Help what should I do?

[HoopDeeDoo]

My newest eddition was baptised a couple of weekends ago, and it was a really lovely day and everyone had a great time or at least so I thought

My DH got a lift with my FIL yesterday, and when we got home he told me that when my MIL went into mum's patchwork shop the other day one of the girls who works there (they all know who she is) asked her why she couldn't make it to Lachlan's (DS2) Baptism? Apparently my insane mother told people that My MIL couldn't go because she was looking after Noah (DS1). WT??!!! My MIL was really upset about this, but didn't mention it to me, probably because she knows how I feel about my mother and didn't want to make me feel bad.

A) my MIL and FIL and my two SILs and familys were all at the baptism even though none of them are Catholic they wanted to share his special day

B) MIL and FIL looked after Noah during the welcoming mass which happened to be an hour before the actual baptism, as a favour to me. I didn't think Noah who is a couple months shy of 2 would be able to be contained for 2 hours straight in a church

C) There are even photos of all of us standing outside the church together.

What should I do? I'm hoping that this has just been some kind of misunderstanding on the girl's part, but I'm not sure what to do. If I say something to my mum she is likely to fly off the handle, and possibly end up upsetting MIL more, but if I don't do anything then it's like I'm not standing up for my MIL, who is one of the sweetest people I know. Should I just chalk it up to my mother being jealous that I have a better relationship with MIL than her? Or should I be more concerned that there is something seriously wrong with her. This isn't the first time she's made things up to make herself look better.

My DH was so angry about this, and said a few choice words to FIL about the situation so it's just embarrassing all round.

[mummy short legs]

hi Mumofnoah,

I understand where you are coming from. I had probs on both sides. I learnt it is better to say something then to hide it or to smooth it over. you need to talk to your mother and let her know where she stands, but to do this you need to have both families there including hubby. this way nothing can be changed to suit anyone in particular. If it is a matter of jelously then you and hubby need to find out where you stand as a family unit of your own and then let other family members in. My hubby and I went through this 2 years ago and we no longer do everything with the In laws and we have little to no contact with my parents. But this doesn't mean you have to do the same, sometimes it is easier to forget but it always comes back to kick you in the but. I think it would be easier to talk to both sides at the same time so that they to can get their fustrations of their chest to. Maybe it is something so small and they just don't realise it is an issue. Best of luck


Tennille
Ian

Tatum Jade 4
Jai 17 months
Bub 3 due on 12/12/06

[HoopDeeDoo]

Thanks for the advice.

It's just my mother everyone seems to have a problem with. My Dad, and DH's parents are all normal happy nice people. And my mother isn't any of those things. And to try and talk to her is like shooting yourself in the foot.

I bought her the book "don't sweat the small stuff" once, thinking it might calm her down a bit. She threw it back at me and said "maybe you should read it yourself". I just said "I did and I thought it made some good points". She just glared at me and walked off.

[MumOfTwoBoys]

Since you have a great relationship with your MIL and I assume that she is an understanding person I would first go to her and tell her exactly how I feel. That would make you feel better, show her that you DO care and that you are on her side. After securing this side of the family, I'd go to your mother. I don't have any advice on what to tell her as she seems to be a difficult case but you know her better and I hope you will find the appropriate words. Good luck! :hugs:

O-ops, haven't seen your second post. Your mother sounds like a nasty person (sorry, but she does). How about ignoring her? May be it is your reaction (emotions, words) that she is waiting for. Well, as I said you know her better but may be avoiding her as much as possible will work...:confused:

[HoopDeeDoo]

Anna, I think you might be right. I will call MIL and talk to her about it. I just don't want to embarress her. She's a lot like me and doesn't like confrontation, so if I approach it in a light hearted way maybe she'll be ok about it?

As for my mother the more I can avoid her the better. As long as MIL knows how much I appreciate her then hopefully she won't care what my crazy mother says to anyone