Should i be upset, SIL being induced 2morrow ?

[Bunny_79]

Hey everyone,

I am just upset at the moment and i know how good all of you r at listening, here i go. I need to get it off my chest.
Well i have had two m/c and my SIL is being induced 2morrow, i know i am going to cry when i go to see them i suppose it's just natural to be upset. Dont get me wrong i am so happy for them and i am going to be an auntie for the first time :smiliedance: .
I dont want to cry it's their time to be happy and i dont want to spoil that. I dont want anyone to feel sorry for me either. I am just finding it hard some days i am ok then other days i will cry over just seeing her or hearing about someone being preg. I know i am not the only one feeling like this, there are plenty of women in my situation.
I am supposed to be going away tomorrow as well, camping not good weather for it anyway, do i still go away and miss seeing my new Nephew when he is born or just see them when i get back in two days??
:fingerscrossed: one day it will be my turn.
Well i feel better now, i love this site.
Sorry about the :ecomcity:
Good luck everyone on the TTC Journey :fingerscrossed: for more BFP

[Eternity]

I just wanted to send you :hugs: Its definately perfectly normal for you to feel the way you do. I hope you enjoy your trip you deserve it. And your right your turn will come:D Take Care sweety

[nicoleE]

First of all :hugs:

Although I have not had any M/C (fingers crossed I never do) I can understand to some extent what you are feeling. You want to be happy for them, and you are but at the same time you cant help but ask yourself 'why me'...

Your right, it is natural and all us TTC'ers feel it to different extents, I swear pregnant women and those with babies gravitate towards me to rub it all in my face! I am happy for them though, just hope they realise how fortunate they are.

If you can still go away and not think about their new baby for the whole time then go and enjoy yourself, clear your mind of all things baby related and TTCing....
If you cant then you probably may as well stay behind and go and see them.

If they are aware of your M/Cs then Im sure they will understand how you feel, they may well be feeling slight pangs of guilt. I know a lady at work here who got pregnant really quickly and knows we are TTC said to me she feels guilty for falling so easily... i said "dont feel guilty, just feel blessed"...

Our time will come... just hang in there. :hugs:

[rynosmum]

Your feelings are completely normal. Without knowing it, I cut off all of my friends who were pregnant or had little ones after I lost my own. I couldn't even appear to be happy for them when I was still so devastated about my own loss.

It will change but sometimes it is hard to see the forest for the trees. Best of luck with whatever you decide to do - these feelings won't last forever:hugs:

[marcelsmum]

- I know what your feeling, My sister had her daughter by CS, a month ago. On the day when my DP called to say he had received a text message saying that bub had been born - I had to leave work I was so upset.
-Of course I love my sister and was happy for her but it was only 6 weeks after my m/c- and to make matters worse AF decided to make an appearance on that same day.

After having a big cry on my DP's shoulder I forced myself to go to the hospi to visit them both. Once I held that baby It was all OK and the resentment towards my sister and her bub seemed to disappear. (of course I still have the longing for another bub).

- It's up to you if you go on your camping trip, but I know that the evil nasty feeling didn't leave from my stomach until after I held the baby.

[Kayte]

I just want give you huge huge :hugs: !!!!

[wantagirl]

This is so normal to feel this way. I have never miscarried but my best friend did and it was hard for her to come around me with my 2 kids. I think they would understand if you waited to see your nephew. I never held it against my friend. We did finally sit down and talk about it some which helped a bunch. I hope your time comes very soon!! I will keep you in my prayers!

[bronny-jane]

my sister found out she lost her baby the day i had my dd2, having had 2 mc myself i know how awful it is seeing someone close to you be pg or have a baby.

the way you handle it makes all the difference though. im sure its a hard time for you, but its a joyous occassion as well, its a time to celebrate a new life and a newlife that you are a huge part of.

i can guarentee you that once you see and hold the baby you wont feel any "bad" feelings.

i had a nasty comment thrown my way when dd 2 was born, and i thought it was very petty, she was only 30 mins old and i went nuts and was disgusted:mad:

i hope they both are ok today:fingerscrossed:

[Tarnya]

:hugs: to you. I know I felt the same way with my sil when she said she was expecting, but when I saw my nephew for the first time that all went away.

I don't want to upset you but my sil had a really bad labour, her DS was in intensive care due to swallowing meconium he was having seizures and needed to be pinned down to his bed, when I had my DD 8 months later my sil would cry every time I saw her or spoke to her because I was so lucky to have had such a good labour, and a perfect baby, I had PND and that did not help me @ all, I felt so guilty because my baby was healthy and I was lucky!

be careful how you react to your SIL as it could do more damage than good for you to react negatively, for her.

I remember saying to my DP I didn't want to see anyone with my 2nd purely because of that and we didn't, no-one knew he was born until he was over 3 weeks old, no-one should have to feel guilty because of anyone elses tragedy, loss or misfortune, sympathetic and supportive yes but guilty no!