Hubby works long hours!!

[GracieV]

Hello Ladies,

I was just about to post a thread and winge about the long hours my hubby works when I saw this forum, if I thought I had it hard, I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a hubby working away. How DO you do it?

I'm tearing my hair out as it is with him working 12 hour days, but what really peeves me (would like to use stronger words there, but will restrain myself!!) is when he comes home, locks himself in the room and works some more!!! while I'm clearly climbing the walls and kids are running amok.

How do you stay calm? Do you feel resentment towards them at all? I know and try to have empathy that he is supporting our family, but I sometimes wonder is it all worth it? It's not like we live in mansion and go out weekly on our yacht lol.

We live in a city away from family & friends with no support, at least my older 2 are in fulltime school now and I just have bubs, but it's the before & after school which is hard.

Just would like some advice on coping skills and keeping mood intact and the love alive!!

Thanks girls

Gracie xx

[bluejuice]

My DH used to be quote like yours, and I couldn't survive it any longer. For much more mo ey he now is away for 4 weeks and home for 9 days. Which has been the saving grace for our marriage. Home time is now quality time. I no longer resent him, or feel hard dome by.

[Pippy&Woof]

To be honest, I don't keep it together most of the time! DH works very long hours and is basically always on-call to companies, and he often works weekends and has meetings, work functions etc, exam study to do, assignments and presentations, and organising training schedules. He also works away sometimes for weeks on end (like FIFO but cones home and goes straight back to his regular job. He is almost always doing some sort of work, and although I respect him for trying to have a nice life for us and our 2 young kids I do resent him for it sometimes. It's hard, but I don't know I just somehow juggle it all and manage to make things work. It feels like my house is always in chaos, but I know one day when the kids are a little older I'll be able to keep it more under control.

I don't have any family nearby, and my parents don't come up to stay anymore because DH had a falling out with them and neither party really wants to see each other, so I think that's been the hardest thing. But DH leaves to go away for a couple of weeks again next week, so hopefully I'll be able to see my family a bit while he's away. I don't like being on my own with the 2 kids, at night is the worst.

It's really hard isn't it, because we know they work very hard.. But sometimes I feel as if he thinks I have an easy life lounging around at home all day. Actually I know he thinks that, this morning when he left for work he said "have a nice day in paradise"! It would just be so nice to have a husband who came home and left work at work, and was attentive to the kids for more than 20 seconds at a time. My Dad is so good with all his grandchildren, I wish DH could be more like that.

[bluejuice]

It's so important to have family support. I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. Maybe that is what you can ask for on your birthday- for the past to be just that, respect of differences, and a peaceful reconciliation. You never know when your luck can change, this might just be your year yet! Best wishes!

[cookie087]

My partner is military, so unfortunately is away by no choice of our own. I have to agree with pp, most of the time I don't cope, just try my best to make it through each day until I see him again. So far we haven't seen him since January, and have no idea when he will be back, but I just try count my blessings that I am lucky enough to have someone as amazing as him in my life, and know that he is safe (for the time being) and not deployed to war.

I don't feel resentment towards him as I know he wants to be here as much as we want him here. Some days I'm angry, most days upset, but I don't hate him, or resent him, I just hate the circumstances.

[HART]

Hello Ladies,

I was just about to post a thread and winge about the long hours my hubby works when I saw this forum, if I thought I had it hard, I can't imagine how hard it would be to have a hubby working away. How DO you do it?

I'm tearing my hair out as it is with him working 12 hour days, but what really peeves me (would like to use stronger words there, but will restrain myself!!) is when he comes home, locks himself in the room and works some more!!! while I'm clearly climbing the walls and kids are running amok.

How do you stay calm? Do you feel resentment towards them at all? I know and try to have empathy that he is supporting our family, but I sometimes wonder is it all worth it? It's not like we live in mansion and go out weekly on our yacht lol.

We live in a city away from family & friends with no support, at least my older 2 are in fulltime school now and I just have bubs, but it's the before & after school which is hard.

Just would like some advice on coping skills and keeping mood intact and the love alive!!

Thanks girls

Gracie xx

Honey what you doing, in my opinion is harder that FIFO - my DH does 2 weeks away 1 week home. You cope because there is no one else there to do it and some days when it hits that dreaded bath, cook dinner, crazy time it all turns to mess but you get through it and get them to bed, clean up all the mess and then relax for five... I find it so much harder if he is there physically but not helping, I don't care how tired you are, busy you are if the kids are all screaming at once and I am trying to cook dinner I WANT your help NOW!!!! and get peeved if they don't help or don't seem to hear. I find it harder when he is home than when I am on my own, cause I run everything by my schedule, know what needs doing and do it, rather than having to consider them - geez that makes me sounds like a lovely wife :rolleyes:

Have you tried explaining to your DH how you feel, can he do the work later so he can help with the crazy hour? Yes we appreciate they work hard but it is also important to respect the fact that we also work hard and at times we need a hand. Can he cut down his hours at all or can you put your little one in daycare just to give you a few hours break? The only other thing I would suggest is prepare dinner early so it is ready to go when it comes to that time of night. Hope things start improving soon...

[LovingMumof2]

Omg Gracie I was laughing so hard reading your post. I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband leaves for work before the kids get gets up of a morning and gets home when the oldest is going off to bed. Then when we do have family time it seems his checking emails every ten minutes (thanks to the new company’s iphones) or he is in the study working. Even driving in the car we all have to be quite as he takes work calls. Where is the family/work life balance in all of this? I know he is working to support the family but seriously? I feel like a single mum half the time.
P.S I think we need to do coffee lol...

[Gracie's Mum]

:hugs:I am in the same situation OP. Hoping to get some inspiration from the other ladies! It's hard.