View Full Version : Changing DD's surname???
Samantha83
16-09-2006, 14:51
My DSD's mother wants to change her last name to her new boyfriends...??? Despite the fact that this is really upsetting my DH, I don't understand what it is supposed to prove. She has her enrolled at her school with the last name of her boyfriend which unfortunately is legal, but now she wants to go to court to get it change permanently. I'm just having alot of trouble understanding why. Are there any step mum's out there who have come across something like this before or any Mum's who have done the same thing - all i wanted to know is if someone could shed some light on as to why?? :confused:
Hi :wave:
First off, what she has done is not legal at all, you are not allowed to enrol a child in school under any name other than their legal one, and it needs to be the one either on the birth certificate or you must produce legal documents to prove that it has been changed, if I were your DH I would be ringing the school and asking how this has been allowed to happen.
Second of all, just because her mother wants to do this, does not mean it has to happen, he is within his rights to refuse her request and if he does refuse there is nothing she can do about it.
Her mother is playing silly games and its only going to confuse her DD in the long run, who goes and changes their childs name to that of some BFs? Tell you DH to stand his ground so that at least your DSD surname will be one stable thing she has.
xx
just as coopsntilly said if he refuses there is nothing she can do
if both the mother and father's name are on her birth certificate, then both parents need to sign and authorise any 'change of name forms' lodged. so she cannot change it without the child's father's consent, which obviously he is not going to give.
plus she cannot legally enrol her at school with a different surname. It has to be the legal name of the child!
how frustrating!!! i would MAYBE understand if she remarried and was in a very serious long term relationship and maybe having children with new husband etc, but still I think she should still stay with her father's surname!
mythreelittlemonkeys
16-09-2006, 19:37
gosh that is such a vile thing to do...my DH ex has threatened to do this change name thing with last boyfriend who by the way was abusive and hated the kids it really hurt my husband...but now the boyfriend is out of scene...she (the ex) is tragically :D ( we learnt from DSD) left with a tatoo of Mischa on her bottom god we laughed when we heard :D
munchkin05
16-09-2006, 22:06
if both the mother and father's name are on her birth certificate, then both parents need to sign and authorise any 'change of name forms' lodged. so she cannot change it without the child's father's consent, which obviously he is not going to give.
plus she cannot legally enrol her at school with a different surname. It has to be the legal name of the child!
if both parents are on the birth certificate then they both need to sign to change the name ( i looked into it )
but the ex can go to court to get it changed but she will have to have a bloody good reason to do so
MummyCharmzy
16-09-2006, 23:41
both definitely need to sign for this one!! Wow thats a horrible thing to do! From what I know tho if it did go to court the 'best' she could get it changed to is a hyphenated surname.. as far as I know they wouldnt just change it from one to the other, that would be the compromise. Still highly unlikely tho!
Samantha83
17-09-2006, 11:23
It is illegal to change her name at births deaths and marriages without both parents signatures, that is fraud, but it is perfectly legal to enroll her at her school, childcare, playcare and montrose as Snow White if she wanted to, despite what her birth certificate says. We are actually going to court to get an order saying we don't want her to do this on Tuesday, which is the only way we can get her to stop, hopefully it doesn't drag on too much. Despite all this, her mother has told her that her name has changed and when asked she quotes the last name of the mothers ex. It must be confusing for her, hopefully we'll get it sorted out. Her last 3 assessments have been under different surnames (my DH's, the mothers and the mothers boyfriends). :(
:fingerscrossed: it gets sorted out soon, i was just looking for some insight as to her reasons for doing this so as to understand the situation better. When we asked her, all she says is "it'll be better in the long run"???
grubindi
18-09-2006, 21:03
My DSD's mother wants to change her last name to her new boyfriends...??? Despite the fact that this is really upsetting my DH, I don't understand what it is supposed to prove. She has her enrolled at her school with the last name of her boyfriend which unfortunately is legal, but now she wants to go to court to get it change permanently. I'm just having alot of trouble understanding why. Are there any step mum's out there who have come across something like this before or any Mum's who have done the same thing - all i wanted to know is if someone could shed some light on as to why?? :confused:
well if she wants to change it legally and he agrees he then gets them to agree to release parental rights for the child and therefore will never pay child support for the child again and if the boyfriend and her split then he is the one who pays it,. so tell them that they may rethink it
What happens when the boyfriend is out of the picture and she gets another one... does she keep changing her daughter's surname??
Whats the go with hypenated surnames? Do both names have to be used or can a child be known as just one of the surnames? :confused: For example if Mary's last name was Lloyd-Jones could she be known as Mary Jones or does both names have to be used if its hypenated?
Sorry for going on about something nearly irrelevant - but I have been meaning to ask about hypenated names and keep forgetting...
Emma :)
Baby Girl
19-09-2006, 15:45
First off, what she has done is not legal at all, you are not allowed to enrol a child in school under any name other than their legal one, and it needs to be the one either on the birth certificate or you must produce legal documents to prove that it has been changed, if I were your DH I would be ringing the school and asking how this has been allowed to happen.
Second of all, just because her mother wants to do this, does not mean it has to happen, he is within his rights to refuse her request and if he does refuse there is nothing she can do about it.Hate to tell you but it is legal. I was enrolled at school under my step dad's name and all was legal and okay and it wasn't until I got my passport when I was about 14 that we changed it with the births, deaths and marriages office. It was kind of like an AKA (also known as) .... rather than a change of name. She doesn't have to get his say so for it either. If the child is known by a certain name for a number of years and the mother can get stat dec's from teachers, doctors, friends to say that is the case then she can get it changed without the fathers consent. Once again, I don't think changed is the right term but "known as" might be more accurate, although I actually have it as "nee" on my birth certificate which is the term they use when you change your name when you get married.
By the way - I am not saying it is right in every situation, just sharing what I know about it.
Samantha83
20-09-2006, 12:10
DH and I went to court yesterday about it and got an interim order against it, so she has to now go back to all DSD's schools and change the name back or she could get into alot of trouble. Also going to go for 50/50 custody in December. Yay! :D , the judge we got was very pro Dad and apparently the laws have recently changed in big favour of the dad's making more custody alot easier.
That is great news!!
It is weird, I was told when I enrolled my DS at his new school that they could only enrol him by the name on his birth certificate (I enquired if it were possible for him to be enrolled under the name that he was soon to be, but was not yet, if that makes any sense!) so I assumed it was like that everywhere, best of luck to you guys! :)
schmell im with you on this. my daughter starts at an early learning center next year and she has my last name as i wasnt married when i had her. once we're married it'll be changed to hubbys however she does dancing & swimming under his last name and she's enrolled in school under his name. completely legal- well it is in WA.
kinda rough on the fathers that are IN their kids lives but completely understandable for those mums who have moved on and its a long term relationship AND the child sees the person as dad. personally i think they should atleast be married so the mother has the same last name otherwise why change your childs??
goodluck with everything though. im glad your partner is still in his childs life.
MrsDribbleDrawers
07-10-2006, 13:44
My DD has her father's name and mine on her birth certificate, but has used my name solely since enrolling at school. As the name isn't hyphenated, it is perfectly legal... we could enrol her as Donald Duck if we want to, and as long as the school has a copy of her birth certificate, and is aware of her name and chooses to accept the enrolment, it is legal.
My DSS is starting school next year. We will be changing his name to mine at a later date (I put my foot down, didn't take DH's name, don't think the world needs more "Smith's", no offence!). His name is hyphenated, so difficult to drop one, although he is well known at school as my son!
At age twelve, the child's views will be taken in to consideration by a court (just mediated that ex will not discuss names with DD until she is twelve, and her decision will be abided by.), but both parents must sign change of name paperwork if they appear on the birth certificate. At age 18 she can do whatever she wants.
Try not to make too big an issue. Yess the mother has strange ideas constantly changing her DD's name when a new man comes along, but at the end of the day, you should be supporting your DSD and what she wants, not stressing about something that is out of your control. Help your DSD retain her identity by staying in her life and supporting her however that may be.
Cate
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