12 yr old with a baby.

[TNTbub]

A 12yr old girl fell pregnant whilst in state care in Victoria. They have decided to keep the baby, with her mothers help.

First Im shocked that this has happened. Maybe they have to look at what is happening in state care, how did this happen and who did it?

Then I really have to wonder about a 12yr old keeping this baby. I really wonder. I know adoption is a hard issue but surely this baby would be better placed with parents who can care for it emotionally and financially.

If the 12yr old ended up in state care, one has to question the parental abilities of the mother who is now helping raise the baby.

TNTbub

[bumMum]

hmm well we dont know why the girl was placed in state care. It can be for a number of reasons not relating to abuse. for example, if the mother has no support and needed to go into a residential facility because of mental health problems or some other issue. you would hope she was placed back with her mother because the "issue" is resolved.
as for the 12 year old keeping the baby with the help of her mother, this is a better scenario than the girl being co-erced into adoption. we don't want to start that all over again. a whole generation were affected by that kind of thing.
I beleive in most cases, if the family have the support of the right services, children are better off with their biological parents. also, its far too traumatic for someone to have a baby and give the baby away if they are not prepared for that. it can cause life long problems.

[Blairysmum]

:O
wow.
I don't think I even knew what sex was at 12!!

[bumMum]

there are also A LOT of services and programs which the public aren't always aware of for young parents, and seeing as the girl has been involved with the department its pretty likely she will be hooked up with some good programs.

[SpecialPatrolGroup]

Despite the fact that she has just had a baby, she is a child and doesn't have the capacity to understand the permanent nature of giving the baby up for adoption. I feel that having her mother help her to raise the baby (and hopefully help her to still have a childhood of her own and get an education) is the best way to preserve her rights as the baby's mother and as a (very very very young) woman. Yes I know she is a child, but she will grow to be a woman and will undoubtedly restent the fact that her child was taken from her without her having the ability to consent, as we have seen from the women who were taken to homes and had their babies taken from them in the 60's and 70's.

[bumMum]

:O
wow.
I don't think I even knew what sex was at 12!!
really? :laughing: cmon im sure you had some idea.

[HeldAtRansom]

I honestly think it's highly unfair for you to say that the mother had questionable parenting abilities - do you know the exact circumstance in which the young girl was in care? the child could have been in care voluntarily it does not equal poor parenting.

Girls getting pregnant at very young age happens so very often. I can put it down to.. We don't want to talk to our kids about sex because they will go out and have it, teach your daughters about sex, about self love so they don't have to go find some one else to make them feel that way, and most importantly that condoms not only help protect against pregnancy when used correctly they prevent against life long disease.

I don't think she should be made to give up her baby because she was I'll informed of sex, I do believe she will need a very strong support network

[Blairysmum]

really? :laughing: cmon im sure you had some idea.

Ok maybe a little :p but I lived a sheltered life thanks to a 15 year old mother that protected me from all things!! lol!

[RunningWithScissors]

If the 12 year old was wildly out of control, no one, not even this magical 'state care' that everyone seems to believe is some form of prison, was going to stop her getting pregnant. State care is just another family. In a house with windows and doors and adults that go to sleep at night, which make it easy for a troubled child to escape. Carers are also not allowed to physically restrain children in their care.

Its sad that she has gotten to this point, its even sadder that she is back with her mother, who is is now being given the chance to guide another child in the way she has her own child. I hope for everyones sake that she (the adult mother) is given extensive guidance and support in regard to her parenting skills.

I know how hard it is with a child with mental issues, I know how hard it is to get help, I know how hard it is to find the strength to get help, to admit your failings...and to do it with a mental issue yourself (depression, ptsd and anxiety disorder in my case) Im terrified my DS will end up 'off the rails', in trouble with the law, violence, drugs, alcohol and underage s*x.
It takes ALL of me to deal with him. When he is struggling, my depression plummets into a near non-functioning state.

I find it extremely hard to see blame placed anywhere in this case.
These people all need help.

[Pinkzy]

I hope both this child and her baby will have all the support, guidance and love needed to ensure they both have healthy and happy lives.

[flicker]

there are too many gaps in this story to give a proper judgement. i just hope baby, 12 year old and her mum can be looked after.

my questions would be
why was she is state care
who is the father? how old is the father
was she abused
can the state continue to help her
is the mother stable
what does the 12 year old want? or think she wants.

no matter the answers there is probably a sad story to tell behind all this. :(

[trishalishous]

i agree, i hope they find the support they need.

and ive met MANY 12 yo mothers, just because its not the norm in Aus, doesnt mean its the same everywhere.

[Ana Gram]

I don't think we should really speculate without information.

I also don't think adoption is the answer. I think that is quite awful actually, taking her baby away because she is young.

[Tam-I-Am]

I don't think we should really speculate without information.

I also don't think adoption is the answer. I think that is quite awful actually, taking her baby away because she is young.

Agreed, 100%.

[Pregnor]

I just hope she gets the support she needs to look after her baby and finish her education