Hardest thing about being a young mum

[Mum&bubs]

Just wondering from the other fellow young mummies/mummies to be out there like me what do you think the hardest thing about being a young mum is?

I think IMO the hardest thing is the judgemental comments & looks we get. How people think you just got 'knocked up' and now living off your centrelink payments. It can be really stressful at times. So how about everyone else?

[~~backza~~]

I had our first baby when I was 19 and I always felt the hardest part was, being taken serious.
I never felt as though my opinions were acknowledged..

I guess thats why Im not critical of other young mums.

Do you find people presume you have a list of people you have slept with?
I had someone say that to me and it almost floored me!

[~EmsMum~]

I feel like im being judged all the time, I was out shopping the other day and there was this woman who just kept staring me up and down, she really made me feel small :crying:

[Niki]

i think its not being recognised as a good mum! i think im a good mum to my ds but im always getting told wat to do by dfs family and even strangers.....just because we are young doesnt mean we arnt good mums...hey we are great mums :D

[Desertress]

I find that its people looking at you and watching every move you make with your children because they think you are to young and incapable to habdle them or look after them yourself. I found this alot with ds1 as had him just b4 i turned 20 and to add to the i can look ALOT younger then what i actually am.... makes it even worse now with 2 of them.

In the end you just have to ignore other peoples opinions as hard as that may be and just trust in yuor own insitincts. You are the best person to know what is best for your child. You know them better then ANY one else will.

[EskimoMumma]

Hardest thing i found out about being a young mother was having to let go of pretty much all of my friends that werent mums and settling into the life with kids- which is fantastic and great and really a pity that other people my age who dont have kids cant understand the whole new side of life our children bring out.

Of course we are judged, every mother is and im getting pretty sick of the mother/ young mother label. We all do the same thing, so why the different titles?

[~~backza~~]

i think its not being recognised as a good mum! i think im a good mum to my ds but im always getting told wat to do by dfs family and even strangers.....just because we are young doesnt mean we arnt good mums...hey we are great mums :D
I think you'll find that happens at any age LOL.

[~EmsMum~]

I think you'll find that happens at any age LOL.

yep thats true

everyone always gets the unwanted or unwarranted advice :laughing:

[MummyCharmzy]

The only things I think were hard being a 'young mum' was being an underage young mum with my son.... I couldnt drive him places, I couldnt get him his own library card.... just things like that.

People are judgemental a lot but I imagine they are at any age for some reason or another and I don't think its a 'hard' aspect of being a parent.

[LilShenanigans]

I think I've just appreciated looking older then what I am (thanks Smoking LOL).

I find the hardest part was losing a few friends, ones who want to keep binge drinking and doing whatever drugs they can. Although, if I thought about it, I was probably getting sick of them anyway. :rolleyes:

Maybe dating is my latest crux? lol I don't go for anyone under 25 ( I wish I could learn my lesson), but it's the creepy 40+ guys that seem to think I could be their second chance ... eeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwy LOL

Ok, I'll be honest, I find nothing wrong with it. I learnt many years ago that peoples opinions, unless warranted, dont mean anything to me... It took a lot of self analysing to get to that point, but some people don't even begin :(

[EskimoMumma]

I think I've just appreciated looking older then what I am (thanks Smoking LOL).

That is what i blame on me looking slightly older to some people. I must, because last time i bought some hair dye, the shop assistant was like, oh is it to cover your greys?!?!?! :eek: :eek: :eek:

I nearly died..and i only JUST turned 22.

[HugsAndKisses]

my only prob is that i look about 16:o and Df isnt much better lol....must say though i havent had much trouble at all with people in general its probly more from family that i feel im never taken seriously and almost as though they pity my son for having us as parents:( dont get me wrong our family is good to us but i spose in there eyes we've done the wrong thing having a child out of wedlock at a young age...other than that though i really dont care what others think:no:

[tickle]

I think the hardest thing is not being as financially secure as I would have liked to be and not having finished my studies. I know these thing will happen sooner or later, so the benefits of being a young mum definately out weigh these couple of things.
If people want to judge me they can go ahead, the important thing to me is that the people who know me and love me know that I am a great mother. That's all that counts.:thumbsup:

[FourAngelKisses]

The hardest part for me (I had 2 kids 15mths apart by the time I was 21), was people thinking that my kids were from 2 different fathers or that I only got married because I was pregnant..........I got married in November and found out I was pregnant in December.

[SamanthaJane]

I havnt had my baby yet, but as a pregnant young mum its the looks and nasty comments... :crying:

[Whispers]

i find it not hard but quite offensive and rude that when people are talking to me about my children they always ask if they have them same father. becasue i am 20 with 2 children people assume i have slept around and that they have different dads i have been with my partner for 5 years and have same father for both my children and i also agree that it is hard to be taken seriously as people think your so young what could you possiably know that me an older mum wouldnt people need to grow up and get over it being young or old does not affect how good of a parent you are everyone has bad days but mother who think they are perfect and better then me becasue they are "older" can get stuffed i know i am a good mother and thats all that counts

[subaruforestermum]

Hardest thing i found out about being a young mother was having to let go of pretty much all of my friends that werent mums and settling into the life with kids- which is fantastic and great and really a pity that other people my age who dont have kids cant understand the whole new side of life our children bring out.

Of course we are judged, every mother is and im getting pretty sick of the mother/ young mother label. We all do the same thing, so why the different titles?

I totally agree, I went from having a party lifestyle, with all these drinking/clubbing friends, to having no-one....and not having freedom or money was a big thing from me, as I went from having everything I wanted, money coming out of my ears, to nothing....as I was no longer working.....


I think the hardest thing is not being as financially secure as I would have liked to be and not having finished my studies.

I had just started my Diploma of Business when I found out I was pregnant and was in too much shock to be able to concerntrate...

And the people who think that I'm living off Centrelink....when I actually havent received centrelink since bub was 7 months...as we earn too much.......and have been deducted FTB too, as I started working again.....

But all in all I love being a mum, I am the best mum I can be, and am always learning along with my son.......

[meme]

when i was a young mum the hardest things for me were
- the isolation of not having my friends understand life with kids, although it did have the result of me bonding with other girls from school i had not been as close with when they became young mums too.
- not being financially stable, leaving school and not having a car not being able to drive, not having much experience of working, renting or anything else 'grown up' that i now needed.

yes i felt judged too. but i am so glad i was a young mum and think all the young mums here on bub hub are fantastic mumma's:yes:

[belle05]

Hi,

I'm not a mum yet, but TTC so lately we've been visiting baby stores and I find myself justifying to ppl in the stores why DH & I are TTC! They don't understand why we would want to have a family so young when there's life to experience, but to us our family is our life.

xx

[bellapaigesmum]

i have to say that i dont believe that my life is any different after having a baby i still go to school tafe next year and i still have fun. the only hard thing is the community well maybe not as hard as it is annoying or upsetting that people think you cant love your child and your child wont have as much as what a child would have compared to an older family but i believe my dd gets more than she needs. she is never without. i hope the people here are getting behind the respect young mums campaign. i am fully behind it

[WeThree]

How people think you just got 'knocked up' and now living off your centrelink payments. It can be really stressful at times. So how about everyone else?

How do you know people are thinking this?
I think alot of you girls just assume people are thinking things they are not actually thinking at all, just because someone looks at you does not mean they are thinking negative things about your parenting skills.

What I found to be the hardest part of being a young mum was the loneliness, whilst I am now surrounded by other woman at the same stage of their lives as me, when I had my first son I knew no other mums and so I felt like I was missing out all the time because all my friends were going out and partying.

[FourAngelKisses]

I actually had people ASK if we got married because we got pregnant and I had people ask if my kids had the same father. That's how I knew....no assumptions here.

[tickle]

I mean this with all honesty and no sarcasm.
If the hardest thing you have found is other peoples judgements then you guys are doing really great. I absolutely commend you for that. Well done and it's fantastic that you are able to be such great mummies to your little ones.:hugs:

[mum2bubba]

I had Hayley when I was 22 (pregnant at 21) but I look younger (about 16 to 18) so there are many ppl who assume that I am a teen mother and I must have slept around :rolleyes: or whatever. Some ppl are nice though but I really couldn't care less what ppl think coz they don't knowme or anything about me. :no:

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

There's not really much that i find hard about being a young mum i do get some comments about having them at such a young age and so close together but i just shrug it off some of the comments i get are "Dont you have your hands full" as if i cant handle my two or i am not capable of doing it as a young mum.I also find it a little hard not being educated and not having a job and earning money so that i can also provide for my family.

[Melo]

What I found to be the hardest part of being a young mum was the loneliness, whilst I am now surrounded by other woman at the same stage of their lives as me, when I had my first son I knew no other mums and so I felt like I was missing out all the time because all my friends were going out and partying.

You took the words right out of my mouth Coopsntilly!

And people putting their unwanted two bobs worth in - 'Oh you are going to have you hands full'! Really? No sh*t sherlock! This is they way we planned it, and we are going to cope just fine thanks :)

[♥Heaven Sent♥]

You took the words right out of my mouth Coopsntilly!

And people putting their unwanted two bobs worth in - 'Oh you are going to have you hands full'! Really? No sh*t sherlock! This is they way we planned it, and we are going to cope just fine thanks :)
:laughing: like we didnt already know LOL do we really look that stupid:banghead:

[Melo]

:laughing: like we didnt already know LOL do we really look that stupid:banghead:

I know!! Its crazy, people have even said to my step-dad that they dont think that I will cope... For god sakes these narrow minded people DONT LIVE IN MY HOUSE, how the hell are they meant to know what goes on?

My child is always clean, fed and loved. I shouldnt have to prove myself to these people.

[Mum&bubs]

How do you know people are thinking this?
I think alot of you girls just assume people are thinking things they are not actually thinking at all, just because someone looks at you does not mean they are thinking negative things about your parenting skills.

What I found to be the hardest part of being a young mum was the loneliness, whilst I am now surrounded by other woman at the same stage of their lives as me, when I had my first son I knew no other mums and so I felt like I was missing out all the time because all my friends were going out and partying.

Its not really about guessing what they are 'thinking'. Its alot of the questions I've got from some people e.g 'do u know the father' 'are u still with the father' things like that.

[*Chels*]

I have to say,I dont find anything hard
Noone has ever given me dirty looks or comments,I gave up my party lifestyle but my friends all stood by me.I love being a mum and I love being young.
So just celebrate it girls and dont worry bout what anyone else thinks!!!

[jazajess]

im a young mummy..19....i think its hard 4 people to understand that were not babys like when i was 13 i was like im so much older but now i look at a 15 yr old and think that was so long ago.....iykwim

i get alot of those looks and people saying "what about school" and "what about work"....

[FourAngelKisses]

Today I saw a young mum in the supermarket who unfortunately gives all of us (well, I'm not one now) young mums a bad name. She must have been about 16-17 and had a little girl who would have been 2 or 3. The poor thing was just being a regular toddler, looking at things (mum kept walking and leaving her behind) and then her mum would yell at her to stop it and to hurry up. She was swearing at her and dragging her by the arm and really yelling so the whole shop could hear. It was so sad and I really felt sorry for the girl for having to put up with a mum like that. If she had put her daughter in the trolley or at least had her hold on to the side (or even just made sure she didn't leave her behind!!) then she wouldn't have been looking at things and touching stuff.

No matter how tired and cranky I am, I never speak to my children like they are pieces of garbage.

[LittleBoysRock]

I think the hardest thing is not being as well established as other Mums. For example: DH and I dont have our own home and we are still trying to buy nice furniture...we aren't completely set yet.