View Full Version : ~Autism~
A Party of Five
How close a friend is she? Alot of parents are in denial when it comes to Autisim, eventually they come around but it is a hard subject to bring up, but his symptoms do sound like he could be on the autistic spectrum, if she is a very good friend I think I would have to say something as early intervention makes a huge difference with these kids, my DD has Asperges and her preschool brought this to my attention when she was 3 and I must say I was taken aback but I went away did my research and got help, she is now 6 and functions very well and unless you knew what you were looking for and spent quiet some time with her you would not know.
But as I said early intervention is the key!
Thats a hard one but if the child does have autism it is important to get help earlier in the childs life to help them adapt.
You don't want to offend them by saying anything but you want to help them.
You could say some one said to you about it.
Good luck its a hard one
I wouldn't mention it. Even if the person at the birthday party was some kind of expert, it really isn't her place to be diagnosing children when they are at a social gathering. If your friend's DS does have autism it will likely be picked up at kinder or school. Autism is hard to diagnose in children so young. Your friend may know deep down that there is something wrong with her DS, and in her own time, she will seek help. Kinders and schools usually let parents know if they suspect something may be wrong, and it's probably best coming from them. Your friend may end up upset with you if you tell her.
I know of a young child (preschool age) who still cannot talk properly. We can never understand what he is saying. We never said anything because his mother was quite sensitive about it, and saying things only upset her. In the end, it was picked up by a kinder teacher who recommended he get speech therapy. His mother took the news quite well because it was from a third party, not a family member or friend.
If she is your best friend tell her your thoughts, ok she may be p***ed off at first but will get over it and Autisim is not hard to diagnose at 3 ADHD on the other hand is. Remember this little boy has to start school in a couple of years and if he has problems the quicker they can get onto them the better.
Ummmmm....this is a hard one. I guess you could just say nothing and pretend nothing ever happened, but even though she might be angry at first I think she would appreciate knowing earlier as autism can be managed very well and maybe it would help her to know there is a reson for her childs behavior, if she is wondering why he might be difficult etc.
I guess I would want to know but being the person to tell her would be tough...:hugs:
All good advice :thumbsup: You're in a really difficult position, because no matter what path you choose to take, it will probably hurt your friend.
Shell13 - I'm all for early intervention, I was merely saying that it can be detrimental for a child to be labelled as autistic if they are too young. There is a broad spectrum, and this child may be at the far end of it. Autism is difficult to diagnose at any age because there are so many different degrees and types.
Parents know their own child best. Often in cases such as this, the mother may already have an inkling that things aren't right. I guess it depends on how close you are to the friend. I would tell my sisters and my closest friends, but would bite my tongue around others. How do I know that they aren't already seeking help?
A good diagnosie and assesment team can diagnose Autisim quite early on and having been through the whole process with my daughter I have to say I am most greatful it was bought to my attention at such an early stage. I have also met alot of other parents in the same situation as myself and all agree knowlerdge is power.
If I were in your shoes, I would say something like;
Has anyone ever said anything to you about ...'s behaviour possibly being linked to Autism?
Look, this is really hard for me, and I did struggle with whether to mention anything or not, but I just didn't feel right keeping it from you.
Then explain exactly what happened at the party.
(Frankly, unless the person who told you was a close personal friend of yours & didn't know your other friend particularly well, I think it was downright inappropriate of her to even mention it to you! Why would she not have broached the subject with the child's parents if she had genuine concerns?)
There is an Autism Association of Australia, incuding offices in each state.
If you Google Autism Association, you will get the state listings also.
This would be the best place to start as they can give your friend info and contacts to be able to get a diagnosis & if necessary, treatment.
I started out with an organisation called possum cottage they are in Sydney it helps mothers with problem babies and toddlers/preschoolers, there my DD and myself had a 2 hour session with a child phycologist she refered me to a good paediatrician a speech therapist and also a place called Kograh Diagnostic and is part of the St George Hospital in Sydney, they are experts at diagnosing Autistic Spectrum Disorders, from there I started on the road to diagnosis and alot of much needed help.
PM me if you like and we can chat, I know how hard this must be for you.
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