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polony
06-09-2006, 15:59
I am wanting to break it off with my new partner. I am feeling so suffocated by him.

He has so far confronted the father of my child (who is a good friend of his) on more than one occassion to tell him to be part of my DD's life. I never asked him to do this and am a little angry at him for butting in. It is my thing, not his and I am ok with how the situation is for now, even if it is hard. But my new partner felt the need to say something to him, thinking it would make a difference, which it didn't and I knew it wouldn't. I feel like my new partner has overstepped a boundary there. Sure he had good intentions, but I think he should have asked how I felt first.

Secondly, he is over ALL the time and I hardly have enough "me" time without him having to be there too. I try to sit on the couch and he feels the need to be close to me all the time. I go on the computer and he constantly looks over my shoulder and questions what I am doing and why do I need to chat to strangers.

There are so many other things that drive me nuts too, but these are the most serious to me.

Ok, he did come from an untrustworthy relationship before me, but he needs to back off. I feel like I have to sneak around to do things and that he feels unvalidated if I am not with him. He wants to cuddle all the time and I am not really a touchy feely person. He sees this as a challenge and tries even harder to cuddle me more. It drives me insane. I feel so suffocated.

Am I being selfish for feeling this way? I think I just want to be single. I am so busy with uni and DD that I find it hard to deal with a partner too. I just feel so selfish about it all. What do you think??

~EmsMum~
06-09-2006, 16:15
I don't think you are being selfish, thats one reason I am staying away from a r/ship because I don't want to feel suffocated!!! i hate having to answer to people who want to know where/what time doing all the time.


:hugs:

Mamaduke
06-09-2006, 16:27
Am I being selfish for feeling this way? I think I just want to be single. I am so busy with uni and DD that I find it hard to deal with a partner too. I just feel so selfish about it all. What do you think??

Hmmm...that's a toughy!! :rolleyes:
If studying hard at Uni so you can achieve what you want for your life and give your daughter someone to look up to and admire...
If wanting to spend quality time with your child...
If wanting to spend quality time with yourself...
If wanting to focus all of your energy on your little girl, Uni and yourself... is selfish...then you are...what's wrong with that?
You've got one child already - another person who constantly needs validation of your love would just be adding more work for you.
Your priorities are perfect just the way they are - you're doing a great job!;)

DB&O
06-09-2006, 16:31
Hmmm...that's a toughy!! :rolleyes:
If studying hard at Uni so you can achieve what you want for your life and give your daughter someone to look up to and admire...
If wanting to spend quality time with your child...
If wanting to spend quality time with yourself...
If wanting to focus all of your energy on your little girl, Uni and yourself... is selfish...then you are...what's wrong with that?
You've got one child already - another person who constantly needs validation of your love would just be adding more work for you.
Your priorities are perfect just the way they are - you're doing a great job!;)

Well said MD :yes:

Ciao,
Brooke.

polony
06-09-2006, 16:36
Thanks Mamaduke, you always make me feel better. Now, can you come and break up with him for me?? Haha :laughing: :laughing:

I hate doing this. But I have to.

*Sparkles*
06-09-2006, 16:39
I think it boils down to whether you love this guy and if he gave you more space, would you want to still be with him? If the answer is yes, then put the ball in his court by asking him to back off a bit. If he won't, then decide about whether or not to break-up.
Good luck.

Mamaduke
06-09-2006, 16:40
Now, can you come and break up with him for me?? Haha :laughing: :laughing:


Ummmm...No! Nice try though!:laughing:

caz
06-09-2006, 21:46
I don't think you are being selfish at all. As Mamaduke said you are putting yourself and your daughter first and that's all that matters.

Sending lots of :hugs: to you, you deserve it. I know it's not easy breaking up with someone but it's a lot harder trying to do the right thing because you don't want to hurt their feelings.

You're a strong woman, believe in yourself :hugs:

oleander
07-09-2006, 00:42
Nope. Your not being selfish at all. If he's like this now can you imagine what he will be like in the future. Probably best to end it before he gets too attached. I personally couldnt put up with a suffocating relationship. It would really put me off and Id run as fast as I could. I also think that he has no business telling your ex anything.

You know and will make the best descision for you and your daughter. Good luck with it all!:hugs:

Blessed Mum
07-09-2006, 20:55
I think its great you know what you want & that you are secure enough within yourself to say it out loud :) Good on you

SamanthaJane
07-09-2006, 22:56
I don't think you are being selfish at all :)

We all do what we have to do to get by in life.... :D