An Update....

[NicNac72]

Hi All,

I hope you all had wonderful Xmas's with your families etc!

I just thought i would pop in to give you an update on what is happening...

The kids have been really erratic and all over the place, not sleeping at night properly and being complete monsters during the day, but I can't blame them! I am just trying to be as patient as possible etc

It has been really hard, but we ended up having a nice Xmas Day, DH, was with us in the morning so we were all together with the kids, to watch them open presents etc etc etc....he went back to his place that night and we haven't heard from him since! Since we separated he hasn't gone more than a day without seeing them! So I have found this strange, but thought it is probably good, because seeing him constantly is really difficult!

I went down the shops yesterday to get some things for dinner (and a bottle of wine for me :p) and to get there I had to drive past his place/office!

Well, guess who's car was parked out the front????

Yes it was HER car, she has personalised number plates so it was easy to see. I wasn't even thinking about it! But her car is so obvious! Silly woman! I am not sure how I am going to deal with it or if I am going to confront them about it!
But I am starting to see the many lies and I am wondering how many more there are to come! It makes me feel silly I didn't recognise what was happening, but how could I? I thought we were prefectly happy! I just can't believe it!

One minute, one hour, one day and one week at a time! I know I will get there!

[waterlily]

My gosh, I am so sorry hun. He is a jerk! Begging you to take him back but dangling her on the side incase you don't.

You are a brave and amazing woman, I wish you all the best. I'm sure you will be fine, You have an amazing family and an abundance of support. :hugs:

Take comfort in knowing you made the right decision and remember we are all here behind you.

[faroutbrusselsprout]

Thanks for the update. I was wondering how you were going.... I think it speaks volumes that you made possibly one of the hardest decisions of your life....only to have it confirmed in such a manner! You should be so proud of your humility and strength. I think you're amazing!

[Myztik]

:hugs:

[V8]

Gosh, there's a reason right there to not doubt what you did was the right thing for you and your kiddies. I'm so in awe of you and your humility through the whole thing. What a total selfish jerk and as for the woman, how could someone do that to their friend? What kid of woman would want to be with a man that abandoned his wife and children for them? :( :no:
:hugs: :hugs:

[BabelFish]

Woah. I'm SO sorry :hugs:

I wish I could say `I can't believe it' but of course not. He's a cheater and I guess now that you've laid down the law he has to find `comfort' in any way he can. What a nasty piece of work. What kind of a friend is she?

I am so sad for you to have had to go through this. He just doesn't appreciate you and all of his rubbish about wanting to work things out, well, let me just say I'm SO proud of you for your strength and courage and resilience and for standing up for yourself the way you have.

You should be so proud of the way you have handled all of this. You can hold your head high and be the one who stands out in this awful mess as the ONLY one with any integrity, pride or values.

As if losing you wasn't enough - I hope his life falls apart. I really do.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[nalla]

:hugs:I just caught up on your threads and my heart goes out to you and your kids.

I think your amazing.

Please get in writing about him agreeing not to sell the house. Just to protect yourself.

[shellsbubs]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[rynosmum]

I only just read your previous thread after seeing this one. :hugs:

I'm so sorry to hear of everything you are going through. You are dealing with it all in such a mature manner and that is such a strong thing to do for the sake of the children. I have a horrible feeling that I would have embarrassed myself at least once, especially after seeing her car...perhaps with paint or eggs or a sledgehammer....How dare she walk into your home and try to walk out with your life?

You are a brave, wonderful, strong, caring mother and obviously a trusting and loving partner. I'm sorry that he has done this and that he has made it so much harder by choosing to do it with a willing friend.
No one is the winner in this situation but you are doing the right thing by your kids and being true to yourself. You are humble and mature. You shine out of the mess he has caused.

You can't control his feelings but you can control how you feel about yourself. Hold your head high girl, you are amazing. He will absolutely remember this too - but for him, it will most likely be too late. Silly, silly man.

[Californication]

WOW. Just WOW. What a jerk. Shows you made the right decision though. I can't believe that he would be begging you to come back but still be seeing her. Just WOW.

You are handling this a lot better than I think I would. Keep on taking that high road. You are so much better than either of them and he clearly doesn't deserve you.

Not enough hugs in the world, but here's a few :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs: to keep you going.

[NicNac72]

Thank you again, for your replies!

I have received legal advice in the regards to the house and I should be OK! It is in my name (for a few reasons) so keeping it for me and the children should not be a problem!

As for DH, I have not confronted him with knowing I saw her car at his place. I have still not heard from him directly either! I am not going to be calling him to tell him to come and see his children! He is 40 years of age and an adult he can organise that himself!

Over the past day or so I have gotten over the sadness, now I am just bloody angry. I presume this is all just part of the grief process. And I am glad I am no longer sad about him! I am sad for our children and how up until a month or so ago, our family was perfect!

Isn't it strange how quickly things can change!

Things are getting quite uncomforable around here. I still have DH's parents come over (and my mum) to help me with the kids and I know they dislike what DH has done to his family, but he is still their son! I don't want to put them in a position where they have to choose, I just hope we can all get through this, move forward and focus on the important things!

I had a dream last night that I set up a bonfire out the back and through all of DH's possessions in it! I woke up feeling brilliant.... 'I should do that' lol.... not that I would, but it was a nice thought at the time!

My parents are looking after the kids tonight, so I am going to a girlfriends house for drinks! I can't wait! I soooo need this! I may even stay the night and do brunch with the girls tomorrow morning! The funny thing is usually I would feel selfish for taking time out to do something for myself, but I don't anymore!

Wishing you all a great night tonight, what ever you do!

Thank you again for your kind words and support! I don't know any of you, but thank you! I am going to try and make more of an effort to post a little more regularly...and in the single parents section too, after all, I have to get used to it!

Nic x

[~Temet Nosce~]

:hugs:
you seem like a very strong, positive person and you will come out of this an even stronger, better person. It is his loss, keep your head high, don't dwell on the past (as hard as it may be) what matters now is this moment, and your (and your childrens) future.
I hope you have a great night :hugs::celebrate:

[waterlily]

That's awesome. Have a great night and enjoy yourself!!

[3boysNAprincess]

Gosh, there's a reason right there to not doubt what you did was the right thing for you and your kiddies. I'm so in awe of you and your humility through the whole thing. What a total selfish jerk and as for the woman, how could someone do that to their friend? What kid of woman would want to be with a man that abandoned his wife and children for them? :( :no:
:hugs: :hugs:

I agree! And as for your "friend" she must of been really loathing her life to do that to a friend.

Cow!
Let the cow and pig have each other you deseret much beter