View Full Version : Need some advice for a friend. WARNING MAY BE DISTRESSING.
So, I need some advice to help a friend out. He is a single father of a 3.5 year old boy. The mother has a long history of drug and alcohol abuse, she has 2 other children, girl 9 and boy 7 who live with their father in another state.
My friend met her, fell for her story, and started a relationship with her, her moving from other state to live with him in his house. She was actively trying to get pregnant to my friend, and did, they got married, but after 2 years of trying to make it work for his child he could not stand the fights and her constant drug and alcohol abuse. So he kicked her out and ended up getting custody of the child, she does get a good amount of access though, about 40%.
She now lives with her new boyfriend, she is under a court order to not drink when she has her son in her care, though we all know this is not being adhered to. Her older children come to stay with her at new boyfriends house for a week over each school holiday and longer over the summer break.
My friend's mother is trying to get residency here, she is english, so she can be around to help with her grandson. A few weeks ago, the grandmother was caring for the boy, he needed to go to the toilet, she helped him to pull his pants down and left him to do his business. after about half an hour she went to see what was taking him so long. She asked thru the door if he was OK, he replied with 'Yes, I'm just playing with myself.' She was shocked to say the least. Anyway she spoke to him about it and he revealed that his older half brother had taught him how to do it, he also revealed that the other boy would sometimes put his penis in the younger boys mouth but that it was OK because he doesnt swallow his wee. The grandmother was horrified. She spoke to the mother about this and the mother fobbed it off as if it wasnt important. The grandmother understands kids will be kids and was angry about the mother not properly supervising the children. The mother still does not acknowledge that there is a problem here.
Anyway my friend is not sure what to do about this. Should he go to the police, the local MCHN.....? He spoke to his solicitor about it and they said there is not much they can do. Does anyone have any advise I can give to him about where to turn? The boy idolizes the older boy but he does not want them to spend any time alone together esp not in the bath where this and other things, dunking the head of the little boy, have been taking place. He is angry that the mother seems to not care about this and is afraid that if he doesnt do anything the boy could suffer more or the mother could use it some how against him as she is a master manipulator.
Myztiks#1Fan
27-02-2011, 10:30
First step i would go and speak to the police about it. There is no excuses for this to be happening and really sorry to hear of your friends son being abused but the other boy is being abused as well quite obviously.
So please get your friend to speak to the police about it
Sent from my GT-I9000T
Heartbreaking, just heartbreaking. I have spent many years working with children who have experienced this and so have some knowledge to draw on.
The father and grandmother must take action, not only for the safety of the little boy, but also the other children who, although they are not responsible for, are still children who need protection.
Going to the police is important. Police are required to make a report to childrens services. They could go to childrens services themselves, but they could take a long time to be actioned, the police will be faster.
Once the report is made, they can then also go to the solicitor and ask for a temporary change to visits until the matter is investigated, meaning visits could be stopped.
It is also important to find a good childrens sexual abuse counselor. Many will say the child is too young, but keep looking, you will find someone. Its super important that the matter is discussed appropriately, as the risk is massive for long term damage.
First and foremost, report to police. This is very serious. It is not a phase children go through (touching is normal between two children around this young age) but when one child is significantly older and the acts are very sexual, it is abuse and must be reported. The older boy will not be in trouble with the law (too young) but will be given access to counseling and education.
Please report asap.
J xx
What a horrible situation :(.
I really think his solicitor should have been more helpful. They could have pointed him in the right direction.
What is happeniing to this young boy is sexual abuse. Regardless of the age of the older boy, something should be done and quickly.
I think its something that may need to be bought to the attention of Child Protection and possible the police as well.
sandy cheeks
27-02-2011, 10:46
I would report it to the police. ASAP
That is abuse and for the protection of all the kids involved it should be reported.
Bluefiretail
27-02-2011, 11:01
Hello, I'm a case manager for full-time out of home care children - children who are in permanent care of the state.
This is 100% a helpline report... Which means it needs to be reported to DoCS - who are now referred to as the CSC - childrens services centres.
The best way to do the report, is to firstly have Dad (as primary approved carer) report the situation and everything word for word that he knows, THEN have grandma make a second report - making sure to mention mum's reaction, or lack thereof, to the situation.
It's important to do it in this order, so they know dad takes the care of his children very seriously. Then the grandma's report to show that the father's entire family are supoprtive of appropriate care of the children.
The CSC WILL investigate, and the father will be viewed in a positive light as the reporter, and will NOT risk losing the kids...
I have a lot of experience with stories like this, please let me know if you need any advice or help.
Oh, and he needs a new solicitor! That man can be held accountable for not recommending reporting this!!
:( so terribly sad :(:(
the police is the first course of action. they will bring a social worker in and talk to the boy etc. the mother ignoreing this is setting her children up to need many many years of therapy because they will understand one day that she knew about it and didn't believe them, or just doesnt care enough to stop it.
the boy who is doing the abusing, also needs to be investigated to see if he is being abused himself, no 7 year old just magically comes up with the idea of oral sex. :(
no doubt the little girl will also be experiencing abuse as well..
shocking situation.
please urge your friend to contact the autorities. it's a load of poop what he has been told by his councilor...what the hell? how does a professional tell someone that nothing can be done? of course something can be done!
Thanks for the replies. I'll let him know to go to the cops.
This did happen about 2 weeks ago, they just havent known what to do. Do you think it will be a problem?
The Police AND Child Protection and also ring your states Sexual Assualt Line as they will be able to give advice as to counselling services. And as PP have said also get his lawyer to organise restricted access until this is acted upon
I was at a conference yesterday where they were talking about the growing problem of children acting sexually inappropritately towards other children and how counselling sevices are fast filling up with children from 3 upwards to help work on these behaviours. As someone else said, its not only your friends son but they other boy who is at risk here. Someone has taught that older child to act like this. If they have access to him then who is to say that person will not move on to your friends son as well.
NO the timeframe should not be an issue
And I agree with Bluefiretail I can not believe his solicitor brushed this off!!!:no::no::no:
Hello, I'm a case manager for full-time out of home care children - children who are in permanent care of the state.
This is 100% a helpline report... Which means it needs to be reported to DoCS - who are now referred to as the CSC - childrens services centres.
The best way to do the report, is to firstly have Dad (as primary approved carer) report the situation and everything word for word that he knows, THEN have grandma make a second report - making sure to mention mum's reaction, or lack thereof, to the situation.
It's important to do it in this order, so they know dad takes the care of his children very seriously. Then the grandma's report to show that the father's entire family are supoprtive of appropriate care of the children.
The CSC WILL investigate, and the father will be viewed in a positive light as the reporter, and will NOT risk losing the kids...
I have a lot of experience with stories like this, please let me know if you need any advice or help.
Oh, and he needs a new solicitor! That man can be held accountable for not recommending reporting this!!
Do you mean there is a line he can call for this?
Bluefiretail
27-02-2011, 11:44
Yes hon, the helpline is for all cases of suspected neglect or abuse - it's 132111.
C38 is right- timeframe won't be an issue - yes, they like things to be reported ASAP, but are glad to have you report it at all.
If you'd like to check with the police, that's good too, but the federal police service are what's known as 'mandatory reporters' - which means they are BY LAW required to report any cases where a child or young person is at risk of significant harm, abuse or neglect. Yes, they will bring in a social worker, but they will also make a helpline report.
Mandatory reporters include, but are not limited to, school teachers and support staff, police, all hospital staff, welfare agencies, child care centres and LAWYERS - your friend's solicitor clearly didn't read that memo ;0)
As I said, I'm a case manager, of some of the most serious cases in Australia, and I STILL have to report any issued to the helpline - even though I am a trained child psych and case manager....
Let me know if you need anything, and good on you for asking for advice!! The world needs more people like you to look out for kids in these situations!! Xx
Pippy the Hippo
17-03-2011, 10:12
Hey Azurial....
What happened with this..? I hope your friend has sought out the proper help and something is changing to ensure this does not continue.
Please give your friend and his kids some :hugs: for me. x
What a sad story, Az I really hope something has been done about this :( I'm fairly sure parents have a legal responsibility to report child s3xual abuse..
I hope your friend can get that poor boy out of that horrible home and safe for good. I've heard all the arguments for non-custodial parental rights and blah blah blah but in situations as serious as this IMO children are better with the parent with whom they are safe 100% of the time. I hope your friend can find the courage to fight for this boy and get him away from those awful people :(:hugs:
luvmyboys
17-03-2011, 10:32
You have been given some good advice. I just wanted to add that there are different numbers for different states and if they are living in another state they should probably report it to each state (although states may have info sharing) for Victoria the info is here (http://www.childwise.net/self_help_guide/victoria.php) and if you click on the links on the left hand side it shows you info for all of the other states. Hope they have had some help.
waterlily
17-03-2011, 11:14
I really hope your friend reported this!!
I meant to update a few days ago..... but as usual got sidetracked.
Anyway, he has reported it to the local police, a female officer who has done plenty of study in social work interviewed my friend, his mother and her partner, who live with my friend and the boy. She managed to get it out of the poor little guy as well. The father of the other boy who lives in another state has been notified and interviewed also. He wasnt to happy about it but was willing to help and get to the bottom of it. The mother, on the other hand, who mind you does not have full time custody of any of her 3 children, told the police woman to F OFF, that it was none of anyones business and that my friends mother is making it all up. The police woman was not very impressed with her attitude and now has a mission to get to the bottom of it.
I have not queried whats going on since 2 sundays ago, want to give them their space and time, but I am pretty confident that the boy is getting the help he needs as is the other boy.
Thanks for all your concerns and advice. :highfive:
waterlily
17-03-2011, 11:43
That's fantastic news! I'm so relieved the father reported it!!
Your a good friend!!
trishalishous
17-03-2011, 12:49
im glad its being investigated!
Update,
Ok so the school holidays are here and still nothing has been done, the grandmother called Docs or csc and they told her there is no record of a report from the police. The father asked his solicitor to get some interim orders in place regarding the mother having the boy while the older boy is with her on the holidays and was told it cant be done. So it looks like the mother will have both boys and her elder daughter for about a week together over the holidays. Hope she keeps a better eye on them this time!!! :gonnagetit:
I had the grandmother over this morning so I urged her to call the hotline and find out if they have a record of it and if not to report it to them. The original police officer said she was under oath to report it so I hope she has. The father is getting more and more depressed the longer it drags out and is sick with worry about his son going to stay with the older boy for a week.
I really really feel like tearing this womans head off!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRR, not my business, not my business!!!
Can anyone give me some advice on how to word a document to the solicitor re their negligence in taking this seriously or getting the interim orders in place?
bubbaboyandbump
14-04-2011, 14:20
Are there any family court orders in place in regards to custody now? I know you said mum had 40% but is this by personal agreement or actual court order? If it's personal agreement your friend can just refuse to send his son, then she would be required to go to the family court in which case all the sexual abuse info will come up. It would then take some time so at least your friend will know his son is safe in the immediate future.
If there is a court order I think your friend can also refuse to send him and then she would have to lodge with the family court that he is failing to adhere to prior orders and he can claim that he is very concerned for the welfare of his son for those reasons and that the incident is under police investigation. Not sure what the legal ramifications for breaching a family court order are, your friend would have to speak to his solicitor before doing this but to be honest, if I were in this situation I would do whatever it took to keep my son safe.
Get your friend to keep contacting child protection. If they are not aware of the report make it known.. Give police report number, officer name and station and contact details or even get the police officer to contact them again. Also when you call child protection make sure you take down the date and time an who you spoke to so they are accountable. Keep pushing it, unfortunately sometimes things that shouldn't may fall through the cracks.
The fact that the mum is minimizing the incident is a huge warning sign for me. It shows that she is unlikely to be protective and let the behavior continue behind her back. If she were accepting of the situation ad working with the police and rest of the family I would feel much better about it all.
Is it possible to get the son some counseling and into an education program so that he learns what is appropriate and what is not? At least he will be able to better recognise and vocalise these things in the future. If you google protective behaviours Australia you will find some info. I know the WA one is very very good but not sure for other states.
As I said before, if this were my son I would not be sending him under any circumstances unless I knew without any worry that my child would be 150% completely safe. Sorry if this is a bit long winded and hard to understand, I am on my phone which makes editing difficult! Feel free to pm me if you need any more advice. I have worked in child protection for a number of years.
bubbaboyandbump
14-04-2011, 14:23
Oh and I don't think the solicitor is able to do much.. The only thing he could do is refer the natter to the family court but this process is very drawn out and will take time. Child protective services in your state are the only ones able to take out orders like that, you need to follow I up with them. On saying that they will only take out orders if absolutely necessary an will try and work with the family to develop a safety plan first. They will only consider care and protection orders if mum downright refuses to help and let's contact between the kids continue unsupervised.
The mother is a right piece of work, alcoholic, ex- junkie and prostitute, she has the 2 other children who live with their father in another state and now this one. She is a failed actress, due to her drug addiction, so she is constantly chasing any drama she can find/create, coveting what others have and neglecting her children in favour of a good time!!! Makes me sooooooo mad!!!
My friend was just another sucker to her, he is devastated as he had looked forever for a girl and ended up with her, so now he's a 40 year old single dad of a 3 year old ,with a nightmare ex who knows every trick in the book.
Parenting orders are in place but he is hesitant to go against them for fear of it reflecting badly on him. Seems to me his solicitor is just taking his cash and not really helping him at all, in this and the divorce settlement process..... but thats another story.
Geees can you tell how much I despise this woman???? Thanks for the advise too x
Dad4life
17-04-2011, 10:12
:( so terribly sad :(:(
the police is the first course of action. they will bring a social worker in and talk to the boy etc. the mother ignoreing this is setting her children up to need many many years of therapy because they will understand one day that she knew about it and didn't believe them, or just doesnt care enough to stop it.
the boy who is doing the abusing, also needs to be investigated to see if he is being abused himself, no 7 year old just magically comes up with the idea of oral sex. :(
no doubt the little girl will also be experiencing abuse as well..
shocking situation.
please urge your friend to contact the autorities. it's a load of poop what he has been told by his councilor...what the hell? how does a professional tell someone that nothing can be done? of course something can be done!
I'm just putting a theory out there, but I read a article the other day about how kids are watching porn at really young ages and how its a seriously bad way for them to be educated about sex and how the porn industry gives a false image blah blah blah, im sure you know exactly what I mean etc etc....could it be a possibility that the the child has been subject to pornography? maybe through the internet, or perhaps through one of the parents watching it in close proximity, I assume perhaps maybe the mother or maybe the mothers boyfriend? I'm not sure how old the older boy is, because I have not been able to read this entire thread for my 2 year old is requesting that I build blocks with him and I'm rushing this, but yeah I think all possibilities should be put on the table, because assuming there is a particular type of abuse should not be put directly on the table, and I'm surprised the case worker person has not even taken this as a possibility? and I'm not knocking the case worker person, which I'm sure is very professional and a lovely person but yeah , is my theory a good one lol? because in "porn" there is usually allot of "oral" sex? and the older boy is obviously either replicating something hes seen or had done to him?? the head dunking, I would think might be either someone playing rough or being rough with the older boy in a abuseful way perhaps? or maybe another child he plays with plays really rough? i for one have observed my child playing with another child one day, and this other child attacked my child really roughly and put him in a head lock and and tried to strangle my child, at that point I intervened and separated the children? its just a example of how rough children can get?
Dad4life
17-04-2011, 10:47
The mother is a right piece of work, alcoholic, ex- junkie and prostitute, she has the 2 other children who live with their father in another state and now this one. She is a failed actress, due to her drug addiction, so she is constantly chasing any drama she can find/create, coveting what others have and neglecting her children in favour of a good time!!! Makes me sooooooo mad!!!
My friend was just another sucker to her, he is devastated as he had looked forever for a girl and ended up with her, so now he's a 40 year old single dad of a 3 year old ,with a nightmare ex who knows every trick in the book.
Parenting orders are in place but he is hesitant to go against them for fear of it reflecting badly on him. Seems to me his solicitor is just taking his cash and not really helping him at all, in this and the divorce settlement process..... but thats another story.
Geees can you tell how much I despise this woman???? Thanks for the advise too x
I was just thinking of other possibilities m8, i would not be surprised if there was some type of abuse going on though ^_^ she sounds like a real keeper >.<:hair:
the thing is tho, is...a regular 7 yr old might veiw something, but just like a scary movie or anything else, would be disturbed or scared of it????
when abuse happens in the home the child is conditioned to believe that it is normal and loving and everyone does it.???
so either the child has been told that what they have seen in the p0rno is ok and feels nice and all the rest which in itself is wrong and in my eyes, abuse...or he has been conditioned during abuse.
bubbaboyandbump
17-04-2011, 11:03
In all honesty, kids can see things anywhere. Especially if they're in school and daycare. You just never know unless the child will talk about it
if a child is witnessing oral sex atschool/ preschool theres something very very wrong.
Dad4life
17-04-2011, 11:18
the thing is tho, is...a regular 7 yr old might veiw something, but just like a scary movie or anything else, would be disturbed or scared of it????
when abuse happens in the home the child is conditioned to believe that it is normal and loving and everyone does it.???
so either the child has been told that what they have seen in the p0rno is ok and feels nice and all the rest which in itself is wrong and in my eyes, abuse...or he has been conditioned during abuse. hmm yeah some interesting points there to ponder on.:)
bubbaboyandbump
17-04-2011, 16:29
Imischa - you'd be surprised..
Update -
It happened again!!!!! Older kids were down for holidays, father who was hesitant allowed mother to take son for 4 nights. He's so scared of going against the court orders for fear that somehow she will get custody if he does, and the son arrives home and it all comes out that the older boy did it again and is also doing it to his sister!!! :mad: How any mother could allow this to happen between her children is beyond me! It was young boys 4th bday yesturday and mother was supposed to have him for a few hours, father finally got the strength and advice from local police woman( who they reported last incident and recent on with) not to send him. Mother rang just after expected drop time, g'mother answered, didnt know what to say and hung up. Mother did not try to call back or make any contact. They await solicitors letter. G'mother was told by Dhs in vic that they could do nothing about what was happening to the sister and she would have to contact Dhs in the state where girl lives. Can anyone verify if this is standard? Fathers solicitor also told them not to report what is happening to the sister as it is not their business!!!!! WTF??? I girl is being raped by her brother!!! Cant something be done???? They have been everywehre seeking help and have been brushed aside or told 'We can record it, but not report it.' Who can report it? Who does it get reported to? If it was happening between to unrelated children would it be easier for things to be done? I'm so sad for this little boy!!! He is becoming a shadow of himself and I witnesed him today go from running around playing chasy to screaming at the top of his lungs and being unconsolable for 15 minutes when caught, and that was by myself!!! It was terrifying. I'm so P!SSED OFF!!!!
Stiflers Mom
03-07-2011, 23:00
Poor wee man...a similar thing happened to me as a child :(
Surely he won't make him go back there? Let the ***** (mother) take it to court.
I have a little experience with this type of thing. Will reply tomorrow if I get a chance.
bubbaboyandbump
05-07-2011, 14:03
I would think that Vic would have a responsibility to report it to the other state?! Either way they have said they are not so I still think it needs to be reported to protect the poor girl who is being assaulted by her brother. You should get your friend to contact child protection services in the state the girl lives in and report both the sexual assault of his son and also report that the child has stated that the sister is also victim. Also I'd be reporting it to the police.
CazHazKidz
05-07-2011, 14:50
Goodness me, what a horrid situation.
Whatever you do, don't back down. Keep reporting until someone listens. I'm so glad your friend has decided to stick to his guns and keep his son away from that situation. But now for that poor little girl. My goodness, someone needs to look out for her.
You're friend is lucky to have you sticking by him too :hugs:
brogeybear
05-07-2011, 15:12
I am so disgusted by all of this!!! I am outraged. Who is protecting our children?! Please, keep pusing, get the dad and grandmother to keep pushing. Get him to find another lawyer and ring daily until there is progress with an official report, etc.
I know!!! all this talk about stopping the cycle and if it happens call this department or that one, yet when it happens and you do nothing is done!!!!! Maybe if they were not related it would be different. This poor little guy is in intensive play therapy at 4 years old!!!!! So sad!
The mother was on a very popular teen tv show about 10-15 years ago and I'm so tempted to go to the tabloids with it!!! But it will probably just give her back the fame she lost because of her addiction to heroin and the only ones getting really hurt would be the boy and his step sister!
I'm just cant believe that a mother could let it happen to her own children!!!!! between her own children!!!!
Oh my gosh, that's dreadful. So does the abuse between the brother and sister happen at the father's house too, or just the mothers? Either way the father of the children is aware of his son doing this isn't he? Can he pursue some help too? The mother sounds like a right twit and isn't protecting any of her kids from the oldest boy, how very sad :(
V8, the girl is the eldest, she's 9, the perp boy is 7, they both live in QLD with their dad, the mother lives in Vic with her new cash cow, I mean boyfriend, she was married to a family friend of mine and he has custody of the son they had together.
During school holidays the older kids come to stay with her for a week and she wants the younger one to have a relationship with his half siblings. My friend doesnt want to stop his son seeing his mother or siblings but cannot condone what is happening, of course. The father of the older children has been made aware of what has happened down here and he doesnt want to know about it either!!!!!
The threapist who the youngest goes to is 99% sure he is not lying. He has been going to intensive 'play therapy' sessions once a week with her for the last few months and she is confident that he is not making it up. Thankfully for him they are only down every few months but as for the girl.......
I wish I could do more, but getting info from here has helped immensely. Thank you all for your replies. Hopefully we can put an end to this asap.
bubbanails
05-07-2011, 16:13
Update -
It happened again!!!!! Older kids were down for holidays, father who was hesitant allowed mother to take son for 4 nights. He's so scared of going against the court orders for fear that somehow she will get custody if he does, and the son arrives home and it all comes out that the older boy did it again and is also doing it to his sister!!! :mad: How any mother could allow this to happen between her children is beyond me! It was young boys 4th bday yesturday and mother was supposed to have him for a few hours, father finally got the strength and advice from local police woman( who they reported last incident and recent on with) not to send him. Mother rang just after expected drop time, g'mother answered, didnt know what to say and hung up. Mother did not try to call back or make any contact. They await solicitors letter. G'mother was told by Dhs in vic that they could do nothing about what was happening to the sister and she would have to contact Dhs in the state where girl lives. Can anyone verify if this is standard? Fathers solicitor also told them not to report what is happening to the sister as it is not their business!!!!! WTF??? I girl is being raped by her brother!!! Cant something be done???? They have been everywehre seeking help and have been brushed aside or told 'We can record it, but not report it.' Who can report it? Who does it get reported to? If it was happening between to unrelated children would it be easier for things to be done? I'm so sad for this little boy!!! He is becoming a shadow of himself and I witnesed him today go from running around playing chasy to screaming at the top of his lungs and being unconsolable for 15 minutes when caught, and that was by myself!!! It was terrifying. I'm so P!SSED OFF!!!!
OMG....im sorry if this is rude but if you know these people...why why why would you stand there and do nothing.....you need to step up and report this to the police and families sevices ASAP.
It has been reported! to every place possible. CPS, DHS, CSC, the police, its 'in the system'. But unfortunately, because the system is overloaded it could take months until something real is done. My friend has gone against the family court orders and denied the mother access on the boys birthday, but he was scared to do that as he doesnt want to lose custody for going against the court.
Dont worry I would LOVE to do something more, ie knock some sense into this woman, but I doubt that will help anyone in the long run.
All your friend can do is stay on top of them (police & docs) every day, week, month until something is done. He should record who he talks to, date, time & conversation & keep a log. He should also document any discussions he has with the boys mother.
I don't care what the solicitor says, if you are confident this is happening & it involves the other children please report the abuse to the relevant docs in the state they live in. If you as known adults to these children know it is happening & believe it is not your business then who will look out for these young children?? The boy committing the act also needs help & the sooner the better. Definately keep the young boy away & if the mother takes him to court he will have the records from the police & docs to back him up. This is a very sad situation for all involved.
MommaBear
05-07-2011, 19:30
Tell your friend to take the child to a DR- the Dr is a mandatory reporter and may be able to spark some action quicker than public reports.
DO contact any and every organisation possible to help the poor little girl- she will be scarred for life as it is and the sooner someone gets her help the better!
As for the court orders being broken- the mother would need $$ to go to court and try to get him for contravention- in which case he had enough reason to believe the child would be in danger if visitation had taken place and that is enough reason to break the court orders for the court.
bubbanails
05-07-2011, 20:19
I know it only takes two days !! for action to be taken. (especially for something so serious) The children's schools needs to notified as they need to report it also.
Im sorry for you being stuck in the middle, sorry if i sounded harsh before. I have seen these situations first hand and it is so hard, but im also glad your are involved and doing something.
Right to clear up, I have met the other children once, I have no idea their last name, nor their fathers name. I would love to be able to do something about them, but only giving their first names to DHS will be of no help.
The mother instigated a court case today for the father not allowing access last friday, the father had less than 2 hours to prepare but he went and the judge adjourned until friday, and would not allow the mother to take the boy under the circumstances, :smiliedance: it will be sorted on friday when my friend has his solicitor there and all his paperwork. The mother and her team were most shocked and put out that the boy has been going to therapy and they did not know...... not for any motherly reasons though but only because now they are scared as to what may come out from the therapist...... Hopefully it can all get sorted on court orders and all the children will get the help they need.
Good to hear things are starting to move in the right direction. Who would have thought it would be the Mum doing something to mess with the dad that would be the start of hopefully getting some protection for this boy! (and hopefully the other kids!)
Great news, hope it all works out ok.
If the kid is seeing a therapist too, could they draft a report to the solicitor to present to the court to say what abuse he's being subjected to. That way your friends claims are backed up by someone else. I hope that the older boy gets help but if the mother and the father are ignoring it, i feel so bad for the poor sister. You said he was raping her, so he's actually having sex at 7 with his 9 year old sister?? That needs some serious addressing, i'd try and get their last names and report it to the QLD police if you can.
YES!!!!!!! :smiliedance:
The younger boy is not to go to the mothers house at all when the older boy is down for his school holidays!!!!! Just had a brief phone call from the grandmother so not sure what is going to happen to help out the little girl or the older boy, hopefully their father gets 'sorted' about it! But I am so happy for my friend and his little boy!!!!
Thanks everyone for your advice. It really helped them to know how to go about it all!!! You all get a gold star!!! :babydust1: well a pink one anyway.......
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