View Full Version : Responsibilities
This morning something bad happened to Eliza she was in her rocker in the bathroom with us, I had just had my shower and DP was brushing his teeth, I left to get a T-shirt and he was still there, then I hear this thud and him calling me, so I am running by this point Eliza was laying face down on the tiles so I grabbed her and picked her up, she has bumped her nose on one of her rattles, anyway she is/was fine after a cuddle and some booby. BUT DP was all "it''s your fault, you left her, not strapped in etc, etc" I just told him to **** off and we're both responsible we're both to blame he was there with her, I expected him to look after her, yes I didn't strap her in I made a mistake :(
But do I really need to say every time I walk away from her "hey can you look after her?"
Because I do every single friggen time she'll be 6 months in 2 weeks and I still have to say this even if I go to the toilet because if I don't say it and she cries or what ever he says..."well you didn't say look after her"
He's a wonderful guy in every other aspect but seriously I am being unfair in saying he needs to grow up and be more responsible?:(:banghead:
For starters don't beat yourself up, it won't be the last bump she'll have.Secondly stop making dinner,washing clothes etc etc because HE DIDN"T REMIND YOU!!! :D
Men are unreal..........but yes I find myself still saying, "look after Luc while I shower' of course I get the reply "do you think I'm uncapable?" ummm yes i do..if i don't remind you GEEEEEEEZ:banghead:
But do I really need to say every time I walk away from her "hey can you look after her?"
Umm...I'd keep saying it if I were you :yes: My DS is 3yrs old and I still have to say to DH "I'm going to the tiolet/have a shower/etc, can you watch the kids?" If I don't he'll just get up and wander downstairs and leave a 3yr old and a 10mth old to look after themselves :banghead:
If I want DH to do something I have to ask him, even if it is something obvious that I shouldn't have to ask him to do.
Don't feel bad about not strapping your bub in her rocker, I have never strapped DD into hers :o By the time I realised she could move enough to fall out and decided to start using the straps she had figured out how to roll over and climb off it anyway.
Grrr, mine can be exactly the same! If I dont specifically say Im leaving the room, going for a shower, or whatever, he wont pull his head out of his a*se! :banghead: Mine is wonderful as well, but that irks me too, although he is getting better, thank goodness.
Its not your fault, it was an accident, although HE should have been watching her ;)
Glad little Eliza is ok :hugs:
OMG lol I am going to make a tape recording or a notice in large letters I will lose my voice otherwise, sheshh us poor women lol:hugs:
I usually tell my BF to keep an eye on her each time - sometimes he'll read or something so doesnt really have his full attention on her - I think sometimes they don't see that something may happen also when they are minding them also cause the might not realise a baby is able to do something or quite so quickly (with little noise).
EJ has been sitting right next to my BF and she's reached and grabbed the edge of the couch and started to pull herself forward off it - I was across the room, saw it and sorta yelled out - stop her. He did just in time before she went off it but he said afterwards he didnt think she was able to do that even though i'd warned him a few times she was trying to do it previously :eek:
bellagirl
17-09-2006, 14:02
i think this must just be a male thing.
my dp always yells at me coz i fill the bin up till the point where its overflowing, despite the amount if times i tell him during the day! when i do tell him, he says i'll do it when im ready but i shouldnt have to tell him!!!
im suuure he goes to the bin at least once a day and sees its FULL!!!!!!!
sorry for the vent..........
and no dont feel bad, i never strapped dd in either.
nemosmum
17-09-2006, 14:09
Yep its a male thing,
they are very capable of looking after their own kids but find it hard to multi task lol
how do they survive?!huh!
If I want DH to do something I have to ask him, even if it is something obvious that I shouldn't have to ask him to do.
Dito here.
I don't think they are capable of thinking for themself sometimes unless it is about sex.
DH is wonderful, but I am left to do most things for DS. Take today i have done all the washing, washed up, made vegies for DS, gone to the shops and bought groceries and am now just getting to sit down and hve some time to myself. What has he done today red the paper, and the watched the fotty show. See my point.
Belinda
Just when I think I am alone..... I come on here and realise that all our men are the same!
They really all were educated at the same institution weren't they!!!!!:D
The teachers all took our men aside in high school and showed them to fastest and easiest ways to p*ss us all off!:banghead:
My DH does this too. Only when I ask him to watch the kids while I go do something, he pretends he doesn't hear me the first time! I usually then have to ask him again!:banghead:
hi,
:hugs: Pixie.
OMG- I thought that i was the only one who has got a husband like those mentioned before. I could have written each and every post by myself.
Love.
SassyMummy
17-09-2006, 23:51
DP is the same - I have to ASK him to do EVERYTHING. If I leave her for a few hours, I have to leave him a list of instructions...which is so pathetic! He wouldn't know what to do otherwise! I even have to leave her pre-made lunch out, so all he has to do is feed it to her.
I also find myself thanking him for doing things for her - as if he's just a friend doing me a favour. I have to BEG for him to feed her/bath her/change her nappy... all tasks are, generally, left up to me and me alone (unless he WANTS a cuddle, in which case, he'll take her off of me and cuddle with her).
bronny-jane
18-09-2006, 07:19
pixie its no ones fault:no: these things happen.....it just makes us feel less guilty to blame it on someone else:thumbsup:
my dh is great with the kids....but while im in hospital their staying with my mum and little sister:D ...
I put Cobey down in his bassinet. He happily tries to fall asleep, he loses his dummy and yells for someone. So I wait.
Wait.
Wait.
*SIGH* get up, stomp down the hallway (mature much?) put the dummy in his mouth then scowl at Chris on the way back.
"Well I didn't know what to do."
BABY YELLING PUT CORK BACK IN BABY'S GOB.
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
Hey don't cut yourself up about the rocker incident - a few weeks ago dd came out of her bouncer as I was picking her up in it :o and the front bit snapped up (hard to explain) but anyways, she flipped out of it and did a face plant. I felt like the most ****e mother on earth and she had a mark on her forehead, so when I took her to the shops I felt like Britney Spears or something...as someone else said, this is not the last accident she'll have unfortunately!
OMG I am so over saying "can you turn your voice down a little, take the microphone off" :laughing:
Or he says really loudly "WHERES THE BABY" far out!!!
I know it's not the last bump, she'll have, but still you feel bad!!
ohh and that line of "I didn't know what to do" translates to
"I knew you would get up and do it"
ahh well going to make a big sign I think!!
Mum&bubs
18-09-2006, 08:25
Wow I thought I was the only one with a DP like this. Every time i walk out of the room i have to 'ask' him to watch Summer while I'm gone. If i dont ask him, he will just wander off upstairs or out the back or somewhere out of eye reach of Summer then if i try to get up him for it he says 'what you never asked me to watch her!' different for me though. He just walks out & i just 'know' to watch her, shes my daughter but i dunno maybe its a man thing!! Dont beat yourself up about the rocker thing, my DD has done this before too. Your DP should have been watching too:hugs:
stilldreaming
18-09-2006, 08:41
Its the same in our house too.......they are pretty hopeless really......;)
Funkychicken
18-09-2006, 09:01
Nodding, nodding, nodding here too!:yes: :yes: :yes:
But, the good news is, it does eventually get better. I can now go into another room and (most of the time) know that DH will tend to the baby. He still slacks off in the children department (doesn't actually make them lunch because they didn't ask for it :eek: ) but now that we are onto our third bub, he seems to have worked it out-a bit!
Duchessa
18-09-2006, 09:09
Sheesh - we do get it bad we women! I'm glad your dd is ok, Pixie. I always tell my dh when I expect him to be fully responsible for the girls - then there are no grey areas and I don't have to feel bad for HIS mistakes :rolleyes:... I give him a quick run down on the safety alerts, like if one of the twins is fixated on a power plug and needs to have special attention paid to her etc... Its become a habit now.
Buddha Bubbas
18-09-2006, 22:12
im soooo glad i found this... my DH is EXACTLY the same:yes:
does he have to say to me "im going to the bathroom, shop, outside, anywhere can you watch the kids?" Um HELL NO!
why do i always have to say it??? :banghead:
if i get annoyed that he hanst done something his response is "well why didnt you ask me?" Sorry buddy, didnt think i had to :shame:
i think the main problem is THEY ARE MEN!
Glad to hear DD is Ok Pixie :hugs:
vanillabean
18-09-2006, 22:25
Men are just unbelievable. If they want to do something they jsut wander out of the house, whereas the women have the responsibility of the kids, the house, the washing, the cooking etc and have to ask if something needs to be done including looking after the kids. I get really annoyed when I hear people say their DH is "babysitting" the kids. No, he is being a parent to his own kids.
Buddha Bubbas
18-09-2006, 22:42
. I get really annoyed when I hear people say their DH is "babysitting" the kids. No, he is being a parent to his own kids.
:yes: totally... i dont babysit my children
FunkyMonkey
18-09-2006, 23:02
My gripe with my DF is when he gets home I usually have had enough for the moment and want to get away for just a few minutes, even if its just to get a drink or go to the loo,:eek: but if i ask for him to take TJ, he'll almost always say, "I just got home I want to wind down a bit, then I'll take him."
What does he think I've been doing all day? Sitting about playing with the baby?
My "job" never clocks off, there is always something. The longest time i have been away from my boy is about an hour, and he''l be 5 months old next week.
I NEED A BREAK TOO DAMMIT!!
vanillabean
18-09-2006, 23:09
OMG that annoys me too. They honestly think just because we are home we don't have a full-time job, which in fact is more full-time than their paids jobs because it is 24/7. It annoys me too when DD will wake during the night and DH always says, "You'll have to get up, I am going to work tomorrow" Aaaaaargh:banghead:
My gripe with my DF is when he gets home I usually have had enough for the moment and want to get away for just a few minutes, even if its just to get a drink or go to the loo,:eek: but if i ask for him to take TJ, he'll almost always say, "I just got home I want to wind down a bit, then I'll take him."
What does he think I've been doing all day? Sitting about playing with the baby?
My "job" never clocks off, there is always something. The longest time i have been away from my boy is about an hour, and he''l be 5 months old next week.
I NEED A BREAK TOO DAMMIT!!
Hey,
If i have written the post by myself then that it is. DH is on nights and he has just arrived home. Ria is awake and DH is saying that why haven't you put her to sleep? What can i do if his little daughter doesn't want to sleep?
:hugs: pixie
my man is also slack on the safety issue ie:not strapped into bouncer/rocker, lets him play on changetable while getting something etc etc.
i had been a bit slack.....until yesterday when ds wriggled himself from changetable to floor while i was getting water from the sink :eek: :eek: :eek:
i have now become super safety mama. and dp has as well. nothing like a good scare to whip you into shape
I gotta say he never tells me I have it easy, one particular day she had been a nightmare and he was rushing around like an idiot helping me then gave me a massage and said I had done a lot of hard work, he see's how it can be some days.
Tarquinsmum I haven't left my DD for longer than 2 hours I have had my hair done that's it. But there again I don't want to leave her lol :o
ahh dear :D
He he, I think we all have the same problem! But I think it has a lot to do with who is the main caregiver. Having said that, I cannot count the number of times that I hear a jingle of DS's rattle ball down stairs (when DS is nicely tucked away in bed) and I go to investigate and what do I find??? Our dog sitting at DH's feet chewing on DS rattle ball - It makes a noise damn it! Then when I get cranky and ask why he didn't take it off her, he goes "Ohh I didn't even notice".
But I have to give him credit, he took half a day off work last friday to come home and look after DS so I could have a break (little nervous breakdown in progress)! And when he is the one who is looking after DS he is very attentive.
Little Gorilla
19-09-2006, 09:18
My son is 19 months and when I leave the room I still say to DP "can you watch him". I think for me its just natural reflex. Its not right though.
My hubby and I always make sure we know which one of us is supposed to be fully supervising Hudson, so I have no problems saying "I'm going to the loo, keep an eye on Huddy please.", and he does the same thing. I always think when I hear about kids wandering off and getting hurt at family gatherings etc is because everyone assumes someone else is supervising.
Either I'm in charge or he is, not both of us at the same time because that's when things can happen, iykwim?
I just find it amazing how we have to all say "hey I am just going ----- can you watch him/her" As women we just do it if they leave the room....
I am going to start saying "where are you going? who's keeping an eye on her?" and I know he'll say "you" and I can respond with "ohhhhhhh, I didn't realise you wanted me to look after her" :p
Im afraid this is defo a male thing.
I have to ask DH if he can watch DH for a minute while I go the toilet, otherwise I'll come back and he's left her all on her own while he goes outside for a cigarette. I say, 'SImon, you left anna all on her own, anything could have happened'!
To which he replies 'what?! You didnt ask me to watch her'!!!:banghead:
I have to ask him if i want anything doone full stop! I asked him to go get DD her PJ's the other night. He said "where do we keep them?'
I said 'bottom draw'.
He went, 5 mins later he came back. "bottom draw of where?'!:banghead:
'Bottom draw in her room!!!!' Then he shouts 'Which ones?' I shout "ANY"!!!!
He came back with a woolie all in one that she wears in the middle of winter! Any other Pj's in her whole draw would have done and he brings out them!
He goes off all the time to watch TV in the bedroom or get a bath. Fine yes. But if i wander off and get a bath he comes charging in saying 'What, am i just supposed to be watching her all on my own am i, its not enough that iv worked all day'!!!:rolleyes:
Um yes, and i sit on my *** all day.
These things are so common in my house i just might give up.
ElizaDee
19-09-2006, 15:28
Yep its a male thing, I asked DH to watch Spencer the other day while I had a shower. He wheeled him in to the bathroom with me and walked away so I could watch him while I showered! :eek: Not exactly what I had in mind!
I have to tell him when I am in the toilet or hanging the washing out (as it is downstairs) and tell him to watch Spencer. Sometimes when I want some free time I hand him Spencer and he holds him till he cries or poops his pants then he comes straight back to me to fix the problem! :banghead: Come on Daddy!
But on a better note, Dh is preparing lunch and dinner for me, as most times when it is time to eat Spencer is being restless... thank goodness for that! :smiliedance:
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