Help With Dummy Weaning?? [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

Kirky

13-09-2005, 04:15

My DS is 5 months old next week and has used a dummy since he was about 2 weeks old. I would like to now wean him off it, as he is waking 4,5,6 or more times a night wanting it put back in his mouth. He is obviously reliant on it for settling. The sleep deprivation this is causing my husband and I, is driving us nuts. I'm seeking other parents stories who have tried weaning off the dummy when their babies were around this age (as I think it's different for older children). Did you go cold turkey, or use a gradual process? How long did you let them cry at night before caving in? With me, it's generally about 5 minutes, as he starts to get really worked up after that. If you went cold turkey, how long did it take before your baby started self-settling? He doesn't really seemed to need the dummy to sleep during the day, only at night. He is still too little to find the dummy in the cot and put it back in his mouth himself, and I would like to wean him before he gets to this stage anyway.

Any suggestions or tips would be greatly appreciated!

emilia-rose

13-09-2005, 17:18

Don't worry, you're not alone. My bub is 5 and a half months and is so reliant on the dummy to sleep, she wakes 2-5 times a night. I tried the cold turkey method twice!...and failed - I lasted 2 days and got so distraught I caved. She is still being wrapped, but has also been getting out of her wrap which wakes her at night aswell. She tries to put the dummy back in but ends up playing with it and gets frustrated so she cries. Sorry I can't offer you any advice, but if you get any, I'd love to hear it!

Will&MattsMum

13-09-2005, 17:30

I too have been having problems (my LO is six months old) and have just spent a week in at a Mother and Baby Unit trying to get the sleeping sorted out.

The advice they gave me (as I was still wrapping and using the dummy) was to try getting rid of things one at a time. During the week I was able to get rid of the wrapping and now my LO sleeps on his tummy without a wrap and as a bonus I have found that his dummy stays in really well. They advised that I don't get rid of the dummy just yet but limit it only to the bed so he is not to have it outside of the bed at all. Their advice for getting rid of the dummy was to introduce something else like a small piece of cloth or a small soft toy (without a rattle or anyother noise in it!) and then once they are interested in that start trying to settle without the dummy, using the dummy only as a last resort with the settly, then slowly slowly they will start to settle without it.

It will take time but unfortunately you will need to hang in there.

Good luck.

MoushiMoushi

13-09-2005, 18:24

We had the same prob. with our DS and his attachment with his dummy. I hated having to get up 100 times a night just to put it back in :eek:
From the research I've read they say its not a good idea to start control crying till after the 6 month mark due to develpment reasons.
We just perservered and this phase of waking during the night and needing the dummy to resettle did stop, I think it was around the 6 or 7 month mark for our son. Some good news though, our son just gave the dummy up himself at about 8.5 months. It was great :D one night he just refused to take it and ever since he hasnt had it, it was around the time that he started getting his first teeth actually and he started biting on his dolly or his blankie instead. Hopefully your son will be the same :) However if he doesnt give it up by himself then I would try cold turkey, dont cave in as this will just confuse bub and make him even more determined to have his own way!
As his only 5 months I'd personally leave it till his a little older but probably before the 12 month mark as they get more determined as they get older LOL :D

Goodluck

j&k'smum

13-09-2005, 22:57

My little girl is two and still has her bloody dummy!!! I have tried to get her to give it up but she becomes hysterical without it. I feel so sorry for her and then end up giving it back to her. She has three comfort things, her "bot bot" her dummy and her teddy. It has been so crazy at times that I have just wanted to get the bottles and the dummy and put them in the bin!!!! It so frustrating.!!
I sometimes wonder if she is just like me and becomes sentimentally attached to these things??? Sounds silly but I don't know what else it could be!!! My son, gave up his dummy on his own, and I had no problems getting the bottle off of him.
I have started to get her to leave the dummy in the car if we go to the shops with teddy, and I have started to say no to her demands for the bottle.
The last time I threw a dummy in the bin was disasterous so I am scared to try it again. Do I wait til she gives it up on her own or what?? A friend of mine's daughter has just stopped having the dummy and she is nearly three.!!!
She was a baby that woke for her dummy all the time. Thankfully that passed now and she doesn't wake up for it.
Maybe its all just a slow process and I need to chill and accept that?? Every kid is different and maybe with much patience, coaxing, determination, and prayers, it will happen!! lol (Pray for me PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!)
Sorry for the rant...just frustrated !! :p

sasholi

14-09-2005, 20:26

My son is just over six months old and he is/was addicted to dummy. He went through a great phase of about 2 weeks when he was 5 months old where we only had to get up once or twice a night to reinsert dummy - total out of bed time: 30 seconds each.

But for the last week and a half we had been getting up out of bed to reinsert dummy anywhere upwards of 4 times a night. On the worst night it was 12 times!!!!!!! Hubby and I were exhausted. We had been getting up to him for the dummy overnight since he was 12 weeks old exactly.

Anyway, after much inner searching and reading and discussing and tears and frustration and prayers that it would "sort itself out" (I was convinced he would give it up himself!) we decided to do a little modified version of controlled crying: based on 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 minutes intervals. Put to bed after wind-down routine, out for 2 min, in for 2, out for 4, in for 4 etc.

We started yesterday. So far, we have gone as far as the 8 min once (40 mins), but far I would say he has responded quite well. Last night he woke three times, chatted to himself, then went back to sleep without the dummy. Hubby and I didn't have to get out of bed for the first time since he was 12 weeks old!!

I can say "beginner's luck" though cause today wasn't quite as good - though we had a very disrupted day with having to visit a relative in an emergency. But we'll see how it goes!

They don't recommend this type of "controlled crying" under six months of age, and I can totally understand why. I was very very sceptical and have had to deal with my own feelings of being a bad mum because of doing controlled crying. But when I was waking up miserable and disconnected every morning because of no sleep, I wasn't being a very good mum then anyway. So I figure, bubs gets heaps and heaps of cuddles all the time, so to leaving to cry for these periods of time should be OK.

I just want the energy to love him and have fun with him again!! Surely that's more important!
Cheers everyone.
Happy parenting and good luck!

Kirky

15-09-2005, 10:55

Thank you all for your responses. We have started the process now and it hasn't been as hard as I thought it would be.

He's been okay during the day, he'll go down for a sleep without the dummy and grisle for about 20 minutes before falling asleep.

Unfortunately, Monday night I caved in and gave him the dummy, as I was too tired to be bothered. Tuesday night he fell asleep without it but woke up at 3.30am wanting it. After 40 minutes of crying, I still couldn't settle him, so I got him up and gave him a bottle, but I still didn't give him the dummy. Last night he cried for 20 minutes when I put him to bed without it and then fell asleep. He woke up at midnight wanting it, but I persisted, and he fell asleep after
20 minutes of crying and he slept right through until 5.45am!

So it seems to be getting easier every sleep. I think he'll be right by the end of the week hopefully! It's so hard. 20 minutes of crying seems like 2 hours that time of night! But we'll get through it.

Thanks again.

Chickadee

15-09-2005, 12:40

J&K's mum,
It certainly gets harder to get rid of the dummy when they get older. DD used to only have hers for sleeping but was sick recently and got it whenever she wanted, so we're having some trouble now. Generally I get her to put it away in her bed, she loves putting things away still and being independent. Doing this right before breakfast is usually successful, as opposed to the minute she gets out of bed. Other tricks are to put it in a pocket, even when she's really demanding for it she seems to accept that if its in her pocket it's close enough for comfort. We lucked out on getting rid of bottles - she couldn't have milk or formula when she was sick, so after a week of no bottles I just didn't bring them back out again. Yay! :)
Good luck

j&k'smum

15-09-2005, 23:20

Thanks for your little tips. i do that too, try and distract her from the thought of it. We've really made progress witht he bot bot drama too so it has been good. Have really stuck to my guns and although she resists initailly, if I keep saying "no bottle, You can have it in a cup," she will give in after about 20 mins. It gets so draining but so worth the drain!! lol. When she says, juice in a cup please mum", i can't get to the cupboard fast enough! lol.
Have lost dummy today so hopefully it stays that way. Won't repeat myself tho, answered your other post re dummy's. :) :)

emilia-rose

20-09-2005, 10:31

Wow, there's been some great advice posted. I agree with the notion of getting rid of 1 thing at a time- I've tried to get rid of the wrap (by losening it, by leaving 1 arm out) but none have worked, so I just figured she's not ready. So I think I might get rid of the dummy 1st, with Aleksander's mum's suggestion. I would love to hear more about it and how you did it and how you are going.
Kirky- congrat's ...I think this is the hardest thing we mum's have had to do so far!

j&k'smum

20-09-2005, 21:59

Hi. Just wanted to express my joy with getting to day 5 with NO DUMMY !!! I can't beleive it happend so easily. !! She has been really good and has only looked for it once and asked for it a couple of times. I guess because she is older I can tell her it's "lost" and she accepts that.
So to anyone who cares...I think the dummy days are over.!! Now for toilet training???!!!
Best of luck to everyone with their weaning. :)

Kirky

01-10-2005, 12:08

Well it's now been about three weeks without a dummy, and weaning him off it was the best thing we ever did. He is now sleeping from 6.30-5.30 every night and not waking!

It only really took about 5 nights of controlled crying and BANG!, it's like he'd never had one before.

I thoroughly recommend to anyone losing sleep at night over dummies to try weaning. You'll look back like I am now and say "Why didn't I do it sooner?!"

gracelet

03-10-2007, 14:55

We are going through the same problem at the moment. My daughter is 5.5 months and we are having the same night waking troubles with wanting the dummy and have been wandering whether to wean. Reading this thread has convinced me to do it and I'm just wandering kirky, whether you introduced any other comforter eg teddy etc. I'm anticipating a terrible time with the weaning process as she is totally dependant on her dummy for settling both day and night.

mumslilspunks

04-10-2007, 13:31

Im having the same problem but my son is 8mnths old. Do you think the controlled crying will work at his age?

tammac77

04-10-2007, 14:49

hi!

Our baby is same age and we have just weaned her off dummy for same reason. Wouldn't really say weaned - just went cold turkey and stopped using it altogether. We have been using controlled comforting to put her to sleep. She has been totally fine.

Hasn't been waking up during night since we took away the dummy and can now go to sleep on her own. It's been so easy. But maybe we've just been lucky!

Good luck

jakeanteleahsmum

04-10-2007, 18:02

my ds is 15mths old and he still has his dummy but only at bed time and even then it is only for 10 minutes until he is fast asleep then it pops out of his mouth.he doesnt have it any other time and although i keep one in my bag just incase when we are out ive never had to give it to him yet.

congrats to all you mums who have got rid of the dummy:yelclap:

Thermolicious

13-11-2007, 11:33

:banghead: After the first night in hospital my son nursed the whole night much to the shock of my nipples I relented and gave him a dummy.

:sleeping: We have now just started the whole getting up to put-the-dummy-back-in process (AHHHH!!!).

:idea: I called my local Nagala centre and they advised to wean him by letting him suck until he settles and removing it before he falls asleep.

:devil6: It worked the first night but then he caught on, I gave up but if I had of persisted I think it would of worked!

:smiliedance: We also wrapped him as he seemed more settled, we have just stopped wrapping him (cold turkey) as he used to "houdine" out of it, he seems to he coping well. If he wakes through he settles better on his tummy (I just roll him over).

:fingerscrossed: I think I will try the dummy again when we have finished with the wrap.

Good Luck to you all!

10 wks, 8p, 3oz
can't wait for next one

babymac

04-05-2008, 11:34

Hi there, my bub is 5 months old and was the same. She went from sleeping 8-12 hours at night and several day sleeps of at least 1 hr with very little crying to waking some nights every hour to have the dummy put back in. At the advice of the BHN I went cold turkey and replaced the dummy with a soft teddy and a teething ring. I am unable to settle her during the day and she now sleeps through the night again but it takes up to 3 hrs to settle her. She is very distressed and I wonder if anyone has further settling advice.:hair::hair:

giselleld

22-06-2009, 07:19

Hi there, just wanting some advice. My little girl Emmy is four months and is waking me up frequently during the night for her dummy. We have tried to wean her a couple of times before but gave up after a day or two as she just cries and cries. I get up about 9 times a night, two or three are for feeds and the rest for the dummy. Grr :banghead: The problem i have that i'm not sure how to go about is that she gets hysterical so quickly if we dont give her the dummy when we put her to sleep. I'm worried that i'm letting her get used to having to cry like that then fall asleep from exhaustion. I have been letting her cry for about 30secs to a minute then i will pick her up, she calms down fairly quickly and then we start over. When she starts to get tired of crying i pat and shush her and she falls asleep. Also not sure how to go about the waking at night. I'm so tired and in a state of zombie-itis that i find it hard to concentrate of settling her. Might have to just have a couple of sleepless nights...cant be worse then getting up so frequently. really have to persevere though as it's all getting too much. She still wakes three hourly for feeds and i'm hoping quitting the dummy will help with this too. :sleeping:

whiteroses

12-07-2009, 12:38

hi giselleld. Just wondering how you went with the dummy weaning, as I am contemplating doing the same thing now with my 8-mnth DS. We are also getting up so frequently at night that I have to try something before I go completely insane. How did you go? Did it work? Did you have just a couple of bad nights then she got the hang of it?
thanks

Lucky2b Mum

12-07-2009, 13:06

We are almost thru with dummy weaning!!

I've got to say it was the hardest week of my life!

I phoned Tresillian (sp?) twice and the advice they gave me...

* It will take up to 45min to get DS2 to sleep
* Go in every 5 - 10 min to shhh him and let him know everything is alright
* If he's still crying after 45min, sit with him and pat him off to sleep
* Try not to get him out of the cot to settle him

I started to wean him off the dummy during his day sleeps first. I'd rock him in my arms, or put him in the pram and walk until he fell asleep. Then I tackled the night sleep. :hissy:

It's ugly, but worth it. He is now sleeping through from 7pm to 6.30am :goodvibes:

I still have some issues, but we're almost there now.

Good luck!

Mique

12-07-2009, 21:41

hi everyone
Havent read all the responses but wanted to suggest an alternative to weaning off the dummy! I have done some research and asked around, and finally tried this. I got a small piece of ribbon (less than 10cm) tie it in the button hole of DDs sleep suit, loop it through the dummy and in the night she puts it back in herself.

During the day I used to put her dummy on a chain and she played with it and practiced putting it in her mouth and letting it go...took about 3 weeks for her to master this skill. She doesnt have a dummy in the day anymore.

Now I dont need to go and replace the dummy...it's always right near her mouth! ;) and there isnt a risk doing this, the ribbon is too short to be a choking hazard! :thumbsup:

whiteroses

13-07-2009, 09:52

rambino

24-07-2009, 09:29

Hi there
I'm on day 5 of weaning my 14 week DD, we're making progress but in a way i feel like we're getting no where, I can't get her to sleep unless I pat her to sleep in my arms, and the nights are getting progressivley worse, last night she woke up every 90 minutes and the only way i could stop her from crying was to feed her and she didn't bring any of it up. I'm happy that i've lasted this long without the dummy, but in a way i'm feeling like now she is relying on me even more. Did any of you find this? Is it worth going back to the dummy but controlling its use?
Your advice is appreciated.
Thanks

giselleld

25-07-2009, 09:57

hi there, i have tried several times to wean my baby off the dummy and each time she wasnt happy at all. I just decided that she could keep it but only when she went to bed or if she got upset in the car. I've found that this has worked really well, she is a lot less dependent on it, altho still needs it to fall asleep. I'm still getting up a couple of times in the night to pop it back in but i just figure that it wont be long before she can put it back in herself. Besides, i'm way too tired in the night to pat her to sleep etc. It's a dream to be able to put her in her cot, and if she has the dummy, she goes off to sleep on her own with no problems.
Hope it gets better for you!

arohasmum

05-01-2010, 11:37

All I can say is PHEW!! Our bub has just turned 5 months and we're having the issue of the 'dummy run' from about 2.30 every morning....my partner and I are tired and bedraggled....

My Partner never had this issue with his other three children so I was feeling inadequate, but thanks to your postings I no longer feel that way....yay! Of course this doesn't solve our problem of the 'dummy run' but it has provided us with solutions.... Must discuss your posts with my Partner tonight and see what he thinks....

Thanks everyone!!!