Gloomy subject - Did you have a 'feeling' you would miscarry? [Archive]

Lorren

12-09-2006, 12:13

Hi all,

Sorry to bring up a depressing subject, but I'm just wondering about everyone's experiences of miscarriage and whether any of you felt that something was wrong??

I had a missed miscarriage at nine weeks, and at the time had noticed I wasn't behaving as I should be. After TTC for over six months I should have been ecstatic but I never really felt the joy I expected...

I didn't have a single dream about babies or pregnancy, and I have lots of dreams every night and they're usually about what's on my mind. I had commented on this to DH prior to the M/C.

I also hadn't bought anything for the baby or been shopping and this is extra strange cos I had been looking at baby stuff before I was pregnant and I normally love shopping.

I hadn't even thought about names for the baby!

Maybe I'm just being gloomy now, but I think I subconsciously knew there wasn't going to be a baby...

Has anyone else had this happen?

~Emmylou~

12-09-2006, 13:50

I'm sorry to hear about your miscarriage Loren.

I've had two, with the first I didn't have a feeling until a couple of days before I was due for a scan. I was already nine weeks along and the night before the scan I dreamt that I was in an old house (houses sometimes represent the body in dreams) and I was knitting a pink baby jumper and it kept unravelling as fast as I could knit.
I woke up the next day with a bad feeling and went to the scan very scared, I just couldn't shake it. I had no bleeding, cramping or anything else to indicate I had lost the baby, just this dream. And sure enough my bub had died a few days earlier.

With my second miscarriage last year I knew from the day I tested that I wasn't going to keep that baby. I just knew it, nothing felt right, and it was nothing like my daughters pregnancy the year before. I wasn't sick at all (which is a bad sign for me, I've never been sick with the bubs I lost, but always sick with the ones that stick), and I had some light spotting. So there were signs and I wasn't at all surprised when a scan showed a blighted ovum at 7 weeks.

Actually the sonographer told me at that scan that she sees mums all the time who know before the scan even starts when something is wrong so I don't think it's uncommon - woman's intuition.

Good luck TTC and I hope you get your bfp soon.

flib

12-09-2006, 16:21

It is a sad subject but it's good to talk about these things ... if you want to.

I had no idea I had a blighted ovum(2nd pregnancy) until I started bleeding at 7 weeks. Looking back with the experience of 3 other pregnancies now, I realise that I didn't have the same symptoms. I usually get morning sickness / tiredness and I felt really well when I miscarried.

But we're all so different. Not everyone gets morning sickness (lucky!).

Best wishes to everyone who's miscarried - it's devastating whether or not you know it's coming. Baby dust and BFP to all.

Flib

Mum&bubs

12-09-2006, 16:32

Sorry to hear about your m/c.

With mine, I was the opposite. I had the pain but i thought nope everything is going to be alright...then i had blood & still thought yeah everything is fine. Went to the hospital, they didnt know what was going on so i thought again yeah everything is normal etc etc it wasnt until i started getting clots that i realized what was happening :(

Lorren

12-09-2006, 16:44

Thanks for the thoughts guys!

I think it's never something you want to believe is happening. It was only afterwards that I really thought about how strangely I was behaving.

Even when you're told what's happening you still really want to hope it's not true. I think you have to stay positive no matter what signs you are having, a lot of babies make it through threatened miscarriages.

And yes - I think I must be needing to talk about it! I think a lot of people feel awkward discussing it with me so it's nice to be open for once.

Tracie

12-09-2006, 21:51

Hi Lorren,

First time, I had no idea and it was a terrible shock - I think because it was my first pregnancy.

I have two beautiful bubs now, but about a month ago I miscarried with my 4th pregnancy at 9 weeks.

Like you, I had an inkling from pretty early on that something wasn't right. Didn't have sore boobs and wasn't nauseous and even though I had told people I was pregnant, I had this overwhelming feeling that it wasn't going to last. Was making plans for the birth, but just didn't believe that it would get that far. And it didn't. Weird huh? Mother's instinct I guess - it's a powerful thing.

Anyway, I trust in Mother Nature and I also believe that that little bubba came to me for a short time to help me learn some things and to help pave a smoother path for the next baby.

I have found this miscarriage much easier to deal with than my first, but it is still hard. I really feel for you Lorren and understand your grief.

Something I will share - I felt it would help to do something to honour my first baby and I decided to sponsor a child - Amazingly I ended up sponsoring a little girl in Mozambique whose birthday was the same as the EDD for my bubba?!

This time round, because I was aware of what was about to happen I was able to do something a little different...I have two rose bushes that were planted nearly two years ago and have never flowered and I decided to bury my baby underneath where they are planted. The minute I had done this, I thought to myself, I bet anything they will flower now....and low and behold, a month later the first bud has just opened! What a special flower!

*Sparkles*

12-09-2006, 22:08

Something I will share - I felt it would help to do something to honour my first baby and I decided to sponsor a child - Amazingly I ended up sponsoring a little girl in Mozambique whose birthday was the same as the EDD for my bubba?!

This time round, because I was aware of what was about to happen I was able to do something a little different...I have two rose bushes that were planted nearly two years ago and have never flowered and I decided to bury my baby underneath where they are planted. The minute I had done this, I thought to myself, I bet anything they will flower now....and low and behold, a month later the first bud has just opened! What a special flower!

I think both of these things are just beautiful :hugs:

*wipes a tear from my eye*

cmd'smum

13-09-2006, 01:54

marcelsmum

13-09-2006, 10:35

- I also had a feeling about my M/C .
- For some reason I didn't want to test when I was late - but my DP pressured me into it and even when I got my BFP - I thought that I should have just waited cause the bleeding would start eventually. - Dont get me wrong this was a very wanted PG - but I just didn't have the PG feeling.

- I actually wrote on Bubhub about how nervous I was about the PG and didn't feel sure about it 2 days prior to my bleeding starting.
- And when DP told everyone - I kept saying that we shouldn't get to excited yet.

- I guess intuition really is a big thing.

twitch

13-09-2006, 11:25

We found out we were pg in January when we were working in QLD. I told a friend of mine who said I should ring all my family in WA and tell them, but I just knew that would be a bad idea, even though I knew how happy eveyone would be. I didn't "feel" pg, I had sore boobs but nothing else and I didn't even think about the birth or if it would be a boy or a girl or what we would name it or things i needed to buy... Every time I thought about it I just couldn't visualise the future, like me and DH standing there with this baby. Every time I tried to imagine where we would be in nine months, it was just me and DH. Sure enough a week later I m/c, I wasn't really surprised or upset, it just sort of seemed that that was how it was meant to be. DH was saying "aren't you upset?" and I was like "Yeah, but it happened for a reason" because I never really got attached to the thought of having this baby. It was so weird, it mattered that it happened but it was like I was prepared for it already.

Adria

14-09-2006, 14:02

It's good to talk about these things.
With my m/c (at 8 weeks), while pregnant i didn't think anything was wrong, but it was always on my mind, the night the bleeding started i was at work, thinking about how i would tell them if i had a m/c and than i started bleeding..werid huh?
A few times, through the pg DH had to reasure me that everything was going to be fine, but there was just something in my mind!
I had posted that i didn't feel pregant as i had no morning sickness and generally didn't feel pregnant.
I had grown to loving the thought of another baby, and spoke to to DD about it. I had bought one piece of clothing for the baby and some bigger clothing for myself, that morning and than the bleeding started that night.
I know things happen for a reason, if mine had devloped i would have had a child with a genetic disability. But things happening for a reason, doesn't take the pain,hurt and expectations away.
The m/c has taught me a lot. I appreciate DD so much more and when ever she is annoying me or have a tantrum, i think of all thoese people out there that so badly want children of there own. I think to myself they would probably be happy to have this experience, because they have a child of their own. So i look at her, take a deep breath, smile and be greatful for all i got.
In saying all this i still cry about the m/c and get depressed when i see pregnant people, but i wouldn't be normal if i didn't.:D

Ys_Woman

14-09-2006, 19:49

Hi all,
Sorry to bring up a depressing subject, but I'm just wondering about everyone's experiences of miscarriage and whether any of you felt that something was wrong??
Has anyone else had this happen?
Firstly, sorry for your loss hon. I know how it can be. I am still climbing up out of the pit four months later and still have days when upon hearing of a friend being pregnant etc. I slip back into the black hole for a bit.
Yes I knew in my heart of hearts that I would not end up having the baby. I cannot tell you how I knew that but I just knew it. When I told ppl I was pg I felt like I was lying to them, when I booked into the midwifery program and was attending the information session I KNEW I would not end up there in December.
Physically I had issues from six weeks on. I was really bloated, I had the strangest tense feeling down the sides of my arms to my elbows, horrid sciatic pain in the flanks, and headaches every single day. Of course I consciously wanted the pregnancy to continue to a happy outcome, but when the u/s showed no heartbeat I felt like I knew that was going to be the case, even when the triage sister was reassuring me that all would be fine just a few minutes prior.
I didn't have the dreams either, just carried around a really oppressive feeling each day.
Initially I was angry with my body for deceiving me, particularly when I discovered the baby had died three weeks prior to the m/c. In time I came to know that my body knew exactly what to do in the end to protect me.
Now it is up to the fates as to if I can have just one more shot at pgcy.
*spreading baby dust far and wide*
Amy:)

indigoin0z

14-09-2006, 20:05

really sorry about all your experiences girls...

i have had 1 miscarriage early this year, but
the baby im carrying now
i feel exactly as you describe..

SOMETHING hasnt felt right from the start,
& when i started bleeding at 8? weeks, it actually felt right,
because i had been odd about it from the start..
but then after 3 weeks & me learning it was/is a subchorionic haematoma & doesnt necessarily mean bad, i have felt guilty because it just seemed wrong that i didnt miscarry - it was like i was prepared for it... all the signs were there, even Labour type contractions/pain!
now
i am just 16 weeks today
& i foooorced myself with DH today to buy some little boots & 1 outfit to not feel like i am sabotaging with impending doom negative feelings...
i dont plan on buying anything until im pretty much booked in for caesar (very likely unfortunatetly)....
but it STILL doesnt feel right...
whenever i talk about bub to DH, i always say the sentence "if we make it that far".....

what a long wait its going to be ....:(

keep your chins up girls

firstchild

15-09-2006, 10:02

Lorren

15-09-2006, 10:11

Yes I knew in my heart of hearts that I would not end up having the baby. I cannot tell you how I knew that but I just knew it. When I told ppl I was pg I felt like I was lying to them, when I booked into the midwifery program and was attending the information session I KNEW I would not end up there in December.

I know exactly what you mean - I felt fake whenever I got congratulated on the pregnancy, like I was just pretending and would get found out. Crazy, hey.

Lorren

15-09-2006, 10:15

First Child - you should probably go and get checked out. My sis-in-law was in a car accident while pregnant a couple of months back, and although she wasn't injured at all they made her stay in hospital over night just so they could monitor the baby...

She was fine so I wouldn't worry too much - a visit to the doc is probably worth it just to put you at ease.

firstchild

15-09-2006, 10:26

thanks lorren weird things just start going through ur mind. My mother said she has worse frights in her pregnancys and she was ok. I guess im just paranoid. How far was ur sis in law wen she had the accident?

Taylors_mum

15-09-2006, 10:34

I had a feeling.

I kept telling myself and DF it doesnt matter if a have a M/C because we are so pleased to already have a healthy/happy DD.

I think deep down you know when something isnt right.

Lorren

15-09-2006, 10:36

My SIL was pretty far along - in the third trimester. So I think the docs were worried it would bring along premature labour.

Just take it easy today - put your feet up and relax and your bub will feel your positive vibes :p

firstchild

15-09-2006, 10:51

while we are on the topic of m/c with my first i miscarried at 10weeks but u/s showed my baby was only 8 weeks i never felt pregnant either whereas with this pg i feel pregnant but im always worried. i have a bad feeling i think maybe cause im worried about having another m/c

Taylors_mum

15-09-2006, 13:52

Firstchild- if you are really worried maybe you should ask your Dr to do a blood test to make sure. But like you said its probably just worry.

mumsluv

15-09-2006, 14:32

From the time I began to suspect that I was pg with number 2, I had a sense of impending doom. AF was really late but it took ages before I got the BFP. I had even said to DH that a late AF but BFN could indicate ectopic. When finally found out I was pg, I never got any of the symptoms I got first time round, no morning sickness, no tiredness etc. I kep asking people about this but they said very pregnancy is different and that it probably felt different because it was the second. Anyway, at 6w4d, rushed to hospitalfor emergency surgey to remove ectopic pg and right fallopian tube.

So sad when our BFPs bring worry now rather than excitement and huge joy.

:fingerscrossed: everybody that your hearts will heal with time, hope and faith.

Mumsluv

MilkOnTap

15-09-2006, 14:38

... but I'm just wondering about everyone's experiences of miscarriage and whether any of you felt that something was wrong??

You know, when I fell pg with my first angel, something told me that it was an ectopic. And yes - an ectopic - not just that I would lose the baby. I dont know why, I had never been pg before, and so these thoughts really frustrated me! I didn't like them, and it was really difficult to shake them.

I then fainted a few days later at work, taken to hospital and examined - then told it was an ectopic. To be honest, I wasn't surprised. I was sad, but not surprised.

The second pg I had to have an ultrasound as soon as I got the BFP to make sure it wasn't ectopic. I had 2 experienced sonographers and the professor of the gynae ward at the RWH examine me, and none of them could see my baby. My hcG levels were rising, but no embryo or sac could be found.

I knew then that something was wrong - and so I never accepted the pregnancy.

I'm determined to keep optimistic this time round. I am a Christian, and so I believe that if you say something enough, be pessimistic enough or untoward; then those things can happen. In my case, I didn't believe that my pregnancies would last - and they didn't.

So now, I'm just trusting and praying that my 8% chance to conceive naturally will turn into a miracle baby! :fingerscrossed:

Lorren

15-09-2006, 14:43

Wow - it's amazing reading everyone's stories and seeing how our 'mother's instinct' kicked in. It is so special that we can have the bond with our babies that sadly also tells us when there is something wrong.

And often we know when nobody else believes us. I know I had to go to the doctor on three separate occasions saying that I was having pains before I was sent for an ultrasound.

And Mumsluv you're right, the saddest part is that all of us that have experienced M/C will probably be stressed out through all our subsequent pregnancies - I know I'm terrified it will happen again and we haven't got to the TTC yet! And as you say Pink Lady, it's important to stay positive so that you're not 'wishing' doom on yourself. I think next time I'll be OK if I can get to 12 weeks. The heartbeat is not enough for me, cos my bub had one at 7 weeks but didn't make it much further. But seeing it growing would be so reassuring...

Best of luck to all those trying :fingerscrossed: - I'm still hoping to join the October testers if my body ever gets back to normal.

:hugs: to all and thanks for the lovely thoughts.

xxxLorren

lavenderpegasus

15-09-2006, 16:00

A few nights before my first scan I had a dream that they wouldn't be able to see anything, I told my friends and they all told me I was being silly... But as it happens I went for the o/s at at least 7 weeks and there was nothing???? weird:idea:

Ys_Woman

16-09-2006, 12:52

This may sound like a silly question. Im 7 weeks pregnant. This morning as i was driving to work i nearly had car accident (a guy broke quickly infront of me) . It was freaky. I felt as if my stomach was on fire. Can u miscarry from having a scare like that? Im so worried i have had 1 m/c and this is my first pregnancy since ( 4 years later.)
If you are worried then please see a gp Firstchild. Usually the baby is so well protected in there that all should be fine.
I was involved in a head-on collision with my first dd. I was 13wks along when it happened and I suffered really bad whiplash injuries and injuries to the spine and shoulder (which still persist 19yrs later). I was rushed off to have a scan, which was pretty cool really as my OBGYN was dead against women having them during pgcy. Luckily all was well and my dd was born fine and even late..lol.. although I worried because I was on strong painkillers due to the neck/shoulder damage..but she was fine.
It certainly is scary when someone brakes hard and you have to make a sudden stop. It makes your stomach churn. Hopefully that is the cause of the burning sensation you felt.
Amy:)

Chicco25

25-09-2006, 12:48

:hugs: and :kiss: to all who mc'd and :fingerscrossed: for the next time.

I didn't feel right with this pregnancy at all. I had dreamt that I miscarried when I was 4weeks, but shrugged it off as just nerves, But how right I was. With my other 2 pregnancies I was excited from day dot and couldn't wait to tell everyone - this one, I told everyone but was not excited in the slightest. I was morning sick from day dot which is unusual for me and was constantly tired - more than usual. I just brought it down to being a mum of 2 under 5.

When I started bleeding at 10 weeks I knew - but I didn't want to beleive it and when my ob did the ultrasound it was no surprise when I couldn't see the heart beat - but it was still completely devastating.

The hardest thing for me was having to come back and tell me 5yr old daughter that her baby sis Jasmine had died and gone to heaven (she had picked the name and sex well before I fell pregnant,lol). The look on her face broke my heart even more:crying:

But now I'm just looking forward to trying again and hopefully mothers intuition will be wrong this time round.

Sorry about the yak - but I haven't spoken about how I feel yet to anyone

Anita

Blessed Mum

25-09-2006, 14:17

I have had two children & have had a miscarriage only a few months ago. With my first two I was worried that it may happen but had an overwhelming feeling they were meant to be & all would be well. When discovering a few months ago I was pregnant again I felt unsure & yes we were trying. Something definately did not feel right & my thought pattern of how I felt was all over the place & I miscarried 9 days later. We are currently not TTC at the moment but will again if & when it feels right again.

Milis

27-09-2006, 15:43

Sorry to hear of your loss, Blessed Mum :hugs: . I found that having a little one to focus on helped somehow, but of course didn't take away the pain completely. Good luck for when you decide to try again (we're waiting until Jan 07).

I definitely knew that something wasn't right with my last pg. I felt the same thing as some of you other girls did, that I was pretending to be pg. DH would come home from work and say 'how's the baby today?" and I would sort of laugh sadly and say 'what baby? There's no baby." I think he thought it was just pregnancy weirdness, but when I started bleeding at 10 1/2 weeks I knew that was it.

Thanks for starting this thread - it is a bit of a depressing subject but it really helps to talk about it.

Kimee

30-09-2006, 12:44

I just had a D&C yesterday and it's great to be able to read all of your experiences.

I definitely knew that something was wrong and this was my first pregnancy. I was excited to begin with but then that feeling started to fade as if my mind and body was preparing me for what was going to happen. I had all the normal symptoms but I desperately wanted an early scan when I was about 7-8 wks when I had a bad feeling. I even asked on the bubhub boards when scans normally get done because I was paranoid that at a later scan I'd find something went wrong weeks ago.

Sure enough I started light spotting at 11 wks and had an ultrasound done to find that our little one died at 7.5 weeks.:gloomy: In the end you know your own body the best and have to listen to it.

Krissy

01-10-2006, 20:23

This may sound morbid and weird but I knew from before I was even pregnant that my first baby wouldnt make it into this world I was on fertility treatment so the baby was very wanted and very loved even after TTC for 18months the day I got my BFP I was very aprehensive I pretended to be so excited and pushed the bad feelings to the back because I thought I was a terrible person for thinking them. I even tried to tell DP just to make it a little bit easier for him to cope with when it eventually happened.
Even after seeing my little ones heart beating I still didnt really feel that I was going to have a baby I felt pregnant but whenever I looked to the future the baby wasnt there. Its very sad but I believe nothing can match up to a mothers intuition thankyou for starting this thread I have been so scared to let this out as I thought I was such a horrible mother for thinking it like because I didnt believe in my baby they didnt make it into my arms.

muls

02-10-2006, 21:27

I recently m/c (Sept06 - 51/2wks) with my first child and knew straight away that something wasn't right. I told my mum and she said if you think something is wrong it is wrong. I tried to shrug it off and tried to be overjoyed but just felt drained from stress and no sleep because i knew!
I was extremely tried but had no morning sickness and had some pimples appear on my face but only to soon disappear - that was another sign, my mum had said she had bad skin when she was pregnant.
I am now TTC :fingerscrossed: and hope my next pregnancy will show signs of hope and couldn't care less if i had morning sickness all day everyday as long as the end result is healthy and happy!

Thanks for your thoughts guys, it does make it easier to talk to someone who has experienced something similar and shares your hopes and dreams.

ME 24
DH 25
1 angel (m/c Sept 06 - edd would have been 23/5/07)

JuniorMinime

04-10-2006, 08:53

I am glad that you guys are talking about this cause it is really important too. I had no idea that this was going to happen again. When I was told I was preg I had the most amazing warming, gut instict that everything was going to be ok and that my partner and I were going to finally have the baby that we both wanted to dearly. I even had a really positive feeling that it was a girl!! When I went for the scan last monday and was told that there was no heart I honestly didn't believe him at all and ended up going for another scan with a better machine. But of course my ob was right and I ended up having a D+C this time last week. I was 10wks.

I have had two D+C and a natural (came on by itself) m/c in 12 months. I know, I know maybe my body is telling me something but it wasn't like we were planning on it to happen. I am finding it very difficult this time to accept it cause I had no feeling that this was going to happen. Even with Angel Ethan I didn't know until we had all the problems at 12wks and had to have the CVS and then to find out that he was fine and then 3 wks later found out that he had gone to heaven about a week before, I was 15wks.

I know it will get easier but we are going for tests (anything that can be done) to find out why I can't carry properly. The early tests that came back from the D+C all came back fine and healthy and that there wasn't anything wrong with the baby at all!! But my reaction is....Well there has to be cause it isn't in my body anymore!!!!

Sorry but I am trying to get to grips with it all, it's been a very difficult 12 months. But basically the answer to your question, I never in a million years thought that this was going to happen again!

How are you coping Kimee? We were due around a similar time! Was your naturally or was there no heartbeat? Are they going to do tests?

SilverStarfish

04-02-2007, 04:06

I lost a baby today, but like someone said earlier, when the sonographer told us I was sad, but not shocked. Since the moment I saw the blue line on the test I just sort of knew that it wasn't meant to be.

I didn't feel pregnant at all, not once in the 8 weeks. People would congratulate me and I'd smile and say 'thanks' all the time feeling like a real fraud. It was such a foriegn feeling, not at all like when I was pregnant with Sarah.

I remembered seeing this thread last year and I just wanted to add my experience. Yes, I just knew. In the same way I just knew from the moment I conceived Sarah that she was going to be a girl, this time I just somehow knew that I wasn't going to be allowed to keep this one.

becca022

04-02-2007, 14:27

When we found I was pregnant in January 2004 I was petrified. I wasn't as excited as I thought I should have been. About a week later I started spotting & I knew that would be the end. It held on for a week before I officially lost it. When I had a scan done when I fist started spotting the guy doing it said it didn't look right. From my dates I should have been 8 weeks, but the scan showed 6 weeks & nothing in the sac. Everyone else (partner & family) were optimistic that everything would be ok, but I just 'knew' differently. Anyway a few months later we found out that DS was on his way & I was excited - scared, but excited. I also 'knew' there was someting wrong with his spine pretty early on too (he has Spina Bifida) & everytime I had a scan I asked how his spine was which is weird considering I was only 21 at the time & didn't think anything like that could happen.