Coping with a toddler and a premmie

[elleandsam]

I'm not a premmie mum, yet, but every bleed I get closer and closer to delivery as each bleed is taking longer to stop.

How much time would I be able to spend at the NICU and how much time would I be able to spend at home. My grandparents will be down to help with DD but DH will be at work and we only have 1 car.

I want to spend as much time as I can with both children but I asked NICU doctors last night and DD won't be allowed in the NICU because she's far too young and toddlers are basically germ factories, which I totally get, she enjoys eating dirt.

Also how long could I anticipate he'd stay in NICU, I'm 33 weeks.

[Tangarine Mummy Machine]

I had dd at 30+5weeks. She spent no time in nicu and went straight to scbu2. She had apgar of 9 and 10. She was even on suck feeds from day 1.

In scbu toddlers were allowed to come in. So ds got to meet dd the day she was born. I tried to stay in the hospital after dd's birth for as long as possible so i could be there 24 hours for her. Also whenever i was in scbu, i would be holding dd. We had lots of skin to skin in the breastfeeding area and enjoyed her newborn smell. Nobody else was there as long as i was was.

Then when i was home for the week after, i got to the hospital at 6am and left just after 6pm. I would be constantly with dd. The only time the nurses in scbu did anything for dd was overnight when i was at home.

[TrulyBlessed]

We were really lucky that DS1 & DD1 were allowed in to see DD2 when she was in NICU & they even had table & chairs for them to sit & draw at or if the nurses weren't busy they would read them a book. Mind you I still never stayed & long & I was in a different boat (lived 4hrs away) So I was staying in RMDH next to the hospital & my older 2 were at home with DH & my folks coming down every fortnight or so.

Sorry I'm not much help. But thought maybe a roster could be done up when people are available etc. You'll find away around.

[elleandsam]

There's only one nursery here so no changes in NICU and SCN, just different sections of the same area. And RPA don't allow children under 4 in.

Im just hoping he stays in as long as possible so any possible NICU stay is short.

[missymoo9]

i found it hard, we lived an hour away, i had a 16 month old who was incredibly attached and wouldnt sleep without me. there was no one to watch ds1 in the morning or at midday so i could only visit once a day for ds2's 4pm feed. we left home at 3 got there at 4 and left a 6. Ds2 slept the whole time aart for the few minutes he would suck feed. it was hard and i constantly got a hard time from the nurses about not been there enough. a few months later i found his.discharge papers in a little section of his blue book and it said on one part "parent too busy with 16 month old child" i felt like a piece of rubbish, just awful.

i hope your ds doesnt need nicu and can stay in a bit longer. good luck

[elleandsam]

Super - oh that would be my dream, for him to come up to the ward with me and not need the nursery, that would be amazing.

Missymoo - I can't believe they gave you such a hard time :hugs:

[mummaof4]

my sister had twin boys at 34w6days and neither needed any help. weighing 5'10 & 6'5
one didnt suck very well and ended up having the nuby cup spout instead of a bottle from a few weeks. but no tubes or anything. my sis was breastfeeding and topping him up with a bottle lid hehe. the things we do hey! lol

[sheep]

Hi :)

33 weeks is a good gestation, I truly hope you get to 36 in the very least. At 33 weeks you are looking at around 3-4 weeks in SCN, however that's only a estimate. Most say to aim for due date. Get to 34 weeks and you will be looking at 2-3 weeks in.

My DS1 was born at 30 weeks and he spent 6 weeks in, he spent time in ICU on the ventilator and CPAP. My DS2 was born at 34+3 weeks, 3090gms (6lb 13oz) and he was rushed off to NICU on the ventilator and then onto CPAP, he came home after just 8 days and discharged completely on day 11.

We lived over an hour away from NICU the second time around, so I lived next to the hospital while DS2 was in. DS1 met DS2 on day one in NICU while he was on the ventilator. Our NICU has a siblings only policy.

All the best x Hang on there wee bubba

[elleandsam]

I'm really disliking RPAs no children under 4 policy right now. My life would be so much easier if I could have both children with me. Emotionally too, I wouldn't feel as guilty!

I'm 34 weeks on Saturday. After Saturday I'm aiming for 36 weeks.

[3boysNAprincess]

With my 32 and 34 weekers I stayed 2 and 3 weeks respectively.

My dd was in the worst part of Nicu and the Nicu and SCN where not seperated really only a open ended wall between them.. Anyway Boone under 12 was allowed unless they where the brother or sister of the baby.

I'm shocked that she is not allowed

[elleandsam]

I'm shocked too, im going to ask again and again, maybe it's different staff. If we end up there she needs to meet her brother well before its home time.

[3BoysBlue]

DS2 was 32wks (by doctors date) around 33wks by mine
he spent 48hrs in NICU then was moved to SCN
on day 5 he was transferred to a closer SCN to home (they had a sibling only policy)
he was on CPAP for 12hrs then was on room air breathing on his own
with extra O2 going into his isolette just to help him a little bit
he was in an isolette for 2wks then moved into an open cot
all up he spent 6wks in hospital
he had temp/weight gain issues/feeding issues and reflux

ETA DS1 was 17mths at the time so it was hard at the time
but my baby need me more
and DS1 doesn't remember it anyway

[gottabecrazy]

my girls were 10wks early Randwick allows siblings in the NICU can you go to Randwick??

[elleandsam]

my girls were 10wks early Randwick allows siblings in the NICU can you go to Randwick??

Nope, Randwick is way too far for us. We live at Concord West.

[sheep]

I thought of something else last night... our hospital has a creche to put siblings in while mums visit NICU (and other appointments) it's only a 2 hour stint, but that really helps to spend time in the NICU with bub and then you could go to the park or something with DD on the way home.... therefore quality time with both kiddos.

Does your hospital have something like that?

[elleandsam]

I thought of something else last night... our hospital has a creche to put siblings in while mums visit NICU (and other appointments) it's only a 2 hour stint, but that really helps to spend time in the NICU with bub and then you could go to the park or something with DD on the way home.... therefore quality time with both kiddos.

Does your hospital have something like that?

Nope they don't, I really am disliking the policies, but I don't want to change hospitals as I really like my high risk team.

[sheep]

That sucks :(

I would double check with their policies.... ask about siblings visiting.

:hugs:

[elleandsam]

That sucks :(

I would double check with their policies.... ask about siblings visiting.

:hugs:

There are two issues, she's under 4 so hasn't been fully vaccinated. And there are babies as prem as 24 weeks that they can't risk getting an infection from my little germ factory. SCN and NICU aren't separate here.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

I had DS1 right on 34 weeks (2.1kg) and he only had to stay for 6 days!
Once he got his sucking reflux there was no stopping him.
Good luck.

[gottabecrazy]

Nope, Randwick is way too far for us. We live at Concord West.

bummer we live at Dee Why but decided to use a friends address just so i could go there as i had complcations and knew Randwick was the best place for the girls worth the travel

[TripleTime]

If sam is an early bird, don't expect him home before his due date.

As for spending time, you spend as much time as you need to between them. There is no rules.

[gottabecrazy]

If sam is an early bird, don't expect him home before his due date.

As for spending time, you spend as much time as you need to between them. There is no rules.

:iagree:

[7rugrats]

My dd3 was born at 28+1 and my dd2 was one day short of 11 months, plus I had the older four....she spent 9 weeks in the nursery (2 in th NICU)
ds4 was born at 25 weeks and dd3 was 13 months and dd2 had just turned 2...he spent 15 weeks in the nursery (7 in NICU)
It is a juggling act, we wher aloud to take the other kids in with us as long as the were washed up and gelled and not unwell.
There was a time when no children or visitors other than the parents. at all where aloud in...that was hard.
Normally only parents and grandparents could visit and only two people by the bedside at a time.
We were lucky enough to have a free creche that I could use for two hours a day....I got to know the staff very well.
We also used my mum and dad when we could but had very little family support.
I only missed a few days when I was unwell.
I could go in any time I wanted, 24 hours a day.
I used to go in at 6am to feed so DH could look after the kids, then 12pm and use the creche and then around 6pm when DH got home.
I look back and wonder how we did it but you just do what you have to at the time.
I hope Sam stays tucked up for a while yet and you can take you precious little man straight home.

[elleandsam]

If sam is an early bird, don't expect him home before his due date.

As for spending time, you spend as much time as you need to between them. There is no rules.

The whole thing is sucking big time. The Army are wanting DH up in his new unit beginning of March absolute latest to start his extra training to go to the Ghan in June. They've kept him here as long as they can, so Sam and I need to be home mid-Feb at the latest so we can get DH to his new location. God I'm getting so fed up with the whole thing. Where is the restate button?

[krystallxx]

God chicky you have had it rough lately .. Hope sam doesn't need any prolonged nicu stays .. I think you have had ur fair share of bull**** happen! Hopefully He won't have to go at all :)
My boys were 36wks .. One had fluid on the lungs and only needed scn for 48hrs.. A friend had her litle boy at 32wks and he was only in scn for 48hrs too ..
I'll be keeping everything crossed for you!!
You are such an inspiration to go thru the things you have and still keep on going .. Your kids will be very proud some day :) xoxoxox

[sheep]

There are two issues, she's under 4 so hasn't been fully vaccinated. And there are babies as prem as 24 weeks that they can't risk getting an infection from my little germ factory. SCN and NICU aren't separate here.

I understand that, but there are measures in place to help that too. When we were in, the NICU was one unit with 4 'rooms', ICU, HDU and 2 SCN. They also had an overflow SCN on a different floor. I took my DS1, 2 at the time, into the ICU to visit DS2. Our NICU has a sibling only policy, regardless as to age. We did however have scrub him up well and put a mask on him.