Only child.....

[Baldie's Mum]

Were you one?

Did you like it?

Do you have one?

What helped you make the choice?

[flyawayfree]

I was one of four, but ds is an only child and I don't plan for him to have siblings.

Many factors have influenced my decision, but at the moment the main ones are his special needs, my financial situation and uni, and my age.

[elleandsam]

DH was, hated it, was very lonely growing up, consequently it was a huge deciding factor in giving Elle a sibling, DH didn't want her to feel as lonely as he did.

[share a book]

I was one of 3 but DD is an only child on my side, and one of 4 on her father's side but she has only met 2 of the others and they no longer have contact so does that count? lol

[Opinionated]

My best friend is one. She "adopted" our family, saying it was the closest she would ever get to sisters. She hated it.

One of my close friends has been trying to concieve for 4 years without success and only got her first through a lot of heartache, intervention and some surgery. She is resigned to having one and is becoming more at ease with it. I actually think being an only child suits her child's personality and their family situation. In their particular circumstance, it's actually a benefit. She wanted a second because she comes from a large family and feels like she should, but I can see her starting to see their family as perfect, just as it is.

It's early days for you Baldies mum. Enjoy TC at the moment and try not to look too far ahead. You miss out on the now if you worry about the future too much. You will end up with the perfect family, whatever happens.

[Elonii]

I was an only child.

The good thing about that was that I got all my parents love, attention, and financial resources. They were always there for me and indulging the things that I liked doing. I was and still am very secure in our little family unit.

I think the negatives were that I was and still am a sensitive person. Lack of sibling rivalry etc made it hard for me to deal with the rough and tumble of social situations at school - I found it difficult / traumatic when people gave me a hard time.

I was also lonely as a child, however I grew up in a village where there were only 7 other children of varying ages - and none of them "got me" so I didn't have any real friends till I hit high school at 12. Actually I'm not sure anyone from there got me either - I think I was just an odd child. Hehehehehe.

I always wanted siblings but then my mother is from a huge family and she isn't close to most of hers.

Overall I'm glad to have been brought up the way I was, but I swear to god the next amateur psychologist who tells me that I'm bound to be selfish because I was an only child is getting my selfish fist right on the end of their nose :laughing:

[Myztiks#1Fan]

i am one of 3 but coop will be an only child as i am not having any more children once he reaches school next year and i cant see myself meeting someone and having a child with them by the years out.

[Baldie's Mum]

It's early days for you Baldies mum. Enjoy TC at the moment and try not to look too far ahead. You miss out on the now if you worry about the future too much. You will end up with the perfect family, whatever happens.


I know its early days. I just feel so much relief and satisfaction when i think about having 1 child. Our family of 3 feels whole. I am in so many different mind frames at the moment. I have 5 frozen embies, im not on contraception, i have had 2 cycles but im not sure if im ovulating, if i have more kids i just want to bite the bullet and do them all close. I dont want to have a 5yr old and a newborn (thats just me......)

I even thought of DH getting the snip cause we have 5 frozen bubs....so if i do want more later down the track, we have them.

Because im not on contraception i am just nervous that if i do fall preg i definatly will be so excited but, i also feel its not for us. As a family...........i feel whole with the 3 of us.

[NancyBlackett]

I'm an only child. I loved my childhood - I had my parent's undivided love and attention yet also the companionship of close friends and cousins. I never felt lonely - I had an active imagination and an active life.

I guess to an extent it's down to parenting, but I would never have swapped my childhood for one with siblings.

[Baldie's Mum]

I'm an only child. I loved my childhood - I had my parent's undivided love and attention yet also the companionship of close friends and cousins. I never felt lonely - I had an active imagination and an active life.

I guess to an extent it's down to parenting, but I would never have swapped my childhood for one with siblings.

:) sounds nice! :goodvibes:

[LittleBlueKisses]

Only child here too & have to say LucyB has it spot on for me too!!

I loved it & to be honest hate the assumption people have of us being miserable, selfish & lonely...I LOVED being an only child :)

Do what feels right for you is all I can say!! For a long time I felt I would be happy to keep our fan at 3...yes as my son turned 2 that slowly started to change & now another bub is on the way but it took a good while to feel the want for that :)

Funny thing is I used get these gasping loox from other mothers when I was happy to say 1 was me & now the situation has changed but I get gasps that 2 will defiantly be our end...I'm guessing if it is another boy I will forever be stuck with the ever already hated by me question..."won't you be sad you didn't keep trying for a girl"!?!?!?

Again...do what feels right for you :)

[iMischa]

not entirely related here so sorry if im intruding.

for the first 2 years of my first childs life, i was CERTAIN i would never have another child. it felt right and complete...but by the time he was 2.5 i started crying over those huggies ad's again and i couldn't shake that desperation for another.

i guess my point is...feelings sometimes do change..and if they do, the age gap wont matter so much.

[RipperRita]

Were you one?

Did you like it?

Do you have one?

What helped you make the choice?

Yep I'm an only

I loved it 99% of the time. The other 1% I wished for a sibling so I fitted in and wasnt different and had someone to play with. The worst thing for me was the social stigma. People think you must be spoilt, unable to share, a loner etc...

Interesting facts about onlies...
Even though onlies only make up a small portion of the population they are generally high achieving and are over represented in areas such as world leaders.
Despite the stereotypes studies have shown no difference with onlies when it comes to bossiness or acting spoiled… studies have also shown that increased one-on-one parenting produces higher education levels, higher test scores and higher levels of achievement.

Even though i liked it i havent kept the trend going. I have two children myself but I don't want any more than this. I didn't have two children so I wouldn't have an only child... I just had two cause I wanted to... No reason really.

[One of THOSE mums!]

I'm not an only child but thought I should balance the argument. Not that anyone's arguing but you know what i mean!

My sisters (2 of them) are more than just sisters. They are my best friends. Parents can't always be there. And only have so much patience. But my sisters were there with me at the bus stop. Fighting over the toy in the cereal box. And making daisy chains on the trampoline while singing Disney tunes!

Everyone and every situation is different. But I will be choosing to give my Ds a sibling or two. And hopefully some great friends too!

[stayday]

I am also an only child. I really didn't have any issues with it. I grew up more quickly and was far more sensible and mature than other kids my age. My parents gave me a lot of freedom and although I wasn't spolied, financially more options were available to me.
When my husband and I started thinking about having a family I was certainly for having only one, my hubby wanted 2 as he has a sibling. Looks like he won that one as we are having twins:laughing:.

[Baldie's Mum]

not entirely related here so sorry if im intruding.

for the first 2 years of my first childs life, i was CERTAIN i would never have another child. it felt right and complete...but by the time he was 2.5 i started crying over those huggies ad's again and i couldn't shake that desperation for another.

i guess my point is...feelings sometimes do change..and if they do, the age gap wont matter so much.

Yeah i know Mischa! Anything can happen! :yes:

Tamara, my husband has his brother who is his best friend, and, business patner and TBH its freaking annoying to have that as a wife! I embrace the closness of them, but, they take it to a stupid level! My BIL's patner feels the same way as i do as well. They have NO outside friendships, its just weird! lol!

My brother and i are mates, we love eachother, he would do anything for me and i would do anything for him, BUT, we have other friends. We dont depend on eachother for everything though.

Part of my reason that i am happy for just 1 is the over-bearing relationship my hubby and his brother have.

[Baldie's Mum]

I am also an only child. I really didn't have any issues with it. I grew up more quickly and was far more sensible and mature than other kids my age. My parents gave me a lot of freedom and although I wasn't spolied, financially more options were available to me.
When my husband and I started thinking about having a family I was certainly for having only one, my hubby wanted 2 as he has a sibling. Looks like he won that one as we are having twins:laughing:.





:D :D :cheerleader1::D:cheerleader1: :D :D

[peanutbutter&jelly]

Yeah i know Mischa! Anything can happen! :yes:

Tamara, my husband has his brother who is his best friend, and, business patner and TBH its freaking annoying to have that as a wife! I embrace the closness of them, but, they take it to a stupid level! My BIL's patner feels the same way as i do as well. They have NO outside friendships, its just weird! lol!

My brother and i are mates, we love eachother, he would do anything for me and i would do anything for him, BUT, we have other friends. We dont depend on each other for everything though.

Part of my reason that i am happy for just 1 is the over-bearing relationship my hubby and his brother have.

Honey, your entire IL's family is WEIRD. Do I have to remind you of your BIL's 'how people have twins' theory? :rolleyes: :no:
After I had Bella, at the same stage you're at, I felt complete too :yes: While I was pregnant with her I was trying to work out how I was going to tell B I didn't want anymore... things changed :)

[delirium]

I was an only until a teen and I didn't like it. Everyone used to say "oh I bet you get just spoilt rotten by your parents?" Ummm no I dont.... at all. I was pretty lonely tbh and by the time a sib come along I became a nurturer rather than gain a play mate.

But some onelies, as shown here had wonderful childhoods. I would say it depends more on the parents and your environment than on how many sibs you have.

[Baldie's Mum]

Honey, your entire IL's family is WEIRD. Do I have to remind you of your BIL's 'how people have twins' theory? :rolleyes: :no:
After I had Bella, at the same stage you're at, I felt complete too :yes: While I was pregnant with her I was trying to work out how I was going to tell B I didn't want anymore... things changed :)


:laughing:

i know they are weird! :rolleyes:

And this is my thought.......... they are f*cked! his family are f*cked and i am going around the country with them for business! there is no way around that. Josh loves his family company! lol! (:crying:) Do i want to bring more babies into this???? I love Tommy! He is a rockin kid! Do i want to add anymore craziness to the situation!!!! lol!!!!!

[flicker]

my mum was an only child. As kids she did not cope very well with my brother and i fighting as i think she grew up with a perfect image of what having a sibling meant. i can still hear her saying ''stop fighting, you are so lucky to have each other to play with":rolleyes: she just did not understand that fighting was actually fun and we are actually good mates. Mum was pretty happy as an only child but i think she did find it lonely at times but i think that was more of the nature of growing up in the era she did. What i notice is hard now is that she has not got another sibling to help her when her parents are sick. i know she has found that the most difficult thing, especially when she watches dad have the support of his two sisters now that his mum is sick.

i know this might not be an appropriate question to ask, so just ignore me. but do you think it may be your mind and body is just not wanting to go down the long ttc rd again? or just not ready to yet? that you are kind of protecting yourself from that hurt?

i am sure what ever you decided your little boy is very loved and will be blessed always to have a wonderful parents :hugs:

[Baldie's Mum]

i know this might not be an appropriate question to ask, so just ignore me. but do you think it may be your mind and body is just not wanting to go down the long ttc rd again? or just not ready to yet? that you are kind of protecting yourself from that hurt?



yeah i will NEVER do a full stim IVF cycle again. I have 5 frozen embies....so i will be a FET.

I hate not knowing what to do!!!!!!

[RoarsomeMum]

I was one of 5, DH one of 3. Neither of us wanted an only child. (In fact if my youthful diaries are anything to go by I wanted between 8-10 kids..)

But, life.. It's so unpredictable, so here we are with one, so blessed to have her.. But so sad that she will be the only one. (most likely, I mean miracles happen!)

Wish it was a real "choice" though.. Does not feel like it is atm.

I feel our family of 3 is perfect, but being old and being antisocial I would more than love for Roar to have someone else she can count on. I just continue to hope she makes great friends who can be her "siblings".

[Lil M]

Yes I was an only child & loved it. DS is an only child too, we never planned on more than one child (I'm 39 now so it's unlikely) I just don't think I could cope with another!!

[designertaste]

I was youngest of 3 girls (my older sisters are actually half sisters but we never say that becasue we are so very close). I had a great childhood, very happy and my parents had more than enough money to give us 3 girls everything we needed...but we were never overly spoiled. My DH is 1 of 3 sibs too.

We have one daughter and had one late miscarriage. The trauma of my pregnancy and the trauma of a late miscarriage kind of talked us out of having another baby. But there are def times when I want another child, but there never seems to be a right time to have one.

Im not one of those mothers who rush having babies either. I enjoy just having DD around. So I guess we'll see.