HELP.... Need advice urgently

[wa mum of 4]

Hi everyone,
I am in need of some much need advice.:eek:
I am currently on the egg donor trail as the donor and have hit a snag.
My IP's and I are due to have our last physc appointment on Wed and I am due to start Synarel spray on Thur, then off the pill on the 20th and injections on the 22nd.:smiliedance:
I received a email from my IP's last night informing me that she feels it is moving a little too quick for her and she feels that we should wait another month as the warmer weather is a better time to conceive. She is Chinese so I don’t know if it may be a cultural thing or not.:eek:
I am very worried as my body doesn’t like the pill and I have had lots of side effects and if she wants to wait another month then how much longer do I need to be on this pill.
I have another concern, if she feels it is moving too fast then is she really ready for all this?
She is cutting it a little close as once I start the injections then what happens if she wants to wait longer? I have asked her previously if she would consider freezing the embryos and she said it was not an option as it reduces the chance for success.
What do I do?
Do I tell her that I really would rather stay on track for my own health or do I have to follow what she wants as I feel I am committed to her now.
I really dont want to get so close and she changes her mind as I have spent so long preparing and I could have helped another couple instead of waisting my time with this one.( Sorry that was a bit harsh)
Any advice please?

[cmd'smum]

Hi wa mum..... I have no experience in relation to this type of scenario, however, if I were you I would be honest with her. You're right, and you're not being harsh, you could've helped another couple who are really ready for this, and it begs the question, is she really 100% about this procedure if she wants to wait a month because it'll be "warmer."?? You are right, its not fair on you, you should'nt have to jeopardise your health.

I don't mean to sound like a B***H but what you are doing is unbeleivably kind and generous to say the least, and she needs to remember this. She should be more grateful. There are so many couples out there looking for an angel like you!

Good luck and let us know how it all goes!:hugs:

[leisurly]

Hi WAmum

God I feel for you, felt quite a tear, all the women I've met or chat to who are looking for a donor, would not put off for such a reason.

She might be just going through a panick because it is getting so close, like donors the recipients have exactly the same concerns about children of donor cycles, am I doing the right thing, am i being selfish what impack will this have on the child. As we get close to cycling, which I was until it all went wrng, these thoughts do resurface and maybe she is just hoverng and needs the push.

I think it is just nerves, tell her streight that you had agreed on this cycle and that you don't like taking the pill and if it is only the weather that is concerning her then your health is more a priority. Tell her it is you who is producing the eggs and your mentally focused on this months cycle so any delay would be stressful on you and the eggs. If she still insists then say well they willhave to be frozen as I'm cycling this month

Lxx

[Stephany]

Hi Wamum,

I can sympathise with you, it's your health at risk and as a recipient it is most important that she understands that what you are doing is providing her with a gift of life and should realise that it is not just herself that makes these decisions but there are two families involved. I hope I am not sounding too B***HY...

I hope you work things out and that you continue your journey as a very special person who will make this family very happy.

Love
Stephanie

[wa mum of 4]

Thanks everyone,
I think I feel so upset as I am so committed to this and as sooooooo many other women are in desperate need of help its like I am waisting my time.
I am constantly reading other womens heart wretching stories and wonder should I be helping them instead, I believe all women should be given the opportunity to experience the greatest feeling that comes with carrying and bring a child in to the world.
Its frustrating because we have come all this way and she is the one placing restrictions for such a silly reason.
OK I have vented enough.
Thanks again.

[aqua28]

Hello wa mum of 4, I think your IP's are extremely fortunate in having found you and perhaps, she is having last minute jitters. We would be over the moon if we were in their shoes and would not want to wait one second, let alone a month. I do hope you work out your differences soon, maybe explore it a bit more, to make sure it isn't something religious/cultural. Good luck to all of you who are on this special journey!:fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed: aqua28

[wa mum of 4]

Met with my IP's today at phsyc appointment.
I informed her that I was very unwell on the pill and I would rather stay on track, as what I am doing impacts on more than just me but my family as well with DH working away.
She seemed to wonder for a while and didn't comment so I dont know.
We have fert clinic app tomorrow so I will have another chat with her then.
Thanks again for your suggestions.:hugs:

[Thinking_about_it]

Hi wa mum, I sympathise with you as I don't like the pill either, am now using IUD and love it! But have to go back to the pill soon as I will be donating my eggs as well.

I hope all goes well with talks with your ip's. I don't know what is going through their minds, perhaps something really important that we don't know about? But whatever it is, I hope they realize just how lucky they are to have found you! I'm Asian as well and I'm donating to a couple in NZ because they couldn't find any Asian donors in NZ. That's how hard it is to find donors, and especially so if you are ethnic. So I hope they are counting their blessings and that it all works out!

Will be following your journey! Please post back and let us know how it goes :hugs:

Megan

[Hels*Bels]

I think that if I was the recipient I would be bending over backwards to make sure everything went smoothly and be eternally grateful for your act of kindness. Therefore, I have to question too whether she is really ready for this and does she really understand what is involved on your part?
I agree with what the others have said and that you should explain to her that it's now or never, take it or leave it.
I know it sounds harsh, but it's not exactly just a walk in the park for you, is it?
Good luck and I hope it all works out for both of you.

[jo-anne.36]

:wave: hello there i do'nt think iam much helpto you, but as iam on the path of finding a donor, but i can tell you this if i was the ip i would do evey thing in my power to keep my donor interested in helping me and i do know what is involved in ivf as i haved quite enogh few cycles over the years. any way i hope you work throught this rocky patch and i hope you and your special friend keep going along the journy :fingerscrossed: for both of you's take care and good luck:thumbsup: jo-anne

[wa mum of 4]

OK heres the update.
My IP's have agreed that my health is of great importance and also my mental well being.
I tried to inform them that me being happy and stress free (if thats possible at this time) will only assist them in there desire to have a baby.
I always try to stay focused on the goal at hand and if I was unwell I wouldnt be in the best mind set for donation.
So we are on track, I am on the synarel spray and waiting to stop the pill on the 20th :smiliedance: I will hopefully start injections on the 26th or 27th depending on AF.
So here goes everything.:fingerscrossed: :fingerscrossed:

[babydreams]

Hi WA Mum, sorry to be posting so late in this thread...just catching up with things. I was very glad to read your last post and sorry that you had that hiccup in the journey. You are doing something so precious and generous for your IPs and I'm sure they are every bit as deserving as anyone else you might have helped. I once heard someone joke that IVF babies can be developmentally delayed...not for any medical reason, but simply because their mothers have waited so long for them that they don't stop cuddling them long enough to put them down!:laughing: I hope the rest of your experience is a joyful and fulfilling one for all concerned.
Babydreams xx