quick response needed!!

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

what would you do?
DH's ex just rang and asked us to have kids tonight...DH flies out at 6 am tomorrow and is working till 6pm tonight...last time I will see him till 4 weeks time...he has not packed and I have no food for kids in cupboard...we would love to see them but...she only ever does this when she wants to go out on big druggy night out...and she then if we say no or DH says will have to ask Georgie - "you dont want your ******* kids etc etc" of course we do but some notice would be great and she then expects us to travel 50km to collect and drop off? So what would you do?? She says if we dont have them tonight we cant have them for the agreed school holidays - I hate this I feel I am being blackmailed!"!

[subaruforestermum]

Tell her she has to feed them before you pick them up........and although its bowing down to her orders, I would take them, for the sake of the kids....as she wuill prob start bad mouthing their dad to them too........ BUt in the end it is your decision.........Goodluck..........with making your decision....

[Nickster]

No, I wouldn't take them - what's the point of only spending a few hours with them anyway before he flies out? I'd say she's just looking for a cheap babysitter....

Unless it's a genuine emergency, I wouldn't bow down to her wishes - she needs to realise you have your own lives to lead, and that she needs to give you some notice.

I wouldn't worry about her bad-mouthing you to them anyway - she probably would at any rate, and I'm sure when the holidays come around she'll only be too pleased to let you have them....

Sorry if I sound a bit hard-nosed about it all - been there, done that.:rolleyes:

[KarniF00l]

Yep i totally agree with Nickster in this situation. Why bow down to her so that she can have a night of fun ?

I wouldn't worry too much about her bad mouthing to the kids about thier dad and your DH because in situations like this..remember as the children get older they get much more observant with whats going on around them IYKWIM. ;)

[aggero]

:hugs: we used to have a similar situation, a call at last mo to take have DSD so she could go out for the night. We used to give in as otherwise 2yo DSD was left with a 13yo babysiter for the night. Used to annoy the hell out of me but I figured DSD's safety was worth more than our plans being mucked about.

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

thanks everyone!! waiting to hear back as she not happy we cant have them until at least 6.30 as DH not home and that she has to drop off...I wont have them at the mo without DH as she tells all sorts of stories(about me) and last conversation had this week she called me a silly ***** (all because I asked where to send DSD's bracelet as she had told my DH she was going to stay at her dads from this week! ) thanks for all your wise words :) Either way I am getting the next door neighbour to witness diary that they stayed etc etc...

[pegasus]

I hear you mytillieroo...

Been in this situation many times. Lots of times we've taken the kids in, with DH grumbling as he doesn't want to "give in to her", however I remind him that it's not about her, it's about the kids and as aggero said - sometimes we weren't sure how they were being looked after otherwise.

I now say to DH that it's up to him, as I really don't like getting them on a moment's notice, but I figure I took them on when I married him. He's more likely to say no as I think more about the fact that even though we've probably been asked as she wants a night out and yes, it's to fit in with her, it is for the kids.

When we say no, we usually don't see the kids for a while as she thinks she's punishing us (really she's punishing the kids).

We have been known to get pizza on the nights this has happened as I don't usually plan dinner for 2 extras either, sometimes money doesn't stretch properly, but toasted ham and cheese sandwiches are sometimes an alternative.

Bottom line is if we have something planned (a special dinner or whatever) we will put our foot down and have been known to say no when DH is going away too.

In your situation I'd say no this time, and even if she wants to withold access, it's 4weeks till your hubby is around again - it will give her time to cool off - that would be my reasoning if in your situation.

Good luck:p

[mythreelittlemonkeys]

well afraid we caved but really because of the kids...
wise words everyone...thanks
this wont be a situation we will let happen again as stern words were spoken by DH and its pizza for tea tonight!

[LilShenanigans]

get caller ID....

(only thing I could think of... possibly for future occasions?)

[luckytiger]

I think in this situation I would take them, but at the same time you need to let her know that se cannot continue to do this and she needs to give you more time. Good Luck:fingerscrossed: