I dont know if I can handle Xmas day

[just her chameleon]

We are traveling to the gold coast to spend Xmas day with DH's family. I dont know if I can handle it. I am feeling really anxious about seeing so many people and having them ask me when #2 is coming along. I don't think I will be able to cope.

I was supposed to go back to work today to tidy things up for EOM which had been brought forward due to xmas :( I couldn't do it- I had a mini melt down this morning and couldn't go in. Im a mess, 2 days ago I was worried because I wasn't crying now I can't stop crying it's like the flood gates have opened.


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[Myztik]

I have no advice but couldn't read and not post.

:hugs::hugs: do your family know what happened?

[KatiesMum]

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

Can you perhaps get your DH to talk to the people while you are outside or something and let them know, ask them not to ask questions etc?

Might make things easier for you.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[The Girls Only Club]

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[just her chameleon]

Thanks for your replies, my FIL knows and I guess he told my SMIL and SIL but I dont know about everyone else. They are his extended family cousins, aunties uncles.

I don't think I want them to know. I can't handle the sympathetic looks and the "are you ok" questions. Im sorry, it makes me sound so selfish i just don't know what to do with myself right now. I guess I can't have to best of both worlds I either have to put up with the are you ok's or the when's #2 :(

I just feel like telling DH that I dont want to go :( but thats not fair on him or DD she will love seeing the family and I know she will be spoilt rotten. I don't want to take that away from her.


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[KatiesMum]

:hugs:

everyone handles things differently hun.

Only you know what you want and how to deal with things. Perhaps ask your DH to make sure he sticks to you like glue and deflects any questions .... and perhaps explain you arent feeling well, so you might want to go and lie down. you have a headache so laying quietly/not talking to people etc without actually being rude.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[BabelFish]

:hugs:

You are not selfish. I hope that you are ok on Christmas Day. I'm very sorry for your loss.

:hugs:

[Amara]

Hugs. As hard as it seems its still probably best if it is out in the open. People are unlikely to ask you anything if they know. If they don't know they are far more likely to upset you.

[flicker]

:hugs: it is so natural to be feeling like this. Loss is some how even harder at Christmas and having people ask akward questions when you are still grieving is horrible.

be strong and concentrate on your son and the sparkle in his eyes. Maybe stick around the people who know that can help deflect the dreded #2 question, like katiesmum suggested.

and know if you end up crying, that there is no shame in that at all and people dont need to know the reason for your tears.

:hugs:

[bundmum]

I have no idea... gods, I'd be a complete mess so :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[just her chameleon]

Thanks for all your support :) I had a good chat to DH about it today and he thinks we (ie he) should tell everyone so at least I won't be put in any uncomfortable situation with answering questions etc. I tend to agree with him but i'm still not keen on the idea. He just promised he'd look after me :)


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[MyFab4]

Lots of hugs :hugs:hun. I know exactly what you mean. I avoided a Mum I used to chat to at school all the time, at a party the other day for fear of the more kids topic coming up plus i haven't seen her for a few mths and she looks like she might be pregnant. She probably thinks I'm a big snob now but i just couldn't deal with it. It seems to be a question I'm asked all the time (more kids) and I have the same fear with Christmas Day. It's such a hard time isn't it? I hope it helps by telling everyone, I'm still undecided what I'll do about that one.

[Jemleevan]

How did you go Bundymum? I really hope it wasn't as hard as you thought it would be.

My MIL made us promise to go to their house for a big Christmas get together, even though I'd told her that we didn't want to. I ended up going there for breakfast and then left and went to my family's house for lunch and the afternoon. My hubby stayed, so it sucked that we spent most of the day apart, but it was the only way to avoid an arguement and for me not to have to be there. Everyone there knew what we had been through and I knew their concern was heartfelt, but I'm like you, I couldn't handle the thought of a day full of pityful looks...

Anyways, :hugs: to you and hope you're doing alright...

[just her chameleon]

How did you go Bundymum? I really hope it wasn't as hard as you thought it would be.

My MIL made us promise to go to their house for a big Christmas get together, even though I'd told her that we didn't want to. I ended up going there for breakfast and then left and went to my family's house for lunch and the afternoon. My hubby stayed, so it sucked that we spent most of the day apart, but it was the only way to avoid an arguement and for me not to have to be there. Everyone there knew what we had been through and I knew their concern was heartfelt, but I'm like you, I couldn't handle the thought of a day full of pityful looks...

Anyways, :hugs: to you and hope you're doing alright...

It wasn't too bad... DH stuck to me like glue and deflected the questions we decided not to tell everyone because I didn't feel comfortable :(

Thanks xx


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