PDA

View Full Version : Anyone had any negative comments from family or friends about their pregnancy?


BlakeNatsMum
05-09-2006, 08:35 AM
Hi All,

I felt I would start this thread, to get a little rant off my chest! (I hope you all don't mind and think I'm just whingeing!)

Yesterday afternoon I got a phonecall from my DP saying that his Aunt needed to stay over at our house last night because she had appointments here. That was okay, lucky I was actually cooking a roast anyway!

Anyway Aunt arrives and we were just generally chatting whilst I was serving tea up. I was talking to DP asking him if he was going to inform her of our new arrival as she is the last person now to be told about our new arrival, everyone else knows, including DP's own mother and family, and they were actually very happy for us! Anyway DP said to me that he wanted to find a better time to tell her because this Aunt is very harsh on matters like this and always has something negative to say about it. I suppose in hindsight he was afraid of what she would say. Having said that, this Aunt has never ever had any children of her own due to having been jilted by a boyfriend many years ago, the Aunt is around 67 years old. When he had said something along the lines of that we needed a better time to tell her, I got mad with him as this was the only real opportunity that we would have to tell her because we dont really see her often and she is always very busy. I told him I would rather tell her than have someone else off the street tell her, which would only cause more grief to the situation.

After I got mad, I then got really upset and I burst into tears! I rarely ever cry at all! He had made me feel like we were dirty and to be ashamed of our new arrival because we knew that she would "disapprove" of OUR decision to have another child! So I toddled off to the bathroom to collect myself whilst he just jabbered on normal talk to her.

I came out with red eyes and proceeded to cut the roast up whilst he bought her out to the kitchen.

Anyway he bought it out there and then infront of me that we were expecting a new arrival, and he pointed to my belly. She just stood there, looked at me and said "Oh no"... "No.. No...No.. No.. No" she said. I thought "here we go!".. DP tried to calmly explain to her our reasons for wanting another child, about us not wanting a big age gap between our children and our various other reasons. I was actually upset at her saying all those "No's!" His Aunt was going on about the fact that we haven't bought a house, and the rest of it! Basically, his Aunt is from the old school, everything has to be done as she wishes for it to be done and in her order! So for the next 30 mins to an hour we ended up defending ourselves at the kitchen table over it! :eek:

Also she told us it had better be a girl! She said she didn't want anymore bloody boys!.. We have a boy already, and her nephew who she helped raise, also had a boy early this year! I was feeling abit fragile again over the whole conversation but had to hold myself together, and try and get it through to her that we were very happy with our decision and that we were happy with our new arrival! And so we learnt, that if our poor baby wasn't a girl then she wasn't going to be all that interested in it!..

So that's my rant, I have tried to keep it very short, and I apologise if I have gone on, but that is about the gist of the problem!

I hope that all the other mums out there don't have as bad a time as what we had last night. But I am glad that she now knows that we are happy with our new arrival, and that regardless of what sex bub is, we will love him/her, whether we have her approval or not!... :kiss:

Thanks All for Listening,

Jen. :eek:

Oscar's mum
05-09-2006, 08:41 AM
Oh that is horrible. Some ppl should keep their reactions and mouths shut.:mad:

tweedledee*tweedledum
05-09-2006, 08:48 AM
I have the exact problem with meddling family members on my husband's side. We just had twins in April this year and I am pregnant again, so you can imagine the uproar we have had, everything from we are irresponsible to our children will end up being neglected etc. It is horrible to hear because it is meant to be such a happy time, so I feel for you. I wish people would mind their own business, especially those without children, because I don't think they have any right to judge until they are in the same position. :mad:

TickledPink
05-09-2006, 09:33 AM
your poor thing!

some people really need to learn to keep their opinions to themselves.

we're lucky everyone has been really supportive of our little jellybean on the way - although i must admit that i was expecting people to react negatively considering we only got married 3 months ago.

Sarie
05-09-2006, 09:40 AM
That's just awful.
My inlaws haven't had a positive thing to say about finding out we were pregnant with any of our kids. Even our first when we tried for a number of years before we fell pregnant.
We didn't tell them straight away this time because we were so excited and we didn't want them to bring us down.

lizzymcfizzy
05-09-2006, 09:48 AM
:hugs: you poor thing. Some people can be so cruel and family can be worse. There is always someone who has something nasty to say.

Just try to remember thats its THEIR problem, not yours. They are the ones who have issues with children for their own reasons, let it go in one ear and out the other because you are doing what YOU want to do.

Mikeswifey
05-09-2006, 10:04 AM
Like honestly wtf.



Rhiannon

Cheekychops
05-09-2006, 10:08 AM
My grandma didn't acknowledge my pregnancy with DS2, or look at my tummy or anything until I was about 38 weeks preg and she lives with my parents so I saw her alot. . .to this day I don't know what her problem is/was....oh and she also thinks 'how can you do that to a child' about the names of her great grandchildren - apparently it's unfair to give them a modern name it should be something like edward, raymond or william not jordan or jamieson!!!! What the???

moomoosmummy
05-09-2006, 10:19 AM
my aunty was very rude when she found out because her daughter the oldest of the grand children was married first and been trying to get pregnant we slipped in there and got the limelight if they wanna be like that though i just laugh it off.
your just lucky that you dont have to see her all the time

Mikeswifey
05-09-2006, 10:21 AM
moomoo, that was like me!

Its like we have rained on their parade or something...lol

lizzymcfizzy
05-09-2006, 10:40 AM
OMG how immature!! Some people are out of this world.

BlakeNatsMum
05-09-2006, 12:18 PM
Thank you all for your wonderful support! It makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone. Although it is sad that there have been so many negative responses to the mum's of bubs due in April. And really I reckon "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything all" should apply to all those people with negatives things to say about people!

SairBear
06-09-2006, 01:32 PM
Thank you all for your wonderful support! It makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone. Although it is sad that there have been so many negative responses to the mum's of bubs due in April. And really I reckon "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything all" should apply to all those people with negatives things to say about people!

I know its hard hearing that stuff, but keep ya head up :)

when we announced we were pregnant we got the "when r u getting married?" question which really got on my nerves.... some ppl! ah well !.... still not married and have no plans to and very happy the way we are :)

BlakeNatsMum
06-09-2006, 01:42 PM
That's exactly my thoughts! We may not be married but we are very happy the way we are! We live like a married couple and I'm not worried by a piece of paper at this point! We will eventually get married when we feel the time is right...!

Mamaduke
06-09-2006, 01:54 PM
When we first told the IL's about us being pregnant with Jesse...keeping in mind that...
a) we had been married for 2 years
b) owned our own home (well the bank did!)
c) both had steady jobs - DH's was well paid:o ...
d) this was their first grandchild and first baby in the family for 20 odd years...
Smother in law says..."Well when is she thinking of finishing work?" meaning me...meaning there would only be one income and her poor son would have to work while I sat on my ar$e.
With Lukey the response was..."Well she won't be going back to work anytime soon then."
I'm just gonna keep breedin' and 'sittin' on my ar$e'...he he he he he :devil6:

lizzymcfizzy
06-09-2006, 01:58 PM
LOL "smother" in law :laughing:

WitchHazel
06-09-2006, 02:35 PM
Your DP's aunt is just plain rude. For some reason, when it comes to babies and pregnancy, some people seem to think that the normal rules of "minding your own business" do not apply! I'm sure you could find some fault with the way your DP's aunt lives her life, but you're too polite to say so!
I hope you manage to enjoy your pregnancy and I hope your bub is a boy!! Take that nasty aunt!!