Please Help!! Uncontrollable Behaviour.

[BlessedWithBlue]

I'm sitting here in a flood of tears wondering why the h** i got a child like this :( his behaviour i thought was improving as we have started a sticker chart and it has been great for the past 2 weeks until today.
I'm about to lose my mind and i have no clue what to do about it now, So far he has slammed his little brother's fingers in the door numerous times today, told me he hates me and is going to kill me, he has been hitting me, when i put him in his room for time out he started throwing his bedroom furniture at the door and walls. He yells in my face and i honestly feel like i'm at the end and i can't take it anymore. I love him to death and he has always been a good boy but in the past 2 months his behaviour has been uncontrollable and i just can't understand where it's coming from.

Can anyone help with what to do i am at my wits end, sorry for the gloomy post but i don't know where else to go to for advice but my bubhub friends.

Anything would greatly help

[Jenko]

Oh Rachael, i don't have any magic answers for you, but i think you need some of these :hugs: :hugs:

Pregnancy hormones certainly don't help you at a time like this. Can you try and put his fav movie on or something like that for the moment until you can calm down a little. I know it sounds like your rewarding him, but sometimes we need to pick our battles and you sound very upset. I think your frame of mind is more important than teaching him a lesson atm.

I really hope things start looking better for you soon. :hugs:

[AM]

Have you tried asking him if there is anything upsetting him?
Does he have much of a concept of the fact that he will have two more siblings soon?
Maybe he is feeling apprehensive about it and is trying to make sure he gets a lot of attention from you, is he feeling insecure?
When my 2 and a half year old is uncontrollable, I try to make a really big effort to structure something for him, somewhere for him to channel the energy into, playgroup, the park, just kicking ball around, whatever really.

I hope you have a better day tomorrow! hugs!

[DQ]

My almost 8 year old is going through something similar at the moment.

I am about to see my GP to get a referral for my local community health centre. They have child psycologists (sp?) that are trained in behavioural management. It is my only option atm because I do not agree with medicating, well not for my son at least.

We are also looking at changing his school, but that is another issue entirely.

Good luck and :fingerscrossed: things improve for the both of us!

[rainbowbaby]

Just wanted to give you these :hugs: :hugs:

I don't know what you should do, I do agree with Mel that the pregnancy hormones really don't help, I have the same thing with my :devil6: daughter, god she can act up something chronic at the moment! Maybe it is because another one is on the way and they are already sensing it, I really don't know I can just send some wishes that it gets a bit better and a little easier for you. I know some days mine is so feral one day and is an absolute angel to the point you cry because you are so proud of her! Good luck :fingerscrossed:

[wattle]

Have you had a look at the preservatives in his diet? I have stopped giving ds 102, 110, 124 and 122 as they all contribute to tantrums and bad behaviour. I noticed an almost instant change in him. He still throws a wobbly from time to time but that's pretty normal for a 19 month old.

I'd imagine it's a combination of things for your ds, but the diet is something that's relatively easy to change straight away.

The preservatives I listed have all been BANNED in Finland and Austria, and have restricted use in many other european countries.

[BlessedWithBlue]

Thanks for the hugs :)
Mel- yes i definately agree my preggo hormones seem to be making it harder atm.
Angie- I actually enrolled him in Pre School yesterday and his teacher said that until he is ready to start pre entry we can take him to play group at the pre school when we please, so we are going to start next week!
I know he can't wait to go lol.
He seems to know that he will have 2 new siblings soon and he loves to hear their heartbeats and always grabs the fetal listener and says "me listen to our babies"

He doesn't seem to have the attention span to actually sit and watch a movie things only seem to hold his interest for maybe 15-20 mins maximum he seems to get distracted very easily and he gets bored very quickly.
Well right at the moment he is sitting right next to me and his behaviour has slowed in the last 30 mins but he still seems to be all over the place.
I guess i'm gonna have a coffee and when the kids go to bed i will have a nice relaxing bath to try and actually calm down a bit.

Thanks again, your reassurance and hugs did a world of good especially when i'm df is at work and i'm on my own with the boys.

[BlessedWithBlue]

Wattle- I had actually thought about his diet being the problem but i may just venture further into it and see if excluding anything helps the behaviour.

[babyboo]

My DD's behaviour was gettn pretty difficult a little while ago (she is 3) and i have since taken her off foods with preservatives (or VERY limited) and buy 'no artificial colours/flavours'.

I have found a HUGE difference in her behaviour. You really should try it. Those nasty little preservatives do bad things to our little kiddies.

Good luck with it. Let us know how its going.

[Elfin]

I totally agree with the preservative thing. For some children preservatives have a big impact on behaviour, I cut 282 an anti mould preservative out of my dds diet and it made a big difference. Her grandma accidently gave her some bread containing this preservative recently and she was wild for a few days afterwards.

The other thing you could try is fish oil. You can buy pleasantly flavoured capsules for kids, it is called Kid Smart and I buy mine from Coles. However, I think it has been in such demand that you can't get it ATM, but still look out for it as they should have more supplies soon. It takes about 6-8 weeks to work but some people claim it really helps poor behaviour.

[BlessedWithBlue]

Thanks all! Well df and i have had a long talk about it and we have his Child and Youth Health 3 year check up and we will bring it up and see if we can get some more ideas from the cyh nurse or possible a referral to see someone tha tcan help us if it continues. So far it has been an ok day but it's only 1.30pm and df has only left to go to work so we'll see.
We are going grocery shopping over the weekend and in the meantime i intend to do some research and shop accordingly to see if it helps his behaviour.

Thanks again for the suggestions and support, i was a complete mess yesterday but am a bit more optimistic about things today.

[Cheekychops]

Here's a start.....

http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/information/Food_Additives_Ref_Card.pdf#search=%22food%20addit ives%20to%20avoid%22

:thumbsup:

[2s'nuff]

Here's a start.....

http://www.fedupwithfoodadditives.info/information/Food_Additives_Ref_Card.pdf#search=%22food%20addit ives%20to%20avoid%22

:thumbsup:

I'd definiately recommend you having a look at Sue's website/books/DVD. Since cutting out the preservatives and additived listed in the nasty list from DD's diet, she has less of her moody days and hissy fits. And when she does I can usually tie it back to something she has eaten. Has really opened my eyes and calmed things down in our household.

[BlessedWithBlue]

Thank for the link!!
Actually you know what, that day was pure hell and i have been experimenting with his food and cutting out different things and he hasn't been an angel by any means but his behaviour has been a lot more controllable and doesn't seem to get so bratty. Df's mum was giving non stop cordial to my kids to drink when they went there and it made ds1 crazy for a few days:eek: and my grandma and my mum don't help as they give my kids nothing but fizzy drinks when they go there against my wishes but they just tell me i'm mean and it won't hurt him. We have never actually allowed him to have more than a few sips of cordial at home and on special occasions he is allowed half a cup of fizz mixed with water. But he is usually happy with just drinking water and milk and doesn't usually ask for anything else or if he does he quickly forgets about it it.

I have changed the bread we buy now and by stopping him from going to df's mum's house every weekend like he used to and only letting him go once a fortnight i have seen a dramatic improvement in his behaviour.
He still gets naughty towards the end of the day but i am only finding myself reminding him once or twice and not keep repeating myself through the whole day. In turn my ds2 has calmed down as he used to copy everything that ds1 did so it was doubly frustrating at times.

Thanks everyone for your replies and suggestions! i don't feel so stressed any more and df and i haven't had any arguments or been snappy with each other since ds has calmed down. Wow i didn't realise that a child's behaviour can also take a toll on the parental relationship:eek:

Sorry for the novel lol but thanks again:hugs: