What can i do.....if anything?

[Orris Apjoko]

One of my closest friends gave birth to her baby boy on 27/12/10 at 17 weeks. She is so depressed and i am not near her, she is in Emerald QLD and i am in Shepparton VIC. Everytime we talk, i acknowledge him, he is her baby and she was soo in love and happy to be pregnant.

I know i cannot bring him back and i cant cook her food so she doesnt have to but is there anything i can do from a distance?

I'm thinking of sending her an engraved naming bracelet for her to put in her keepsake box she has for him.

She has the blanket he was wrapped in, and a teddy that is the same size and weight as him and a midwife did hand and food prints for her.

Is there anything that i can do?

How would you feel if a really close friend got you an engraved naming bracelet?

[Jemleevan]

You're such a sweet friend!

I think a naming bracelet is a lovely idea.

One of my friends got me a gift from forgetmenot.com.au. It's a small crystal angel and a packet of flower seeds. It came with a beautiul personalised verse. I've put the crystal in my memory box and have planted the seeds in a small ceremic vase that I can always take with me as we move house.

The main thing that your friend will need is an open ear. I too live away from all my friends and family (we moved only two weeks before we lost our son) and my bestie is always letting me talk about myself and how I feel! It's good that you're not avoiding the subject, I found that the hardest with people. I wanted (and needed) to talk about it, not to act like it never happened.

Keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure you're friend will simply appreciate the fact that you are emotionally there for her.

[sunflowermummy]

Im so sorry to hear of your friends loss...

When my friend lost her twin boys at 19 weeks, I got her 2 little heart charms with their intials on them and a necklace..She loved the idea and was so grateful that I had not forgotten them.

I have also found with friends who have lost little ones, that remembering them each year on the date they passed, helps my friends know that I am thinking of them and how precious their little one was to them and others....

[Orris Apjoko]

You're such a sweet friend!

I think a naming bracelet is a lovely idea.

One of my friends got me a gift from forgetmenot.com.au. It's a small crystal angel and a packet of flower seeds. It came with a beautiul personalised verse. I've put the crystal in my memory box and have planted the seeds in a small ceremic vase that I can always take with me as we move house.

The main thing that your friend will need is an open ear. I too live away from all my friends and family (we moved only two weeks before we lost our son) and my bestie is always letting me talk about myself and how I feel! It's good that you're not avoiding the subject, I found that the hardest with people. I wanted (and needed) to talk about it, not to act like it never happened.

Keep doing what you're doing and I'm sure you're friend will simply appreciate the fact that you are emotionally there for her.

I have talked to her sister and her BIL and they both are telling me that she isnt talking to anyone, she doesnt want to be touched, when they visit or try to talk to her she locks herself in the bathroom. But every time i am on facebook she will chat to me and tell me how she is feeling, how much she misses him and tthat her fiance is pressuring her to be happy and over loosing James (thats what she named the baby), and he is straining their relationship.

What i feel is soo strange is i miscarried at 6w and my EDD was 6/6/10 and she just lost james and her EDD was 6/6/11 and we both knew someone due on the same date.


Im so sorry to hear of your friends loss...

When my friend lost her twin boys at 19 weeks, I got her 2 little heart charms with their intials on them and a necklace..She loved the idea and was so grateful that I had not forgotten them.

I have also found with friends who have lost little ones, that remembering them each year on the date they passed, helps my friends know that I am thinking of them and how precious their little one was to them and others....

I think it being around christmas made it worse because she was so happy and was spending time with family and then bam she gave birth and she still had to see family and act happy. And now because of the strain on their relationship because her DF is trying to make her 'get over' her loss before she is ready to make peace with loosing him they've called off their wedding in Nov.