Bottle independence

[heeeeerekittykitty]

I'm actually abit embarassed to ask this question for fear of reactions like those I got yesterday from MIL and extended family :-( same sh*t different day regarding their constant opinions and reactions to my ds and my parenting , I could go on all day about the rubbish I heard yesterday .

Does anyones 12month old still not hold their own bottle ? What about older than 12 months and still not holding it themselves ?

Ds doesn't . Goes and retrieves he's sippy cup all day long and drinks out of it on he's own . Drinks out of a cup on he's own . Out of a straw . But bottles, no.

2 Main reasons I think are a) he has long narrow nuk bottles , he can hold them but it's awkward. Their not as compact as the short fatter ones, and b ) I've never tried to " train" him to do it . I'm a believer in when he's ready he'll do it , and besides , when he does hold it all he does is play with it, squirt milk in hes eye , and drench himself with milk .

Someone on my behalf ( innocently ) decided to tell a whole baby shower crowd I'm still feeding a one yr old at night . Of course it was pure ridicule but when they discovered I actually have to - lift ds out the cot . Bring him to the couch . Feed him. Back in the cot . My goodness . To them it was laughable ???? It would have been more accepted had I said that I prop the
bottle under he's chin in the cot. Which is
what they suggested . Yeah , because the wriggle bum is really gonna sit still like a robot and not move and end up with a milk bed .

I think he'll be feeding at night for a
long time yet . Which means I'll be doing
this for a long time yet .

I feel like a moron . I feel like my son is behind in some major thing he SHOULD be doing .

Wow , what a ramble all over a bottle ( slinks away embarassed :-( .... Anyone ?

Ps - on a bright note , my every 2-3 hr waker since birth has for the last five nights gone to bed as usual at 7 , then woke again at 10pm and 2am for a feed , then up at 6. For him, this is AMAZING . Even if it doesnt last , I'm so proud of him that he's done a few longer stretches :-) as for me, I class this as one wake up only yay!!( 10:30 don't count in my book, I'm up anyway )

Anyway, bit*h and whine over sorry :-(

[Nomsie]

Ah... at 12 months I still fed my boys at night.. it was breastfeeding, so I had to get them out, feed them and put them back in.. it's a lot more personal and attached- they're getting human comfort as well as food in their bellies- isn't that what babies need?

There is so much detachment happening with parenting these days it's scary! :(

If you are still happy to hold your bub's bottle, then why should anyone else care? :confused:

Gah! People!! :hair:

[Lemonhead]

My DS didn't hold his bottle until after he was 1 and started daycare 1 day a week :)

[OurLittleBlessing]

Totally agree. What on earth is wrong with what you are doing?

You sound like a loving, caring, attentive Mum to me. I think your son is lucky.

[OurLittleBlessing]

Oh, and my almost 13 month old still has the odd night feed too (BF).... it's really not as uncommon as people would have you believe....

[TripleTime]

I was still holding bottles at 12 months & still do at 21 months if someone is super tired & just wants cuddles. Still doing night feeds at 16 months, fed them in their own beds while we held the bottle. Other wise they'd think it was play time.

[pumpkinears]

Don't feel embarrassed, my 2 and half year old DS still doesn't hold his own bottle. He has a snuggly blanket that he likes to wrap round his fingers while having his milk... I love that special time between us!

[chickpea]

i was under the impression that feeding milk was not just about nutrition? its about bonding and having a cuddle, time to reconnect during the day (and night).

would anyone mock and laugh if someone was still bfing over 12 months (they probably would but thats another story) if you are bfing you have to hold your baby close, you cant detach your boob and hand it to them, why should bottle feeding be any different?

a friend and i who is a midwife had this conversation once, and she said for her the main issue with bottle feeding is some people try as quick as they can to get their baby to feed themselves (or prop feed) thus missing out on those cuddle and bonding opportunities

yeah he probably could hold the bottle himself if he wanted, but whats so bad about him wanting and needing that few minutes to be close to you?

why are some people in such a rush to detach themselves from their babies?

[Moxy]

I don't *want* DS to hold his bottle. When he does, I take it back. It's only a short time in his life that I'm going to get bonding moments like that so I cherish every feed.

Research now shows that giving a baby a bottle in bed on their own is linked to tooth decay in babies.

And it's so detached. Makes me think of Romanian orphan babies :(

[AndrewTheEmu]

Dont be embaressed :hugs: shame on those girls for making fun of you!

My DD is only 8 months but i dont believe she will ever hold her own bottle, mainly because like you, i have always done it for her. Day and night she gets a snuggle in my arms turned inwards facing my breast and i hold it for her. She has never so much as put a hand on her bottle. shes usually stroaking my breast or face :goodvibes: which i absolutlyu love. Ive never proped her bottle up for her either. But she too will retrieve her own sippy cap of water and drink from that. So i know its not a hand/eye co-ordination thing or anything to do with her development, it just because a snuggle bottle with mum is SOOOO much better and SOOOO much less effort then lying in your cot doing it yourself. ;)

[ALHmum]

I got rid of bottles at 12 months so no problem here. Sippy cup all the way from there. But neither of my kidddies looked like they had any intention of holding a bottle prior to then.

[pinkbella]

DD is one next month and the most she will do is hold her bottle in the beginning but as soon as you have to hd it higher to get the
Milk then she just puts the bottle down and waits for me to hold it lol. I don't mind though, they're only babies once!!!

[Nemmy]

I was still holding DD2's bottle of milk before bed each night until she decided she no longer wanted a bottle at 16 months. Like your LO, she quite hapilly drank water from a sippy cup on her own all day long but when it came to her bottle (she refused to drink milk from a sippy cup) she wanted me to hold it for her. There were a few times just before she gave up her last bottle that she might have held the bottle a little bit more, but she still wanted to rest on me while she had it anyway. I didn't mind at all, I enjoyed those snuggles.

I also held DD1's bottle until switching to give her her milk in a sippy cup at 12 months. She quite happily made the change to having milk from a sippy cup, unlike DD2.

As you can see from all these posts, you certainly aren't the only one and the next time someone mentions it to you, tell them to check out bubhub!

[Parrmum]

Here's something you should tell your friends - babies, at any age, should NEVER be left to give themselves a bottle at their leisure, as they tend to suck on it for ages and take their time, and end up with tooth decay.

Dentists and doctors have recently began suggesting that mothers do not bottle feed AT ALL due to the terrible problems it is causing children as young as twelve months (not saying I agree with that, just stating a fact. )

Futhermore, I personally would never leave a child in bed with a bottle to take at their leisure - what if they drink half of it, fall asleep, and then drink the rest the next morning? Milk should never be left out and then drunk after a period of time.


To sum up - you're doing the right thing :)

[the girls mum]

:wave: Kitty!

Ahhh big poo bum fart p1ss piddle to your in laws and whoever else is giving you a hard time!

My dd was the same - and still to this day (yes she is 2.5 and I still give her a bottle with milk :eek:) if she is feeling sick or cuddly or tired she will ask me to 'feed her' - just means I get to snuggle her a bit longer, which is fine by me cause I think our bottle feeding days will be over soon due to her suddenly wanting them in bed (teeth / milk / bedtime issues haha).

Big :hugs:

[Californication]

:hugs: It was very mean of your family to do that to you. I don't think there is anything wrong with what you are doing. My DS was about 9 months (I think) when he started holding his own bottle and it upset me! I enjoyed our snuggles when I fed him, but suddenly he wanted to do it himself and didn't even want the snuggles! After a few days we found something that worked for both of us. He sits on my lap and leans on me, I get to snuggle and he gets to have some independence. He still runs off sometimes, but mostly I get my snuggles!!

My point in all that, is to enjoy it while you can!


Here's something you should tell your friends - babies, at any age, should NEVER be left to give themselves a bottle at their leisure, as they tend to suck on it for ages and take their time, and end up with tooth decay.

Dentists and doctors have recently began suggesting that mothers do not bottle feed AT ALL due to the terrible problems it is causing children as young as twelve months (not saying I agree with that, just stating a fact. )

Futhermore, I personally would never leave a child in bed with a bottle to take at their leisure - what if they drink half of it, fall asleep, and then drink the rest the next morning? Milk should never be left out and then drunk after a period of time.


To sum up - you're doing the right thing :)

Totally agree with all of that. Letting them have bottles in bed can be so damaging to their teeth. I've been guilty of doing it when he won't give up the empty bottle, but I sneak in when he's asleep and get it out of the cot. No way I want him having even a drop of old yucky milk.

[heeeeerekittykitty]

Hi all ! I can't thank each and every one of you enough for your replies , you have all made me feel so much better .

I can't explain how grateful I am each and every time I post a concern and get so many helpful reassuring replies , I will never stop being grateful for bubhub :-)

The sad part was that for the first time in 12 months , instead of enjoying last Nights night feeds , I sat there stressing that I was doing wrong by ds for not somehow " making" him learn to feed himself he's own bottle . Tonight I'll be back to gazing at he's precious angel face while he rubs my arm :-) thx for helping me get that joy back , your all so kind . Love kitty xoxo

[share a book]

My bestie was unable to breastfeed due to a disability with her son so he had EBM only right from birth. She refused to allow anyone else to feed her bub and he's not long turned 3 and never held his bottle, from birth to when he gave it up at just over 2 years of age. She now has a new bub who is able to go on the breast and the 2 of them have had the same type of skin to skin contact, the same type of eye contact, the same kind of bonding. If I wasn't able to breastfeed I would use a bottle the same way she did. Even for his one bottle a day he was having before weaning, she would sit on her bed with him and give it to him in her arms before putting him to bed. Whether she continues to breastfeed this bub or not, he will be treated in the same way as his big brother was. The older 3 all had boob as bubs into toddlerhood as well.