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kpierce
25-12-2010, 00:01
Hi everyone,

I'm new to this forum, just need to know a few things. I am a lesbian and in a loving relationship with a girl whom I would love to have kids with someday. I am a little confused about how we would go about this. We have both definitely ruled out sleeping with a guy to get pregnant, and we DO want insemination but we want the child to have genes from BOTH of us. Is this possible? I mean yes, still have a sperm donor obviously, but is there a procedure in which they can take some dna/genes/etc from me and also from my partner?? It just seems to me like if one of us just had normal insemination, then it wouldnt techinically be BOTH of our baby, it would be me/her (whoever carries) and the donors... I would love nothing more than to have some of my genes and my partners genes in our baby, and call it officially ours.

Or would it be easier to do the egg exchange?? I can plant my egg and the donors sperm in HER and vice versa. So we would be carrying each others child? Does that make sense? I dont know Im really confused. I wish we didnt need sperm!!! I wish they could create an artificial sperm thats like the BASE of the baby, and my genes and my partners genes can do the rest.

Mind you, we wont be doing this until we have the money. I know its a costly procedure... It wont be for years. Im just thinking about it now though, maybe start planning it.

Can anyone offer any advice? Thank you so much!

fickwalker
05-01-2011, 19:25
Welcome to BH! This place is a wonderful source of information.

At this stage, there is no clinical way for both of your genes to be included in your possible baby. The egg exchange is a great idea if you feel that you really must have a link to the child but the link wouldn't be biological, just gestational.

Your first port of call should be your local fertility clinics to see if they will actually treat you and your partner. There are a number of clinics in each state that will not treat same sex couples or single women (Sydney IVF, for example). Places like Fertility First in Hurstville, NSW are more than happy to treat single women and lesbians. They also have a great supply of donor sperm that complies with Australian regulations.

Once you find a clinic that you're happy with, you have a number of options... IUI, IVF etc. It's best to speak to the clinic and find out what you're most comfortable with.

All the very best for your baby journey! I hope everything goes smoothly for you. :)