning and than when we did see each other we started to argue, we tried counselling and i thought things were improving, than feb 14th valentines day, we went out for dinner and i planned a really special night candles massage oil chocolates and strawberries champange ect, than he just said i am leaving. My heart stopped! He said he needed space and that we were arguing to much and he needed to clear his head. I begged for hours for him not to leave. But he did. i was a mess for weeks all i could do was cry. But than peple kept telling me he will realise he made a mistake and come back. I pulled myself together went back to work. I went out with a few friends and meet some lovely new friends, and i realised that if he had the guts to walk out on me once who is saying he aint going to do it again. I thought long and hard about wheather i would take him back. i knew if he had of wanted to come back than i would of. But he changed his number and blocked me completely. than i realised it was over. About 2 months ago he came back begging me to take him back. But i never cause when he left i became the stronger person, and realised no man can treat you like that, walk out then try and walk back in and everything should be ok. He hurt me once and i am not letting him do it again. You need to be the stronger person, dont let him take advantage of you. Stand your ground dont ever settle for second best you deserve more.

[SweetSerenity]

Hi Lil Peanut!

Just found your thread...

I just want to give you some support and help if i can!!

Just sharing my experience but from the side of the person who left...

I left my husband five months ago...thinking "he wasnt the one" "i dont love him" "i deserve better"....etc etc.

After those five months of being apart i realised that YES i DO love him and YES he is THE ONE!!! So we're back together now working things out and its the best decision ive made ever! You just never know...he may realise in his "time away" that he cant love anyone the way he loves you...

Im not saying this is what will happen, but just want you to not think of the worst case scenario.... You may get back together or you may just remain friends...

Think of it this way, sooner or later you two will have to form some sort of "relationship" as your little baby will be here soon :) and seeing as he wants to be an active part of your babies life, hes going to HAVE to talk to you and be civil with you in order to see his child...

Just remember you never know what the future holds...Even if you dont get back together you will be a much stronger person for that little bubby of yours!:yes:

Feel free to pm me if you want to chat at all!

Nat xxx

[MrsPee]

Oh Darling HUGE ((((HUGS))))

How did you go yesterday?
I hope that you found something to do and someone to talk too?

Remember as some other ppl have said you always have the Bub Hub.

Plese pop back when you feel you can and let us know that you are ok.