Problem with grandparents

[Belby]

Thank you for comments

[Briannabear]

Dear Belby,

I can really sympathise with your situation. Mine is fairly similar. My mother was badly abused when she was a child by both her mother and step-father. :( She also had a half-sister who was never abused and was treated like a princess. She has little or no cantact with them now. Over the years as my brothers and I were growing up we had some contact with her, but it always ended up in heartache when she would just pretend we didnt exist. As for my mothers real father, we have barely had any contact with him at all - he would prefer to think that we dont exist.

I have battled with the same problem for my DD, as to whether or not we will make the effort to keep in contact with either of them.

I have come to the conclusion that a relationship has to be a two way street. I wont force my children to get to know these people, only to be let down time and time again like we were. I have made a couple of phone calls to them since Brianna was born, but I am yet to recieve any back. I havent spoken to my grandfather or aunt in years. I believe they have to make an effort too. My grandfather hasnt even acknowleged the fact she was born.

I am lucky enough to also have grandparents on my fathers side who are absolutely wonderful. I couldnt ask for more sweet, caring, supportive grandparents. They make up for the lack of care etc on my mum's side of the family (for us anyway).

I wont pretend that they dont exist as my children grow up. But I dont even have a photo of them to show the kids. I only have a couple of my nanna. However, I believe that now the ball is in their court. I have made the attempt to introduce her to them, they now need to make an effort. Until then, our children can just enjoy my fathers parents for the wonderful people they are. (history tells me that I'll be waiting a long time :rolleyes: ) :)

Good luck in whatever you choose to do - I genuinely feel your pain with this one!