View Full Version : Booby as Pacifier!!
stellarella
08-09-2006, 10:55
I was just thinking the other day, what do mums who FF use to comfort and settle an upset baby??
I always use booby to pacify my little one and it works everytime.
Grizzling at the shopping centre? BOOBY. Wont drift off to sleep? BOOBY. At friends place and bub screaming? BOOBY. Need to keep bub quiet at a christening, wedding etc? BOOBY. Bub just having a bad day? Spend the day in bed with BOOBY!!!
I cant imagine what I would do if I wasnt able to lift up my top and administer booby at the drop of a hat. I guess I would need to give him a dummy??? I wonder how many FF bubs need a dummy aswell and how many BF bubs dont need one?
Perhaps thats a good poll...
This is exactly what I do with my son, he doesn't have a dummy either, never occurred to me to get him one.
Just a question, is it ok to do this? Is it a bad habit to get in to, will I need to be lifting my top to soothe a 5 year old on their first day at school or something like that?:eek:
MrsMiggins
08-09-2006, 11:27
My DD is FF and refuses a dummy. BUT... she is a thumb sucker!! So she has her thumb, which she is quite content with.
But if she is grizzly, I can give her a toy, or a bikkie (now that she's older), or even just a cuddle. A song can distract her & calm her down, or sometimes she may just want to have a sleep.
I really only find she gets super grizzly though when she wants her bottle, so it's pretty simple really - I just give her her bottle! :yes:
Ana Gram
08-09-2006, 12:04
My DD is FF and refuses a dummy. BUT... she is a thumb sucker!! So she has her thumb, which she is quite content with.
Yep mine too. Never had to use a dummy. There are plenty of ways to comfort a baby other than the breast.
My baby is breastfed but we give him the dummy to go to sleep, otherwise he tries to suck on his fist. If I put him back on the boob he falls asleep but then wakes up again when we put him in the bassinette.
This can go on for hours, so we just put the dummy in his gob and he nods off and stays nodded off.
I also settle him by patting him on the bum and singing to him.
Mummamoo
08-09-2006, 13:03
hmmm, the reason I stopped BF DD#1 was for the EXACT reason ... I refused to be a walking pacifier !! More than half of her "feeds" were "dummy" sessions ... didn't want (or need) the feed, just want a comfort suck.
So, for and many other reasons, I switched her to bottle and dummy. Never looked. Back.
the_queen
08-09-2006, 13:08
I love DS comfort sucking. He does use his thumb, and (as an up-yours to those who told me co-sleeping would make him too dependant on me) he sucks his thumb to put himself to sleep sometimes. But I don't mind being a pacifier for him. It's an important part of breastfeeding. Breastfeeding isn't just about nutrition. This is the Celebrating Breastfeeding section - let's celebrate ALL facets of BFing!! :smiliedance: :smiliedance:
stellarella
08-09-2006, 13:17
I love BF him for comfort. Its lovely to know I can make him happy with just myself, he obviously needs to suck for comfort and I prefer to give him a soft breast than a piece of rubber.
Having said that, he is a real sucker. He often sucks his hand too. I think he woul really take to a dummy. But I would never ever give him one.
for about the 1st month, my DS1 used me as a pacifier/dummy - but he would spit out excess milk and get annoyed, as all he wanted was a suck, not a drink. (and my boobs never appeared to empty, so I couldnt give him an empty one). I felt glued to the sofa 24/7, as he was addicted to sucking boob. I eventually relented, and gave him a dummy for when he just wanted to suck..... then I was only stuck to the sofa about 20/7:laughing:
I love the romantic notion of using my boob as a dummy for my kids, and it's great for mummys who can do this, but it didnt work for me.....I have wished each time that I could subtract the dummy from the equation of each baby's life, but as I was a thumbsucker, I think I have passed on this suckie gene, and rather than try and stick their thumb in their mouth for them when they try to do it (which is a difficult task before about 4 months) I give in and use a dummy....
I'm not sure of a correlation: I had two BF babies, one had a dummy and one did not. We are the perfect balanced sample :D.
Cheers
Boob fixes everything!!!I cant imagine parenting without it!I dont know what I will do when he weans himself:confused:
:smiliedance: Yay for booby!!!!
It is the perfect cure-all!
This is exactly what I do with my son, he doesn't have a dummy either, never occurred to me to get him one.
Just a question, is it ok to do this? Is it a bad habit to get in to, will I need to be lifting my top to soothe a 5 year old on their first day at school or something like that?
Kazza, my DS is almost 2 now and still BF. He never needs the boob for these things anymore. He has found other ways to calm down, loves cuddles etc. He only feeds now once a day as an end of day treat. I think booby is so effective for a good reason- until a baby can find other things to comfort him or herself with booby is always there:hugs: .
I have moved this thread out of the Celebrate Breastfeeding section as Stellarella is asking what formula feeding mums use.
For me personally, I use both. I breastfeed and use a dummy. My DD eats to live but doesn't live to eat, not that you could tell by her weight, she's huge! She won't comfort suck ever.
misskittyfantastico
08-09-2006, 14:20
I BF for 10 months and also used a dummy....I love our dummy.
For me personally, I use both. I breastfeed and use a dummy. My DD eats to live but doesn't live to eat, not that you could tell by her weight, she's huge! She won't comfort suck ever.
your daughter and my son should talk :p If i try to get cobey to comfort suck i get fists, kicks, red face and a scream :(
alanasmum
08-09-2006, 15:01
My DD is formula fed. I never thought I'd use a dummy (and only introduced it about week 4) but she loves it. I pop it in after a feed when she starts getting wriggly and tired and she sends herself off to sleep. Five minutes later she spits it out, is calm and quiet and I can put her to bed. :thumbsup:
Seekrit, oh how I wish she would comfort suck. It was so easy with O, hungry or not you could just breastfeed him for a minute and he was out like a light.:D
Mum&bubs
08-09-2006, 15:09
Booby fixes everything in this house too :D Summer never had a dummy..it was always booby for her. Booby booby booby...non stop :eek:
Our boys were bottle fed and they either had cuddles or a dummy for comfort, DS1 also has his pillow that he took everywhere if he needed it.
RedPanda
08-09-2006, 15:22
My DS is FF, and is not a dummy kind of guy! We own dummies, but he just won't take them. I've tried different brands, but he is not interested. I guess I'm lucky because he's rarely unsettled for no reason (hang on while I go and touch wood!). If he's hungry, I feed him. If he's tired, he goes to sleep. If he does grizzle for constipation or something I can't fix immediately, cuddles work wonders. He also loves pats on the bottom.
Stellarella hello miss!!
boobies rock....dummy have a place too:p
I have asked the same Question myself of FF mums.
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
We never wanted a dummy, though by wk5, with hours of not very good sleep for me and DP with a very hard comfort suck on him, I was told that I was not going to be a bad mum if I got the "right" dummy for BF bub (cherry -size to suit ur own nipple size) from Lactation Consultant:smiliedance:, so we can get him settled, he was on suck training from birth as wanting to suck in hard palette only, so we replaced our finger with the amazing creation the dummy (I'm over the whole bugger I didnt want to use that thing now...as he will suck his hands (though he pokes out his eyes mainly).
As I'm working towards being an LC and doula I knew how bad it would be for a BF bub to have the dummy (nipple confusion) though I also know that with everything in parenting it is how you use it that counts!!
He has both boobies each feed and comfort suckles and then after burps, he sometimes wants to keep sucking if I left him at the breast, I would never ever get anything done or have any boob left and he would just over feed too (and get grumpy) he just shoots it across the room when done!! The dummy that is.
Sorry for the :ecomcity:
RedPanda
08-09-2006, 15:53
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
We bath together every second night and given that he naps with me every day, we get quite a bit of skin-to-skin time then. Babies do enjoy skin, but they also enjoy (clothed) cuddles and stimulation. We have reading time after every feed and lots of kisses all the time:D .
It's ok! I'm not offended by the question. After all, fathers can't BF and despite that, many still forge a strong bond with their child. My DH is always cuddling DS skin-to-skin!
misskittyfantastico
08-09-2006, 15:54
Surely you could FF in all the places that you mentioned...in the nude if you so desired!
RedPanda
08-09-2006, 15:57
Surely you could FF in all the places that you mentioned...in the nude if you so desired!
:laughing:
So true misskittyfantastico!!! I reckon I'd get some strange looks though!
boobie on tap. not sure how we would function without it. have tried to give ds a dummy. begged and pleaded and shoved it in his mouth and help it there to give my overworked boobie a break. but no. he knows what he wants and won't take substitutes!
stilldreaming
08-09-2006, 16:50
I'm not sure of a correlation: I had two BF babies, one had a dummy and one did not. We are the perfect balanced sample :D.
Cheers
Same here! DS had a dummy from day 2 and DD is 4 months old and has no need for one.
lovemybub
08-09-2006, 17:02
I have to agree, I've often thought that I'm so glad I'm breastfeeding because you just whip it out whenever you need it - no fussing with bottles and formula and washing up. Especially at night. I don't even have to get out of bed because we co-sleep. I just lift the top and go back to sleep!!:sleeping:
But DD does like her dummy. Back in the beginning I would get really sensitive nipples because she would be feeding for an hour or more - plus I eventually had to get things done around the house...
Sometimes she falls asleep with booby, sometimes with dummy, but it almost always comes out once she's asleep and her mouth relaxes. Aw... she's so cute!
♥Heaven Sent♥
08-09-2006, 17:06
If i let my kiddies use my boobies for comfort i would be stuck in one spot all day.I think i passed on the sucking gene too as i had a dummie until i was four.Dd is 16months and stil has 1.Ds has boobie both sides and usually falls asleep at the boob then i take him off and he wakes up i stck him back on and repeats so i just gave him a dummy works wonders.
Ana Gram
08-09-2006, 17:53
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
None, DD hated it and so did I.
reAllytee
08-09-2006, 18:18
I calm Boof by cuddles which is all he usually wants lots of cuddles.
He only uses a dummy at nite to sleep & that comes & comes depending on his mood.
He just like his cuddles that solves all the worlds problems for him !
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
As much as Boof wants.
He was born in March but it was still really hot at that time so i was often just in my bra & undies & he was in his nappy so we often cuddled like this.
We cuddled in bed etc couldnt bath because we only have a half bath so no room for me !
I dont find the question offensive i just dont know why you wouldnt think bottlefed babies couldnt have skin on skin time :confused:
:yes: Boob does fix everything I reckon - EJ wont take a dummy also.
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
You can ff bubs in just as many was as you can a breasfed bub, I also bath with my boys even now the oldest is three. It really doesn't matter how you feed so long as you do it holding your bub close.
My SIL is a bottle feeder and props the bottle up so that she doesn't have to hold it, even though her bubs is only 3 months old.
Having said that I've bottle fed both my boys and have never done that, even when they started wanting to hold the bottle on their own I would still be holding them.
But I've also know a breastfeeder who uses that time to catch up on her book, rather than quality time with bubs.
So it's not whether you BF or FF it's how you use that time when you do, whether it's time for you and bubs or... not.
boob on tap here too.
none of mine ever took to dummies despite my trying every sort.
although this bub is very distractible so the boob gets rejected in favour of other more interesting things a lot now...which is a pity.:rolleyes:
I've also know a breastfeeder who uses that time to catch up on her book, rather than quality time with bubs.
i think that even when i am doing something else while feeding there is still alot of interaction going on, my baby often plays with my body , clothes, jewellry or hair. even if i am on here, reading or even doing the grocery shopping i am still stopping to tell her that's my nose she's tweaking or adjusting her positioning.
i also think exposing kids to reading is great. what a great way to learn about the enjoyment of books, at your mothers breast.
i am sure that bottlefeeding is also a great bonding experience and obviously it would need you to be focussed even more on your bubs coz i imagine it takes more hands than breastfeeding does, in fact this is no comment of ff feeding at all, just sharing my experience of breastfeeding.
i find that even if i'm not 'in the moment' with breastfeeding, it's pretty hard not to be still interacting as bubs is stuck on my boob after all:laughing:
the_queen
09-09-2006, 09:59
Very true meme; pretty much every time I'm on bubhub it's because DS is feeding, or he's fallen asleep at the boob, or he's just had a feed and is propped over my shoulder falling asleep.
When he feeds, the first minute is bright-eyed and interactive with me - but then he gets that wonderful drunk look, and his eyes are closed, and his top hand is just stroking on my skin.. I could sit here and look at him all day, but I'm a mother, I have to multi-task :D
I stop breastfeeding after 3 and half months - she wasn't getting enough milk. Then I used a dummy - and then I lost it one day out and about.
I thought sh it now she will scream and it was a blessing in disguise as she now no longer wants a dummy - last two months she prefers her hand in her mouth and she falls to sleep. When she cracks it in the shopping centre I give her a cuddle then place her back in hre pram and give her a toy - she seems to be happy just to have that little hug
I comfort DD with cuddles, singing, rocking. Sometimes we'll have a half-hearted go with the dummy but she's not really into it in a big way. I actually find bottlefeeding a much greater bonding experience than breastfeeding, due to the problems we had with our breastfeeding relationship. With the bottle we gaze into each others eyes and she'll stop every now and then to give me a huge smile or a gurgle, as opposed to BFing which was struggle, screaming etc. you've heard it all before!
I still breastfeed my 1yo DD but have also used the dummy (for sleeping mainly) but I find that I use bf for nourishment and for comfort. Currently there is no sign of my DD wanting to give up the booby!! I'm planning to self wearn her, so that way she won't miss the comfort side of booby either. I will certainly miss the mummy-DD time that bf brings, once she's weaned!!
blessedmummy
09-09-2006, 10:41
i agree with mummamoo.. used to be the same thing with my youngest daughter.. even after i fed her she used to want more booby just to suck on.. so i ended up getting a dummy... didnt want to be a walking pacifier... ( ended up stopping bf when she was 2months old..long story..)
RedPanda
10-09-2006, 12:58
I dont find the question offensive i just dont know why you wouldnt think bottlefed babies couldnt have skin on skin time :confused:
Yes, I am curious about that too! I don't think the question is offensive to FF mothers, but it may be offensive to fathers. I think men sometimes feel a bit "out of it" in terms of bonding in the early days, and we need to encourage the idea that men can have skin-to-skin with babies too!:yes:
pookiesossige
10-09-2006, 20:49
I just love how with DD, breastfeeding is going so well that I can just leave her latched on there for as long as she wishes... I love being her dummy! Although she occassionally will take one while down the street/in the car/while I get ready to sit down with her and feed. With DS my nipples were so torn and damaged after feeding normally that long feeds were'nt possible and I eventually (and heart-breakingly) weaned.
But (and finally, here comes the point of my post!) when I was bottlefeeding DS I still had a real feeling of closeness with him, and so did DH. Our evening cuddles with a bottle lasted up to an hour each time (right up to when he was nearly 2) and have left me, DH, and no doubt DS, with some beautiful memories. That evening bottle time was fully devoted to him. I know that he felt nothing but utter bliss each night as he drifted off to sleep in my arms, and therefore I couldn't have done anything better for him, even if it was cow's breastmilk that he was having, not mine.
And no, his teeth aren't rotted, he didn't demand another bottle at night and he isn't obese and 'over-dependant' (:rolleyes: ) on me! :p
MrsMiggins
10-09-2006, 21:07
(*prev quote re: skin-to-skin contact & FF*)
As much as Boof wants.
He was born in March but it was still really hot at that time so i was often just in my bra & undies & he was in his nappy so we often cuddled like this.
We cuddled in bed etc couldnt bath because we only have a half bath so no room for me !
I dont find the question offensive i just dont know why you wouldnt think bottlefed babies couldnt have skin on skin time :confused:
Same here! Claire was born into the hottest October I can ever remember and the summer following it was even hotter!
Despite all the lovely 0000 & 000 clothes we received as gifts, she spent 99% of the summer in a nappy with a wet washcloth on her head! Being home the majority of the time, I didn't tend to be decked out too much in the way of clothing either, so skin-to-skin contact was pretty much how it was going to be regardless!
Throughout this past winter, Claire has delighted in pulling the wool on all my fuzzy jumpers, so I think she was pretty happy there too! :D
Stellarella hello miss!!
boobies rock....dummy have a place too:p
I have asked the same Question myself of FF mums.
Q. How much skin to skin do FF bubs get then, (not trying to be offensive to FF mums at all, here just a Question to El? cause we feed in the bath, bed, couch back yard where ever and it's naked (we try to keep clothes on out and about though.... he he )
We never wanted a dummy, though by wk5, with hours of not very good sleep for me and DP with a very hard comfort suck on him, I was told that I was not going to be a bad mum if I got the "right" dummy for BF bub (cherry -size to suit ur own nipple size) from Lactation Consultant:smiliedance:, so we can get him settled, he was on suck training from birth as wanting to suck in hard palette only, so we replaced our finger with the amazing creation the dummy (I'm over the whole bugger I didnt want to use that thing now...as he will suck his hands (though he pokes out his eyes mainly).
As I'm working towards being an LC and doula I knew how bad it would be for a BF bub to have the dummy (nipple confusion) though I also know that with everything in parenting it is how you use it that counts!!
He has both boobies each feed and comfort suckles and then after burps, he sometimes wants to keep sucking if I left him at the breast, I would never ever get anything done or have any boob left and he would just over feed too (and get grumpy) he just shoots it across the room when done!! The dummy that is.
Sorry for the :ecomcity:
Thank you for answering my question everyone.
I wasn't sure how many FF mothers or fathers did "feed" skin to skin. (I dont know any that do, so just interested in the response)
Skin to skin cuddles from Mum, Dad, brothers and sisters is such a beautiful part of life. I hope that it happens more and more here in OZ, so common in other parts of the world.
I agree that Dads have to be encouraged more, to cuddle skin to skin.
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