View Full Version : Am I over reacting????
Crazyfamily
07-09-2006, 15:32
Recently two of my children were in hospital and were very sick. One in particular gave us a big fright as he became worse and we thought we may lose him.
Anyway, when my brother in law was told that my dh had a week off work with no pay so one of us could be at home (we have 6 kids) and one at the hospital he said it was stupid and dh shouldn't take time off for something like that. He believes that we should go and visit ds in hospital and then come home. Not only was our son very sick so of course we wanted to be there but he is also only 3 and was put through a lot to help him recover. I can't understand how any parent could critisize us for being there. My bil does not understand why I am angry that he would be putting us down for this. Not only that but he also said no matter how sick our ds is he wont go to hospital to visit in case he gets sick and can't go to work. I am so angry and I don't know if i am over reacting.
Sorry if this makes no sense..
I think you have every right to be mad. If my BIL had this opinon then I probably wouldn't want him anywhere near one of my kids at all.
I think it must have been an absolutely traumatic time for all of you and for someone to be so unsupportive is just disgusting.
In the same position my husband would have done the same thing. Its what you do when your a parent.
I'm so sorry you went through this, I hope your little one is doing better now.
Best Wishes
Sarie
geez - does he have kids? If he does, I am shocked that HE would consider leaving HIS three year old son in a strange place with strange people while he was sick. I feel sick to think that some people would do that. Over-reacting? You most certainly aren't!
Crazyfamily
07-09-2006, 15:48
thanks for quick reply. This guy does have kids and I believe he would leave his child in there on its own. I am glad you don't think I am over reacting. I was starting to wonder if it was just me.
I have actually told him I don't want anything to do with him.
Thankyou for your support.
What a sad man to feel that way. Don't ever feel that you are wrong for being upset for something like that. I probably would have gone troppo at him!
I hope your DS is fine now. You certainly aren't overreacting.
Your BIL is a huge tosser and certainly won't win father of the year!! You are obviously a loving mum and your husband a loving dad. That trait obviously escaped your BIL.
:hugs:
Your BIL really has no idea, does he????
Why would someone leave their sick child in a strange place alone. Whether that child is 3 or 13 it doesn't matter, they need to have a parent with them.
I don't think you are overreacting at all. I hope your DS is much better :hugs:
you are not overreacting, but try not to let it get to you anymore, its none of his business what you and your DH do when it comes to taking care of his children, any normal person would not leave a sick 3 yr old alone in hospital for any length of time unless it was totally unavoidable, I know myself and my DH would have done the exact same thing. :hugs:
melfunction
07-09-2006, 16:19
You BIL is a heartless b@stard.
Fancy thinking a 3yr old wouldn't need his mum and dad with him through such a traumatic ordeal - *********.
shelby67
11-09-2006, 08:18
Hi caroline,
You are not over reacting!! What a d*ck head your BIL is!!!
Don't worry about your BIL, he doesn't have any idea about the love we feel for our kids.
I hope every thing is ok now.
Take care,
Shelby.
My 3 yr old was in hospital at the start of the year and DH took time off work so that someone could be there 24/7. Being our child not only did we want to be there at all times for him. But he is OUR responsibility being a small dependant. Nurses arent qualified childcare workers, what a joke. Honestly, thier your kids you can decide for yourself whats best, second hand input on how you should be dealing with your kids is rude and degrading :shame:
~rambox~
11-09-2006, 08:52
You BIL is a heartless b@stard.
Fancy thinking a 3yr old wouldn't need his mum and dad with him through such a traumatic ordeal - *********.
I totally agree. He is an idiot and if he does have children of his own he shouldn't have cause obviously he doesn't have a heart.
:kiss: hope you and your wonderful family are good now
Cheekychops
11-09-2006, 08:59
NO!!! Having had my kids in hospital numerous times - the most recent being my DS1 (5yrs) with pneumonia - we have always had someone there 24/7 and when DH and I both got really sick my mum stayed with him one night.....that's what we do! Having been in hospital myself for different reasons over the years, I would have loved if someone could stay with me 24/7!!! Our children can't understand at that young age being left alone somewhere they haven't been before, and does your BIL not realise that nurses are run off their feet and can't be there with the child much at all???
I feel sorry for his child/ren if they ever need hospitalisation, but not much you/we can do about it..... good on you for making the sacrifice to comfort your little one!!! I have unfortunately seen numerous children alone in hospital and it breaks my heart!!!
I'm glad your little ones are feeling better!!
angelickaren
11-09-2006, 12:29
i know how you feel but it was not my bil it my exdp flynn has been my sick child and has been in hospitial at many times with pneumonia and chicken pox and other things but my ex dp would not stay i did it was hard to leave him the nurse arent in there room all the time. one time with his pneumonia my ex dp dropped me at the emergency door and said ring me when you need to be picked up :eek:
thats one of the reasons we are no longer together
one time when i was in tamworth base hospitial with flynn a 9mth was in there all by himself i was in for 7 days with flynn noone came to see him the nurses hads to feed him and do everything for him his mum came on day 5 she was young(im not saying all young mums are bad) i was a young mum myself but shame on her and she had a 2yr old too which also got sick and she told the nurses that he was up in the emergency dept and he was getting amitted and then she and her boyfriend left both of them their OMG i could not believe it and on day 7 she came back which was a monday she was so drunk or on drugs the nurses got her removed as she was yelling at her kids to stop crying and the head nurse was one of my workmates mum and she said one of her kids is always here and she dumps them and leaves i just felt so sorry for those kids
Buddha Bubbas
12-09-2006, 10:02
i would be upset with BIL as well. what a jerk! i would never leave my children alone in hospital for any reason:no: when my daughter was 6 weeks old she had bronchilitis(sp) she had to stay in hospital for a week and there was a baby a little bit older in the bed next to us and the parents left her there :eek: so i got the tv connected for her and sat between the two beds pretty much the whole time... i felt so sorry for her. how could her own parents just leave her there??? mind you one nurse was a biatch...big time.. i woke to find the nurse had checked my daughter... left her jumpsuit undone and didnt tuck her in properly and the sheets were over her head... like im going to leave her in your care.:banghead:
i was so mad. when they were putting tubes in her nose i was really upset and the same nurse said to me "why are you crying". no heart!!!! your BIL needs a reality check and as far as im concerned any parent who would leave their child is not a fit parent...
Crazyfamily
12-09-2006, 10:33
An update...
All children are well again and bil said "sorry, I didn't realise how sick the kids were" . He thinks that it is about how sick they were, when to me even if my child was in hospital for something "minor" we would do the same again.
He has two boys aged about 8 and 12 and says how great his boys are ( i agree they are great) but everyone can see that they behave so perfectly out of fear not respect.
I have decided to cut ties with this man at least for a while as I feel it is better than me feeling the way I do and being angry every time I see him.
I wouldn't change anything I did. My children know we were there and we love them.
Thanks for everyones support. At least I know its not just me being a total cow about the whole thin.
TigerBlueBear
12-09-2006, 21:59
I'm with the others. I think your BIL has his priorities all screwy. Family should always come first - heavens I stayed in hospital overnight when my son had his tonsils out - and that is hardly life threatening!! And my dh took the two days off work to care for our other two as well.
It sounds like your BIL is one of those self centred people who has great difficulty in understanding the feelings of others. He probably won't change so I just wouldn't bother to discuss it with him. If he raises it tell him its none of his business how you guys protect and care for your family.
whatwasithinking
12-09-2006, 22:07
OMG - no way are you overreacting. What a halfwit!
Hope your son is better now.
Your hubby did the right thing by being there for his family - I would be very cranky if he DID go to work and not helped in a family situation like this.
:hugs: :smiliedance:
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