When??

[spiritedfamily]

I know this is kind of a contraceptive question but I felt better asking it here because I feel you will understand coming from large family's perspective.

I was wondering how one makes the final decision to have their tubes tied. Deciding what is the magic number.

and also which one has it done...I have heard so many negatives about women tying their tubes...and I don't quite understand why and do men have problems too...does it affect their libido ????

[MummyCharmzy]

For us, it will be after our next child... 'our' 5th (my 4th), this will be because of medical reasons for me, I can't risk getting pregnant again.

We are unsure who will have what done yet, I think I will get my tubes tied but really not sure!

Its such a personal decision to make and I imagine you will know if it feels right for your family. If not, dont get it done.. tho for me I dont think its ever going to feel right but HAS to be done.

As far as I know also, its easier to get a vasectomy reversed and more succesful than having tubes tied reversed... so if you have ANY doubt you might change your mind it might be better to get him done!

[Funkychicken]

We have had this discussion many times and decided that DH would have a vasectomy. That was five years ago and one baby later! :D
DH is so scared so it has just been delayed and delayed. Then our baby arrived and we are just soooo glad that he didn't have it done! It is such a life changing decision. Some people seem to make it very easily and other's (like us) find it very difficult. We are still young (:fingerscrossed: ) and although we are sure we don't want to have any more babies, it is still such a permanent decision (reversals aside). A good friend of mine and her DH have decide NOT to do it as they discussed the possibilities of, god forbid, one of them dying and the other meeting a new partner who wants to have children. I know that's a huge projection but I guess for them they see it as something that could happen and it is out of their control. I know I don't want to have a tubal ligation, I couldn't imagine knowing I couldn't bear any more babies even though I probably won't have any more-rambling I know, but it is late!! :p

[spiritedfamily]

Its good to hear your feedback...it is a big decision and we feel that even though we aren't spring chickens, my biological clock isn't over yet by a long shot. This decision has been getting me down lately as I've always said we'll stop at five but this week I realised I think I say a magic number because everyone asks all the time, are you going to have another? or do you think this it now? and so I've formulated some number that was always down the track but now I'm here at number 5 and I don't feel like I want to make such a permanent decision and it seems hubby is the same. I was worried that maybe we weren't thinking along the same lines but thank God he's not set on tying tubes just yet.

I still like to hear about the choices people have had to make in regards to this issue as we will eventually be making a decision to stop having children and I'm still unsure whats the best procedure. Like you said Funky chicken and charmzy, it seems that the procedure is better for the male rather than the female...

[FourAngelKisses]

I was going to get my tubes tied after this one, but realised I can't as I wouldn't have anyone to help me out for a few weeks afterwards. I also don't want to do it because it is so final......I'm still young and I might decide 8yrs from now that I want another couple of kids. But at the same time, 4 kids is going to be so costly, especially when they reach high school. Yet I know that we need to do something, so I guess it's up to DH to do it.