Sista troubles

[MoushiMoushi]

I am really upset with my sisters so I thought I'd post it here and see what you guys think about it

Firstly sister no.1 has been really wierd ever since I told her I was pregnant (she thought I was too young -I was 26 at the time;and that DH wasnt good enough for me!) Now that DS is 14 months old she is still really frosty towards me, we used to be v.close but i feel like she has rejected me coz I'm not the career woman she is (shes 33, been married for 4 years but says shes not interested in having a family yet,which is fine for her but not for me!)

Secondly sister no.2 got pregnant when I was about 6months preg. she said she felt pressured to start a family becoz I had, since Im 4 years younger than her . It feels like she only got pregnant coz I was, like she was competing for attention or something :confused:

Any way her little boy is about 8 months old now and shes gone back to work full time, our mum takes care of her son two days a wk and her mil takes him the other days. Our $ situation is not v.good at the moment so I'm having to up my days at work from two to three and asked my mum if she could take care of my son the extra day as he attends day care the other two days a wk.
My mum said fine but she would have to stop caring for my sisters little boy that day as we live to far away from each other......sis no.2 had a fit and isnt speaking to me coz she thinks Im taking away her free baby sitter :mad: I feel really angry as she works five days a week and pays nothing in child care, shes had our mum taking care of her son now for 4 months and all I'm asking for is one day a week!

I feel bad enough having to ask my mum to take him one day a week, but at the moment its our only option as there are no extra days at his day care, we really cant afford a nanny and mostly I feel guilty sending him to care three days when he is still so young :(

Am I being selfish about the babysitting and how can I mend my relationship with Sis no.1??????

Any advice would be helpful,

[Miss_Vicki]

HUGS i dont think U have been selfish
Not sure how u Would Mend things , sounds like she is the one with a prob not u
Hugs in time mabie she will realize What she is acting like

[ThomasMum]

Hi Sara,

My advice probably isn't going to be a good one. As I have never been in your situation before. But you should hear what your mum think about this. After all she’s the one who will do the works! Why don’t you have a chat with your sista, and once again ask mum for advice, and try to find the best solutions from it.
You are so lucky to have your sis around! My one and only sis lives in the UK, I wish she was here even just to annoy me!

Good luck!

Love & Peace :),

Thomas’sMum

[Ryally]

i agree with Kevinbudgie. Stand up for your little boy and let him have his one day with nanna. Why should he miss out just because your competitive sister wants her cake and also to eat it too.

I think you're mum is sensational to agree to taking any kids at all especially five days a week. Far out! I have my daughter full time and she drives me insane four out of seven LOL! My mother lives in the USA and is so caught up with putting as much money away for retirement that she's not planning on coming back to OZ until five or ten years yet. You're very lucky in that sense.

My older sister is a ***** when it comes to this sort of stuff too. She announced her engagement two weeks out from my wedding, she also got pregnant asap after I fell pregnant, when I was six months pregnant she rang me out of the blue just to gloat that she was expecting her second child too. But it doesn't stop there, when I started uni, she said she was looking at doing uni, when I bought a house, suddenly she was house hunting lol. We buy a new Ford Escape, she buys one of those Nissan four door 4wd pickups. Now I just don't talk to her if I can manage it and when we do speak I tell her as little about my life as possible. I suspect if she knew about my high risk pregnancy, she would try to find something wrong with her pregnancy as well. You'd think it were in all in my head but it was the rest of the family that pointed out what was happening lol, I was too busy enjoying my life to care what she was doing and didn't even notice her copying me.

Anyway, I'm running off at the mouth here. Don't let your sisters bother you, it sucks when you have had a close relationship but at the end of the day, it's your lif and you don't need to worry about their issues. Speak to your mum and see what can be done.

Good Luck

[MoushiMoushi]

Thanks all, your posts have been great, especially Kevinbudgie you had me in stitches LOL :D Gravy train was a classic!!!!I think what you wrote about sis no.1 being a little jealous might be right on the money, I dont like to think like that usually but your probably right Her husbands an only child and hasnt had much time for our son or his other nephew, his always saying he likes things the way they are (him and my sis both working) I see my sis with my son and my nephew and I know she is totally in love with them, it must be hard for her :( Not sure how I can fix things, I cant change the fact I fell pregnant first, wouldnt want to even if I could. But I do wish things were the way they used to be, we used to talk all the time she was more than a big sister she was a really trusted friend.V.sad

[SixtiesChild]

Hi MoushiMoushi,

Here is a suggestion for you about handling the situation with your sister:

As hard as this sounds, choose a quiet time when you can talk to your sister face to face and uninterupted.
And ask her gently if there's something you have done to upset her. Be sincere as you ask. Tell her in the best way you know how that you value her as a sister even if it means telling her that you love her.
That way you're finding out directly from her, exactly what's up.
It will then be her choice to open up to you.
I know that this might sound uncomfortable but believe me it will stop the speculation if she tells you something you didn't know.
Goodluck

[MoushiMoushi]

Thanks Nadia I have thought of doing that so many times in the last two years. I think I'm just scared of her rejecting me again, she was such a big part of my life growing up that she's almost like a mother figure to me. Its hard to find time alone wih her as the only time we see each other these days is at big family gatherings(b'days, fathers day, chrissy etc)
Were having a suprise party for sis no.2's birthday next month I might work up the courage to talk to her then, maybe a few bourbons might do the trick :p On second thoughs the drinks arent such a good idea (HEHEHE)