Hubby misses out on everything

[MilkOnTap]

While just responding to a few posts it has just dawned on me how much my husband misses out on. Last year he wasn't home for my 21st b'day (and a lousy day THAT was), this year he is gone for our FIRST wedding anniversary, and has been gone for 6 months already. He loves his footy and has pretty much missed out on the entire season. He was away for his birthday this year and looks like he may have to work New Years.

Oh, what I would give to have a man who is around for special occasions... :gloomy:

(Dont mind me just having a whinge here...)

[sharvs]

Hey Ally,

I know how you feel. This year, DF will be away for my birthday, our anniversary, our sons first birthday, his first x-mas (well 2nd, but DS was only 12 days old last year), new years, valentines day, his birthday & possibly easter. All the important events in our lives, not to mention DS starting to walk etc.

In some ways, for me its good because its a busy time & there is alot happening. I know I'm shocking at being sefish & thinking about me & DS but your thread made me stop & think about what it would be like to be DF. I cant imagine not being home & with family for all those events. I will record on video as much as I can but its not the same for him. We've decided not to really have a first birthday for DS. It seems a little sad but he wont know the difference. We will wait until April next year when DF is home & then spoil him rotten.

I dont want to even think about it yet, but its possible DF will be in Iraq by the end of next year which means he misses out on all of it again next year! What I would give for a 'normal' life!

[MilkOnTap]

Come on ladies - theres GOTTA be other hubbies who miss out on birthdays and anniversaries??? :confused:

[M O P]

Hey Pinky, this isn't really the same thing, but I'll join in anyway.

My husband doesn't miss things at home but we miss other friends and family's things. We try really hard to attend most things- majority of friends and family atleast 4 hours away- but if we're shearing, crutching, lamb marking or mustering for any of these events, count us out. We have contractors come to do most of these things so you do it when they say.

Angus only just made it to my bro & SIL's wedding, he got up at 4am to drove some sheep then jumped in the car and got there with half hour to shower and dress!

I guess I can say we're living a lifestyle we enjoy the rest of the time and that's the trade off.

[LittleBoysRock]

This also isnt the same thing but I kinda know how you feel.

My Dad is a miner and works away so he missed my high school graduation, my 18th, my 21st and my wedding. Plus the birth of my son (actually my whole pregnancy and he HASNT SEEN MY SON AT ALL!)

It sucks when those who you love miss out on things you would love to share! :hugs:

[DB&O]

Yep my DH misses important occasions due to work, it's hard for him to not be there for us but sometimes its hard for me not to take my anger out on him, then I feel wretched, I know he doesn't want to miss out & would be with us if he could but sometimes I need to vent & show how un-happy this makes me. I try holding in it now & venting to my sis after all DH can't do anything about it & I hate to make him feel worse :gloomy:
Does anyone else struggle like this :confused:

Ciao,
Brooke & Liv.

[MrsMiggins]

I know how you feel. Add to that the fact that my DH thinks of our anniversary (and some other occasions I think of as special) as "just another day" and it's all a bit much sometimes!

DH very nearly missed the birth of our first daughter! In fact would have, had the hospital had their way & booked me in for my c/s when they wanted to! I have told DH he will have to explain to her in years to come why it is that she has to wait that extra week for her birthday to come now! ;)

In coming months/years, DH will be away an increasing amount. I have voiced my objection to him not being here for the kids birthdays etc (some of the time it is at least partially up to him when/if he goes) but he just says that is part & parcel of him working the way he does. Of course, he does make an effort to be home for special occasions, especially where the kids are concerned, but he has in the past made plans to be away over the last week of Jan/first week of Feb which irritated me as both our wedding anniversary & my birthday fall within that time period!

Credit where credit's due though, he has arranged to go away in the first week of October this year - it could well have been the second week, but DD's first birthday is the 11th!

He was away this week from Sat afternoon to Tues night - just exactly the period when DD was having major, major sleep issues! Great!! So he misses out on the bad stuff too! As if it's not hard enough for us to cope while they're away! Sheesh!! :rolleyes:

[bearsmummy]

oh yeah hun i hear ya totally!
With DF working away on the mines and in the army reserves, i find on average he misses out on at least 2 birthdays a year and this year its even worse he misses out on xmas! :gloomy:
I just try and keep busy, see my friends etc on those days to keep distracted... but xmas... thats gonna be so hard.
:hugs: to you all :D

[MrsPee]

Well Dh will miss out on our 6th Wedding Anniversary this year :no: and I know that I have lots of missed moments and memories to come as well. I guess it is a sad, hard fact that goes hand in hand with being a Military Spouse.

[lavenderpegasus]

This never used to bother me, but it has started to bug me as more and more special moments go bye. I wish I knew the rules of the Navy what he can come home for and what he can't. I'm not even sure why it bithers me, it bugs me when he misses out on this that I need support with, m/c for example and it bug me when he misses out on things like special family occasions like weddings? What to do, what to do (imagine navy uniform....ahhh feel carm)