Vent - I feel like I should be more *together* by now

[Electric Boogaloo]

Ugh, just having a tough mummy-week :(. Bubs has gone from sleeping through the night to waking up multiple times at night. He's teething and he's had a cold. He's particularly whiney and wanting lots of time and attention at the moment. He only catnaps during the day.

Baby is nearly 6 months old but I still feel like I haven't got it together. I'm still in my PJ's some days until the afternoons, the house is so messy and I just can't seem to keep up. I'm BFing and I've lost a lot of weight because I'm ravenous all the time but I just can't seem to keep up with the amount of food I need. I eat three meals a day but I feel like I'm wasting away. I know I should get me and baby out of the house for walks etc but most days I have no energy to do that.:dizzy:

Hubby does a lot around the house (we share the cooking and cleaning, and he does the grocery shopping and a lot of babycare when he's home) but he works shift work so sometimes he is only home briefly in the morning and doesn't get home until after baby is in bed.

I know people say "just don't worry about the housework" but things have to get done at some point!

blargh just needed to get it off my chest I think :ecomcity:

[Faithy]

Huge hugs hun!

Have you thought about something like Sustagn (sorry about the spelling!) My health care nurse recommended it as a great way to keep nutrition up. Make up a lite with skinny milk and have a few glasses during the day.

She also said a 20 min walk is the same benefit as an anti depressant tablet. Now I'm not too sure that is an actual fact but you get her point right?

Be kind to yourself. The house is VERY hard to keep on top of and your partner should be helping.

Xoxo

[TheUndomesticGoddess]

:hugs: I'm in the same boat hun, so I sorta get how you're feeling atm! It's really great you get such a good amount of help from your DP :)

I agree with PP, get out and go for a walk, it does help!

[Nicky2006]

excuse me are you complaining you are too skinny??? Hahaha, just kidding! I wish. I bf and cause I never have or take the time to make myself proper meals all I eat is crap, so I am a little chubbier than I could be... And I always felt the very beginning was easier. From 4 months on is getting tougher again cause they need much more attention. You are not alone!

[Gypsybum]

Yep! It's hard work! I'm usually still in my pjs when my bf gets home from work!! Then I finally get a chance to shower and clean up a bit coz he takes bubs. By dinner time the last thing I feel like doing is standing in the kitchen cooking! Luckily my bf is awesome and he usually cooks dinner:)

Dont worry I say get to it when u can. it's not the end of the world! Just relax and enjoy ur bub ;) you got the rest of your life to have a clean house!

[lambjam]

I actually find the period between 4-8 months a really tough time; I'm likely to have gotten on top of the housework, dug out my makeup, and reclaimed the shopping centre only to regress back into my pyjamas at this point. I find it really tough, after the patterns of a newborn, to suddenly have a baby who needs so much attention and doesn't sleep nearly as much as I'd like him to! I also suspect that a lot of the lovely hormones support you through those early months, and when they go it's just you, an increasingly demanding baby and your sleep deprivation.

Of course things need to get done around the house; I just roll my eyes when people suggest it's possible to sleep when the baby sleeps. Maybe during those first couple of weeks, but it's just not realistic beyond then. It helps me to figure out what has to get done (basically laundry and cooking, and in my case tending to my other children's needs) and make sure those things are done every day. All the other things can be reduced for the time being, and remember it is just for the time being, it won't be like this forever.

The Sustagen sounds like a good idea, as does getting out of the house and going for a walk. I know it can be hard to drag yourself out, but you really might find yourself revitalised (and out of your jammies!).

Things do get easier; caring for a baby is something you need to learn, and then relearn as they develop through each stage. I promise things get easier around 8-9 months; that age will bring its own challenges, but IMO they're a breeze compared to this incredibly intensive stage.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[tinynosetinytoes]

I actually find the period between 4-8 months a really tough time; I'm likely to have gotten on top of the housework, dug out my makeup, and reclaimed the shopping centre only to regress back into my pyjamas at this point. I find it really tough, after the patterns of a newborn, to suddenly have a baby who needs so much attention and doesn't sleep nearly as much as I'd like him to! I also suspect that a lot of the lovely hormones support you through those early months, and when they go it's just you, an increasingly demanding baby and your sleep deprivation.

Of course things need to get done around the house; I just roll my eyes when people suggest it's possible to sleep when the baby sleeps. Maybe during those first couple of weeks, but it's just not realistic beyond then. It helps me to figure out what has to get done (basically laundry and cooking, and in my case tending to my other children's needs) and make sure those things are done every day. All the other things can be reduced for the time being, and remember it is just for the time being, it won't be like this forever.

The Sustagen sounds like a good idea, as does getting out of the house and going for a walk. I know it can be hard to drag yourself out, but you really might find yourself revitalised (and out of your jammes!).

Things do get easier; caring for a baby is something you need to learn, and then relearn as they develop through each stage. I promise things get easier around 8-9 months; that age will bring its own challenges, but IMO they're a breeze compared to this incredibly intensive stage.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:


Well said lambjam :yes:

[minties]

:hugs: i could write that post some days too. Here are a few things that have helped me.

1 get involved in some kind of activity with bub if you can. Playgroup, swimming lessons, baby sessions at the library perhaps or even your local aba group. It gives you a reason to get out of the house, breaks up the day and you will get some adult interaction.

2 i hear you on the weight loss, i have lost a lot with bf too. I know how it can affect your self esteem and it really doesnt help when others joke about it like it's not a real problem. Here's what is working for me, go to the chemist and buy the sustagen hospital formula (try find it at a discount chemist to save money) have that once or twice a day. Also, have easy snacks (perhaps pre cut some cheese to have with crackers) around try not to go more than 2-3 hours without eating. I've started doing this and have finally started gaining some weight. It's a lot of effort but i feel great!

3 split your housework up so that you do a little each day, it's so much less daunting than trying to do everything in one go. So do mopping one day, vacuuming another, bathrooms another. You wont have the whole house clean at once but everything will get done at leat once a week . Tbh though, i have great intentions but my house usually looks like a bomb hit it. My motto is crap housewife, good mum lol

Hope that helps:hugs:

[River Song]

:wave: hi, my name is smileygirl and i am not coping with my 5 month old and the housework. i think i am superhuman if i get stuff done at all during the day :laughing:

we've gone backwards big time this week :freakingout::freakingout:



\lets all hang out and love our bubbas and not be perfect :-)

[MicE]

Ladies you are not alone. When I got into that funk I finally decided that if nothing else I was going to have a shower. I would do that before dh went to work. From there I felt like I had achieved something and then small things would come together.
Don't be to hard on yourself.

[DeeLee]

:wave: I have a nine month old, I think I do a pretty good job with her but I get a great big FAIL on the housework side of things!

I don't like people coming to visit cause it is so bad :(

[lambjam]

Ladies you are not alone. When I got into that funk I finally decided that if nothing else I was going to have a shower. I would do that before dh went to work. From there I felt like I had achieved something and then small things would come together.
Don't be to hard on yourself.

Definitely! Choose a small goal or two that you can see yourself tick off. For me it was making the bed. If I could just get the bed made the rest of the day seemed to fall into place; bizarre but whatever works hey :rolleyes:.

[lola77]

Don't me too hard on yourself.

I think you should get your iron levels checked to make sure you're not a bit anaemic.

My little man is 18 months and I still have days were things get on top of me. Treat every day as a new one and don't dwell on what didn't go well the day before.

I need to have a quick 30 min 'sanity clean' when he goes for a nap. Before I sit down for lunch I run round and put a wash on, tidy the toys / dog destruction, and clear some surfaces. Just so I can sit down and not look at mess.

I read somewhere that you should never leave a room empty handed I.e. Clean as you go so you don't let things build up too much!

Remember you're not alone and it does get better!

[Gracie's Mum]

Ohhhh hun you're definately not alone! I have a bub just a few weeks older than yours and some days she is glued to my hip i hardly get to make myself something to eat! I have lost 5kgs in the last couple of months just out of purely being too busy to eat and then when i get a chance to i just dont feel like it anymore! I hate looking this skinny so i drink sustagen and it really does help, it's got a lot of vitamins and minerals so at least your body has something worthwhile going in it, otherwise i will snack on crap all day, chips, biscuits and just not eat real meals, its a bad habit!! I am only a first time mum so i dont know when things get better, easier, but my bub has just in the last fortnight started to sit up unassisted :cheerleader1: so since she is able to do that now she is much happier sitting up playing with her toys than laying down and getting frustrated because she can't crawl (she's almost there!!) I have some days where the sheets need washing, the floor needs vaccuuming, the dishwasher needs emptying, but meh...just look after your bub and you...i often stay up til midnight to get things done, i know its bad but its the only way i can stay on top! I'm lucky that lately my LO has started going to bed earlier at night so i can get things done before 10pm and then go to bed...the midnight bedtime and then 6am rises were killing me!!

Some great advice from all the lovely BH ladies, lambjam your post was fantastic!

:hugs: Hang in there, i know some days are hard!!

[zoemiller]

:hugs: i could write that post some days too. Here are a few things that have helped me.

1 get involved in some kind of activity with bub if you can. Playgroup, swimming lessons, baby sessions at the library perhaps or even your local aba group. It gives you a reason to get out of the house, breaks up the day and you will get some adult interaction.

2 i hear you on the weight loss, i have lost a lot with bf too. I know how it can affect your self esteem and it really doesnt help when others joke about it like it's not a real problem. Here's what is working for me, go to the chemist and buy the sustagen hospital formula (try find it at a discount chemist to save money) have that once or twice a day. Also, have easy snacks (perhaps pre cut some cheese to have with crackers) around try not to go more than 2-3 hours without eating. I've started doing this and have finally started gaining some weight. It's a lot of effort but i feel great!

3 split your housework up so that you do a little each day, it's so much less daunting than trying to do everything in one go. So do mopping one day, vacuuming another, bathrooms another. You wont have the whole house clean at once but everything will get done at leat once a week . Tbh though, i have great intentions but my house usually looks like a bomb hit it. My motto is crap housewife, good mum lol

Hope that helps:hugs:





I agree, even if you just have 'bub time'. You need to stop being so harsh on yourself. I've gone through that phase too, and I feel for you because I know how it makes you feel.
But sometimes when I thought i could just curl up in a ball and give up, I would sit there with my baby Cooper, surrounded by a messy house, and just enjoy each other and the beautiful miracle he really is.
Maybe next time you feel like you cant cope, do that with your bubba too?

[kingyo]

I found having a cheap bouncer permanently in the bathroom helped. I could pop DD in there while I jumped in a 5 minute shower rand it eally made me feel human again! I put my clothes out the night before and also had a long hot shower at night when she first went to sleep. Also getting out first thing on the morning does wonders for your hormones! On a good day I could do the shower, dress, pop bub in a sling and be out the door in 20 mins. All I had to do was walk around to the shops and grab a paper but it made such a difference! I would also get to feel like I was part of the world again :)


Sent from my iPod touch using Bub Hub

[Electric Boogaloo]

Thanks everyone :hugs: (I think I've clicked Thanks on all your posts ;)). Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Each phase with baby seems both easier and harder than the last one :freakingout:

Some days it feels like other mums seem to be able to get all these things accomplished and most days I'm just struggling to do one thing. I think I'm doing a good job with my baby but I can't figure out how anyone does anything else while looking after a baby!! I've never been the best at juggling lots of tasks at once, and bad days just seem to magnify my weaknesses iykwim.

Feeling a bit better tonight. Baby is asleep and I'm just getting a few little jobs done before I settle down and relax and wait for hubby to get home. Might think about the Sustagen too, that sounds like a good idea.

Thanks again :)

[melimum]

wow Beck, i am in exact same boat as you (except instead of losing weight ive put on a lot which makes me more depressed!) some days i literally think meh im not even gonna get changed today, i jus wish i had more motivation. def feeling ur pain darl, ur not alone out there :hugs: