Would you report this?

[Bubmum]

My actual question is would you personally report...if the information you recieved was second hand, but had seen the injuries first hand.

My friend lives with a woman who I see as taking things too far with her children. My major concern is her 7 month old son. I have heard (from 2 people who have seen it first-hand) that she smacks her son when he won't drink his bottle. I went to their house yesterday, they live under the house and he was downstairs on his own crying with his brother who is 9, sitting on a rocker on his own. In the past she has gone to the corner shop and left him on his own in his cot to cry. Yesterday my friend was telling me to look at his face when I saw him, that he had a scratch across his face where she slapped him, and her fingernails tore his skin. Now this happened a week ago, and you can still see part of the scratch on his nose and his eyebrow. She slapped him in front of my friend and her husband. Her husband told her that if she hurt him again, he would call the police. He lives in another town for work, during the week, so if this happened again, he wouldn't be there to see it.

My friend is lovely and understands that all parents get stressed, and I think she also does not want to deal with the situation because they live together and this woman can be very nasty.

I think she needs help and support, and to know that hitting your baby across the face hard enough to leave marks that are there a week later is so not on.

[Jakois]

Yes I would report it.

It would be more beneficial if your friend who actually saw the mother strike her child made the call. When calling Cp (DoCS) they go through a series of questions, that would be easier to answer if you actually saw the incident.

[elleandsam]

Yes, please report it. That's abuse.

[samsausage]

Yes I would. Please urge your friend to make the report, this mum needs help.

[Rachael]

Little confused.

Friend of yours lives with a woman. The woman is the one with the children and the husband who works away. The woman slaps and mistreats her children.

Did I get that right?

If so then yes I would definitely report it to the police and docs especially about leaving the children whilst she goes to the shops. Thue husband should also be told how bad it gets while he is away.

[Bubmum]

Rachael..My friend is the one who is married. The woman who lives with them is the one abusing her children.

Jakois..I know, I just wish that "they" would do something, but I completely understand all of the trouble it will cause, and perhaps they think they can keep an eye on it, and stop it from escalating, or happening again. I don't know. Or perhaps they don't really understand what constitutes abuse, and just see her as an angry person.

[Rachael]

Thanks for the clarification :)

Definitely report the woman.

[Jakois]

Jakois..I know, I just wish that "they" would do something, but I completely understand all of the trouble it will cause, and perhaps they think they can keep an eye on it, and stop it from escalating, or happening again. I don't know. Or perhaps they don't really understand what constitutes abuse, and just see her as an angry person.

Some people just dont "Get It". Your friend may have the best intentions, but she cannot watch over this baby 24/7.

If I were in your position I would make the call with the information you have. You have seen the actual mark, so that will go towards some form of investigation I would imagine.

[JabberJaw]

Yes, i would. Hurting babies, no matter what the circumstance, is wrong. A mother having a bad day is not an excuse. **** i have bad days frequently and dont hurt my kids.

[MyCheekyMonkey]

Yes I would DEFINITELY report it. Is there a way you could try and convince your friend that that's the best thing to do?

As mentioned, seeing as though she has witnessed first hand would be more beneficial when DoCS ask any questions if it is reported.

[Izy]

report report report report

DOCs won't remove the child if they can help it (not enough families to place them with anyway), so know that they will endeavour to teach the mother.

[My Beloved Ones]

That just broke my heart :no::crying: Please report her. Things will only get worse for her son. He cant stand up for himself but you can do it for him.

[princessmummy]

That is so sad that poor little baby you should report her i would

[TurnedBatty]

Yup, please report. :( Hopefully the whole family gets the help they need, this mother learns what is right and wrong, and these kids grow up knowing they werent just ignored.

[korfire]

Report it. I feel sick from reading that.

A baby being smacked is child abuse. A baby being smacked for not drinking their bottle is pretty evil.

Poor baby.

[Gandalf]

I think if you're aware of how bad things are you should report it, but continue to urge your friend to report it as well (or to at least be truthful if docs ask her questions).

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[davally]

I agree with the others, report it and urge your friend to do the same. Smacking a baby is bad but so is leaving him home alone, anything could happen.

My heart aches for that poor little boy. I have bad days with my DS but have strategies to deal with them, it appears that this mother doesn't and obviously needs help and support. I just hope she gets it, for her sake ad well as her son.

[patsmum]

I would report the marks you have first hand seen on the child's face. You can mention the things your friends have seen.

This way it is one more small yet important part of evidence for that case.

[codswallop]

yes!!!!
report it, if there is nothing to worry about then there is nothing to worry about but i could never live with the regret if i suspected something only to have my worst fears confirmed latter on

[bgbgbb]

I'd report it and not just for this lady's poor children. What's not to say that she wont hit your friend's children if they are ever left in her care? We dont let my mother look after our children anymore as she once smacked them.

[PsychedAboutMike]

Hi I only just noticed this thread and I am just wondering if u ended up reporting the abuse?

The thing that your friend may want to consider is that because she lives with this lady, witnessess child abuse and has not reported it, is that not illegal in itself? Its a crime and your friend knows about it, lives with it and is not doing anything to stop it, im pretty sure thats breaking the law.So your friend should report this as well as you, as if she doesnt then she may find herself in alot of trouble.

And if you havent already then you should definatley report it yourself, they will send someone to help the mother and children, too many people stay silent when it comes to child abuse and it will effect the children for the rest of their lives. And could even effect their children, and their children's children too. You can even make a anonomous report if you want.

Be the one who stands up for these kids and attempts to change their lives for the better!

Remember - It takes a community to raise a child

[zombiekitty]

Report!!!!!!!!!

[waterlily]

What ended up happening about the abuse?

[Bell & Bug]

Absolutely report.

Sent from my HTC Desire using Bubhub

[peanuthead]

this is something u definately should report. i work with children with disabilities & im disgusted at the abuse & neglect they are subject to. it often takes multiple reports before anything is even noticed. so in saying this i'd strongly encourage ur friend to do the same, two reports are better than one & her information will be first hand.

[Grinnyswife]

yep :(

[42Tracy]

Please report this.

Reading that made me feel sick, I couldn't imagine smacking my baby over the face because he didn't drink his bottle. This mother needs help but her baby needs it more.

Do the right thing.

[Bubmum]

Hi ladies..I saw this has been revived..I know it is very sad. I made a call..not much will be done, but it is on record. Sigh.

[Pinkzy]

That poor little darling baby :( Good on you for reporting it.

[Veritas]

Without doubt I would report....

But I have to ask, has anyone in her immediate sphere, particularly seeing as she is living with others, had a discussion with her about what's appropriate in caring for a young child, and why it is she feels that is her best course of action as a parent???

[RiffRaffMama]

I see now that it did get reported and kudos for that but I can understand being hesitant to because it would immediately draw the mother-in-question's attention to the fact that someone close to her reported her. Especially given after just one report all docs do is ring the parent and ask politely if they'd like some help of some sort.
It's a difficult situation but if you truly believe something is not right, the best you can do is report it. Like I said, if it's just a misunderstanding then nothing will happen to parent or child so go with your gut in these situations.