vicious 2 year old - desperate

[fiveofus]

Hi,

I am in tears after taking my almost 2 year old son to a new friends place where he has bitten one child and scratched another. This is not a new thing. He has been scratching/biting/hitting/pushing etc for quite some time (at least 6 mths or more). My 8 week old baby nearly lost an eyeball last night and was lucky to come away with just a scratch across his nose. I just don't understand it as one minute he is cuddling/being gentle and the next he just lashes out. The child care centre say it is just teething (he is a late/slow teether) but it is just ridiculous. Any time we are out with other children I can't relax and just trust him. People keep reassuring me he will grow out of it but we may have no friends with children left by then.
We have tried time-out over and over, resorted to smacking and even bitten him back (very hard to do!!) We always make sure he sees what he has done to the other person and apologises but we are getting NOWHERE!! We have stopped all rough play with him, talk to him endlessly about being gentle etc but it just goes in one ear, we give him lots of positives and cuddles etc. I just don't know what to do.........we are not at all like this (and don't think he really is as he can be the best little boy most of the time) and I find it very upsetting.:crying:

Bec :banghead:

[annsam]

Im sorry I have no advice but :hugs: to you. It must be very hard when you have tried everything you can think of.

[tomtom]

My son did the same thing. I couldn't take my eyes off him at mothers group. He would just go a bite other kids and hit them and us as well. That was when he was about 12 mths. If he bit me I would say "no" sternly and move him away from where I was, and also do this when he bit other kids. He didn't like it one bit. It took some time but we were consistant. Now he is 18 mths and is starting again so we are doing the same thing. I think it does have something to do with teething because it seems to happen at those times. He has also been slow with his teeth.

[pickles]

my Daughter was exactly the same at that age. this is what we did - if she hit / bit another child i would rush to the other child cuddle them taking them over to their mum and paying all the attention to the other child. I would then quietly say "we dont ...... " then take my daughter and sit her in the naughty corner - no eye contact , no yelling , nothing. This worked really quickly because she no longer got the reaction from me and the other child got the hugs etc.
By 2 and 1/4 we would recite - today we are going to be nice to the kids , no hitting / biting in the car on the way. If she was nice to the kids there would be a treat in the car for the way home ( a fruit drink etc ).
Good Luck
Pickles
DD 02/03
DS 03/05

[MrsMiggins]

I read a fantastic article recently about toddlers biting & hitting.

I actually replied to a thread yesterday about something similar quoting the article, but the thread was about younger children. I've copied & pasted the relevant bits for you though.

I hope this helps!!


We have a great free parenting mag up here called Kids on the Coast & this montht hey had a very good article about biting & hitting.

It was a fantastic article, as it really made you understand why it is that children hit & bite.

Basically it said that young children have yet to learn self-control, and also experience a great deal of frustration.

(As quoted from the article)




Put yourself into her sandals for a jiffy. She thinks "I want to do it myself, but everything is too big & too high. I don't know the words to get what I need and want. My gums are hurting and now my eye-popping new toy has been snatched away and I want it back. I am angry and confused and I want action. i know "crunch!"


As you know sometimes it can take a great deal of self control when you are very angry or frustrated and you feel like hitting someone. As adults we have learned to control this (well, most of us!) Young children don't have this kind of self control. Add to that the tactile nature of biting or hitting, and you can see that it is a natural thing for young children to do.

The article suggests you take action immediately if your child has bitten or hit someone. Speak to them in a firm voice "No! We don't hit/bite. Hitting/biting hurts!" and remove the child.

It also says it is important to pay more attention to the victim than the culprit, as this shows compassion & teaches your child that they can't use this sort of behaviour to get attention. Perhaps take the child to get some ice to put on his/her friend's arm.

Also, don't let the child profit from the attack. Don't let them keep the toy that they got through aggression.

It says to remember that there is no malicious intent when a one-year old bites, but that they just have to be guided and learn better ways to express their anger and frustration.

[fiveofus]

Thanks!!!

I will definateley try giving more attention to the 'victim'!! :fingerscrossed: