Son and father troubles

[mummy2Luca]

Well my 2.5 year old is going through a stage where he will only let me do anything for him. He will not let DH do anything. If he wants a drink and DH gets it he throws it. If he wants to get out of bath he will have a tantrum for an hour because DH did it and not me. etc etc.

At first I put the well you cant force him to like you approach and just go gentle with him. But now I am a bit sick of that because its making no difference and he should be fine with his own father. So now I was thinking of the "you are not the boss" and DH doing it anyway.

What are your thoughts and did any of you face this same dilema? I really have no idea if tough love or gentle ways are going to get through this.:freakingout:

[Pippy&Woof]

I have been through this a lot with my 2.5 year old DD, she's been like this on and off for a long time now. Especially when DS was born 10 months ago. I try and just ignore it and encourage DH to continue what he's doing, and I just reassure her that I'm there. I think it's just because they are most used to us, and are maybe just going through a clingy stage. But I sort of feel like the more I run to her and take over from DH, the less she will get used to him (which would just give my DH more excuses not to help, because "she wants you...").

Just keep reassuring him and try to just start with the small things first. Perhaps do things together for a little while (pick one thing first, like bathtime), then gradually make urself less involved. I try to talk DH up a bit and pretend it's exciting and say "ohhh is Daddy giving u a bath! Yay!" hahah

My DH is not around a lot due to work, so I encourage him to do something special with the kids every chance he can. Just taking them to the park, or playing tennis in the backyard or something, but something with just him. I've found that's made the kids a lot closer to him, in particular my DD.

[sammyplus3]

my ds is going through the same thing he is 3yrs old and it started around 2 2.5 and at first i was like oh dont be like that u need to be nice to daddy etc and was of the thought it was cos i am with him 24/7 and dh is always working. but let me tell u i hasnt stopped and it is really sh*tting me cos i cant do a bl**dy thing by myself i have to do everything for ds if i ask dh to do it and he trys ds will have a massive fit. our biggest is doing up the buckle on his car seat!! i have been at the point where i just say to dh u do it im not hlping just let ds have his tanty and get it done and ds gets im not doing it daddy is home and daddy is going to do it wether u like it or not

[Daydream Believer]

Hey there, a daddy posted a similar post the other day, but it was a daddy/daughter problem.
Just in case, here's the link. (I think it will work, I've not linked whilst on my phone before)
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?goxto=newpost&t=391053
All the best, hope the hubbers can help you out :)

[TimTamsandTea]

We have the same challenge here.

Everything (and I mean EVERYTHING) must be about/performed by mum and poor dad lives on the peripheral at the moment.

Ds is not quite 2 yet and it's been this way for at least two months.

I strongly believe it is phase. I also think it is connected to the fact that dh has been incredibly busy with work and has spent limited time with ds lately whilst I am a sahm.

I don't force the issue and I don't intend on doing so. But I do try my best to give ds and dh lots of one-on-one time and lurk in the background. I also highlight dh's efforts when ds rejects him (Daddy loves to help you! Maybe daddy can undo one buckle and mummy can undo the other?) Spending time as a family is also super important. Interestingly, ds is a little less intense on a Sunday, having had dad home for an extended period of time.

I don't feel that it's an issue of ds being manipulative or throwing his weight around. I feel it is connected to his sense of security.

Good luck. It is tricky. I know how horrible your hubby must feel. Just try to remind him that this will not last forever and he will have many years where he is the focus of ds's world!

[Hokey Pokey]

I'm hearing you lol!
My 2.5 and 3.5 year olds BOTH do this and it drives us batty :freakingout:

[mummy2Luca]

wow im glad im not the only one going through this.

sammyplus3 - tell me about it isnt it frustrating! thats the approach we have been taking.

sloppykissesmonterhugs - yeah i have noticed on the days DH is home all day its slightly less.

oopsiedaisy - Batty is the word, have you found a way to make it slightly easier on yourself and kiddies?

DH and DS will find a way im sure because next weekend im going away for my brothers wedding and they are staying home together.

[sammyplus3]

if dh takes ds out by himself its all fine its only when im around that he does it dh takes ds out almost every second weekend to see his half brothers (my dh's 2 boys from previous relationship) he is fine then and loves his time away. aslo if we all go shopping daddy has to do everything push the trolly do up the buckle in his car seat open his door etc until dh tells him off for something then its back to mum i only want mum.